The truth about us undesirables

[Myra]

Sorry for that negative experience. Most guys are aholes. I'm sure if I was a woman I would be gay. Ha! ha! Yeah, relationships are really tough. Also it takes time to really get to know someone. It's so much easier NOT being in a relationship or even having a boy/girl friend. It would be great to have friends of the opposite ***. But, those damn sexual feelings get in the way. Then men, who are typically aggressive, seem to loose their logic and do stupid things.

I definitely agree that there is skinny shamming going on. People do not want to believe that they are overweight or even obese. They just think and say they only need to loose a couple pounds. But, what they really want is thin people to gain weight and be like them. There were several older women at one job I had where we would all go to lunch together. We all grew to become work friends. It was nice. They would see me out eat all of them at lunch and wonder why I was skinny while they were all overweight. Sometimes they would even give me some of their food. Ha! ha! 

They continually asked about my diet and finally asked about me purging problem. I laughed because that was so absurd. I would never do that ever. But, they were serious and figured I was in denial. Ha! ha! I explained that I'm naturally thin, eat healthy, and I exercise. They didn't believe me and would constantly set things on my desk to eat. Ha! ha! However, I would never eat anything at any of the work parties or meetings and never ate holiday treats. It was all junk food like cakes, pies, and various sugary poison crap. I just don't eat that stuff period. 
 
Then I starting finding pamphlets on my desk about eating disorders. Ha! ha! I would go to the doctor for a check up and they would always say everything was great and to just keep doing what I'm doing. I really thought those women were odd. I liked that they cared enough to say something though. So, never got upset about it. But, I really started feeling pressure form others at different places. I would think, hey! I'm the healthy one. WTF!

It's too bad women aren't forced into marriages with GOOD men here. Ha! Ha! Just kidding. But maybe...... hmmmm. Ha! Ha! The few relationships I've had I've always helped improve the other person with the things they wanted to improve. They would gain more confidence and skills and then outgrow me. It's probably not a good strategy on my part. It seems like it's better to be abuse and tell them that they are lucky that I even want them because nobody else does. But, that's just not me. It seemed to work great for my brother until his kid left for college. Then his wife also left him shortly after that. Ha! ha!

That's funny with the women at your workplace. They definitely went too far though haha. It's true, people do not want to believe that they are overweight. Even when they have to take blood pressure lowering medication or develop diabetes they still won't understand that their eating behaviour is unhealthy. I had a work colleague who had a gastric bypass surgery. She told me she never realized how fat she had become and only after weight loss when she looked back at the pictures of when she was at her peak weight she sees how fat she was.  There was another morbidly obese man at work and she wanted to encourage him to do something about his weight but he always said that eating is life quality for him, and he doesn't want to give it up. It's kind of sad actually that he deluded himself into thinking that treating his body as a garbage can offers maximum life quality. I don't think he'll make it even to his 60s.

I hope for the future that it won't be necessary to consume food anymore and scientists will develop an alternative in the form of a pill or something that contains all that's necessary for us.

 

[Finished]

I tried to find a combination of healthy food that could be made in large batches and used at each meal. Unfortunately, from what I read, humans need a variety of different foods. Plus it would require preservatives. But I still like the idea of just grabbing a bag and chowing down on it:

[img=200x281]http://www.uncoveror.com/peoplechow1.jpg[/img]

 

[TheSkaFish]

I understand for a man it is more difficult to accept his lot because he is expected to be proactive and do something about his situation. 

It's not only that you are expected to be proactive and do something about your situation, but usually that "something" that you are expected to "do" is to somehow beat yourself into being something that you don't agree with, don't like, or just aren't naturally that kind of person because it just makes no sense for you to be that person.

These days it seems like you either have to be a hyper-masculine, raw, rugged man, cocky, body modifications, booze and drugs, violence, vandalism, stealing, risk-taking, who acts like he is better than everyone else because of his rebelliousness/edginess/darkness, toughness, brute force and capacity for violence, and willingness to take more risks and act recklessly.
Or the cold, mocking, cynical, sarcastic "funny man", always "negging" others or playing the witty banter/insults and comebacks game, who acts like he is better than everyone else because he thinks he's more clever.
Or you can just be a rich guy who acts like he is better than everyone else because he has more money than they do.

If a guy can't fit himself into one of those boxes, like I can't, either because I think those kinds of guys are ****** people or it just makes no sense for me to be that kind of guy, idk....I guess it's not impossible to attract a woman, but it does seem a lot harder. Those guys just have to exist, and be their ******* selves, be awful people and nobody cares, they get rewarded with relationships anyway cause they project power, superiority, and social rank, and that seems to be all anybody cares about anymore. It's some kind of survival of the fittest ****, I always hated that, always thought it shouldn't have to be that way. I have to...I don't know what I have to do. I somehow have to figure out some other way to be impressive and interesting so I can shout over their noise. I have interests, I work on my shape, I try to be personable, but I'm not wild, don't have a "hint of danger", and don't have anything to act smug and superior about. I feel like the types of guys I mentioned just have to exist, while I have to put so much thought into trying to figure out how to be "right", and still not being able to really get it. It's like it's not just one thing I have to do, like make 6 figures, or take up snowboarding or a martial art. I have to figure out how to be a completely different person. I don't know. I'm at wit's end.

As a woman you will be told to simply lower your standards and accept whatever desperate creeper comes your way because you can always find a man who will use you for bad ***. Great haha. 

To be honest, I don't know what women are told. I don't think I know anyone who has been told this, and judging by the women I've seen in real life and on my social media, no one seems to be living their lives that way. But I don't know for sure.

Yeah I did lower my standards, or to be more exact I didn't have any standards at all. It has probably helped me to be content alone now and to know I am happier without a relationship than with one. Lots of virgin men would find that out too if they knew what the reality can be like

Why didn't you have any standards? That seems like it would invite trouble.

I know that I can't be content being alone. I've wanted to escape this all my life. I hate it, I hate that it feels imposed on me. I feel like it's a prison sentence or a curse, and I have to beat it before my life ends, I can't let this beat me, I can't allow myself to live my entire life under it. I have to know what it's like to escape singledom.

Sometimes I feel like I put too much energy into being angry at my situation and hating it, but on the other hand, I feel like it wouldn't make any difference if I didn't. People just see me as a boring loser, however much I try not to be and try to show that I'm trying not to be, that I'm willing to learn. And I hate that, too. It's like if you don't say something "cool", and fast, BAM, just like that, you get categorized.

If you or others don't mind being alone, I don't agree, but to each their own.


PS - I scrolled further down the thread and saw that you had some bad experiences dating. Yeah, those situations did sound pretty bad. I wouldn't want to be in those situations either. But for what it's worth, not all lonely men, or all men for that matter, are like that.

I don't know, but it sounds like you were dating people that you didn't really want to date.
If you don't mind, what kind of person would you want to date instead? And why not go for that kind of person?

 

[Myra]

 I don't think I know anyone who has been told this, and judging by the women I've seen in real life and on my social media, no one seems to be living their lives that way.  But I don't know for sure.

Women who are active on social media and the ones you know in real life are probably not the ones who have to lower their standards because they'll know enough guys. I have seen women on social anxiety boards complaining about lack of partner and that's what they've been told. Personally, I can also say it is true: If I had standards I would still be a virgin too haha. You also describe the standards of women (or what you think the standards of women are, I don't really want to argue about this now, you probably think you know better anyway) in your post so you must be aware that women are more choosy than men. Also you must admit that not every woman will have that type of guy who apparently every woman prefers approach her. Therefore you must admit that such women would need to lower their standards if they want to be with someone.

Why didn't you have any standards?  That seems like it would invite trouble.

I thought it might be better for a change than being lonely. I had to collect the experience that in fact it's worse. I am glad for those experiences. I was less comfortable being lonely before than I am now, thanks to having had a taste of the alternative.

You seem to understand this feeling a bit because you wrote:

 I have to know what it's like to escape singledom.

Also the men I was with probably were just doing the same as me because they weren't really into me either haha. It's probably a common thing, even for normal people and for extroverts like those guys were. I think because I'm very introverted I have less energy to put with the bs. 

If you don't mind, what kind of person would you want to date instead?  

I don't want to date anybody.

And why not go for that kind of person?

But it's interesting to be asked such a question on this forum. People on this forum are lonely and have difficulties establishing meaningful connections or meeting the right people. You're on this forum so you know it's not easy to just go and surround yourself with the right people.

---

I tried to find a combination of healthy food that could be made in large batches and used at each meal. Unfortunately, from what I read, humans need a variety of different foods. Plus it would require preservatives. But I still like the idea of just grabbing a bag and chowing down on it:

[img=200x281]http://www.uncoveror.com/peoplechow1.jpg[/img]

Is that dog food for humans?
Most pet animals actually eat the same stuff every day. Why not.  

 

[Finished]

^ You bet. BTW, since you aren't looking to date anybody, what time should I come bye to pick you up? I not looking to date anybody either. Seems like a great match. Ha! Ha!

 

[Myra]

^ You bet. BTW, since you aren't looking to date anybody, what time should I come bye to pick you up? I not looking to date anybody either. Seems like a great match. Ha! Ha!

Great, someone who is looking for the same thing as me. Remember to plan in 14 extra days for quarantine before you can pick me up, but I think you won't mind.

 

[Just Games]

^ You bet. BTW, since you aren't looking to date anybody, what time should I come bye to pick you up? I not looking to date anybody either. Seems like a great match. Ha! Ha!

Great, someone who is looking for the same thing as me. Remember to plan in 14 extra days for quarantine before you can pick me up, but I think you won't mind.

Hey can I meet up too.I'm not looking for a date either and I find you both really interesting,and I'm a good lisener

 

[Myra]

^ You bet. BTW, since you aren't looking to date anybody, what time should I come bye to pick you up? I not looking to date anybody either. Seems like a great match. Ha! Ha!

Great, someone who is looking for the same thing as me. Remember to plan in 14 extra days for quarantine before you can pick me up, but I think you won't mind.

Hey can I meet up too.I'm not looking for a date either and I find you both really interesting,and I'm a good lisener

Sure, you're more than welcome 

 

[Finished]

^^ Absolutely! It's too bad that alone people can't find each other and not be alone so much. Every time I go looking for locals to meet up with it's either dating or alpha type people, which wouldn't happen anyway. Then I start imagining the interactions and sigh. I could meet up with other 4x4 guys / groups. There are several that would probably welcome me. But, then I think I don't like groups. I typically don't like car/truck guys either because they start talking about all the crap they did to their vehicle and tell me what I should do to mine. Then they start looking over and judging my vehicle. Plus I prefer to go four wheeling by myself. It's so peaceful. Then I realize I like doing things be myself the way I want to do them. Soon I realize I'm not interested in doing activities with others. It's like an internal battle I keep having with myself. But, Just Games and Myra, I would make exceptions for you. Ha! Ha!

 

[Myra]

^^ Absolutely! It's too bad that alone people can't find each other and not be alone so much. Every time I go looking for locals to meet up with it's either dating or alpha type people, which wouldn't happen anyway. Then I start imagining the interactions and sigh. I could meet up with other 4x4 guys / groups. There are several that would probably welcome me. But, then I think I don't like groups. I typically don't like car/truck guys either because they start talking about all the crap they did to their vehicle and tell me what I should do to mine. Then they start looking over and judging my vehicle. Plus I prefer to go four wheeling by myself. It's so peaceful. Then I realize I like doing things be myself the way I want to do them. Soon I realize I'm not interested in doing activities with others. It's like an internal battle I keep having with myself. But, Just Games and Myra, I would make exceptions for you. Ha! Ha!

Thank you, that's appreciated 
I wonder sometimes if there's nobody in this city who is alone like me. But then I think, if there is, maybe we couldn't stand each other anyway and we are not the kind of friend we are looking for haha. And like you I also just like doing things on my own and I would probabably feel annoyed that someone was stealing my time.

 

[Finished]

Thank you, that's appreciated 
I wonder sometimes if there's nobody in this city who is alone like me. But then I think, if there is, maybe we couldn't stand each other anyway and we are not the kind of friend we are looking for haha. And like you I also just like doing things on my own and I would probabably feel annoyed that someone was stealing my time.

If androids existed would you want one? Would you buy or rent one? I would like to buy one myself. But, I think it would be cool to rent one for vacations or something. I could see them being body guards as well.

 

[Myra]

If androids existed would you want one? Would you buy or rent one? I would like to buy one myself. But, I think it would be cool to rent one for vacations or something. I could see them being body guards as well.

Definitely. My need for company is quite low, so in everyday life I would not interact that much with it, and would just use it for cuddling. Hope it's warm. When I'm bored it can talk to me. Yes, vacations are also a good idea, because it feels pointless to go alone. I can go hiking with one. There are many uses. I would buy one to bond with and maybe rent additional ones for other occasions.

What do you think about a brain implant that you could control so that it released pleasant love hormones like oxytocin without that you actually needed a love interest to serve as an external stimulus for the love experience? It would just directly stimulate your brain and cause the same feelings. Social needs would get satisfied from within right at their source.  I saw a youtube video a while ago in which neuralink team members stated their hopes in how neuralink devices could serve us one day. Besides ideas like telepathy or night vision some team members simply stated the hope for some form of improvement in our emotional lives (like improved recall of good memories, elemination of anxiety and depression, ...). So maybe something similar in the future can enable us to find happiness within ourselves (our bains) without needing anything or anyone external to stimulate the feelings anymore. The problem with this is that they still know way too little about the human brain and the knowledge about it improves at a much slower rate than technology does.

 

[Finished]

If androids existed would you want one? Would you buy or rent one? I would like to buy one myself. But, I think it would be cool to rent one for vacations or something. I could see them being body guards as well.

Definitely. My need for company is quite low, so in everyday life I would not interact that much with it, and would just use it for cuddling. Hope it's warm. When I'm bored it can talk to me. Yes, vacations are also a good idea, because it feels pointless to go alone. I can go hiking with one. There are many uses. I would buy one to bond with and maybe rent additional ones for other occasions.

What do you think about a brain implant that you could control so that it released pleasant love hormones like oxytocin without that you actually needed a love interest to serve as an external stimulus for the love experience? It would just directly stimulate your brain and cause the same feelings. Social needs would get satisfied from within right at their source.  I saw a youtube video a while ago in which neuralink team members stated their hopes in how neuralink devices could serve us one day. Besides ideas like telepathy or night vision some team members simply stated the hope for some form of improvement in our emotional lives (like improved recall of good memories, elemination of anxiety and depression, ...). So maybe something similar in the future can enable us to find happiness within ourselves (our bains) without needing anything or anyone external to stimulate the feelings anymore. The problem with this is that they still know way too little about the human brain and the knowledge about it improves at a much slower rate than technology does.

I like the way you think. Ha! ha! IMO, there are many people that are alone and prefer it most of the time. It's those damn human bonding chemicals that cause lonely feelings sometimes especially when watching those Lifetime Movies. Ha! ha! We've talked about the desire to shut those feelings off on this forum. Using something other then drugs would be great. I'm drug free and will be staying that way for as long as possible. Overall, I think we are heading in that direction because bonding with other humans is pointless most of the time. I look back at all the crap I put up with when I was in relationships. It just simply wasn't worth it. I lost and wasted so much time, money, and effort in order to make them work. I don't blame them for it. That's just what it was.

As advanced as we like to think we are. We really aren't progressing as fast as we think. The last 40 years has really only been slight improvements, with a few exceptions, on what others already created at least with technology. I'm ready to download crap directly into my brain like in the Matrix and surf the Internet using my thoughts. Hell, real holographic imagery still doesn't exist. I could settle for a holographic friend during lonely times.

 

[Myra]

As advanced as we like to think we are. We really aren't progressing as fast as we think. The last 40 years has really only been slight improvements, with a few exceptions, on what others already created at least with technology. I'm ready to download crap directly into my brain like in the Matrix and surf the Internet using my thoughts. Hell, real holographic imagery still doesn't exist. I could settle for a holographic friend during lonely times.

I wasn't around 40 years ago but maybe you're right. Maybe the reason why medicine hasn't advanced much is because it needs advances in technology, and there haven't been enough meaningful ones.