Ugly

[SpectraApocalypse]

Every time I look at my self my confidence lowers. To the point that I can't show friends pictures of myself via message or post profile pictures of my face. I'm too ugly.

 

[TheRealCallie]

No one is ugly, in my opinion.  I just think some of us have issues that prevent ourselves from seeing what other people see.

What exactly is it about yourself that you think is ugly?

 

[Zook]

Every time I look at my self my confidence lowers. To the point that I can't show friends pictures of myself via message or post profile pictures of my face. I'm too ugly.

You sound like you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Try to get help for it.

 

[Limlim]

I have some pretty ugly friends. Most people don't care about how pretty their friends are imo. A different case for romantic relationships yeah, but friends will generally be a okay

 

[VanillaCreme]

I have some pretty ugly friends. Most people don't care about how pretty their friends are imo. A different case for romantic relationships yeah, but friends will generally be a okay

Yeah, really. Lim, you crack me up, though. Ugly friends, but you know what, Lim still likes them anyway. So, hell, be ugly. The right people will like you regardless. The prettiest people act the ugliest anyway.

 

[ardour]

There are differences in what people describe as ugly.  There's those who might not be at all conventionally attractive but have likeable enough faces and can thus get along with others easily enough, have friends, maybe find a partner eventually. Then there's those who are just unattractive, who's headshape does them no favours,  who's faces default to a scowl or otherwise unpleasant form. And that causes problems, socially, and particularly with the opposite ***. Of course it's taboo to point this out, cause 'no-one is ugly' etc.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Still riding that record eh Ardour. I'm sorry but that's a load of crap. I know a guy who hated his face, he had a big nose, acne scars, and his head was oblong shaped. That didn't stop him from having friends. He had lots of friends because he had a decent personality, he didn't put up a wall and use his looks to push others away. No matter your looks it's YOU who change peoples perceptions about you. It's not what you look like on the outside, it's what you look like on the inside. Of course you won't believe that because you can't see past the outside.

To the OP, the less you focus and care about what you look like or what you think people would say the less you'll worry about. Your attitude is you best weapon or it can be your worse enemy. It's up to you to decide which one it'll be.

 

[Xpendable]

Really waiting to hear actual people with original thoughts. It's like reading a script over and over instead of developing an informed opinion.

 

[DarkSelene]

Really waiting to hear actual people with original thoughts. It's like reading a script over and over instead of developing an informed opinion.

It's not impossible to have friends or romantic partners because one is ugly. It's easier to attract people to talk/be friends with you if you're conventionally pretty or just normal looking, but it's not a hard task to achieve if you have a good enough personality and giving up on the prospects or the work just because of the way you see yourself is the real shame.
What's horrible in your eyes might be beautiful in others, what you hate about yourself might be something people find endearing. Your attitude towards your own "flaws" and how you deal with those is also a big reason why people don't want to be around you -- but it's easier to hate everyone else for it than to just look at how you're putting yourself in a deeper hole and pushing anyone who even dares come close away.

It's one thing to want original thoughts, a whole different thing just looking for confirmation bias.

 

[TheRealCallie]

^^ You likely aren't an ACTUAL person. lol

 

[Limlim]

This isn't really a feel good thing.. Im pretty sure no one gives a **** if their friends are ugly or not. Maybe some shallow socialites but that's a pretty limited sub section of society that I'm fairly certain none of us are a part of. Like I don't see how it affects me at all if my drinking buddy looked like he fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch of the way down or not. Are they fun and cool to hang out with? That's my prime concern.

Smell is a whole other issue, I can see if someone stinks then that might drive potential friends away.

 

[ardour]

It might be possible to find someone on strength of personality (ha... unlikely), or find that rare person who doesn't care at all about physical attraction. But I don't want to go through some giant ordeal just to be given a date... maybe... a see how it goes situation with a woman in her 30s who'll inevitably be a lot less invested.

 

[Limlim]

Well dating is a different scenario yeah, looks can matter there. But the OP was talking about platonic friends.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It might be possible to find someone on strength of personality (ha... unlikely), or find that rare person who doesn't care at all about physical attraction. But I don't want to go through some giant ordeal just to be given a date... maybe... a see how it goes situation with a woman in her 30s who'll inevitably be a lot less invested.

I feel kind of bad, because it's starting to seem like you constantly place yourself with people who are all about looks, or you have genuinely never been around at least one person who you just get along with, that you can laugh with, and it really doesn't matter what they look like. I'm sure a lot of people look at me like I'm a deformed elephant foot, but I laugh with people and can talk with people, that they tend not to care.

Who are you placing yourself around that you only look at their face and determine if they're decent people or not?

 

[Zook]

The OP didn't mention people not liking him/her based on looks. He/she just hates how he/she looks and sounds like he/she wants to hide away from the world. I think this is about the OP's perception of himself/herself and being embarrassed to show photos. Not about attracting friends of partners.

 

[Tranquil]

If you can (actually) smile at yourself in the mirror. I mean, see yourself smiling, it ought to crack yourself up. When that happens, you won't care.