Questions for the Men

[aspalas]

I'd also just see were it leads, why not take a chance?

 

[kamya]

Two nights ago, he told me that he is not sure about being in a relationship either because of being burned in the past, but is not sure he feels that way anymore.

This is a line many guys use as a form of running game and it's sole purpose is to confuse and get in your head and make you think about him. Make you think you are going to be the one to possibly fix things. The special one.

Some of us say it because that's what we really feel but beware, there are a lot of guys using the above tactic. Though, if you are already interested in him then I don't see the harm in seeing where things go.

 

[perfanoff]

Thank you, perfanoff. Do not worry about coming across grumpy! Your words provide hope for loving relationships and family, men like you may be rare so you should teach and share

This is a question about something that is going on with me now. After so many years, a man, who was my boyfriend as a teenager, got in touch with me by seeing me on Facebook. I swore I would never get into a relationship again and felt I was too old (55) to find anyone, and in addition, I have mental illness and figured no one would want to get involved with me. Well, now this man and I have been talking for 2-3 1/2 hours on the phone every night, and when his work schedule allows, he visits me on Saturday and we go out. I always insist on paying 1/2 the bill, because we agreed to just be friends. Two nights ago, he told me that he is not sure about being in a relationship either because of being burned in the past, but is not sure he feels that way anymore. I am confused too. By swearing to each other we are just friends, but getting closer and closer by our conversations and seeing each other, do you, the men of ALL think we should tone it down and have less contact or none at all, or just see where this leads?

I WOULD HAVE NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS THOUGHT THAT MY SIGNATURE WOULD POSSIBLY PERTAIN TO ME!

I would take it as a face value. Talking about getting burned, he's probably afraid of investing too much at this point because of either rejection, or that it could not last.

Being afraid absolutely doesn't mean he wouldn't want to be with you though. His actions clearly show it's otherwise. I say go with it.

 

[Edward W]

I say go for it as well, otherwise you could regret it. No one can say what will happen, but sometimes you have to take that risk and make the jump.

 

[BrokenInside]

Is it a big deal if your partner is working on a higher post and more successful than you?

 

[perfanoff]

Yes. I'm not where I would like to be financially, and I'd be split between my pride and using her as a sugar mommy to reach my goals. I don't see another way than an emotional tear down.

Suppose there was a time where I was where I would like to be financially, THEN it wouldn't matter.

PS It did happen to me and it didn't work out.

 

[Dissident]

If I had a girlfriend who was more successful than me I'd congratulate her.

 

[Cavey]

I don't think it really matters to me. There are different ways of measuring success and they're not all tied to career or finances. Having said that, it's never happened to me, so it could be wishful thinking.

 

[Limlim]

As long as I was still contributing a respectable amount to the expenses still I'd be fine. Hell having more money coming into the house is only a good thing after that yeah? It's less an issue of her making more money than the feeling of not pulling your own weight.

 

[MellyVinelli]

At the moment I'm not making any money and gf is a RN so she makes substatial money. It's bad enough as it is but she rubs it in and verbally abuses me so yeah. Not recommended from my point of view. However, if the lady is supportive of helping the guy get back on his two feet. Absolutely not as big of a problem.

 

[EveWasFramed]

At the moment I'm not making any money and gf is a RN so she makes substatial money. It's bad enough as it is but she rubs it in and verbally abuses me so yeah. Not recommended from my point of view. However, if the lady is supportive of helping the guy get back on his two feet. Absolutely not as big of a problem.

*scratches head*
Didn't you say in one of your other posts that you're "supporting" her?

 

[WildernessWildChild]

At the moment I'm not making any money and gf is a RN so she makes substatial money. It's bad enough as it is but she rubs it in and verbally abuses me so yeah. Not recommended from my point of view. However, if the lady is supportive of helping the guy get back on his two feet. Absolutely not as big of a problem.

*scratches head*
Didn't you say in one of your other posts that you're "supporting" her?

That's what I read.

 

[murmi97]

Do you (usually) feel like you can be single again right after a breakup or do you need someone else as soon as possible? I'd be interested to know what's going on there, most especially from men who answer that they can't.

 

[9006]

This is another thing that's gonna vary from guy to guy.

Personally, it depends on my mood, if I feel angry or a bit crazy, I'll probably end up in a rebound, but this has only happened once. Normally, I just stay single.

---

PS; welcome to the forum, if I haven't said already.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Do you (usually) feel like you can be single again right after a breakup or do you need someone else as soon as possible? I'd be interested to know what's going on there, most especially from men who answer that they can't.

Im not a guy, but I think that the answer to your question really depends on the person's personality. Some people simply CANT be alone. Others can be alone for a time but then get lonely and reach out...some might do just fine being alone for long periods, and some - indefintiely.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Do you (usually) feel like you can be single again right after a breakup or do you need someone else as soon as possible? I'd be interested to know what's going on there, most especially from men who answer that they can't.

After splitting up the last thing I want is someone else, I simply need time to think and pull myself together. Whenever I've seen men (or women) immediately seeking someone else I can't help but wonder what their depth of commitment really was. It seems nasty or vindictive when they decide to parade/display their "new-found love" around- my respect level for those types rapidly plunges.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Do you (usually) feel like you can be single again right after a breakup or do you need someone else as soon as possible? I'd be interested to know what's going on there, most especially from men who answer that they can't.

After splitting up the last thing I want is someone else, I simply need time to think and pull myself together. Whenever I've seen men (or women) immediately seeking someone else I can't help but wonder what their depth of commitment really was. It seems nasty or vindictive when they decide to parade/display their "new-found love" around- my respect level for those types rapidly plunges.

Agreed, if that's why they're doing it. It's an ugly attempt at obtaining a pound a flesh.

 

[murmi97]

I guess I was silly to ask for them(male or female) here - probably the last people to admit they're lonely.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I guess I was silly to ask for them(male or female) here - probably the last people to admit they're lonely.

You really think that? LOL, look at the name of the place. A Lonely Life Forum.

The majority of members here say that they are indeed lonely.

 

[Limlim]

yeah after a breakup the last thing I want to do is be in another one, it takes me years to want to get back on the boat again.