Questions for the Women

[TheRealCallie]

People have different interpretations of what a ********* is....

 

[user 139760]

People have different interpretations of what a ********* is....

At least as many interpretations of it as there are people on Earth ;-)
But I like to think it's more accurate to look at people and say "People are X or Y" rather than say "Men are X or Y" or "Women are X or Y".
Everything varies by individual but does it REALLY vary by sex? I don't think so.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Everything varies by individual but does it REALLY vary by sex? I don't think so.

I guess that depends on whether you are owning your own honeysuckle or if you are making excuses and trying to blame others.  I think that, in itself, is what determines whether you succeed or fail in whatever you are doing, be it dating or career or just life in general.

 

[user 139760]

Everything varies by individual but does it REALLY vary by sex? I don't think so.

I guess that depends on whether you are owning your own honeysuckle or if you are making excuses and trying to blame others.  I think that, in itself, is what determines whether you succeed or fail in whatever you are doing, be it dating or career or just life in general.

Of course agreed, but does that vary BECAUSE you're a woman or a man? No, both go through the same thing, no matter what their sexes are, winners or losers, quitters or sinners, etc.
I always thought the man/woman trope is something best left in the 50's. Back then, we were too stupid to know how similar we were and so it was okay to say "Oh, woman are so..." or "You men are...". But in 2018? When we know so much and have experienced so much socially on either sex? I think it's a great mistakes.
For example, the biggest douchebags I know are politicians. 30 years ago it was almost exclusively men. Now it's almost 40% women. Has it changed anything? Nope. Still a bunch of costume wearing hypocrites, thieves, criminals and jerkwads. Irregardless of sex.
For example, Nathalie Normandeau, ex financial minister of Quebec, is on trial for corruption, fraud, misuse of governement funds and etc, having possibly financed the mob and is incurring criminal charges for up to 20 years in jail. Exactly the same as many many MANY other politicians, a few of them on trial, most of them laughing all the way to the bank for not having been caught (the bastards). Fact she's a woman doesn't change the fact she's a ******. Which leads me to conclude it always varies by individual, not by bodyparts, you know?

 

[DarkSelene]

Morality, conduct, principles and other markers that could potentially define someone as a ********* don't, anyone can be a *********, but a lot of things vary by sex.
The thing is, there are a lot of times where other people are to blame for shitty things that happen to you, and having a positive attitude towards life doesn't prevent you from getting taken advantage, doesn't prevent you from failing... This argument is uninspired. There are a lot of reasons why people should hate their ******* lives and the cards they've been dealt, and having those feelings also won't prevent you from getting somewhere either -- even bitterness can turn into fuel, hell, most of the times the biggest reason why one works way harder to achieve whatever they want comes from the frustration of not getting it sooner.

This thread should go back on track

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't really think this thread has a track. You could ask a woman ANYTHING, so I guess it's fair game and everything is on topic, as long as it originated by asking women a question.

 

[DarkSelene]

Nah, I had too long of a convo here, that's what I meant.

 

[user 139760]

I got a question for a woman as well.
In context of today's society, you often see job parity for women as being a major topic, in the sense that you see companies or industries proudly writing things like "We have 60% of our employees who are women". Which, you know, neeto, right? One less often discussed topic is the matter of quotas. I can't speak for all organisations in the world, but some do have quotas of women or ethnic minorities they need to hire over other people. Some blatantly state so (and sometimes get criticized for it, because prejudism is prejudism, is the argument.
So, the question is, how would YOU feel if you were hired in a position on the basis of quotas, not necessarily because of your talent or abilities? This is a discussion I often have with some family members (among them my cousin, who would simply dump her job there if she learned as much).

So, if you had knowledge that you were hired on the basis of a quota, would you be happy, angry, what would you do and how would you feel?

 

[user 115627]

Rereading the latest pages, I've found that the best way to skirt the charges of whining and/or entitlement is to just not talk about these matters or your observations of even the most subtle behavioral variances. It works wonders, at least to a degree. The other part is living with the very real possibility that the problem lies within your own idiosyncrasy that can only ever find limited acceptance even by others who live on the fringe. In contrast to my previous belief, there are even more differences within outsiders than between them and "regular folks". So learn to live for yourself, ignore romance or go out there and willingly spend more energy on it than a more average person. Personally I never had that energy. And if you had every one of your previous choices result in tragedy so far...well, that just makes things a tad more bitter.

That's all I really have to say. I have no questions to which I haven't heard the answers already.

 

[ardour]

Rereading the latest pages, I've found that the best way to skirt the charges of whining and/or entitlement is to just not talk about these matters or your observations of even the most subtle behavioral variances. It works wonders, at least to a degree. The other part is living with the very real possibility that the problem lies within your own idiosyncrasy that can only ever find limited acceptance even by others who live on the fringe. In contrast to my previous belief, there are even more differences within outsiders than between them and "regular folks". So learn to live for yourself, ignore romance or go out there and willingly spend more energy on it than a more average person. Personally I never had that energy. And if you had every one of your previous choices result in tragedy so far...well, that just makes things a tad more bitter.

That's all I really have to say. I have no questions to which I haven't heard the answers already.

It's not hard to see a pattern of women wanting stoic, self-centred men. Just look at the majority of middle-aged couples. 

Developing personality characteristics that are just about counter to everything you are would indeed involve huge effort. I can’t muster it either. In the end it could all be for nothing because there’s likely to always be better options available what with online dating.

 

[PurpleStar]

So, if you had knowledge that you were hired on the basis of a quota, would you be happy, angry, what would you do and how would you feel?

I think I'd be a little irritated. I'd rather hope someone would hire me for my skills, knowledge, and abilities..... Not because of my gender.

 

[kamya]

So, if you had knowledge that you were hired on the basis of a quota, would you be happy, angry, what would you do and how would you feel?

I think I'd be a little irritated. I'd rather hope someone would hire me for my skills, knowledge, and abilities..... Not because of my gender.

Would you give up your job?

 

[user 139760]

Rereading the latest pages, I've found that the best way to skirt the charges of whining and/or entitlement is to just not talk about these matters or your observations of even the most subtle behavioral variances. It works wonders, at least to a degree. The other part is living with the very real possibility that the problem lies within your own idiosyncrasy that can only ever find limited acceptance even by others who live on the fringe. In contrast to my previous belief, there are even more differences within outsiders than between them and "regular folks". So learn to live for yourself, ignore romance or go out there and willingly spend more energy on it than a more average person. Personally I never had that energy. And if you had every one of your previous choices result in tragedy so far...well, that just makes things a tad more bitter.

That's all I really have to say. I have no questions to which I haven't heard the answers already.

I have a very intellectual and very scientific response to that;
"After 5 beers, we're all the same" ;-)
Maybe you're not supposed to delve too deeply in the intellectuality of romantic relationships. Maybe it's counterproductive to the whole process. I think if you just have a beer and talk to people, you got 50% of it done already.
You know, for what it's worth lol.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I got a question for a woman as well.
In context of today's society, you often see job parity for women as being a major topic, in the sense that you see companies or industries proudly writing things like "We have 60% of our employees who are women". Which, you know, neeto, right? One less often discussed topic is the matter of quotas. I can't speak for all organisations in the world, but some do have quotas of women or ethnic minorities they need to hire over other people. Some blatantly state so (and sometimes get criticized for it, because prejudism is prejudism, is the argument.
So, the question is, how would YOU feel if you were hired in a position on the basis of quotas, not necessarily because of your talent or abilities? This is a discussion I often have with some family members (among them my cousin, who would simply dump her job there if she learned as much).

So, if you had knowledge that you were hired on the basis of a quota, would you be happy, angry, what would you do and how would you feel?

I'd be a little irritated, too, because that's a ridiculous basis to be hired on. But on the flip side, I'd also be grateful because I'd be happy to have a job. The latter probably only because I am currently looking. It would be more irksome to me to be hired for being a woman than to not be hired because of it.

 

[user 139760]

I'd be a little irritated, too, because that's a ridiculous basis to be hired on. But on the flip side, I'd also be grateful because I'd be happy to have a job. The latter probably only because I am currently looking. It would be more irksome to me to be hired for being a woman than to not be hired because of it.

Interesting. I actually debated that point at one time. Personally, were I a woman and would I find out that I was hired because of it, I would be PISSED...but I doubt I'd quit my job over it. Why? Everyone's gotta eat, right?
Say it wasn't a concern, probably would quit, but I assume for like 95% of the population, money is needed.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wouldn't be angry, perhaps a little annoyed. A job is a job, after all. However, I would make **** sure I did a better job than the men.

---

I have a question, though it's not really directed at women only.

I keep seeing people looking for advice and then when they get advice they claim "you couldn't possibly understand because you have had relationships." On one hand, I kind of understand that line of thinking, but on the other, it's nonsensical. Wouldn't you rather have get advice from someone who HAS had relationships, instead of people who are in the same position as you are and therefore don't really know any more than you do?

 

[user 139760]

I wouldn't be angry, perhaps a little annoyed.  A job is a job, after all.  However, I would make **** sure I did a better job than the men.  

---

I have a question, though it's not really directed at women only.  

I keep seeing people looking for advice and then when they get advice they claim "you couldn't possibly understand because you have had relationships." On one hand, I kind of understand that line of thinking, but on the other, it's nonsensical. Wouldn't you rather have get advice from someone who HAS had relationships, instead of people who are in the same position as you are and therefore don't really know any more than you do?

---

That's funny. I don't believe I've EVER heard anyone say that to me before, quite the opposite actually.
That happens?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wouldn't be angry, perhaps a little annoyed.  A job is a job, after all.  However, I would make **** sure I did a better job than the men.  

---

I have a question, though it's not really directed at women only.  

I keep seeing people looking for advice and then when they get advice they claim "you couldn't possibly understand because you have had relationships." On one hand, I kind of understand that line of thinking, but on the other, it's nonsensical. Wouldn't you rather have get advice from someone who HAS had relationships, instead of people who are in the same position as you are and therefore don't really know any more than you do?

---

That's funny. I don't believe I've EVER heard anyone say that to me before, quite the opposite actually.
That happens?

---

Happens here quite often, look around, you'll find it.

 

[athelas88]

I wouldn't be angry, perhaps a little annoyed. A job is a job, after all. However, I would make **** sure I did a better job than the men.

---

I have a question, though it's not really directed at women only.

I keep seeing people looking for advice and then when they get advice they claim "you couldn't possibly understand because you have had relationships." On one hand, I kind of understand that line of thinking, but on the other, it's nonsensical. Wouldn't you rather have get advice from someone who HAS had relationships, instead of people who are in the same position as you are and therefore don't really know any more than you do?

---

Hmm...if it comes to the subject of dating and relationship I would go with the advice of someone who has had experience. Though I'll just take what I think is applicable to my situation and discard the rest.

 

[user 115627]

I have a very intellectual and very scientific response to that;
"After 5 beers, we're all the same" ;-)
Maybe you're not supposed to delve too deeply in the intellectuality of romantic relationships. Maybe it's counterproductive to the whole process. I think if you just have a beer and talk to people, you got 50% of it done already.
You know, for what it's worth lol.

Alcohol makes me more loose as it does with many of us. To the point that I can have a conversation with people more easily - excluding the initiation of said conversation. But from my experience I can also tell you that alcohol does not turn me into a more accessible person. I become even more philosophical and conscious of my own thoughts.

I have a question, though it's not really directed at women only.  

I keep seeing people looking for advice and then when they get advice they claim "you couldn't possibly understand because you have had relationships." On one hand, I kind of understand that line of thinking, but on the other, it's nonsensical. Wouldn't you rather have get advice from someone who HAS had relationships, instead of people who are in the same position as you are and therefore don't really know any more than you do?

That's funny. I don't believe I've EVER heard anyone say that to me before, quite the opposite actually.
That happens?

Happens here quite often, look around, you'll find it.

I have a "hot take" on that to offer. Or maybe just a mediation. Yes, advice from somebody who has had relationships is preferable under the condition that they come from a somewhat similar background, having maneuvered their way out of what is perceived as the zone of undesirability. People who feel they're on the fringe and who never had mutual love at the age of 25+ won't buy into the story of some random person who had the majority of typical puberty experiences like hand-holding, first kiss, teenage love up to a stable long-lasting relationship in their early 20s. The cherry on top is usually a statement like "Be glad you didn't experience any of that, it's painful blah-di-blah". That's irrelevant, to them the spared pain is no substitute for the lacking experience of validation instead of continuous rejection and ignorance.