Questions for the Men

[LonelyInAtl]

What if a girl doesn't know much about your profession/field/major subject? Is it a turn off?

Only if she's not willing to learn a bit about it. Since it is a big part of my life, she should be interested in at least a fundamental understanding of what I do for at least 8 hours a day.

 

[Limlim]

Man last thing I ever wanted to do at the end of the day was talk about work. Drove My ex gf insane because she thought I walling her off or hiding something.

It really was just that dull.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I never said discuss work. I simply was referring to someone knowing that part of my life and a bit more than "he works with computers." That could pretty much be anyone who has an office job these days.

 

[purplebutterfly]

i have a question...
when you run/jog do your bits and bobs get uncomfortable?

 

[Edward W]

Not mine.

 

[Badjedidude]

when you run/jog do your bits and bobs get uncomfortable?

Nope.

 

[Limlim]

i have a question...
when you run/jog do your bits and bobs get uncomfortable?

Nah guys shorts are pretty awesome like that. They have some space for the extra pieces in there to breathe and move about so they aren't squished against you, but only -just- enough. So they're snug enough that they aren't flapping around all over the place either. One of those things you look for when buying running attire.

Also, we're talking about balls right? Just in case you meant something else besides that.

 

[purplebutterfly]

yes thats what i meant by 'bits and bobs' and thanks for the detailed response

 

[kamya]

Plus we can wear briefs/boxerbriefs and not really care about how things fit. Gets rid of the problem of them sticking to things we don't want them to. It's still gonna be a pain for the guys that like wearing girlpants though. I've never seen a guy able to run in girlpants.

 

[Masque]

What's with some guys always thinking girls are saying something other than what they mean and looking for codes that aren't there? Especially if they've known the girl for ages and she's always been forward?

 

[Badjedidude]

What's with some guys always thinking girls are saying something other than what they mean and looking for codes that aren't there? Especially if they've known the girl for ages and she's always been forward?

That's a pretty general question. Some background might help us answer it.

But briefly:

Often women do say things other than what they mean. Women are a mystery to a lot of men, and can at times be hard for a man to figure out. There's nothing wrong with that; it's just that women and men are different and have different focuses and understandings of each other.

For what it's worth... it's possible that a woman can think she's being forward, and from a woman's perspective she is. But from a man's perspective, she may not be forward at all.

Like I said, it's really hard to answer a question like that without more information.

 

[Masque]

What's with some guys always thinking girls are saying something other than what they mean and looking for codes that aren't there? Especially if they've known the girl for ages and she's always been forward?

That's a pretty general question. Some background might help us answer it.

But briefly:

Often women do say things other than what they mean. Women are a mystery to a lot of men, and can at times be hard for a man to figure out. There's nothing wrong with that; it's just that women and men are different and have different focuses and understandings of each other.

For what it's worth... it's possible that a woman can think she's being forward, and from a woman's perspective she is. But from a man's perspective, she may not be forward at all.

Like I said, it's really hard to answer a question like that without more information.

Okay, hmm...

This is a friend of mine with whom I was considering a long-distance relationship at one point, but we decided that there were way too many obstacles and we'd leave it as friends. That was a few months ago. I thought things were calm and fine, but suddenly everything I've done since has a hidden meaning and it's all coming back to haunt me tonight.

Example:

Last month I linked him a song, he misinterpreted the meaning as me broaching the subject of long-distance again, I said that I just thought it was a good song, and now he thinks it has that meaning again for no reason at all. Unless everything else I've done having a hidden meaning is reason for thinking the song has a hidden meaning, but then it just becomes circular reasoning.

Is there any way to convince him to chill out after asking and explaining has failed?

 

[Dissident]

Just another reason people should stop listening to songs about relationships. Just tell him exactly your intent and that you don't do double-talk and that there's nothing to read out of it. If he's continuing to read things out of it it's obvious he still wants the relationship. If that's the case, stop talking to him for a while. For someone who reads things out of stuff, nothing says "I'm seriously not interested" like protracted periods of silence.

 

[Masque]

Just another reason people should stop listening to songs about relationships. Just tell him exactly your intent and that you don't do double-talk and that there's nothing to read out of it. If he's continuing to read things out of it it's obvious he still wants the relationship. If that's the case, stop talking to him for a while. For someone who reads things out of stuff, nothing says "I'm seriously not interested" like protracted periods of silence.

I did tell him that. I'll feel bad, but I might just make myself scarce for awhile. It's kind of freaking me out because I don't know what's going to mean what to him.

When we decided to give it up he was worried we wouldn't be friends anymore and that I was heartbroken, but I told him nothing about the actual friendship would change and I'd be fine. Now he's decided that everything is ruined and I'm miserable after all, because I don't know why? Maybe he really does still want the relationship too much for this.

 

[Revengineer]

Just another reason people should stop listening to songs about relationships. Just tell him exactly your intent and that you don't do double-talk and that there's nothing to read out of it. If he's continuing to read things out of it it's obvious he still wants the relationship. If that's the case, stop talking to him for a while. For someone who reads things out of stuff, nothing says "I'm seriously not interested" like protracted periods of silence.

I did tell him that. I'll feel bad, but I might just make myself scarce for awhile. It's kind of freaking me out because I don't know what's going to mean what to him.

When we decided to give it up he was worried we wouldn't be friends anymore and that I was heartbroken, but I told him nothing about the actual friendship would change and I'd be fine. Now he's decided that everything is ruined and I'm miserable after all, because I don't know why? Maybe he really does still want the relationship too much for this.

It can be hard for us to let go of our feelings for someone once we become aware of them. It sounds like your friend has seriously played up the fantasy of dating you in his mind and now it's affecting all his interactions with you.

I think the options on your end are pretty limited. You can either avoid him as mentioned previously, or tell him off harshly and hope the message finally gets through. Think of it as damage control for your friendship :/

 

[Limlim]

Yeah sometimes him saying he wants to be friends is a desperate attempt to hang on in hopes you'll change your mind in the future and want to be more.

 

[WishingWell]

This is a question about something that is going on with me now. After so many years, a man, who was my boyfriend as a teenager, got in touch with me by seeing me on Facebook. I swore I would never get into a relationship again and felt I was too old (55) to find anyone, and in addition, I have mental illness and figured no one would want to get involved with me. Well, now this man and I have been talking for 2-3 1/2 hours on the phone every night, and when his work schedule allows, he visits me on Saturday and we go out. I always insist on paying 1/2 the bill, because we agreed to just be friends. Two nights ago, he told me that he is not sure about being in a relationship either because of being burned in the past, but is not sure he feels that way anymore. I am confused too. By swearing to each other we are just friends, but getting closer and closer by our conversations and seeing each other, do you, the men of ALL think we should tone it down and have less contact or none at all, or just see where this leads?

I WOULD HAVE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS THOUGHT THAT MY SIGNATURE WOULD POSSIBLY PERTAIN TO ME!

 

[WildernessWildChild]

See where it leads W.W.- maybe he's the prize at the end of the journey.

 

[WishingWell]

See where it leads W.W.- maybe he's the prize at the end of the journey.

If that's true, I would treat him like solid gold. I would have never believed I would have something like that happen at this stage of my life!

Thanks for giving me a bit of hope WWC!

 

[WildernessWildChild]

See where it leads W.W.- maybe he's the prize at the end of the journey.

If that's true, I would treat him like solid gold. I would have never believed I would have something like that happen at this stage of my life!

Thanks for giving me a bit of hope WWC!

Your welcome W.W., hope makes everything seem better. As far as age is concerned, don't think of it as having limitations, value it for the experience you've gained.

Most importantly though, Have Fun!