Why am I pretending to be ok?

[M_also_lonely]

I wonder why some people choose to be abused verbally. That too, for years

You summed up what I was trying to say perfectly, thank you!

It's not always that easy to get out. A lot of things aren't so cut-paste-dry.

You mean, everything isn't a clear cut choice and excuse? Because just a few replies ago, when someone and I told exactly what you said, we were told that thinking such a thing is an excuse.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wonder why some people choose to be abused verbally. That too, for years

You summed up what I was trying to say perfectly, thank you!

It's not always that easy to get out. A lot of things aren't so cut-paste-dry.

You mean, everything isn't a clear cut choice and excuse? Because when I told what you said, I was told that it is an excuse.

It may or may not be a clear cut choice. Everyone is different, and responds to their situation in their own way. You're probably just going to argue with me simply because you don't like me, but the original question of this entire thread sums it up. Pretending. Some may pretend like it's okay or act as though it's not as bad because they don't want to see it as being that bad. It's not always so easy to actually get away, even if one does realize that it's not a good situation to be in.

 

[M_also_lonely]

You mean, everything isn't a clear cut choice and excuse? Because when I told what you said, I was told that it is an excuse.

It may or may not be a clear cut choice. Everyone is different, and responds to their situation in their own way. You're probably just going to argue with me simply because you don't like me, but the original question of this entire thread sums it up. Pretending. Some may pretend like it's okay or act as though it's not as bad because they don't want to see it as being that bad. It's not always so easy to actually get away, even if one does realize that it's not a good situation to be in.

No its not Because I don't like you. Off-course I don't, we know reasons for that, but that's a different issue and its irrelevant to this.
Well my question was pretty short clear. And my purpose too. Question being that is everything a choice or not? To which we have received two contradicting responses. Which I was trying to figure out, is true.
And the purpose for me asking this question was to reach a conclusion on whether the abuse I have been through when I was merely 2-3, was my choice or not. It sends me chills when someone tells me that it was a choice of mine and the fact that its an excuse that I didn't choose not to go through that. That too, in a quite generalized form.
There doesn't seem the involvement of any element of dislike towards any person in my previous reply. Its just a short question.
And what you said, "It may or may not be a clear cut choice. Everyone is different, and responds to their situation in their own way." was my argument as well.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Now this is inappropriate, in my opinion. Its like telling a girl: "It was your choice that you got abused (can't use that word) by that man." And if she says no, telling her: "That's an excuse."  This is wrong. 
Not every behavior of ours is a choice. Our actions are a result of our beliefs. And we form our beliefs by interacting with our surroundings and the experience we get from them. Otherwise, every human would have same beliefs and thinking: The most efficient beliefs and thinking. But that is not the case.

It WAS a choice to be abused, because I CHOSE to stay with him for years.  So yeah, it was my fault my too.  

I was one of the weak women who couldn't take care of themselves and stupidly stayed in an abusive relationship.
Is that what you were waiting to hear, M?  Or maybe you just wanted me to argue with you. lol  Sorry, not going to happen.  My past is what it is.  I wasn't the same person I am now. I have no shame or regrets for any part of my life.

EVERY decision you make in this life is a choice.  Just because you choose what you don't want because the other option is undesirable doesn't make it less of a choice.

 

[M_also_lonely]

 , because I CHOSE to stay with him for years.  So yeah, it was my fault my too.  

none of my business

 I was one of the weak women who couldn't take care of themselves and stupidly stayed in an abusive relationship. 

Is that what you were waiting to hear, M?  Or maybe you just wanted me to argue with you.

No and No.  I think you should read my reply I wrote after the one you are quoting. That will make my intentions clear. Its not about you and your personal life, I would be least interested in that and it wouldn't help me strengthen my views that i have towards women. I have better options for that. So stop making false assumptions.
 
 EVERY decision you make in this life is a choice.  Just because you choose what you don't want because the other option is undesirable doesn't make it less of a choice.
and

It WAS a choice to be abused

Do read that reply I made before this one and it will make things clear on what I was trying to say and why., especially about "Choice"