I feel tired. Can't wait to move and start all over. Feel like I've been out of a job for much too long, but feel conflicted about returning to daily toil where I feel unappriciated, and most importantly, underpaid. Also forgot to renew my cell phone deal, so I got to make a new deal altogether, meh. Well, at least I wasn't expecting any calls.
stalinorgel said:
Rejected.. not sure how much longer I can live like this. It's insane. God is a hateful god (it says it in the Bible--OT--I'm a Christian).. and He hates me deeply. I understand why I think. I'm just not a good person and deserve incredible misery apparently. I wish so bad I had the courage to kill myself, but I know I would go to Hell.
Hey, don't take it so harshly. You're not on any deity's black list. If there's any sort of god or has ever been, he's left this little terrarium unattended for a very long time, so I'd say it's more in the way of dis-interest rather than outright malicious, petty cruelty directed at us. If there's an entity filled with enmity with such divine powers, why not just drown us all like 'back in the good old days of the Bible'?
Man, you're not a bad person and don't deserve any 'extra misery'. That's just crazy talk, unless you've gone out of your way to punt puppies or drown kittens, hurt your fellow human beings or develop trojans or viruses...or happen to dabble in politics.
Being rejected is not the end of the world, it should not be. I know I can't give 'the right answer' like some fancy best-seller book, but I hardly think suicide is the right one, Hell or no Hell. Time heals most wounds, you'll get another chance, if you try- and there are other sources of happiness in this life, other than a spouse or a lover.
