Questions for the Women

[Xpendable]

So, it all comes to gender roles?

 

[Serenia]

So, it all comes to gender roles?

I wouldn't say so no. Each 'coupling' is a unique situation.

In my case I would never ask a man out, part low self esteem and part traditional values that come from my family.

 

[Xpendable]

I wouldn't say so no. Each 'coupling' is a unique situation.

In my case I would never ask a man out, part low self esteem and part traditional values that come from my family.

Traditional values aren't unique among coupling. I highly doubt every couple had a unique way to hook up.

 

[Serenia]

I wouldn't say so no. Each 'coupling' is a unique situation.

In my case I would never ask a man out, part low self esteem and part traditional values that come from my family.

Traditional values aren't unique among coupling. I highly doubt every couple had a unique way to hook up.

Couplings are unique because they involve two different people, each person has unique personalities, unique enviroments and outside factors such as families, jobs, etc etc etc.

The traditional values I talk about are down to the way my Parents taught me about relationships that they grew up with. Each 'unique' person has their own traditions that they CHOOSE to follow.

At the end of the day you ask or you don't ask, male or female, your choice. But if you don't ask you don't get. In my case I was happy with that, and lucky that I have been asked out by men.

 

[ladyforsaken]

At the end of the day you ask or you don't ask, male or female, your choice. But if you don't ask you don't get. In my case I was happy with that, and lucky that I have been asked out by men.

+1

 

[Xpendable]

Couplings are unique because they involve two different people, each person has unique personalities, unique enviroments and outside factors such as families, jobs, etc etc etc

Uniqueness has a limit. No one is completely different from each other.

Each 'unique' person has their own traditions that they CHOOSE to follow.

And then there's cultural tradition. No person is an island.

I don't believe in absolute uniqueness.

 

[Serenia]

Couplings are unique because they involve two different people, each person has unique personalities, unique enviroments and outside factors such as families, jobs, etc etc etc

Uniqueness has a limit. No one is completely different from each other.

Each 'unique' person has their own traditions that they CHOOSE to follow.

And then there's cultural tradition. No person is an island.

I don't believe in absolute uniqueness.

Good for you. I do.

 

[BadGuy]

Is chivalry dead , uncommon , unwanted or even sexist or does it matter ?
Whats your opinion and going on a limb asking the ladies to share their age with their opinion

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I don't think it really matters to me. But I would like to see your sword if you have one.

 

[Aisha]

I'm quite sure that the idea of chivalry at this point in time holds different meanings to different people. It's as dead as one believes it to be.
The individual principles or virtues it represents certainly aren't dead. Both sexes appreciate those values. Courtesy, generosity and so on and so forth.. they will always be of merit.

 

[Serenia]

I'm quite sure that the idea of chivalry at this point in time holds different meanings to different people. It's as dead as one believes it to be.
The individual principles or virtues it represents certainly aren't dead. Both sexes appreciate those values. Courtesy, generosity and so on and so forth.. they will always be of merit.

^ This

 

[mrairdrie]

Well, mrairdrie, there are loads of threads here devoted to your topic. But since you're asking, it might be helpful to provide us with some more details. Have you recently made a move on someone? What happened?

-Teresa

Yes, i try all the time.

Usually I get a response akin to "No I'm good" or they side step the response entirely, the last woman I asked out told me I look really young like a little kid no offence.

I always feel that if you try to get to know the women first because you're interested to know about them, it would help. I don't find it flattering when men just suddenly ask me out... feels seems suspicious to me. Not saying that this was what you did, but just saying.

Okay, so how am I supposed to get to know and become friends with a woman without asking for contact info and actually going out and doing stuff with them? Isn't that the point of dating?

Follow up question, if after an initial conversation I say, lets meet again and go for coffee sometime or whatever, why would a guy asking you out make you feel suspicious? Can you define what you find suspicious about someone showing interest in you?

 

[Triple Bogey]

So, it all comes to gender roles?

I wouldn't say so no. Each 'coupling' is a unique situation.

In my case I would never ask a man out, part low self esteem and part traditional values that come from my family.

I've seen it though, lots of times.
And many women I've talked to have said they 'went after' their boyfriends. They initiated the contact. They did the chatting up.

---

Does asking a woman out actually ever work ?

How many millions if not billions of couples there are there in the world, if you take off the 'arrangements' somebody has asked somebody out, or made the move.

So I would say yes it does work.

What I have witnessed myself, the woman usually asks the guy out or gets a friend too. I haven't seen many 'the guy likes a girl, asks her out and she says 'yes' situations. Doesn't seem to happen.
That's how couples get together. Mostly now it seems to be online. I mean how many times does a guy come on here saying he likes a girl and he is wondering about asking her out. And everybody says 'ask her out'
So he does and he gets knocked back. Everytime that happens. Every single time !
So that's why I was saying does it work. The three women I have been out with, two were online and the other was a mutual friend. Loads of situations where I liked somebody. It's never worked that way. Doesn't matter what you say, how much you talk to them, never works EVER. A waste of time ! I wish I could go back in time when I was 20 and tell myself that.

Thats fair enough. That is what you have seen. What I have seen and experienced. I have never asked a guy out. They have always asked me. I have only said no once. All my friends it was the guy who did the chasing and asking. My parents the same. I think it boils down to what different people have experienced. Even in online dating, someone is sending the first message, someone is making the move to meet up in person.

Like I said I have been asked out on a date this week, and was really pleased he asked me.

People are going to be very different all around the world.
What happens where I come from is going to be alien to other people.
I think that's why we say different things on here. We are all different.


I have asked a fair number of women out on dates. Not many were nice about it. None of them said 'yes'. All kinds of honeysuckle happened after. And I was always polite about it respecting the ladies feelings.

---

I don't believe if I had gone mad asking every woman out who I came across,
I wouldn't have had more relationships. I would have got into trouble. I would have got a reputation as a 'stalker', 'sex pest' or 'trouble'
For whatever reason I am in a group of people who aren't allowed to peruse people of the opposite sex.

 

[BadGuy]

I don't think it really matters to me. But I would like to see your sword if you have one.

I didnt think it was that type of forum ROFL
I risk being banned if I make any more jokes LOL

I'm quite sure that the idea of chivalry at this point in time holds different meanings to different people. It's as dead as one believes it to be.
The individual principles or virtues it represents certainly aren't dead. Both sexes appreciate those values. Courtesy, generosity and so on and so forth.. they will always be of merit.

^ This

I think the best way to describe is its the way I was raised

I often notice most women kind of have a somewhat surprised reaction to a stranger holding a shop door or allowing them to go first , especially if their older or less attractive
I also notice most younger woman usually dont even acknowledge it being done but thats not what its about for me

 

[ardour]

I wouldn't say so no. Each 'coupling' is a unique situation.

In my case I would never ask a man out, part low self esteem and part traditional values that come from my family.

You choose what values to buy into. 'Who should ask' isn't really part of a value system anyway, it's a cultural norm.

At the end of the day you ask or you don't ask, male or female, your choice. But if you don't ask you don't get. In my case I was happy with that, and lucky that I have been asked out by men.

...didn't ask in the knowledge that men were in all likelihood going to. Easy to hand out advice you don't have to follow.

 

[ladyforsaken]

At the end of the day you ask or you don't ask, male or female, your choice. But if you don't ask you don't get. In my case I was happy with that, and lucky that I have been asked out by men.

...didn't ask in the knowledge that men were in all likelihood going to. Easy to hand out advice you don't have to follow.

Well, anything said is always easier than doing them. I'm sure Serenia is well aware that she didn't have to follow that advice she gave, but she chose not to follow that advice. It's really up to an individual how far they would go in this matter. I still feel like that advice is applicable, if you really want something, you gotta work for it.. in this case, you ask. It goes for both men and women. Though society probably tells women that it's unlady-like to ask a man out. I think that's just bullshit.

 

[Serenia]

I wouldn't say so no. Each 'coupling' is a unique situation.

In my case I would never ask a man out, part low self esteem and part traditional values that come from my family.

You choose what values to buy into. 'Who should ask' isn't really part of a value system anyway, it's a cultural norm.

At the end of the day you ask or you don't ask, male or female, your choice. But if you don't ask you don't get. In my case I was happy with that, and lucky that I have been asked out by men.

...didn't ask in the knowledge that men were in all likelihood going to. Easy to hand out advice you don't

I believe, the values I have CHOSEN, come from my Parents teaching me of how to treat people and relationships growing up, and part of that is how to behave with others, including approaching relationships and men.

I don't ask in asking a guy out, but I ask other things and it has gotten me alot of happiness.

Look I am going no further with this, it doesn't matter what I say, you will pick on it and pull it apart.

 

[Xpendable]

Men have to ask more. Period.

 

[user 115627]

As long as they aren't ugly...

...about it. In case they get rejected. Gotcha.

 

[TheRealCallie]

As long as they aren't ugly...

...about it. In case they get rejected. Gotcha.

Will you go out with me?