Recent tweets

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

sub5male

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2023
Messages
163
Reaction score
57
Location
earth


Being a short guy is by far the MOST overlooked social taboo.
—~1.7% women are open to shorter men, 3-6" gap preferred
—<=5'6" is 10%ile in the US, with ~0 prospects
—6' is 90%ile, but the majority preference
Very short men are subject to ridicule and often depressed.

As a result..
—~80% of men lie about 2" height on dating apps
—Limb lengthening surgery, which costs $30k-$150k adds 3-6", is +9% YoY
—Elevator shoes add 2-3" like Conzuri/Chamaripa are on the rise.
—Reduced career outcomes
—Short men are more depressed, and more suicidal

Today, plus-sized women have social recognition. No one thinks its okay to comment on a woman's weight—it's publicly admonished despite being completely changeable.
Short men don't this have this luxury. They're told "you're too short, sorry".
Imagine the genders reversed.
 
I am a guy that struggled with this weight. I use to weigh 500 at 6ft 1 and now I am at 390. Now at age 56 I am finally starting to come around. But not looking for relationship in romance sense.

I have seen short men have nice wives. Us plus size men are out in the cold.
 
Your weight issues are self induced though while being short is just a matter of unfortunate genetics and outside of very expensive, painful and extremely risky surgical procedures, nothing can be done to change height. It's likely that the short men with nice wives whom you mentioned were partnered years ago. Lack of height as a man has always been a huge barrier for dating but it has exploded exponentially due to social media. For men, the difference between being 5'6 and 5'10 is earthshattering.
 
I would never ridicule a short man, but dating and ridicule is different. I wouldn't date someone who was shorter than *desired height*. Also I am willing to bet the overweight women are the same women that would be more open to giving a short man a chance.

I’m tiny so stands to reason short men approach me more than my taller beauties… this is the real hypocrisy its okay for them to like short women but not for women to like tall men… why do they bring weight into the discussion and not keep it at height? Because the real double standard will show. Compare like for like… not height to weight… women get discriminated against for being tall… mostly by short men.
 
If you're 5'5, and she's 5'8, she's 5'2 with rope.
Problem solved.
🤪

In all seriousness though, the quality of the man, is usually more important to the woman than anything else. Actually, this is kind of true on both sides of the gender wars now that I think about it.
Because "why are there no good men" and "why are there no good women" are quantitative assumptions of questions. Quantity =/= Quality.

And in truth?
If somebody gives you the L for an entirely superficial reason, well then you didn't really lose anything of qualitative value to you, did you?
 
If you're 5'5, and she's 5'8, she's 5'2 with rope.
Problem solved.
🤪

In all seriousness though, the quality of the man, is usually more important to the woman than anything else. Actually, this is kind of true on both sides of the gender wars now that I think about it.
Because "why are there no good men" and "why are there no good women" are quantitative assumptions of questions. Quantity =/= Quality.

And in truth?
If somebody gives you the L for an entirely superficial reason, well then you didn't really lose anything of qualitative value to you, did you?
No 😇 this is what men in particular are missing… I put it somewhere else but incompatibility doesn't mean something is wrong with you… it means you aren't right for each other.

It can hurt not being someones “type” but thats life. I think whats annoying is the shaming for having a type and then the shaming for lying about the reason you dont want to date a guy…. People create a cant win situation.
 
No 😇 this is what men in particular are missing… I put it somewhere else but incompatibility doesn't mean something is wrong with you… it means you aren't right for each other.

Inexperience is part of the cause of that.
I spent 8 years with a woman that I wasn't compatible with, and 3 years afterwards before I found a woman I was compatible with that made me realize that this is the problem.
I loved her very much, we just weren't compatible.
We got together when we were teens and stayed together into our mid 20s.
Effectively it was the longest relationship I've ever been in.
And so 3 years after we broke up when I met my other ex, that's how I learned that there's nothing wrong with me.

It can hurt not being someones “type” but thats life. I think whats annoying is the shaming for having a type and then the shaming for lying about the reason you dont want to date a guy…. People create a cant win situation.

I've taken so many L's I'm just mostly used to it. That **** don't really bother me. I expect it.
It's when it doesn't happen that I'm thrown, actually.
Then I'm like: 🤯 That worked?!? 🤔 Why did that work??
 
Inexperience is part of the cause of that.
I spent 8 years with a woman that I wasn't compatible with, and 3 years afterwards before I found a woman I was compatible with that made me realize that this is the problem.
I loved her very much, we just weren't compatible.
We got together when we were teens and stayed together into our mid 20s.
Effectively it was the longest relationship I've ever been in.
And so 3 years after we broke up when I met my other ex, that's how I learned that there's nothing wrong with me.



I've taken so many L's I'm just mostly used to it. That honeysuckle don't really bother me. I expect it.
It's when it doesn't happen that I'm thrown, actually.
Then I'm like: 🤯 That worked?!? 🤔 Why did that work??
You’re right Apexiee when I was younger I used to think the racist guys in high-school not wanting to date me was my fault, if I was hot enough then they would just forget about our racial differences. Makes no sense when you say it out loud, but I wanted them to like me soooooo badly lol Now I think Jesus... that wouldn't have been a pretty pairing at all..

I genuinely dont know what constant rejection is like, but the closest I came to it wasn't for the weak, so I feel for the men who experience that... but please there is no cleaner gender, we're all shallow, there is a standard and we need to do better at not bashing who doesn't meet it.
 
You’re right Apexiee when I was younger I used to think the racist guys in high-school not wanting to date me was my fault, if I was hot enough then they would just forget about our racial differences. Makes no sense when you say it out loud, but I wanted them to like me soooooo badly lol Now I think Jesus... that wouldn't have been a pretty pairing at all..

I genuinely dont know what constant rejection is like, but the closest I came to it wasn't for the weak, so I feel for the men who experience that... but please there is no cleaner gender, we're all shallow, there is a standard and we need to do better at not bashing who doesn't meet it.

Yeah that wouldn't have gone well.
I'm glad you understand that now. Keep yourself safe.
It took me quite a while to understand that you cannot change other people, other people have to be willing to change themselves.
That's sort of the thing with how and why my 8-year relationship didn't work out.
She was wanting me to grow and be more socially confident and extroverted than I was at the time, and I was wanting her to be more traditionally valued at the time.
The interesting thing about this is:
Eventually this did happen.
Eventually we both became what the other wanted.
Years AFTER, we broke up.

But also there's personal nuances as to why her and I aren't compatible.
I'm not as socially confident as she'd like me to be, she's not as traditional as I'd like her to be.
That kind of a thing.
We're long over it now.
We're distant friends. Still text, just rarely have an actual conversation.
Haven't actually seen each other in person now in almost the same amount of time as the length of our relationship.

It's that I deal with my crap forwardly, and she actively tries to avoid dealing with her crap.
So I grew, matured, and got over it faster. She's grown and gotten over it, but is still a bit immature. 😂
I'm so over it that I don't feel anything about it anymore. It happened forever ago to me as far as I'm concerned.
Just due to the obscurity of its dynamical twists that's why I don't talk about it directly much.

Everyone is at least a little shallow. That's just how our instincts are. We can't really do anything about that, that's older than any building or any script ever built or ever written to our knowledge as humans. 😂 Plus it's also on a sliding scale. I mean yeah, everyone's got their preferential limitations amongst their shallowness, but within what I'd call the Allowance Zone, there's traction for variability. There has to be, otherwise dating would just have no variety at all and people would get very bored very quickly. People get bored quickly as it is, I struggle to fathom what that would be like accelerated even further. In an excess of that, all I can think of is Louis C.K. making a joke to his daughter on an airplane about her complaining that her signal cut out just prior to takeoff. To explain to her how fortunate she is to even have a cell phone with wireless signal in the first place at her age, he said: "Would you give it a minute?? It's going to space!..." 😂
 
No 😇 this is what men in particular are missing… I put it somewhere else but incompatibility doesn't mean something is wrong with you… it means you aren't right for each other.

It can hurt not being someones “type” but thats life. I think whats annoying is the shaming for having a type and then the shaming for lying about the reason you dont want to date a guy…. People create a cant win situation.
It's not like that in regards to women & a mans lack of height. Short men ARE looked at as inferior and defective by most women. We are openly ridiculed and only a small percentage of women will be interested in a shorter man over an average height or tall man and this small percentage of women are always already taken.

I blame much of it on childrens stories about Prince Charming & tall, dark & handsome hero's and social media. They are programmed from birth to look at a mans height as the epitome of his masculinity so shorter men are simply not "manly" enough for them-you should understand this since it appears to be your own stance on short men, though you may couch it as us "not being your type." Women don't compare their own height to a mans-if they did a 5'6 man who is much taller than a 5' women would never have an issue-instead they compare a mans height to other men.
 
It's not like that in regards to women & a mans lack of height. Short men ARE looked at as inferior and defective by most women. We are openly ridiculed and only a small percentage of women will be interested in a shorter man over an average height or tall man and this small percentage of women are always already taken.

I blame much of it on childrens stories about Prince Charming & tall, dark & handsome hero's and social media. They are programmed from birth to look at a mans height as the epitome of his masculinity so shorter men are simply not "manly" enough for them-you should understand this since it appears to be your own stance on short men, though you may couch it as us "not being your type." Women don't compare their own height to a mans-if they did a 5'6 man who is much taller than a 5' women would never have an issue-instead they compare a mans height to other men.
I deffo dont understand the ridiculing shorter men thing, the fact that so many women do it is a head scratch to me. I dont like bullying in any form.

Okay I'm lost… why would I compare a mans height to my own? Do you compare your chest size to a womans? I just don't understand that part. I like tall men… meaning I would compare him to men… wouldn't it be more emasculating to be compared to women ? Its comments like this that are hard for me to process, i dont care how tall a man is if he wants to be compared to a woman in anyway thats such a turn off.
 
Of course you like only tall men-you have been programmed from birth to do so. Every aspect of our culture teaches that tall men are good and short men are bad. You may not outright ridicule us but there is little doubt that you look at short men as being inferior to tall men and unworthy of your interest.

As far as comparing a mans height to a women, it's very simple. Most people claim that as long as a man is taller than a women she should not have an issue with his lack of height and that short men should just try and date short women. As you have stated, women completely ignore their own lack of height while demanding only the top percentage of men. Personally I have found that the shortest women are almost always the most heightist.
 
Of course you like only tall men-you have been programmed from birth to do so. Every aspect of our culture teaches that tall men are good and short men are bad. You may not outright ridicule us but there is little doubt that you look at short men as being inferior to tall men and unworthy of your interest.

As far as comparing a mans height to a women, it's very simple. Most people claim that as long as a man is taller than a women she should not have an issue with his lack of height and that short men should just try and date short women. As you have stated, women completely ignore their own lack of height while demanding only the top percentage of men. Personally I have found that the shortest women are almost always the most heightist.
But you just called tall men the top percentage of men… not me… but yes anyone shorter than my desired height will not get any interest from me, works out well for all involved. A man being taller than a woman is a mans motive he will date a woman as long as he’s taller than her… i’ve never even met a man shorter than me… so why would I even think that.

There's not a lot of men “worth” a second glance from me 😅 I wish it was just height but theres so much more to it… even something as simple as brown eyes doesn't work for me… am I eye colourist too? 🙃
 
But you just called tall men the top percentage of men… not me… but yes anyone shorter than my desired height will not get any interest from me, works out well for all involved. A man being taller than a woman is a mans motive he will date a woman as long as he’s taller than her… i’ve never even met a man shorter than me… so why would I even think that.

There's not a lot of men “worth” a second glance from me 😅 I wish it was just height but theres so much more to it… even something as simple as brown eyes doesn't work for me… am I eye colourist too? 🙃
Sure you did-by your actions & preferences you consider tall men to be superior to short men. It is a fundamental rule in life to always look at what a person does rather than what they may verbally claim. In fact, in this very post you said outright that short men are not worth you even looking at and you are not a minority in your views. You are a great example of how women are just as visual as men when it comes to attraction, if not even more so.

Also, the vast majority of men don't care anything about how tall or short a women is as long as he is attracted to her. I would have no qualms about dating a taller women but they find me as invisible or as repulsive as short women do.

As far as eye color, it is very simple to change that using contact lenses. It are the things which are virtually unchangeable outside of painful, expensive and risky surgery that women are attracted to in men-i.e. our genetic quality. Your requirements for a man are limited to the top 1% and women like to claim that mens standards are too high when we expect our looks match, lol.
 
Also, the vast majority of men don't care anything about how tall or short a women is as long as he is attracted to her.
I have to admit here, I am VERY concerned about that.
In fact I prefer 4'9" to 5'4".
I would never give a girl over 5'7" or so a second look.

And as far as a 6 footer like Sigourney Weaver? (when she was young, of course - age is even more of a restriction for me) Yikes! Feets...do your stuff!!!
 
Sure you did-by your actions & preferences you consider tall men to be superior to short men. It is a fundamental rule in life to always look at what a person does rather than what they may verbally claim. In fact, in this very post you said outright that short men are not worth you even looking at and you are not a minority in your views. You are a great example of how women are just as visual as men when it comes to attraction, if not even more so.

Also, the vast majority of men don't care anything about how tall or short a women is as long as he is attracted to her. I would have no qualms about dating a taller women but they find me as invisible or as repulsive as short women do.

As far as eye color, it is very simple to change that using contact lenses. It are the things which are virtually unchangeable outside of painful, expensive and risky surgery that women are attracted to in men-i.e. our genetic quality. Your requirements for a man are limited to the top 1% and women like to claim that mens standards are too high when we expect our looks match, lol.
So I consider tall men superior, so if I was sick I would go to a taller doctor? Nah... my mind doesn't work like that, who catches my eye has nothing to do with anyone being superior. I find taller men more attractive, that's it. I dont consider myself very visual as long as he is tall, blue/green eyed and pale then theres room to talk.

The vast majority of men dont care about height? Let's be real, no statistics back that. Taller women talk about their dating market value too. Thanks @Unsigned I promise you arent the only man who feels that way...at least you admit it.

Lol as if I want a man who wears coloured contact lenses. If you tell me my standards are high then you are saying if I date a shorter man, I have to lower my standards... I would never want to be with a man who saw me as a step down, would you want to be with a woman who saw you that way?
 
Last edited:

Latest posts

Back
Top