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I'm struggling to see the point in living, to see the point in anything. I'm tired of making a progress and then relapsing again. I just wish I had the courage to end it all.
I hope you're okay Orangecat... I'd hate to say the wrong thing, but deffo hoping you're okay and you'll look after yourself, your quick wit has been missed around here lately.
 
Sitting here at my computer thinking up story pitches to submit to StarTrek.com. I may not be the biggest Star Trek fan out there, but surely with the knowledge and expertise of my husband and son (both die-hard Trekkie fans), I can come up with some cool stuff. :unsure:
 
Monday is looming. Technically the clock has ticked over into Monday, but it's not official until the morning. Urgh, no lovey smoochy nonsense for me. Although, no issues with that. Instead, I have household chores and shopping. Double urgh!
Can't we rewind the clock, and have another lazy Sunday.
 
No one warned me that existence would be so much fun... to think if I had said "no!"
 
I have extreme mood changes during a day, sometimes it's from extremly happy to totally depressed, in one moment everything's okay, then suddenly I get cravings or think I just want to end up my life. I tried medication, mood stabilizer, but they didn't really help and I had a hard time with side effects. Everything is so extreme. I could Imagine it stressful for my surrounding. That's the only positive thing of not having strong social bonds, I can't negatively affect someone. Often it's stressful and I need to do a lot to prevent a crises. Craving means to fight every single minute, 15 minutes are a long time, half an hour. I had a dream last night about a better half, a someone, a relationship. It was a great dream, sadly I had to wake up. :-/
The only positive thing about mood changes: bad mood don't last long as well. But I also have to fight depression and whenever that comes into play, I try not to forget how to smile.
 
My girlfriend moving in with me this weekend.Good thing is she is going to help out and knows very well to do this.Have a spare bedroom for her.Have a great relationship with her for 25 years now.She recently divorced from her ex husband which was final last month.Her ex used her,decided to cheat on her.
 
I have not been in a good place and kinda vanished.

Also just had a conversation that got me thinking, we could make good friend's on here because by nature we're lonely and this is a safe place but stuff could happen, things change, one day a friend could disappear and we may never know why.
 
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It's always hurry hurry hurry, from one thing to the next.

This is one reason why it's so hard for me to find myself/know myself, to figure out who I am and what I want out of life and how to get anywhere. There's hardly any time to think anything through.
 
It's always hurry hurry hurry, from one thing to the next.

This is one reason why it's so hard for me to find myself/know myself, to figure out who I am and what I want out of life and how to get anywhere. There's hardly any time to think anything through.
is there no opportunity for time out, or to gain another perspective from maybe someone else. Your situation seems pretty stressful, and yet I wonder whether there are things that can be overcome with perhaps hindsight or time. You're usual the rational one amongst us.
 
I'm sad today. Lost someone, I thought it could become a good friendship. Another hard life lesson to learn. I go on in therapy. Borderline can get better. Relationships are possible one day and then people will love to be around me. You will see, I get over it by time. My strong fighting me. *hugs for me*
 
Been thinking a lot about old forums I used to hang out and post on there was a time I was on many posting all the time and I kinda don't really remember how or why that stopped memories are ******* weird in how they resurface, like I can remember people but not users or the names of some of the forums, kinda sucks would like to see if they still exist somewhere.
 
We have a strong wind now. Wow. I wanted to go for a walk, but they are gale force winds with 120km/h. I better stay at home...the waves were strong yesterday as well and burst through the front glas of a ship. Rain and wind, east sea weather. I become a real german "fishhead" (Fischkopp) :-D
 
Been thinking a lot about old forums I used to hang out and post on there was a time I was on many posting all the time and I kinda don't really remember how or why that stopped memories are ******* weird in how they resurface, like I can remember people but not users or the names of some of the forums, kinda sucks would like to see if they still exist somewhere.
I posted for years on a forum called "V7N," which was actually a web programming/design site, but a pretty tight social community arose around it that had little to do with the site's original intent. I met and talked with people from all over the world, even started some personal communications with a few and we all vowed to stay forever in touch. Well, you probably know what happened. Infighting started on certain topics, some key members were banned, resentment brewed between different camps and eventually everyone left and the site became a smouldering shadow of what it once was. A few spinoff forums started up and one or two seemed to be gaining momentum, but then everyone seemed to flee to Facebook, which could in no way capture the spirit or interaction of the old forum. We lost touch, some dropped off the internet altogether and most I have no idea what happened to. Since I only knew their forum names (with the exception of one or two people), I had no way to track them down. The V7N forum closed a year or two ago and it looks like the site went completely offline mid last year. I think I posted there regularly for 5 or 6 years, maybe more. I really miss it and all of the virtual people there, but all things must pass, so they say.
 
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Seen the architect today,plans for my vacation home that is going to be rebuilt.Happy with everything and insurance is paying for the rebuild.Lost it in a fire in November due to arson by a couple young men.These two young men are doing time for this.Have a great contractor that I am working with on.A lot of memories were lost in the fire
 

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