The Ugly One...

[MysteriousTelephone]

To me if the account and status is right he cant be below average if its simply just his looks then thats a hard one, men aren't all that attractive in general in my opinion so maybe its more their accent, they way they conceal their status, but dont get me wrong, some guys can just pull because they are hot but the reason we see rich old unattractive men with super models is because they have status and money.

I dont know you but I can say sometimes its a no because I felt the guy wanted me … like too much maybe you come off too keen? not sure if you think that could be a thing?

Again, this goes back to my point of none of that being visible in nearly every other situation. If you’re in a bar, gym, workplace, literally any scenario, and you will not know what amazing profile this person may or may not have. If you decide to ask for their IG, or decide to find out on your own, it means you’re already interested.

If one of the ‘below average’ men approached you, bruising your ego, would you take it upon yourself to research them online to find if they have something else to offer?

I get the last point, desperate is not attractive. In myself I don’t come across as desperate, I’m a fairly relaxed individual and can carry a conversation with anyone easily.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Again, this goes back to my point of none of that being visible in nearly every other situation. If you’re in a bar, gym, workplace, literally any scenario, and you will not know what amazing profile this person may or may not have. If you decide to ask for their IG, or decide to find out on your own, it means you’re already interested.

If one of the ‘below average’ men approached you, bruising your ego, would you take it upon yourself to research them online to find if they have something else to offer?

I get the last point, desperate is not attractive. In myself I don’t come across as desperate, I’m a fairly relaxed individual and can carry a conversation with anyone easily.

No no it’s on the man to impress me, not for me to research him, he has to offer to take me somewhere fancy, offer to spoil me, i’d go out with a man who wasn’t the hottest if the offer was good. That wouldnt damage my ego but its when they act like a simple hey can I have your number would do with me when I look my very best!?!?! Oh no no. That’ll send me to an early grave.

Awh I wouldnt say desperate but like hmm likes to show too much interest like loads of compliments and stuff but its good that you are so self aware

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

No no it’s on the man to impress me, not for me to research him, he has to offer to take me somewhere fancy, offer to spoil me, i’d go out with a man who wasn’t the hottest if the offer was good. That wouldnt damage my ego but its when they act like a simple hey can I have your number would do with me when I look my very best!?!?! Oh no no. That’ll send me to an early grave.

Awh I wouldnt say desperate but like hmm likes to show too much interest like loads of compliments and stuff but its good that you are so self aware

To be honest, I find that really cynical. Someone you find to be ugly can approach you, but as long as he's quick to mention the 6 figure salary and Jaguar in the driveway, you'll give him a chance. I would want any potential partner to want me for me, not for money or status. Sure, as you get talking to someone these things come out naturally, but I really don't feel the need to state them as soon as I meet someone in an attempt to compensate for being ugly. Should I just change my Tinder pic to a bank statement?

No, I would say that also doesn't apply. I tend not to compliment people early on, as it often comes across as insincere. If I do, it's not usually on something appearance based. When I've liked someone and we've had friends in common, I will often ask a mutual friend to see what she thinks of me, and the response that comes back is "He's too ugly".

 

[CenotaphGirl]

To be honest, I find that really cynical. Someone you find to be ugly can approach you, but as long as he's quick to mention the 6 figure salary and Jaguar in the driveway, you'll give him a chance. I would want any potential partner to want me for me, not for money or status. Sure, as you get talking to someone these things come out naturally, but I really don't feel the need to state them as soon as I meet someone in an attempt to compensate for being ugly. Should I just change my Tinder pic to a bank statement?

No, I would say that also doesn't apply. I tend not to compliment people early on, as it often comes across as insincere. If I do, it's not usually on something appearance based. When I've liked someone and we've had friends in common, I will often ask a mutual friend to see what she thinks of me, and the response that comes back is "He's too ugly".

Idk I hardly find anything attractive about how a man looks, but I do like how men treat me, not sure why its cynical. As for money and status not being a factor in attracting women, thats just not how it works, men do not become successful and find themselves with a shortage of women, it just doesn't work like that.

Also depends what your bank statement says if you want to turn the tides from chasing to being chased i joke no dont do that, but no shame in going an extra mile to sway and swoon in my opinion.

Awh thats horrible, I am sure you are not ugly, not sure why your friends would even tell you that, how awful.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Idk I hardly find anything attractive about how a man looks, but I do like how men treat me, not sure why its cynical. As for money and status not being a factor in attracting women, thats just not how it works, men do not become successful and find themselves with a shortage of women, it just doesn't work like that.

Also depends what your bank statement says if you want to turn the tides from chasing to being chased i joke no dont do that, but no shame in going an extra mile to sway and swoon in my opinion.

Awh thats horrible, I am sure you are not ugly, not sure why your friends would even tell you that, how awful.

So I guess that's a fairly unique thing to you, if you don't really find any men particularly attractive. The money and success thing, that really only is apparent after you get to know someone, so being visibly unattractive is definitely an obstacle in someone wanting to get to know you. Of course, when you get to a position where you own a company, you're talked about and therefore people know this before they meet you, that might sway them. I'm not exactly at a CEO position, I'm afraid.

The bank statement thing was definitely a joke, just more to highlight that when people swipe 'no' to me on dating sites, they've no idea whether I'm a janitor or a doctor with a Mercedes and an 11" dong. They look at the photo and say "Hell no!"

You know how it is, girls talk, and when a girl asks another girl what she thinks about a guy, she's very likely to give the unfiltered truth. The girl doesn't even know it'll get back to me, so it's not being said to hurt my feelings.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

So I guess that's a fairly unique thing to you, if you don't really find any men particularly attractive. The money and success thing, that really only is apparent after you get to know someone, so being visibly unattractive is definitely an obstacle in someone wanting to get to know you. Of course, when you get to a position where you own a company, you're talked about and therefore people know this before they meet you, that might sway them. I'm not exactly at a CEO position, I'm afraid.

The bank statement thing was definitely a joke, just more to highlight that when people swipe 'no' to me on dating sites, they've no idea whether I'm a janitor or a doctor with a Mercedes and an 11" dong. They look at the photo and say "Hell no!"

You know how it is, girls talk, and when a girl asks another girl what she thinks about a guy, she's very likely to give the unfiltered truth. The girl doesn't even know it'll get back to me, so it's not being said to hurt my feelings.

Just be careful, that crap shouldn't get back to you or be said about ya in the first place in my humble opinion. Some people just wanna hurt your feelings telephone man, you are a strong person for letting it roll off your back.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Just be careful, that crap shouldn't get back to you or be said about ya in the first place in my humble opinion. Some people just wanna hurt your feelings telephone man, you are a strong person for letting it roll off your back.

That's ok, like I said, she wasn't saying it to me, I asked a mutual friend to ask her why she wasn't interested. Personally I'd rather people be honest about this stuff than try to dance around it. I do get commented on for being ugly a fair amount, not so much by friends but generally by people.

Just recently was talking to a girl, chemistry was there, when I approached about taking it further she told me "she wasn't interested in a relationship"; a couple weeks later, she's in a relationship with an attractive guy. Obviously the "...with you." was silent like the G in lasagna.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That's ok, like I said, she wasn't saying it to me, I asked a mutual friend to ask her why she wasn't interested. Personally I'd rather people be honest about this stuff than try to dance around it. I do get commented on for being ugly a fair amount, not so much by friends but generally by people.

Just recently was talking to a girl, chemistry was there, when I approached about taking it further she told me "she wasn't interested in a relationship"; a couple weeks later, she's in a relationship with an attractive guy. Obviously the "...with you." was silent like the G in lasagna.

Yeah idk seems a little off, people can be direct but not hurtful, theres never any need for that. I cant believe people call you ugly, do you have a decent portportioned face? or large nose/ eyes/ lips? No one deserves to be called that hun, you aren't ugly, misunderstood beauty, perhaps?

So hmm thats so interesting, why did you feel chemistry, was she your type in looks? Nice voice? did she laugh at your jokes? Do you think you was in the running and a more attractive guy just pushed ya out the way?

Sorry I have to ask, do you have freckles?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Just recently was talking to a girl, chemistry was there, when I approached about taking it further she told me "she wasn't interested in a relationship"; a couple weeks later, she's in a relationship with an attractive guy. Obviously the "...with you." was silent like the G in lasagna.

Obviously I don't know the whole story and all that and I wasn't there and I don't know her, but she may not have been lying about not wanting to be in a relationship. Could the "attractive" guy have been an ex boyfriend that she got back together with? She wasn't interested in a NEW relationship, but that doesn't mean someone won't go back to an OLD relationship, especially if they just recently broke up.
As I said, I don't know all the details, so I could be wrong. It's just my first thought.

 

[Unsigned]

Personally I'd rather people be honest about this stuff than try to dance around it.

Me too.
I hate "niceties".
It's rare to find a female who is honest about these things with males.
All I've ever gotten from them is "I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend".
Translation of what they really mean: "Why haven't you just settled for a 4/10 you oaf!".

 

[Unsigned]

Yeah idk seems a little off, people can be direct but not hurtful

Sometimes the truth will hurt. It is still better than a lie or a "sugar coating". Those things are much worse.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Sometimes the truth will hurt. It is still better than a lie or a "sugar coating". Those things are much worse.

I’d say to my friend oh you’re not his type not he called you a ugly little skank its just not what a real friend would do in my opinion

 

[Unsigned]

I’d say to my friend oh you’re not his type not he called you a ugly little skank its just not what a real friend would do in my opinion

I get it and its a matter of preference I suppose.
But I would want to hear: "She doesn't like your face, and she said you are not muscular and aggressive enough".
Then I would know I should consider taking HGH...

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I get it and its a matter of preference I suppose.
But I would want to here: "She doesn't like your face, and she said you are not muscular and aggressive enough".
Then I would know I should consider taking HGH...

A guy was foolish enough to misunderstand that I am his type in every way and now he’s lost without me or so i tell myself

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Yeah idk seems a little off, people can be direct but not hurtful, theres never any need for that. I cant believe people call you ugly, do you have a decent portportioned face? or large nose/ eyes/ lips? No one deserves to be called that hun, you aren't ugly, misunderstood beauty, perhaps?

So hmm thats so interesting, why did you feel chemistry, was she your type in looks? Nice voice? did she laugh at your jokes? Do you think you was in the running and a more attractive guy just pushed ya out the way?

Sorry I have to ask, do you have freckles?

That’s ok, it happens quite a bit. Some people aren’t that attractive, and that’s ok. Surely for an ‘average’ to exist, a ‘below average’ must also exist. I think I’m somewhere in the ballpark of “average”, but don’t we all? But if you’re into your 30s, never had a girlfriend, with many people who’ve never met each other all referring to you as ‘ugly’, can you really call yourself average?

I do have a fairly muscular physique, it definitely seems to be an issue in the facial area; at a party last year an acquaintance described me as “alright, but only from the neck down” when she thought I couldn’t hear her. No freckles, hope that helps!

Honestly I’m not sure what happened, there was always a good “back & forth” with us, playful teasing, made her laugh a lot. At the end of our first meet she said she was out of a relationship and wasn’t read to jump into one, which I said I respected. 2 weeks later she’s with a guy I know who’s more attractive. I believe I was certainly pushed out of the running.

 

[Xpendable]

That's why Face > Body

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think it's more like,
Being Good at Something > Everything,

but I'm afraid that:
Being Good at Something = Genetics,

and that practice and hard work don't do anything for you unless you were born with the right genes in the first place,
and therefore that money and status are predetermined by genetics,
and that the only reason someone born to poverty can become rich later, is that they always had the genetics for it, but society didn't give them the education or opportunity to use them.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That’s ok, it happens quite a bit. Some people aren’t that attractive, and that’s ok. Surely for an ‘average’ to exist, a ‘below average’ must also exist. I think I’m somewhere in the ballpark of “average”, but don’t we all? But if you’re into your 30s, never had a girlfriend, with many people who’ve never met each other all referring to you as ‘ugly’, can you really call yourself average?

I do have a fairly muscular physique, it definitely seems to be an issue in the facial area; at a party last year an acquaintance described me as “alright, but only from the neck down” when she thought I couldn’t hear her. No freckles, hope that helps!

Honestly I’m not sure what happened, there was always a good “back & forth” with us, playful teasing, made her laugh a lot. At the end of our first meet she said she was out of a relationship and wasn’t read to jump into one, which I said I respected. 2 weeks later she’s with a guy I know who’s more attractive. I believe I was certainly pushed out of the running.

Hmm no, maybe you are average on a universal scale but live in a sexy side of town where most people are extremely attractive?

Oh wow its deffo proportions then, which is something unfixable so best not to think about it

Yeah sad when that happens and it always seems to happen so quickly, deffo sucks dont worry mr telephone theres more fish in the sea

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That's why Face > Body

Do you think thats the same for women? I feel like its the opposite for us

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I think it's more like,
Being Good at Something > Everything,

but I'm afraid that:
Being Good at Something = Genetics,

and that practice and hard work don't do anything for you unless you were born with the right genes in the first place,
and therefore that money and status are predetermined by genetics,
and that the only reason someone born to poverty can become rich later, is that they always had the genetics for it, but society didn't give them the education or opportunity to use them.

I’d disagree on that one. Outside of a career in the NBA, if you throw enough hours at anything, you can be pretty good.

For example, I’m very good at swing dancing. It’s a vibrant scene with a lot of young people, where the women outnumber men 3-1, and any single man is quickly snapped up. I’m also a decent photographer, which takes me all over the country and I get to meet a tonne of interesting people. I’m naturally skinny, but through diet and exercise have built an athletic physique. Don’t make excuses with genetics.