Questions for the Men

[Adamridge79]

case and point

 

[Adamridge79]

Personal pride sucks

 

[Adamridge79]

That is literally that then

 

[Adamridge79]

Wishes for more...won't lie

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Mind explosion I never made the link between isolation and psychopathy…. Until reading it now, a flash of inmates in solitary confinement popped into my mind.

I like the idea of needing to be able to check and balance but this all seems so complicated to me as i’ve never felt the need to do this even when I was lonely and treated more as an outcast… I never needed to worry about being too into a guy… I never worried about being violent, interesting…

I think most men are borderline simps or at least have a key ideal of woman they would simp for… sometimes I test guys on how they are in the sense of i’ll sat something out of line (nothing too crazy) before our date, if he leaves it I know he’s an insecure mess if he pulls me up on it… I know he’s worth going on a date with. I can see the humour in some of it though lol

For highly creative people, artists, musicians, sculptors, writers, etc; That's what isolation is usually used for, a creative outlet. It's a trance-like experience.

Your mind goes somewhere else entirely. The biggest trouble with that is that's the recipe for Mania. Mania + Isolation = beautiful artistic output. The trouble is that it's not necessarily mentally healthy, because it borders on a Psychotic Break where the lines between fantasy and reality can blur, or even completely disappear.

Which is why you see celebrities kind of snapping the way that they do sometimes: Britney's breakdown, Whitney's cocaine relapse, and Cobain's repeated attempts to kill himself until he finally did.

The best works of art have always been impromptu and improvised. When Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin wrote the lyrics for Stairway To Heaven, he wrote it improvisationally while in front of a fireplace, later recalling that he actually had to go back and read what he had written because he felt as if he didn't write it, but that it was written through him instead. Van Gogh's Manic Field Paintings were of a similar experience, he exhausted himself in an impromptu psychotic manic break, which is why his field paintings are famous in the first place: They weren't planned, he put brush to paint, paint to canvas, and that's what came out. Pablo Picasso is known for doing it with Abstract Art.

Hendrix would lose himself in this state entirely, which is why he played until his fingers bled. That's the creative writing experience. There is no more of an intimate relationship that I can think of than a creative with their passion. Even the relationships I've had don't touch that.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Question of the day men…

Would it bother you if your partner slept with their ex quickly maybe first 2 weeks of dating and is currently making you wait and its been hmm 4 ish months?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Question of the day men…

Would it bother you if your partner slept with their ex quickly maybe first 2 weeks of dating and is currently making you wait and its been hmm 4 ish months?

Is that a troll question, or are you being serious?
Yes, that would probably bother most men.
I think if it's been 2-ish months, that's long enough to know that it's dead.
Three at the most.
90 Day Probationary Period and all that jazz.
What is that dude thinking??

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Is that a troll question, or are you being serious?
Yes, that would probably bother most men.
I think if it's been 2-ish months, that's long enough to know that it's dead.
Three at the most.
90 Day Probationary Period and all that jazz.
What is that dude thinking??

When have I ever trolled? I saw this on a show lmao I wanted opinions, I cant remember what show might have been an American horror stories episode I make my fella wait as long as I please im not letting anyone sleep with me until im good and ready… dont like it.. talk to your right hand about it, thats my opinion

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

When have I ever trolled? I saw this on a show lmao I wanted opinions, I cant remember what show might have been an American horror stories episode I make my fella wait as long as I please im not letting anyone sleep with me until im good and ready… dont like it.. talk to your right hand about it, thats my opinion

Shots fired!
Ohwait, errmm, phrasing.
Which is totally fine, and you're right to do so.
That's still a funny question though.

My opinion I guess is that if a man can't tell the relationship is dead, you can't really tell him that because he won't listen to you anyways, he has to come to that conclusion for himself.

As men, we're supposed to be forward-thinking, but we tend to fall short of that at the pointe of emotionalism, due to that whole not being taught how to navigate our feelings thing that we mostly experience.

Which is why it is imperative for men to learn to navigate themselves:
If you can't navigate yourself as a man, you damn sure aren't going to be able to navigate a woman.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Shots fired!
Ohwait, errmm, phrasing.
Which is totally fine, and you're right to do so.
That's still a funny question though.

My opinion I guess is that if a man can't tell the relationship is dead, you can't really tell him that because he won't listen to you anyways, he has to come to that conclusion for himself.

As men, we're supposed to be forward-thinking, but we tend to fall short of that at the pointe of emotionalism, due to that whole not being taught how to navigate our feelings thing that we mostly experience.

Which is why it is imperative for men to learn to navigate themselves:
If you can't navigate yourself as a man, you damn sure aren't going to be able to navigate a woman.

This had me on the floor laughing, my fellas reaction shocked me because he waited for the next ice age to get with me.

But he was like “of course a mans gonna get pee’d off if shes a **** with every other guy but him and I was like people think like thissss since whennnn?

but i also remember my brother breaking his hand when his ex gf moved on and slept with another guy like days later, like it crushed him because he waited so long for her and really loved her, gave up a lot to be with her and she just dumped him.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Summary is… can men that are isolated be in platonic friendships with women or is it not want they want/need?

Going to go with "not what they want/need". They want/need someone to be interested in them for real - or at the very least, good advice on how to attract someone. On the one hand it's nice of you to be thoughtful, but on the other hand, isolated men don't want charity attention that doesn't lead to anything - they want a better quality of life, an at-least normal quality of life. And like I was saying before, dating is a part of "normal". Dating a model, maybe not (although even that, it's like, why is that "better"? It's all about who you can connect with/talk to/be yourself with). But dating at all? Definitely. It's a normal life experience. On a car it would be a standard feature, not a luxury extra.

Also I think people should just be friends with who they are friends with naturally. Trying to be friends with someone out of charity, or forcing a friendship or other connection for anything other than true interest in the person, causes all sorts of problems like the ones you mentioned earlier - it hurts when one person thinks they mean something to someone, but they really don't. It also just wastes everyone's time, including your own.

I think it's best to be like work colleagues, with the guys you described. Like say hi in the halls, or stuff like that, and certainly don't join in picking on them. It's nice that you don't do that. But you have to keep in mind that they're dying to get out of hoping, and into really living. Of course they're going to be attracted to you, it's like making it seem to a prisoner that they're going to be released from jail. But when they're really not, it's crushing. It's like, the hoping and waiting is over at last, it feels like someone finally sees something in them when everyone else didn't. But when it's not it's like, more of the same old **** after all.

This is why it's important to be around like-minded people. That's why being "cool" growing up and mingling with the hot girls would have done me no good after all, because all it would do is cause me to be around people that weren't likeminded with me, that I couldn't be myself around. There's nothing really bringing us together. And I wouldn't have found anything interesting there anyway.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

This had me on the floor laughing, my fellas reaction shocked me because he waited for the next ice age to get with me.

But he was like “of course a mans gonna get pee’d off if shes a **** with every other guy but him and I was like people think like thissss since whennnn?

but i also remember my brother breaking his hand when his ex gf moved on and slept with another guy like days later, like it crushed him because he waited so long for her and really loved her, gave up a lot to be with her and she just dumped him.

"Fragile Male Ego" kind of only applies to less experienced men that didn't spend enough time after a breakup dissecting themselves first, and then applying that dissection to why that breakup occurred. We're not taught to do that, that's a personal choice. Some guys figure it out and some don't. The weird thing is that I have just as much of a mixed relationship with women as I did before and after I learned how to do this, I just handle the rollercoaster better than I used to, that's all. You go on a Loop The Loop enough times, eventually you know what to expect.

Girls kind of, seem to half hate this about me and half love this about me.
I don't overthink it, because I'm creative and my creativity is the comfort zone that always pulls me through regardless of outcomes.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate women at all, as a creative and a man that's not really in me to succumb to.
Actually contrarily I'm quite fascinated by women. Which is why it's so easy for me to get lost if I don't check and balance myself.

It's a matter of quality over quantity.
It's just that most of the time, women don't expect that, so I end up being this weird anomaly of an enigma that I don't intend to be at all.
I think that's the thing though: I'm not looking, I just Am.
And because I just Am, that strikes women as different, because MOST men are looking.

That's what I mean by like I get read wrong a lot of the time.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Going to go with "not what they want/need". On the one hand it's nice of you to be thoughtful, but on the other hand, isolated men don't want charity - they want a better quality of life, an at-least normal quality of life. And like I was saying before, dating is a part of "normal". Dating a model, maybe not (although even that, it's like, why is that "better"? It's all about who you can connect with/talk to/be yourself with). But dating at all? Definitely. It's a normal life experience. On a car it would be a standard feature, not a luxury extra.

Also I think people should just be friends with who they are friends with naturally. Trying to be friends with someone out of charity, or forcing a friendship or other connection for anything other than true interest in the person, causes all sorts of problems like the ones you mentioned earlier - it hurts when one person thinks they mean something to someone, but they really don't. It also just wastes everyone's time, including your own.

This is why it's important to be around like-minded people. That's why being "cool" growing up and mingling with the hot girls would have done me no good after all, because all it would do is cause me to be around people that weren't likeminded with me, that I couldn't be myself around. There's nothing really bringing us together. And I wouldn't have found anything interesting there anyway.

Hmm ska, I like this, interesting take. Let me pick at this i deffo agree with you on the model thing, honestly the whole dating a model thing is more a fantasy than anything else as the more attractive the mate the higher sense of self validation… I dont think it offers a better quality of relationship or anything like that, but if they manage to be the one she wants out of the millions of men lobbying for her attention that offers a confidence boost of sorts.

The concept of being friends with guys as a charity move is interesting, sometimes maybe they read it that way and wonder just how charitable I am lmao but I mean more along the lines of … I have a lot in common with these guys, im a film geek, anime junky, I like time travel and because of my dad and brother know unhealthy amounts about star trek and star wars lool I can quote scenes its like we have a genuine friendship on my side the issue is they are attracted to me extremely lonely and often ignored by other women. So my question isnt should I be friends with guys out of pity but should I even be genuine friends with lonely guys if maybe thats not exactly what they need, they need a girlfriend and friendships confuse them?

 

[Xpendable]

I'd say is not very practical to befriend a lonely guy. Being one myself is hard not to hope for something else when your options are reduced. I don't think friendships are confusing to most men, just that there aren't really any guidelines to what could or couldn't become a relationship later on. after all, relationships start as friendship pretty often, and we men don't completely understand what a girl sees in a friend to want to date him instead of another friend in any given time.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'd say is not very practical to befriend a lonely guy. Being one myself is hard not to hope for something else when your options are reduced. I don't think friendships are confusing to most men, just that there aren't really any guidelines to what could or couldn't become a relationship later on. after all, relationships start as friendship pretty often, and we men don't completely understand what a girl sees in a friend to want to date him instead of another friend in any given time.

This is the most… mind blowing thing I’ve read I’ve never dated an ex friend my friend zone is pretty strict but so many girls do that maybe it can give false hope

 

[ardour]

I'd say is not very practical to befriend a lonely guy. Being one myself is hard not to hope for something else when your options are reduced.

That sums it up.

If I weren't an oldcel now I'd be in a similar situation, fantasizing and falling for any average looking woman who gave me friendly attention, particularly if she were single.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Kinda feel similar. Having been "friendzoned" in the past - which made me feel like such a ******* loser, and like some kind of non-person - and also just intimidated by some women I've liked in terms of being on their level, I'm once bitten twice shy.

I'm extremely worried about not coming off as good enough, interesting enough, respectable enough, fun enough, whatever it is that makes someone feel like being more than friends/casual acquaintainces with you -
especially if the woman in question is someone I find interesting.

I'm in constant fear that I just won't be able to come up with interesting enough ideas, abilities, or an interesting enough lifestyle to attract anyone else into it. I'm afraid that I won't even get good enough thoughts to share, like my story arc/character arc just won't be compelling enough for anyone I want to connect with, to want to connect with me.

 

[Xpendable]

This is the most… mind blowing thing I’ve read I’ve never dated an ex friend my friend zone is pretty strict but so many girls do that maybe it can give false hope

Rare to hear a woman admitting the friendzone, most don't even think it exist

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That sums it up.

If I weren't an oldcel now I'd be in a similar situation, fantasizing and falling for any average looking woman who gave me friendly attention, particularly if she were single.

Thats right, keep your standards Ardour! That sounds like an awful existence (just falling for everyone) to be honest…. I feel like even at feeling her ugliest most women are aware their looks are not so much an issue for the hottest guy… so they still demand higher or stay alone, I dont see why men cant do the same. I can think of an ugly cow right now that would feel like a supermodel just because she could sleep with my fella but thats a story for another day .

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Kinda feel similar. Having been "friendzoned" in the past - which made me feel like such a ******* loser, and like some kind of non-person - and also just intimidated by some women I've liked in terms of being on their level, I'm once bitten twice shy.

I'm extremely worried about not coming off as good enough, interesting enough, respectable enough, fun enough, whatever it is that makes someone feel like being more than friends/casual acquaintainces with you -
especially if the woman in question is someone I find interesting.

I'm in constant fear that I just won't be able to come up with interesting enough ideas, abilities, or an interesting enough lifestyle to attract anyone else into it. I'm afraid that I won't even get good enough thoughts to share, like my story arc/character arc just won't be compelling enough for anyone I want to connect with, to want to connect with me.

Im having visions of my brother rehearsing what to say to his girlfriend, ahh this is awful that being friends with a guy could cause him to feel like that. You’re good enough for anyone Ska