Questions for the Men

[Bones]

This is where acts of service comes in and have done similar things in the past:

~ get off work early since i have extreme flexibility
~ if children involved, pick them up from school, daycare, etc
~ take care of the children and other household needs
~ buy dinner since no one likes my cooking because it tends to be really spicy
~ set up a table with candles and a yellow rose in the middle
~ let her eat in peace
~ make a hot bath for her
~ massage her feet (not sure why this can be a big deal for women)
~ and provide her distance unless she wanted to talk (and listen instead of trying to fix something.

I use to be always like this but no one really appreciated until after the relationship was over and they would say later how much they missed little things like that.

Anyway, in the morning, I would take care of the children and what not and leave a note that says "I love you" in order for her to see it, have her coffee ready, etc.

And, now I am sad upon reflection of the above because for some reason, I suck at relationships even after going through all of the trouble of trying to make things right - I don't get it - seriously, i don't.

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

 

[WildernessWildChild]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

I thought this would be a great time to share some wisdom with those of my gender...

 

[Cavey]

I no longer have a significant other, but I can answer this in one word... badly. I feel like I've often put my own feelings ahead of their feelings. I think I probably didn't even realise they'd had a bad day, because I was too busy thinking about myself.

I think that nowadays I'd do a much better job of it, but I won't really know until I get a chance to prove it.

But what WOULD you do now, if you were in that situation, Cavey?

I was hoping you wouldn't ask!

Going off the past, I guess the most important thing would be just to listen and attempt to understand why she's feeling so bad. I'd try and take care of anything that needs done, so that she can unwind and work things through in her mind. Offer advice if it's asked for. Try and put my personal feelings aside, so that I can help her to get in a better state of mind.

 

[EveWasFramed]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

I thought this would be a great time to share some wisdom with those of my gender...

haha... (D)
It was a serious question, H.

 

[Limlim]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

I think I may have mentioned this before. But I pull my pants down and show her my ass, and refuse to put it away until she feels better.

I make a really big deal over it, as if my ass being out is a force of nature that is directly tied to her mood. Eventually this ends in her getting confused or breaking out into a giggling fit. While this may make her feel better it probably doesn't solve any actual problems.

 

[Edward W]

What I try to do:

Hold her, give a big hug
Listen to what it is that has caused a bad day, offer my support
Offer to make dinner, tell her to have a bath / relax
Rub her feet (Usually gets that anyway, but...)
Giver her a back massage
If I go to the shops I'll get her a little treat

Um, not sure what else, depends on the actual situation, but that's a general idea of what I usually try to do, maybe not all at one time, but a mix of them anyway.

 

[ardour]

Run and hide.

 

[ladyforsaken]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

Gasp! I was wondering this too.

I think I may have mentioned this before. But I pull my pants down and show her my ass, and refuse to put it away until she feels better.

I make a really big deal over it, as if my ass being out is a force of nature that is directly tied to her mood. Eventually this ends in her getting confused or breaking out into a giggling fit. While this may make her feel better it probably doesn't solve any actual problems.

Hahahahahaha.. that is kinda cute. But I mean, if the woman is having a really bad day... she might get even more annoyed that you don't seem to take her seriously!

Run and hide.

Really?

 

[theraab]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

It's important in these situations to listen to what she's upset about and then reassure her that she shouldn't be upset. For example, I might say something like, "Hon, are you upset because you didn't have time to clean up the house? Don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

 

[perfanoff]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

It's important in these situations to listen to what she's upset about and then reassure her that she shouldn't be upset. For example, I might say something like, "Hon, are you upset because you didn't have time to clean up the house? Don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

YES! Also not mad about her not making a sandwich.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Dammit, you people be serious. :club:

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Dammit, you people be serious. :club:

But...but...I was serious Eve...

Everything I know came out of this fascinating read....

 

[EveWasFramed]

Dammit, you people be serious. :club:

But...but...I was serious Eve...

Everything I know came out of this fascinating read....

Go pound that book up your ass, H.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Dammit, you people be serious. :club:

But...but...I was serious Eve...

Everything I know came out of this fascinating read....

Go pound that book up your ass, H.

That would be uncomfortable.

 

[EveWasFramed]

That would be uncomfortable.

The book or my foot - you choose.
That, or post a serious reply. :club:

 

[WildernessWildChild]

That would be uncomfortable.

The book or my foot - you choose.
That, or post a serious reply. :club:

 

[EveWasFramed]

That would be uncomfortable.

The book or my foot - you choose.
That, or post a serious reply. :club:

I hate you.

 

[theraab]

You want a real answer, Eve, here's a real answer. I ask what's wrong, and what I can do to help. I try to reinforce that we will work through things together and that I'll stand by her, whatever she does. I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay, and I try to hold her hand to comfort her.

When my Jackie was first diagnosed, and we were leaving the parking lot from the first consult with her oncologist, she asked me, "will you still love me when I lose all my hair?" - I said, "Will you still love me when I lose all mine?" (I'm starting to bald) - that made her feel better.

When she was in the hospital on one trip, and her surgeon had recommended she go home on hospice (but she didn't hear the doctor say it, so I had to be the one who told her), I tried to hold her hand and tell her that I loved her, and she pulled her hand away and started to cry.

You win some and you lose some; all I know is there is no one formula that always works for every situation.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You want a real answer, Eve, here's a real answer. I ask what's wrong, and what I can do to help. I try to reinforce that we will work through things together and that I'll stand by her, whatever she does. I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay, and I try to hold her hand to comfort her.

When my Jackie was first diagnosed, and we were leaving the parking lot from the first consult with her oncologist, she asked me, "will you still love me when I lose all my hair?" - I said, "Will you still love me when I lose all mine?" (I'm starting to bald) - that made her feel better.

When she was in the hospital on one trip, and her surgeon had recommended she go home on hospice (but she didn't hear the doctor say it, so I had to be the one who told her), I tried to hold her hand and tell her that I loved her, and she pulled her hand away and started to cry.

You win some and you lose some; all I know is there is no one formula that always works for every situation.

Raab....that has to be one of the greatest things Ive ever read here.
Kudos to you and your sweet Jackie. Im sorry that you guys didn't get the chance at happily ever after. (((Raab)))

 

[Evil_Genius]

New question for the men....

How do you deal with your significant other if she's had a crappy day and is either upset, in a bad mood or feeling down?

When I am having a good enough day myself to cope then I let her tell me about her day in whatever length it takes to get it off her chest and come to her own conclusions about whatever action she needs to take next. I provide a shoulder to cry on if needed.

As my own personal mood worsens I do less of the above list.