So what do you want, RIGHT NOW?

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I want to stop feeling so tired. And to have an appetite. So much to do..
 
Some privacy. I want a room where I can close the door. I am always having to speed-read through everything and then have to read it multiple times because I didn't retain it, I'm always having to snap to attention, it's just so annoying. The only thing I am supposed to be doing is looking for a job, but I don't get any time to myself to try and solve the problem of why I don't have a job in the first place or why I keep finding myself in situations that I am profoundly unhappy with, and have absolutely nothing to do with the direction I want to go in. Actually, they drag me further away, like an undertow. The funny thing is, I need peace of mind to be effective. But in order to get peace of mind, I have to have a little time to calm down and let my thoughts settle. But I don't get that because I am barged in on all the **** time. If I meditated, I'd look like I was doing nothing. It's so frustrating.
 
a home... with light, silence, good heating, somebody in the next room(s), a small office with all the books and devices and instruments, a small but cosy bedroom, I don't want to travel (much), not now, I want a home so bad it hurts
 
Solivagant said:
More root beer.

I don't blame you! Would you like it plain, or as a root beer float? We always have those on the Fourth of July. I don't know why, just a family thing we'd do after seeing fireworks :)




What do I want RIGHT NOW? To know what job is the best fit for me. I've never known what I wanted to be when I grew up, and now I've grown up and I need to know. On the one hand, I want to feel like I'm doing something that I'm at least somewhat interested in. On the other hand, I want to make enough money where I feel like I'm making progress, getting somewhere, where I feel like I am in charge of my life and not a victim. But I have no idea what job that would be.
 

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