Questions for the Women

[Triple Bogey]

As long as they aren't ugly...

...about it. In case they get rejected. Gotcha.

I hope that's a joke

 

[TheRealCallie]

As long as they aren't ugly...

...about it. In case they get rejected. Gotcha.

I hope that's a joke

read the fine print. lol

 

[Triple Bogey]

As long as they aren't ugly...

...about it. In case they get rejected. Gotcha.

I hope that's a joke

read the fine print. lol

hang on, let me get my glasses !
Oh yes very good !

---

I asked this woman out once, I walked up and said -' Look I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years, all the nice ones have turned me down. I'm getting desperate.
And you look like you don't get asked out much so how about it ?

She said 'no' - I couldn't believe it !

 

[Solivagant]

Beards?

Not really my preference, but not a deal breaker provided it's neat and trim.

^ Same. I don't like beards, I prefer clean-shaven.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Thing is I don't see working as necessarily all about self-fulfillment though, rather self-sufficiency. If you don't support yourself women are going to look down on you no matter what.

Edit: this isn't meant as a put-down.

It's okay, I didn't take it as a put-down. I do understand how a woman probably wouldn't find an unemployed guy too appealing. If you don't have money to go places and do things, then you probably won't have much to talk about or show for yourself. You also can't go places and do things and show her a good time. And it makes the guy look like a victim instead of a winner. It's a little bit of a harsh way to judge someone, but still understandable.

---

Also, slightly different question - does a guy have to be a risk-taker in order to be attractive?

What I would find attractive is someone who has drive. Someone who gets themselves up everyday, and makes it through their life, even if just one step at a time. Someone who continues to do everything they can to take that step forward. Because that is where I am at in my own life right now. A person very much has to match the level that I am on.

Interesting. It does make sense, because I find dynamic people interesting myself. It makes me wonder if there is any correlation between my lifelong lack of drive, and my persistent lack of a girlfriend. I've never had much drive because I never felt like I could be good at anything, because I never felt gifted or talented. I suppose this has become sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy and I wonder how much differently things had turned out had I thought differently about the nature of abilities.

---

I've got a couple questions.

....

Can a woman be excited by a guy who isn't a smart-ass?

Also, slightly different question - does a guy have to be a risk-taker in order to be attractive?

There's prob lots of women who like the witty *******, the adventurer etc, but there is lots of women who appreciate the sweet guy. If it takes changing who you really are it's not worth it. There's someone out there for you and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You might find a gf and fall in love, but falling in love is like flipping a coin. One could be seeing the sun and enjoying life around you, and the other is face down in dirt. If you're going to find love, let it be genuine and have a girl love you for who you are.

I've read articles where they say what men want and that ain't close to me but I stay true to me. Love it or leave it. Lol

Well, I'd like to be more adventurous and exciting, but still the nice, friendly, sweet guy I was raised to be and have always been. I've just never fit in with the masculine culture of just not caring about anything, of acting like you are just too cool for the world. I like being into stuff, I like being excited and enthusiastic about things.

I think it will take some changing myself, because I know I need to self-improve a little bit just to be happy with myself. There are some things I like about myself, some things I'd like to stop doing, and other things I'd like to add. I do feel like I have to change myself a little bit, I do have to work on my faults and increase my good features.

I may not like it, but I accept that most people are going to swear more, be more sexual, and be more into drinking, smoking, and similar things than me because it's the modern world. I'm willing to overlook some of that because they may have other traits that I enjoy which are more important to me. And even when it comes to the women I've wanted to date, I also realize that no one is going to have everything I want, but I have met some girls who I would have been very glad to date anyway because they had enough of what I wanted that I feel their presence would have added to my life. I feel we could have had fun together.

One of my ex's, the one who I consider my soul mate who was the love of my life had no job when I met him, no car and he was fat. Haha but he was the most sweet and genuine person, he had me at hello. Being sweet and kind in this generation is such a rare quality, so many nasty, sarcastic, rude, pompous ******** running around. It's a breath of fresh air when someone is genuinely kind, it really is, and you don't need a job to find love. Maybe there are lots of women who won't date a guy without out a job, but why put off finding a girl because you don't have a job? Might aswell keep the options open, because some girls might not care.

"Being sweet and kind in this generation is such a rare quality, so many nasty, sarcastic, rude, pompous ******** running around. It's a breath of fresh air when someone is genuinely kind"

I agree with you so much, lonelypanda. That's why I try to be the way I want to be, because I wish there were more people who still thought this way instead of all the sarcastic, rude, jaded people out there. And the story of you and the guy you described sounded really sweet.

I know I have to get a job so I can advance up to standard, but I know that may take a while and I hope I can be interesting in the meanwhile because I think I should keep talking to girls and getting to know them while I'm in the process of building myself up. I know I don't have any more time to just sit and wait.

---

Can a woman be excited by a guy who isn't a smart-ass?

Whatever the definition of smart-ass is, yes it is possible for a woman to be excited by someone who isn't one. An example, my new colleague. Her husband is a really humble, down to earth guy who doesn't behave like one, however the definition is. She gets excited just talking to me about him. Plus it's not like they were just married either.

Also, slightly different question - does a guy have to be a risk-taker in order to be attractive?

No, he doesn't have to be. They get attention from certain types of women who notices and gets attracted to such people. Personally, that's not what attracts me to a guy.

And thank you too, LadyForsaken. I'm glad you feel like cockiness and flashiness is not the only way a guy can get a girl's attention. It gives me more confidence that maybe I can do this without changing myself too much, after all.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Interesting. It does make sense, because I find dynamic people interesting myself. It makes me wonder if there is any correlation between my lifelong lack of drive, and my persistent lack of a girlfriend. I've never had much drive because I never felt like I could be good at anything, because I never felt gifted or talented. I suppose this has become sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy and I wonder how much differently things had turned out had I thought differently about the nature of abilities.

I guess my thinking is, you don't have to be good at anything to find drive. You will find out what you are good at, by getting yourself out there to find it. Trust me, I know it is not easy. A year and a half ago, I couldn't even think of good things to write on a resume. But as I work, I add to it. That way, if I lose my job or something and fall into a depression, it's done anyways. (sorry off topic)

 

[Nicolelt]

Beards?

Not really my preference, but not a deal breaker provided it's neat and trim.

^ Same. I don't like beards, I prefer clean-shaven.

AHHHHH I missed the a beards question.

I love beards...love...love...love...love...love....LOVE THEM!!!

Proceed to you current questions.

 

[ardour]

The ironic beard thing won’t go away. **** hipsters. Like so many current fads it only looks good if you’re already attractive, have the right facial structure, wear the right clothes. Otherwise you just look dirty and unkempt.

 

[Sci-Fi]

The ironic beard thing won’t go away. **** hipsters. Like so many current fads it only looks good if you’re already attractive, have the right facial structure, wear the right clothes. Otherwise you just look dirty and unkempt.

And here comes the only works if you are attractive crap. Give it a rest. Even these so called attractive people can have bad beards, it doesn't work for all "attractive" people either. There are guys who look better with beards than without. So your remark is invalid. You know what is really unattractive, constant negative remarks, constant self loathing, constant negative self worth and constant reinforcement of incorrect negative stereotypes.

 

[ladyforsaken]

And thank you too, LadyForsaken. I'm glad you feel like cockiness and flashiness is not the only way a guy can get a girl's attention. It gives me more confidence that maybe I can do this without changing myself too much, after all.

Just be yourself, my dear friend. Trust me, the way you are is as interesting, funny and kind as any one else can be to a lot of people. Gotta believe in yourself too, you know.

Even these so called attractive people can have bad beards, it doesn't work for all "attractive" people either. There are guys who look better with beards than without.

True that.

 

[TheSkaFish]

And thank you too, LadyForsaken. I'm glad you feel like cockiness and flashiness is not the only way a guy can get a girl's attention. It gives me more confidence that maybe I can do this without changing myself too much, after all.

Just be yourself, my dear friend. Trust me, the way you are is as interesting, funny and kind as any one else can be to a lot of people. Gotta believe in yourself too, you know.

Awe, thanks Lady. I've been doubting myself and my attractiveness a lot for a while now. Like I've said in other threads, I've never felt gifted or talented or special and this extends to relationships as well. I know I have some things to work on.

But I'm glad you feel like I've got something going for me. Thank you for reminding me of that. It gives me a much-needed confidence boost. I can always count on you to say something to cheer me up

 

[ladyforsaken]

^

 

[BadGuy]

Ladies
If you are intimately involved with a man and every time your togetter you always orgasm
If everything is there other than his orgasm and he says he is completely fine with not ...your pleasure brings him pleasure
Now what

 

[kamya]

I sense a trick question.

 

[BadGuy]

Not a trick question. ... just looking for the women's opinion

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

If my pleasure is his pleasure, he better orgasm.

 

[BadGuy]

If my pleasure is his pleasure, he better orgasm.

But if he doesn't ...and he is OK with that ?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

If my pleasure is his pleasure, he better orgasm.

But if he doesn't ...and he is OK with that ?

I could live with it. I would hope he would be ok getting the same from me, because I absolutely cannot focus 100% on my pleasure.

 

[BadGuy]

See that's where the problem is ...she starts feeling that there is something wrong with her ...then I get axiety because I feel I am hurting her

 

[TheRealCallie]

I would feel bad and want to know why. I would also likely keep trying new things to see if I could make it happen.