What's up with today's kids being bullied?

[Raph]

I think that almost everyone has been bullied at one time or another during their childhood. I was bullied a lot and would end up coming home crying to my mother because nobody liked me. Until my father taught me how to fight, it was incessant. It was horrible, but I didn't go to extremes like today's kids. Just within the last 10 years, many kids being bullied have committed suicide over it for God's sake! They have even went as far as live streaming it on Facebook. I don't understand. What is it about today's children that they are willing to end their lives over something so common? I just don't get it.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

You'll probably disagree with me on this, but I feel it's because parents today are too babying and coddling for their kids. This extremely rife political correctness and made everyone so emotional fragile, that now the next generation has the thinnest-skin out of any group of people to exist.

Bullies and teasing have always been a thing, but only now it's growing to be a major epidemic? As things get more and more political correct? How would it makes sense otherwise?


I got it too growing up and it only felt minor because that's how I viewed it. Never felt the need to get drastic or kill myself; I always attempted to remedy it anyway I could, and it pretty much worked. Either by either befriending those who were riling me (It's happened more times than I can count in my entire life) or simply using those feelings as motivation and work for me, rather than against.
Neither of which hindered me.

But you can't live in a world without antagonism; it's human nature and one must adapt to it and not try to prevent it. Do you know what the human race has lived through until now, where we have almost every convenience possible and now it's harder than ever? Sorry, but I'll have to disagree.

 

[user 150037]

Bullies, I believe, are individuals who feel inadequate - putting others down gives them the illusion of power. Personally, getting crap from kids in high school has made me a stronger person - because it reminds me of what I never want to become.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think the internet has a lot to do with it. Think about it and when it started to get worse. There is way too much technology, way too many things allowing kids to get lazier and stare at screens at day. People live more in the internet world than the real world these days. It's sad and ridiculous.

And no, I'm not saying every single person does this, but a lot of them do. Too busy taking selfies and pictures and posting on social media to actually live. In my opinion, it's disgusting. (No offense meant)

 

[Moon Puppet]

I think that almost everyone has been bullied at one time or another during their childhood. I was bullied a lot and would end up coming home crying to my mother because nobody liked me. Until my father taught me how to fight, it was incessant. It was horrible, but I didn't go to extremes like today's kids. Just within the last 10 years, many kids being bullied have committed suicide over it for God's sake! They have even went as far as live streaming it on Facebook. I don't understand. What is it about today's children that they are willing to end their lives over something so common? I just don't get it.

Social media....persecution with a global audience.

Bullying wasn't relentless in my childhood - isolated playground incidents that could be 'left behind' once you reached the sanctity of home. There was always emotional respite in the form of weekends and holidays to lick your wounds before you had to face another onslaught...

Today's kids emotionally abuse each other through social media - no longer a small schoolyard gathering watching their humiliation but a global audience...trolls piling on until the victim feels a tsunami of hatred towards them.

'Happy slapping' is alive and well in the UK - my friend's daughter recently held down by a teenage boy at a train station whilst his sister took running kicks at her head - all filmed on a mobile phone and circulated throughout the school in a matter of hours.

Verbal bullying was fascile in my childhood - inane taunts and spontaneous moments of violence.  This generation knows how to destroy self-confidence and self-worth in their victim through relentless personal attacks that these kids can't escape.  It's often the last thing they read at night and the first message that greets them on their phone in the morning. 

I blame modern parents to an extent -  children largely being babysat by an ipad.
 
I blame the lack of household dining tables....nah, I'm not kidding!

Families rarely gather and eat together - the kids don't often have a natural opportunity to flag up a problem at school or talk about what's worrying them.  I know families who are happy for the kids to scamper downstairs to collect a plate of food and retire to their bedroom to resume an evening on Snap Chat. Simply - these kids are being brought up and moulded by their peer group.

If there were more shared mealtimes, parents could discuss and address issues before they become so serious a child no longer goes to school.

Somehow, there's just not the family structure there to support victims in some cases....

 

[9006]

Bullying has changed. Social media is like a whole new world that these kids think is as every bit real as reality, when you have a mentality like that and give bullies and trolls anonymity it's far easier for victims to be effected. It doesn't help that the people responsible are likely to "get away" with it, we're only recently started to clamp down on this type of bullying which is still far too late and lenient IMO.

 

[JamesOdogy]

The rest of the numbers on the field will remain white.
"I dressed like Jim. Did you notice?" John Harbaugh said at a news conference before his address at the clinic.
After their 3-0 start last season, the Bengals had two losses and a tie and wound up settling for another wild-card berth. They've reached the playoffs each of their past four seasons and lost the opening game every time.
"I thought I was going NBA," Latimer said.
Possibly.
All-Pro receiver Dez Bryant, who wasn't on the *link removed* field for both fourth-quarter touchdown drives by Dallas, is expected to miss four to six weeks after breaking his right foot in the second half.

 

[user 139760]

I remember when I got bullied when I was a kid. Twas my first busted lip and the first time I broke someone else's arm.
Kids today aren't being bullied. At least, in a great number, in the conventional sense. I think parents forget to teach them there's an "off" switch on mobile devices. Not to mention it's not "real life". People pretend a lot on the web to be those they arent and let inhibitions fly off. Which often leads them to trouble, more often than not. Maybe try to desensitise kids to the internet and social media wouldn't be a bad start.
As for those who are being bullied in the conventional sense, only advice I have is fight back. Bullies are more often than not easily terrified people. Which is why they feel the need to boost their own confidence by stealing someone else's.
Anyhow, worked for me.

 

[Moon Puppet]

I remember when I got bullied when I was a kid. Twas my first busted lip and the first time I broke someone else's arm.
Kids today aren't being bullied. At least, in a great number, in the conventional sense. I think parents forget to teach them there's an "off" switch on mobile devices. Not to mention it's not "real life". People pretend a lot on the web to be those they arent and let inhibitions fly off. Which often leads them to trouble, more often than not. Maybe try to desensitise kids to the internet and social media wouldn't be a bad start.
As for those who are being bullied in the conventional sense, only advice I have is fight back. Bullies are more often than not easily terrified people. Which is why they feel the need to boost their own confidence by stealing someone else's.
Anyhow, worked for me.

I totally agree with you.

I have parented with the code "If someone hits you - hit them back twice as hard".  If you're passive and intimidated, you remain a target. However...and it's a big 'however'...I didn't have to contend with teenagers tooled up with knives on the way home...or cope with gangs who have no conscience about tearing into one kid like a pack of hyenas.

This generation have far more complex situations to deal with.

 

[Enpatsu No Shakugan]

This generation have far more complex situations to deal with.

Examples?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I remember when I got bullied when I was a kid. Twas my first busted lip and the first time I broke someone else's arm.
Kids today aren't being bullied. At least, in a great number, in the conventional sense. I think parents forget to teach them there's an "off" switch on mobile devices. Not to mention it's not "real life". People pretend a lot on the web to be those they arent and let inhibitions fly off. Which often leads them to trouble, more often than not. Maybe try to desensitise kids to the internet and social media wouldn't be a bad start.
As for those who are being bullied in the conventional sense, only advice I have is fight back. Bullies are more often than not easily terrified people. Which is why they feel the need to boost their own confidence by stealing someone else's.
Anyhow, worked for me.

I totally agree with you.

I have parented with the code "If someone hits you - hit them back twice as hard".  If you're passive and intimidated, you remain a target. However...and it's a big 'however'...I didn't have to contend with teenagers tooled up with knives on the way home...or cope with gangs who have no conscience about tearing into one kid like a pack of hyenas.

This generation have far more complex situations to deal with.

I have to disagree.  Well, NOW I have to disagree.  I felt the same way as you two when I was a teenager.  But honestly, the whole "eye for an eye" thing doesn't really do much.  It just takes to down to their level.  You don't have to resort to violence to deal with a bully and you don't have to be passive or intimidated.

 

[user 139760]

I remember when I got bullied when I was a kid. Twas my first busted lip and the first time I broke someone else's arm.
Kids today aren't being bullied. At least, in a great number, in the conventional sense. I think parents forget to teach them there's an "off" switch on mobile devices. Not to mention it's not "real life". People pretend a lot on the web to be those they arent and let inhibitions fly off. Which often leads them to trouble, more often than not. Maybe try to desensitise kids to the internet and social media wouldn't be a bad start.
As for those who are being bullied in the conventional sense, only advice I have is fight back. Bullies are more often than not easily terrified people. Which is why they feel the need to boost their own confidence by stealing someone else's.
Anyhow, worked for me.

I totally agree with you.

I have parented with the code "If someone hits you - hit them back twice as hard".  If you're passive and intimidated, you remain a target. However...and it's a big 'however'...I didn't have to contend with teenagers tooled up with knives on the way home...or cope with gangs who have no conscience about tearing into one kid like a pack of hyenas.

This generation have far more complex situations to deal with.

I did.
Gangs, knives and whatnot are at least as old as humanity is. Probably happenned way more often 400 years ago that a kid would be held up behind the town bakery with a knife to his throat. Only way back then...they probably killed him. And raped him. And it didnt make the papers. No papers to be had.

The problems are the same. Same as they've always been. What changes is our outlook. But reality doesn't change and neither has Man in the last few thousand years. Not overly.

Cal, I used to think like that. Couple of scars later and prolonged being followed around when I was a kid changed my views somewhat. In theory, I agree. But in actuality, well...situations are always fluid.

 

[user 115627]

I'd say it's best not to deal in absolutes here. I know a lot of people say that bullies are insecure and all that but when you are dealing with gangs and teenage psychopaths as mentioned above I doubt that an attitude of moral superiority and pacifism will help you much. If you are not a fighter, it's best to hide or hope that a report to a higher authority will resolve a situation. You won't always be able to tell who is just putting up a front and who will snap when you challenge them. It's not just a game though so be careful about rocking the boat.

I don't think kids are being bullied significantly more than in the past. They just didn't even have a term for that back in the day and as Richard said, a lot of conflicts would just end up immediately in violence instead of turning into a prolonged period of psychological torture, nowadays amplified by social media. I partially agree with what was said earlier too, we are a bit more sensitive and mentally fragile due to modernity. And for every person whose bullying is amplified by social media, there's another who is turned into a narcissist by mass validation from a worldwide audience.

 

[Joturbo]

The bullies at my school when they turned up or weren't in detention tended to roam the play grounds in a group of five.All but one were biult like brickshit houses ...there was no question of fighting back just keep out of their way and hope you didnt get picked on .

 

[ardour]

Bullying among young people doesn't seem any worse than it was 20 years ago, just with the addition of social media harassment.

I can only remember a handful of people who WEREN'T nasty back in the day (90's/early 2000s). People were incredibly superficial like most young people are, but more adult/sophisticated in the way they socially excluded and mocked people. Needless to say there aren't many good memories of that period. Teenagers today seem more more naive and sensitive if anything, more behind development wise.

 

[ahsatan]

Of course kids are killing themselves. Being bullied is torture and they just want the pain to stop.

 

[harper]

Probably better to teach them to harden up than to reward them for being victims. But that would mean spending time with them and giving them the sense of self worth that good parents used to impart.

 

[ShellShock]

Well, it's NOT about the children. And I suspect bulling have been much worse in the past rather than now. 
It's just internet/current mainstream culture, kids have access or hear on the news on TV or rumors from other people who know about other kids dealing with unconventional ways of bullying so they copy. 
And maybe not everybody has a father or someone who will teach them to stand up for themselves and there are kids who have it worse than you did or are mentally weaker.
So I believe if kids back then generally had more of such inspirations they too would be tempted to follow. 

I suspect bullying got less bad lately, but I can't speak for EVERY school there is.

 

[ahsatan]

I think it's the children. Most are sociopathic. I knew lots going up.