Questions for the Women

[user 164061]

When i go for a walk in the afternoon (it's about 40 minutes i am out for) i am still being stared at by women and i'd love to know why that is? As i am fully clothed, not got honeysuckle on my face and i am not walking funny . I'd like to ask them why, but i feel weird approaching them even though they are staring at me.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

When i go for a walk in the afternoon (it's about 40 minutes i am out for) i am still being stared at by women and i'd love to know why that is? As i am fully clothed, not got honeysuckle on my face and i am not walking funny . I'd like to ask them why, but i feel weird approaching them even though they are staring at me.

Probably just hot

 

[user 164061]

Probably just hot

Something else is going on that mirrors cannot spot

 

[ardour]

My guess is you're looking at them. Or they're paranoid about safety, particularly in areas like parks, or at night.

 

[Finished]

When i go for a walk in the afternoon (it's about 40 minutes i am out for) i am still being stared at by women and i'd love to know why that is? As i am fully clothed, not got honeysuckle on my face and i am not walking funny . I'd like to ask them why, but i feel weird approaching them even though they are staring at me.

Maybe you don't realize something is following you.

 

[user 164061]

Maybe you don't realize something is following you.

These women must see dead people like that film warned us all about

 

[user 139760]

When i go for a walk in the afternoon (it's about 40 minutes i am out for) i am still being stared at by women and i'd love to know why that is? As i am fully clothed, not got honeysuckle on my face and i am not walking funny . I'd like to ask them why, but i feel weird approaching them even though they are staring at me.

I get that often as well. Either because I look like a psychopath, or because they're picturing me naked. I assume it's a healthy mixture of both.
Enjoy it while it lasts lol.

 

[user 164061]

I get that often as well. Either because I look like a psychopath, or because they're picturing me naked. I assume it's a healthy mixture of both.
Enjoy it while it lasts lol.

I'll definitely do that. As I check before I leave the house that I have nothing hanging on my face or out of my nose. No birds have honeysuckle on my head so I'm not sure what it's all about

 

[user 164061]

My guess is you're looking at them. Or they're paranoid about safety, particularly in areas like parks, or at night.

Actually, when I'm crossing roads etc and I've gone past I see them staring at me. At night if I see a woman I don't even look at them, I just make sure I won't fall over my own 2 feet and break my face. I'll actively cross the road to avoid them as well, so they feel safe. Maybe I just look funky to them

 

[Lonely girl 28]

Maybe they're wondering if you're available?

 

[Claudia1794]

Why would a guy get upset because you try to pay him back for food that you asked him to bring? It seems silly to me. I might could understand if he brought me lunch because he did it on his own but I asked him to stop what he was doing and go get me food. He gets here and I try to pay him back and he got all in his feelings about it. This is not the first time he has been weird about me paying for myself. I’m usuallly pretty good about reading people but thus guy is confusing me. Maybe I’m just really out of practice with the opposite sex or he is just so different from anyone I’ve experienced? I’ve tried explaining that since we aren’t together that I have no expectations of him and that bothered him as well. It’s just bizarre or is it me?

 

[Rohini]

Why would a guy get upset because you try to pay him back for food that you asked him to bring? It seems silly to me. I might could understand if he brought me lunch because he did it on his own but I asked him to stop what he was doing and go get me food. He gets here and I try to pay him back and he got all in his feelings about it. This is not the first time he has been weird about me paying for myself. I’m usuallly pretty good about reading people but thus guy is confusing me. Maybe I’m just really out of practice with the opposite sex or he is just so different from anyone I’ve experienced? I’ve tried explaining that since we aren’t together that I have no expectations of him and that bothered him as well. It’s just bizarre or is it me?

He sounds like he is just being nice/polite about it. Some people are like that, when you ask them for a favor. If he was that insistent on you not paying him then I'd just let him have this one.. but I would probably buy him food out of nowhere one day just as a way to show my appreciation - doesn't mean I wanna bang him, it just means I'd be paying back the nice gesture.

Sounds like a nice enough guy though, something I'm not used to reading on here lol

 

[Claudia1794]

He sounds like he is just being nice/polite about it. Some people are like that, when you ask them for a favor. If he was that insistent on you not paying him then I'd just let him have this one.. but I would probably buy him food out of nowhere one day just as a way to show my appreciation - doesn't mean I wanna bang him, it just means I'd be paying back the nice gesture.

Sounds like a nice enough guy though, something I'm not used to reading on here lol

I let him have this one and several other times also. That’s the thing letting him have his way because he gets a little silly when I don’t.
No, he is a nice guy but the money thing is strange. Anyway, yeah I had already decided I was gonna invite him somewhere and me pay because I did the asking.

 

[Adamcastro86]

Hello ladies I hope I am in the right area.

I am a man under the age of 40 years old. I am going to write something very lengthy so I want to say sorry in advanced. I will ask the question in a separate paragraph after the background. I don’t no know where else to turn but I am new here and joined the forum today.

Background: I was forced to retire before I was 30. I have schitzophrenia, but by the grace of God I was able to provide $75k a year to my family. I supported my wife through messenger school and covered all our housing. Even when I ran my company my wife handlers our personal finances. For the entirety of our marriage up until two years ago I was the bread winner. Recently my wife became a MD and she has a high stress job that pays really well. I am stable on meds and we have three boys. My wife was a way better stay at home parent than I, but as she makes complaints I incorporate what I then have to learn about into my normal routine. I feel like no matter what I learn there is always a new complaint. She did not like the simple meals I cooked for dinner so I took cooking lessons and she loves the food. I did not clean well enough, so I make sure she comes home to a swept floor clean bathrooms and wiped down counter with no dishes on it ( I do dishes as I cook because I find it gross to leave them on the counter when I am done). There is plenty more but I don’t want this to be a vent session. I noticed after she lost her father she just does not care. I get grief I’ve lost many many important people, but it is hard to keep pushing forward when my spouse constantly asks why can’t I just not be broken. There are two sides to the story so please don’t think my wife is a bad person she is not. She went on a trip that I urged her to go on to see friends, she has put in deep debt trying to fill her empty void with family trips and such (and I want to let her since she is the breadwinner). Before she left she says she is tired of worrying about me, she finds me attractive but she does not want to have sex with a crazy person(not exact words but the gist of it), and she does not feel safe leaving our kids with me.

Questions: At what point do I get to be appreciated for coming as far as I have that she can leave weeks at a time and keeping the household running? I’m not asking for round of applause, but we were told I would never be as functioning as I am now so life is better for all.

2. If a woman feels her spouse is a burden why not just leave? I feel like this is cruel. She says she loves me, but throws my sickness in my face. It’s just alienating and hurtful.

3. Would you feel the need to work if your spouse could afford housing, food and some extras, but not big vacations? I feel as if she decided to work because she can’t stand being around me (I am not a happy go lucky guy anymore, but I am civil and treat people with common decency).

4. Once you lose the feel have having a reliable partner would you ever consider ending it to spare both of you the loneliness and pain? I feel she constantly blames me for our current life and it takes all my discipline not just walk out since our life did not have to be this way.

5. At what point would you personally stop trying because I am so tired and feel less effort would at least save me effort in being a failure and nuisance in her eyes.

Anyways I skipped way too many details, but my wife is not a bad person and she at least says I love still even though I can tell it’s forced. This is more vent from a lonely husband than anything but any help or insight would be appreciated.

 

[DeadDreamsWhispering]

If a man is willing to play the traditional male role or at least improve himself to the point where he is able to, do you think it's chauvinistic or unreasonable for him to expect a woman who can play the traditional female one?

 

[Adamcastro86]

If a man is willing to play the traditional male role or at least improve himself to the point where he is able to, do you think it's chauvinistic or unreasonable for him to expect a woman who can play the traditional female one?

That is a tough question. I believe it depends on culture. Being in the US I supported my wife to become a doctor, and now that she is a doctor it does not make sense for her to stop being one. My life is not guaranteed and it is expensive here. If something happened to me financially it would be business as usual for her since she would not lose my income stream. Even though I feel our relationship is not great right now I always worried what will happen to her if I died, and now I don’t worry. I am a firm believer in traditional male and female roles if both parties are okay with it, but once the female becomes the bread winner (and they are honeysuckle with money and lack financial discipline) then I believe there would be some resentment. I have a friend who’s wife quit her job because they moved out of state and her company wanted her in office. She made 2x the income but my friend had contractual agreements that would put him in prison if he did not follow up on so there is extreme resentment from his spouse. I know even if my wife complains about her job and the stress she would not quit even if I replaced her income and kept my current income so yeah it’s all about how she would feel.

 

[Finished]

Why would a guy get upset because you try to pay him back for food that you asked him to bring? It seems silly to me. I might could understand if he brought me lunch because he did it on his own but I asked him to stop what he was doing and go get me food. He gets here and I try to pay him back and he got all in his feelings about it. This is not the first time he has been weird about me paying for myself. I’m usuallly pretty good about reading people but thus guy is confusing me. Maybe I’m just really out of practice with the opposite sex or he is just so different from anyone I’ve experienced? I’ve tried explaining that since we aren’t together that I have no expectations of him and that bothered him as well. It’s just bizarre or is it me?

Well everybody is on the crazy spectrum. Yes, men too. Ha! ha! It could be:
1) He WANTS to be together with you.
1A) He is hurt because it's a form of rejection.
1B) Paying for your food, helping you out, etc, etc, etc is a way for him to make you feel like you owe him.

2) He believes a guy should always pay.
2A) By paying him back you are demasculating him, saying his values don't matter to you.
2B) It sends him the message that you have zero interest in dating him.

3) You said, "since we aren't together."
3A) You just rejected him. It's like pissing in his Cheerios, well, as long as he's not actually into that.
3B) It also says that you really don't want to ever be together. It's like a double rejection. Be careful! He may retaliate.

For myself I absolutely do not care one way or the other if I pay or don't pay for food. I will usually just pay. If someone wants to pay some, pay me back later, pay for all of it, I honestly don't give a honeysuckle. It something is said, then I just say do whatever makes you feel comfortable and then I don't ever bring it back up.

The problem is, if you do accept then he may very well feel like you owe him. Is he violent? Are you sure? I had a friend that actually stalked a woman because she showed interest in him. He would call me from near her house and say she is with another guy and give me status reports, to which I said, I didn't want to hear that crap and he should go home. I even caught him stalking me to see if I lied to him or not. But, he seemed perfectly normal.

 

[DeadDreamsWhispering]

Well everybody is on the crazy spectrum. Yes, men too. Ha! ha! It could be:
1) He WANTS to be together with you.
1A) He is hurt because it's a form of rejection.
1B) Paying for your food, helping you out, etc, etc, etc is a way for him to make you feel like you owe him.

2) He believes a guy should always pay.
2A) By paying him back you are demasculating him, saying his values don't matter to you.
2B) It sends him the message that you have zero interest in dating him.

3) You said, "since we aren't together."
3A) You just rejected him. It's like pissing in his Cheerios, well, as long as he's not actually into that.
3B) It also says that you really don't want to ever be together. It's like a double rejection. Be careful! He may retaliate.

For myself I absolutely do not care one way or the other if I pay or don't pay for food. I will usually just pay. If someone wants to pay some, pay me back later, pay for all of it, I honestly don't give a honeysuckle. It something is said, then I just say do whatever makes you feel comfortable and then I don't ever bring it back up.

The problem is, if you do accept then he may very well feel like you owe him. Is he violent? Are you sure? I had a friend that actually stalked a woman because she showed interest in him. He would call me from near her house and say she is with another guy and give me status reports, to which I said, I didn't want to hear that crap and he should go home. I even caught him stalking me to see if I lied to him or not. But, he seemed perfectly normal.

Hey dude, I dont mean to be rude and please don't take this as an attack on you but I asked this in the "questions for women" thread because I wanted to see what women would write back about it, not men. I do appreciate you putting some time into your answer though.

 

[Adamcastro86]

Hey dude, I dont mean to be rude and please don't take this as an attack on you but I asked this in the "questions for women" thread because I wanted to see what women would write back about it, not men. I do appreciate you putting some time into your answer though.

Ah that’s no problem new to the sight and I only clicked reply. No offense taken my fault have a good night.

 

[Finished]

Hey dude, I dont mean to be rude and please don't take this as an attack on you but I asked this in the "questions for women" thread because I wanted to see what women would write back about it, not men. I do appreciate you putting some time into your answer though.

No worries. I was just answering a question that a woman asked about a guy's point of view prior to your question. Sometimes we bounce around in the threads.