What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[TheSkaFish]

I'm still working on my messages, so I'm hoping this stupid computer turns on tomorrow. I've been having a lot of trouble with it this past week.

 

[Serenia]

After a conversation with a mate yesterday, keep remembering the first dates I have had. I don't think I will ever forget any of them, the worst being the guy who stuck his tongue without my permission in my mouth when I turned my head towards him, then just left it there. I call him the slug, that's what it felt like in my mouth.

 

[Solivagant]

^ Ewwww!

 

[Case]

Remembering when things were going okay, and I didn't need help, and people weren't worried about me.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I have time only until Monday to transfer all these freaking 123456789 files. I can just blame myself, silly. :club:

 

[ladyforsaken]

I've tried to forget a lot about the medical stuff I have to put up with in the past year and it has worked for the past couple of months. It's back now. Not sure how to deal with it, a little anxious to what the results will be tomorrow. Whatever it is, I believe things happen for a reason. I can't think otherwise, or it just gets very depressing.

 

[Paraiyar]

After a conversation with a mate yesterday, keep remembering the first dates I have had. I don't think I will ever forget any of them, the worst being the guy who stuck his tongue without my permission in my mouth when I turned my head towards him, then just left it there. I call him the slug, that's what it felt like in my mouth.

Not trying to defend him here but I've heard girls say that they would lose any romantic interest in a guy if he asked if he could kiss them first.

---

 

[Solivagant]

After a conversation with a mate yesterday, keep remembering the first dates I have had. I don't think I will ever forget any of them, the worst being the guy who stuck his tongue without my permission in my mouth when I turned my head towards him, then just left it there. I call him the slug, that's what it felt like in my mouth.

Not trying to defend him here but I've heard girls say that they would lose any romantic interest in a guy if he asked if he could kiss them first.

^ Well, now you've heard girls say that they would lose romantic interest in a guy if he stuck his tongue in their mouths without permission.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^So that just means, you gotta see what the girl is like to decide which action to take.

 

[Paraiyar]

After a conversation with a mate yesterday, keep remembering the first dates I have had. I don't think I will ever forget any of them, the worst being the guy who stuck his tongue without my permission in my mouth when I turned my head towards him, then just left it there. I call him the slug, that's what it felt like in my mouth.

Not trying to defend him here but I've heard girls say that they would lose any romantic interest in a guy if he asked if he could kiss them first.

^ Well, now you've heard girls say that they would lose romantic interest in a guy if he stuck his tongue in their mouths without permission.

That's my point, we end up being wrong either way.

---

^So that just means, you gotta see what the girl is like to decide which action to take.

That's kind of asking us to be mind readers though.

 

[Serenia]

After a conversation with a mate yesterday, keep remembering the first dates I have had. I don't think I will ever forget any of them, the worst being the guy who stuck his tongue without my permission in my mouth when I turned my head towards him, then just left it there. I call him the slug, that's what it felt like in my mouth.

Not trying to defend him here but I've heard girls say that they would lose any romantic interest in a guy if he asked if he could kiss them first.

^ Well, now you've heard girls say that they would lose romantic interest in a guy if he stuck his tongue in their mouths without permission.

That's my point, we end up being wrong either way.

---

^So that just means, you gotta see what the girl is like to decide which action to take.

That's kind of asking us to be mind readers though.

---

I don't need to be asked, but a little forewarning like a smile, an inclination of the head, a hesitant lean forward, is enough to know if it is going to be reciprocated. Instead of turning my head and tongue stuck in without trying to kiss was just gross, I literally gagged. I had made my body language very clear that I did not want him to come anywhere near me at all. The date was awful, he bevaved in a very different manner to what he had portrayed. I saw my friend afterwards and she said I looked green.

 

[user 115627]

Legacy issues. Didn't think it would stand in my way at some point. So far I just stayed clear and minded my own business and it was fine, nobody got put on the spot or anything. But if it was me on the other end, I wouldn't pose as an obstacle either. I'd give a good goddam reason at least.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Paraiyar, I was kinda joking with what I said. Of course, you can't mind read. But I would think one would have tried getting to know the girl first to know what she's like, whether she's the type to accept something like that or not. I'm sure one would be able to learn the character of the girl they're into if they tried to during the date. If not, then perhaps the best rule is to wait till you know her better before making such a bold move, just to be safe.

 

[SlayGuy138]

I'm in relatively decent spirits. I've had an insanely productive and unusually good past couple of days, my birthday is in like half an hour (it's 11:30 at night) and for once I'm not totally broke! Unfortunately I messed up my elbow in the mosh pit at a concert last night (**** metalheads just have to bring their beers into the pit), it's stiff and bent and it hurts when I rotate or extend it. The show was amazing but I'm gonna have to get my arm checked out sometime tomorrow morning. X-rays for my birthday!

 

[Paraiyar]

Paraiyar, I was kinda joking with what I said. Of course, you can't mind read. But I would think one would have tried getting to know the girl first to know what she's like, whether she's the type to accept something like that or not. I'm sure one would be able to learn the character of the girl they're into if they tried to during the date. If not, then perhaps the best rule is to wait till you know her better before making such a bold move, just to be safe.

Yeah, it's just sometimes you can't predict how someone will react with this even when you know them. Just seems like you can get burned either way quite easily. Seems like in my anecdotal experience the majority would be repulsed by you asking though.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Paraiyar, I was kinda joking with what I said. Of course, you can't mind read. But I would think one would have tried getting to know the girl first to know what she's like, whether she's the type to accept something like that or not. I'm sure one would be able to learn the character of the girl they're into if they tried to during the date. If not, then perhaps the best rule is to wait till you know her better before making such a bold move, just to be safe.

Yeah, it's just sometimes you can't predict how someone will react with this even when you know them. Just seems like you can get burned either way quite easily. Seems like in my anecdotal experience the majority would be repulsed by you asking though.

I would prefer to be asked first unless that person who does it is extremely and safely close to me, then I probably won't mind. Can only speak for myself though!

 

[Solivagant]

I would prefer to be asked first unless that person who does it is extremely and safely close to me, then I probably won't mind. Can only speak for myself though!

^ I as well. If you don't know then it seems to me that it would make sense to err on the side of caution and not encroach upon someone's personal space until you do know.

Also I'm pretty sure you can kiss someone without sticking your tongue in their mouth; but I've never kissed so correct me if I'm wrong. If you do try to kiss without asking, I don't see why you'd have to be that abrupt and forceful about it. Would it be so hard to take it slow and give them enough time to register your intent?

 

[Paraiyar]

Would it be so hard to take it slow and give them enough time to register your intent?

Even then, all the signals that you send might be misinterpreted. It's amazing how easily that can happen. Come to think of it I've only ever got rejected through kissing without asking once and it was fine anyhow.

 

[Solivagant]

Even then, all the signals that you send might be misinterpreted. It's amazing how easily that can happen.

If that's the case I return to my original statement and say wait until you know. If a girl has a problem with that, oh well. I think it's better to be "wrong" by respecting boundaries than to be wrong by crossing them.

 

[user 130057]

It's really not that difficult to judge whether someone wants you to kiss them, but there are ways of doing it that are much less threatening than jumping on her and shoving your tongue down her throat. In my experience, kissing usually starts out gentle and slow prior to any tongue action.

I wouldn't usually ask prior to kissing someone, but I wouldn't be upset at being rebuffed either.

This isn't solely a problem for men. There are plenty of women out there that have taken the initiative, only to be rebuffed. I don't imagine that it's any less confusing for them.