Why Do Good Women Stay With Bad Men?(Seriously)

[Hoffy]

If by taco you mean a woman's sexual organ, then your right.

Gosh damn it AK! You always crack me up.

On topic though. It's just hard to leave. Some men and women are just flat out crazy and if you tried to leave they may kill you, your family, the kids if there are any. On what some of the others were saying, women are just as capable of being abusive toward men as men toward women. The problem isn't gender, the problem is breaking the cycle of abuse.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Very true Hoffy.

 

[LoneKiller]

If it's one thing that truly saddens me about this abuse, it is the couple who have children that witness this terrible scene between mommy and daddy. It's extremely hard on their psyche.

 

[flaneur]

When I was a kid, my father used to beat my mother in front of me, sometimes even choking her. :/

I still think I turned out alright. (wary)

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Exactly, Hoffy. Well said.

I'd also like to state that sometimes having kids can create a cycle of fear for mothers. My sis's ex held the murder of her baby over her head, as well as her own murder, and that was enough to keep her around him and scared.

I don't understand men like that, but there's no denying that they exist.

 

[LoneKiller]

When I was a kid, my father used to beat my mother in front of me, sometimes even choking her. :/

I still think I turned out alright. (wary)

I'm sorry to hear that flaneur. I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories for you.

 

[flaneur]

No worries, LK. It's all in the past.

 

[Limlim]

My ex girlfriend had to go to counciling because she abused her ex boyfriend (before me). No one there believed her when she said she needed help.

She eventually tried hitting me, but then I pulled my pants down and showed her my ass, and threatened not to put my ass away until she stopped. I think it confused her so much that she did.

Not sure where I was going with this. I wonder how normal males deal with abuse...

 

[flaneur]

Just goes to show that it goes both ways.

She eventually tried hitting me, but then I pulled my pants down and showed her my ass, and threatened not to put my ass away until she stopped. I think it confused her so much that she did.

 

[kamya]

I'm far too dark and evil when it comes to getting back at people that have seriously wronged me. Not manipulative, just incredible levels of troll. I don't think I want to imagine what kinds of plans I would scheme for the girlfriend that tries to get abusive with me.

As for women. I know that fear of my safety is what got her to leave my very abusive and threatening biological father. To this day I still only know his face through pictures. Apparently he used to abuse her a lot and would always threaten to kill us both if she ever left him. All I know is that she left in the middle of the night and moved from Ohio to Florida. And that was the last she heard of him. Maybe it takes seeing someone else being mistreated to snap them out of their delusions.

 

[LoneKiller]

I know a husband and wife who are both 4th degree black belts. Could you imagine what kind an altercation that would turn out to be?!

 

[SophiaGrace]

There would be a lot of Hiyah!!!!!'s in the midst of sounds of breaking glass and splintering wood wouldn't there.

 

[kamya]

It would probably be like something out of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

 

[LoneKiller]

There would be a lot of Hiyah!!!!!'s in the midst of sounds of breaking glass and splintering wood wouldn't there.

Probably. lol

Technically, men are supposed to be stronger than women, but when it comes to martial arts, that's not always the case. Just because you may have more power, doesn't mean that you are the better fighter.

 

[freedom]

before i begin, i just want to clarify that i'm not bashing on women. it's just that i've wondered this myself many times, and so i've asked myself this many times. i've also asked this many other people this, and they usually give me the same responses. you'll notice i'm not specifying a gender in my response. men get abused too believe it or not.

1. they need their spouse for financial support.
2. they take their wedding vows VERY seriously
3. they still have hope that their spouse will change
4. they stay for the kids
5. they have an outlet that levels the pain
6. their love for their spouse far outweighs their contempt for their spouse
7. they literally can't imagine living any other way
8. they figure they're all the same

...and that's all i can remember.

 

[oopsiedoop]

Nobody here is saying that men have it worse or that women getting raped isn't that big of a deal.

And yet that's exactly where it goes -- concentrating on the plite of the three men out of 100. I am concerned for women. Women are my concern. The rest of the world will concentrate on the three men who are slapped instead of the women who are beaten black and blue and live in terror and despair, because they are men and that's what's important. Why would they need help against someone 60 pounds and a lot of muscle less than them? And, it prohibits women from taking power. It's ok to feel for women as long as they stay victims and have none. They're not a threat, they have no power, things are as they should be. But not to do anything so they actually do.

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Just goes to show that it goes both ways.

See

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women are just as capable of being abusive toward men as men toward women. The problem isn't gender, the problem is breaking the cycle of abuse.

And see

I made my points in my first few posts. Now people are just repeating arguments I already addressed.

 

[Limlim]

what sort of power are you proposing giving women right now which they do not have? My idea is to give them exoskeletions that enhance strength... because that would be really badass.

However that is my inner geek / engineer speaking, and I imagine it isn't quite what you have in mind.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think i understand what oopsie is saying. It's like white people saying "we are discriminated against!" when issues of economic disparity and racism are brought up. Somehow seems, like the issue is being hijacked somehow.

Although I dated a guy that had been sexually abused as a boy. It affected our relationship. It didn't make him abusive, rather, intimidated, introverted and fearful.

Should we amend it to say No one should ever be abused? An inclusive title that bans certain actions? Would that take away from the true problem like White People crying out over there being no white history month? And the answer in response to that would be "every month is white history month. History is taught from your perspective instead of ours, and you don't want us to have a MONTH?"


Interesting to ponder.

 

[kamya]

Nobody here is saying that men have it worse or that women getting raped isn't that big of a deal.

And yet that's exactly where it goes -- concentrating on the plite of the three men out of 100. I am concerned for women. Women are my concern. The rest of the world will concentrate on the three men who are slapped instead of the women who are beaten black and blue and live in terror and despair, because they are men and that's what's important. Why would they need help against someone 60 pounds and a lot of muscle less than them? And, it prohibits women from taking power. It's ok to feel for women as long as they stay victims and have none. They're not a threat, they have no power, things are as they should be. But not to do anything so they actually do.

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No you have this completely backwards. It is the men that no one cares about. That have no support when it comes to domestic abuse, child custody, and being financially raped in divorce court. I don't know how the thread even got onto this subject but on this you are completely wrong.

It is the rest of the world that is supporting the feminist movement and providing all of the support and help for women while ignoring or trivializing men's problems. You are kidding yourself if you think you are one lone woman on this crusade.

I also have no idea what this "power" is that you are talking about. What magical power was I born with that you were not?

 

[Hoffy]

Men should have just as much help and concern as women who get beat. It's not always the man who is bigger. I have weighed more and been taller than some of my boyfriends. It doesn't really matter who is being beat. We should all care about everyone.