why do guys always say this stuff to me why compare me to others

[Dark_Poet]

Here is something I wrote for you:


You may feel unlucky
You may feel unloved
Look inside of yourself
Give her a big hug

We all struggle with life
This is true
When will you give yourself whats due

Look into your soul
Its broken and sad
Not ugly or bad
Just wounded

You don't need someone to fill the empty spaces
You can be your own best friend

Through growth and learning
You can better your journey
You don't need a man
No reason to hurry

Focus on whats inside
Learn to love what's there
There's more to life then pretty skin and hair

You only see whats "wrong" with you.
There may be plenty that's good too
Until you learn to accept yourself
You'll still be stuck in the same shoes

Surely but slowly
You'll begin to change
Things won't remain the same
One day you'll even learn his name

Just keep fighting
Forget the critics
I've given you the keys
Its up to you to set yourself free

 

[unlucky in life]

WHY MALES ALWAYS TELL ME I AM WORTHLESS AND COMPARE TO ANY WOMAN IN WORLD AS LONGS AS ITS NOT ME THEY WANT

Because you see yourself as worthless. If you read back to all your previous posts and threads, you'd see how much you put yourself down. If you do that to yourself, don't be shocked if others do it to you. I'm never going to be a model, and I'm never going to be pretty, but I don't put myself down.

but you are not me if see post the above what i have written i tend attract ******* its seem but nice guy just scum bags and ****** bags . who have the problems not me .i tend to be attract to psychos and guys who think women are sex object how do i get these guys
is there no nice decent guys in there world it seem we gone time of Spartacus time in Rome if you have seen spatus the tv series see how men treat women its seem we have gone back 1700 Rome Italy

 

[Hoffy]

Here is something I wrote for you:


You may feel unlucky
You may feel unloved
Look inside of yourself
Give her a big hug

We all struggle with life
This is true
When will you give yourself whats due

Look into your soul
Its broken and sad
Not ugly or bad
Just wounded

You don't need someone to fill the empty spaces
You can be your own best friend

Through growth and learning
You can better your journey
You don't need a man
No reason to hurry

Focus on whats inside
Learn to love what's there
There's more to life then pretty skin and hair

You only see whats "wrong" with you.
There may be plenty that's good too
Until you learn to accept yourself
You'll still be stuck in the same shoes

Surely but slowly
You'll begin to change
Things won't remain the same
One day you'll even learn his name

Just keep fighting
Forget the critics
I've given you the keys
Its up to you to set yourself free

Aww DP, you're so sweet.

Unlucky listen to this man!!!!!

 

[Ox Blood]

Unlucky: Let's be honest here. You don't want a nice guy. It seems like you look (or actively stalk, rather) ********. You choose to surround yourself with them.

If you gave nice guys half the time of day that you spend feeling sorry for yourself over how ******** treat you, which is exactly how you ALLOW yourself be treated, you might actually be in much favorable position.

Example: Plenty of wonderful people in this thread have been more than gracious to you by offering their advice, help, and support -- but you choose to ignore them. One poster even wrote you a beautiful poem that you dismissed.

If you want to rant/whine, then by all means, do it freely. But stop wasting people's time and taking advantage of people's good nature by asking for help. You obviously don't want it, because you won't help yourself, nor will you even acknowledge those who are actually kind enough to even bother trying to help -- even after you've been rude enough to ignore them.

 

[unlucky in life]

Unlucky: Let's be honest here. You don't want a nice guy. It seems like you look (or actively stalk, rather) ********. You choose to surround yourself with them.

If you gave nice guys half the time of day that you spend feeling sorry for yourself over how ******** treat you, which is exactly how you ALLOW yourself be treated, you might actually be in much favorable position.

Example: Plenty of wonderful people in this thread have been more than gracious to you by offering their advice, help, and support -- but you choose to ignore them. One poster even wrote you a beautiful poem that you dismissed.

If you want to rant/whine, then by all means, do it freely. But stop wasting people's time and taking advantage of people's good nature by asking for help. You obviously don't want it, because you won't help yourself, nor will you even acknowledge those who are actually kind enough to even bother trying to help -- even after you've been rude enough to ignore them.

i am sorry when did you come expert on me when you know nothing about my situation in life and what i have been through in life and tell me about my situation so tell me about my self where i grew up and where i went to school who thought since you know all about what's my pps number since you are such expert on me . me tell me my age am i . if can tell me this we talk other that leave me alone . now if read further see my efforts but didn't you did read further back about my efforts you are no expert me.
i don't whine or rant .


I ALSO LIVE IN DIFFERENT TIME ZONE FROM YOU IF READ WHERE I CAME FROM WHICH YOU DIDN'T . so start given out if didn't read the rest of it .
i am getting tired abuse from people so tired it would drive any one to suicide and ingrate weather it lack education or high of cheek i don't know

 

[Ox Blood]

At the end of the day, you only respond to negativity or anyone that you believe to be "challenging" you. That's sad, and you know why? Because you'll never stop to appreciate the good things around you, even when it's staring you back in the face.

I dare you to step away from the comfort of your own misery and outside of yourself for a moment -- at least THANK the people who gave it an honest effort to help and support you.

 

[Hoffy]

At the end of the day, you only respond to negativity or anyone that you believe to be "challenging" you. That's sad, and you know why? Because you'll never stop to appreciate the good things around you, even when it's staring you back in the face.

I dare you to step away from the comfort of your own misery and outside of yourself for a moment -- at least THANK the people who gave it an honest effort to help and support you.

+1

 

[Lonely in BC]

Unlucky: Let's be honest here. You don't want a nice guy. It seems like you look (or actively stalk, rather) ********. You choose to surround yourself with them.

If you gave nice guys half the time of day that you spend feeling sorry for yourself over how ******** treat you, which is exactly how you ALLOW yourself be treated, you might actually be in much favorable position.

Example: Plenty of wonderful people in this thread have been more than gracious to you by offering their advice, help, and support -- but you choose to ignore them. One poster even wrote you a beautiful poem that you dismissed.

If you want to rant/whine, then by all means, do it freely. But stop wasting people's time and taking advantage of people's good nature by asking for help. You obviously don't want it, because you won't help yourself, nor will you even acknowledge those who are actually kind enough to even bother trying to help -- even after you've been rude enough to ignore them.

i am sorry when did you come expert on me when you know nothing about my situation in life and what i have been through in life and tell me about my situation so tell me about my self where i grew up and where i went to school who thought since you know all about what's my pps number since you are such expert on me . me tell me my age am i . if can tell me this we talk other that leave me alone . now if read further see my efforts but didn't you did read further back about my efforts you are no expert me.
i don't whine or rant .

K, it might not be whining or ranting as you define it but there is a whole lot of complaining in regards to how you are treated and it always seems to lead back to guys who you perceive as mistreating you. We don't know anything about your interactions with them but it always comes down to them (as you describe it) being abusive to you.

YOU came back on ALL asking why you seem to get treated this way and YOU asked for help. By doing that it was YOU who opened the door for feedback. Ox Blood didn't wrong you by any means with the given response yet you came back with a response that can only be described as churlish. O.B.'s observations were right on the money- you are dismissive of kindness, good advice, and trying to help you. I have to be honest with you, if you respond to any of these guys that allegedly abuse you in the same way you respond here it's no surprise that you get blocked on FaceBook.

You made a comment to O.B. about not being a professional thus not being qualified to help you- I don't think there are many of us on ALL who are professionals in regards to mental health issues and sociology other than our own life experiences yet you asked for our help- why choose to lambaste people pointing out the obvious- its pretty dam confusing at this point as to just what it is you want here?

By doing nothing to change your situation in life you come across as someone who has given up or never really tried to begin with. If you do nothing to change it it seems to me (and others as well I would guess) that you're actually comfortable with your current existence. We can't change anything for you, only you can do that.

I suspect you're going to attempt to come back with one of your infamous retorts and attempt to insult me- save it for someone else, I've got a pretty thick skin and nothing you have to throw at me will remotely affect me.

Good luck to you, with the attitude you show here I suspect that's the only thing that may pull you out of your misery.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I am male, and I don't hate you.

If you want me to, you could pm me your pic, and I could give suggestions on how to improve. But here are some things that I would suggest, without knowing what you look like

- Get better clothes
- Exercise as much as possible (this will not only help you lose weight, but it will improve your mood, since exercise is linked to endorphins)
- Immerse yourself in a hobby. This can be art, music, writing, sports, whatever you're good at. Surely you're good at something? Everyone has some talent. Whatever it is that you're good at, besides creating long and repetitive threads on here, do that.
- Smile at people. If you scowl at people all the time, they won't like you.
- Eye contact, same thing. People like to know that you're listening to them.
- If you wear glasses, update them. Get better frames that fit your face, and increase your self esteem. Ask the person at the glasses place to help you out.

Other than that, I will address specific things. Why can't you get a driver's license? Is it because you're scared, or are you disabled?

We have disabled people on here, and they are lonely, but they don't let their disability get in the way of their happiness. I myself have ADD, Bipolar, and social anxiety, yet I go out and talk to people. I don't socialize every week, but every now and then I go to a party or go to a concert.

And English may not be your best subject, but you're perfectly able to express yourself. That's not why people are angry at you. They are angry at you, because you repeat the same broken record all the time, about how you're so depressed and nobody wants to be around you (which I can understand, because you have a poisonous attitude, at least on here.)

 

[Astral_Punisher]

There are some great people trying to help you here.
And you have had some tough experiences in Real Life.

I would only add to the previous poster's advice:
You say you have a brother in a very similar negative state as you.

Can you and your brother work together to attain a better lot in life?
Perhaps move away from your parents?

I wish you the best of luck, UnluckyInLife.
And I hope your name is the opposite of what you attain .

 

[Limlim]

There is the possibility that she is looking for sympathy rather than advice, but not really realizing it herself and posing said plea as a request for help. Lots of times when people bitch and complain they aren't interested in solutions, rather than someone going 'You're right! You are very hard done by, poor you! "

Or something of that nature?

 

[Ox Blood]

What gets my goat is that there is pages of posters (and numerous other threads) who have taken the time out of their day and consideration to write heartfelt things or actually give a damn -- yet they are brushed off.

But any response remotely seen as "challenging" or "threatening" by the OP, gets an immediate response and is then given energy to actually be distorted and manipulated to bits and pieces. Don't care if the OP hates my guts or tries to make me the bad guy, frankly.

At least acknowledge or show gratitude toward those that are trying to lift you up the best they can.

 

[MadMonkè]

I dont need thanks for my advice.
I just hope it works for who ever takes it lol

wear sunscreen

 

[Tiina63]

I really think that you need professional help, as I said before. You need someone who can break into the dark place you are in and help you recover. All of the support and compliments you have got here haven't got through to you, because you aren't ready to hear them or take them on board. You need to work with someone professional who can give you one to one attention on a regular basis. I am like you in that my lack of self worth has led me into some awful relationships, but now I am trying hard to change this. A big part of me would love to meet someone now because I am so lonely, but I know that I would only attract someone abusive or who would take me at my own low self evaluation and not think much of me. As someone suggested, maybe you and your brother could leave home together and build lives for yourselves. You are so lucky to have a brother, as at least you are not totally alone in your situation.

 

[VanillaCreme]

There is the possibility that she is looking for sympathy rather than advice, but not really realizing it herself and posing said plea as a request for help. Lots of times when people bitch and complain they aren't interested in solutions, rather than someone going 'You're right! You are very hard done by, poor you! "

Or something of that nature?

You're probably right, Lim. But who here, who knows how directionless her threads and posts are, would actually tell her that...

 

[unlucky in life]

I really think that you need professional help, as I said before. You need someone who can break into the dark place you are in and help you recover. All of the support and compliments you have got here haven't got through to you, because you aren't ready to hear them or take them on board. You need to work with someone professional who can give you one to one attention on a regular basis. I am like you in that my lack of self worth has led me into some awful relationships, but now I am trying hard to change this. A big part of me would love to meet someone now because I am so lonely, but I know that I would only attract someone abusive or who would take me at my own low self evaluation and not think much of me. As someone suggested, maybe you and your brother could leave home together and build lives for yourselves. You are so lucky to have a brother, as at least you are not totally alone in your situation.

i think for the likes of you and me we are unlucky in life people don't understand because there never been there .have the experience we had all they do think know when they know nothing . its like telling pilot how fly plane when they even sat in plane let alone fly it just like here .
we both come absuse places .they can't understadn that .the past effect you future people have runined mine like those guys up there all city guys with every thing i live isolated countryside town with no body we have one nightclub in entire place one sport shop in entire place i have travel 40 miles to buy clothes and shoes city folk don't have to do that i don't think even know .i went live in city its was another world to me with there own i have never seen so many people i didn;;t know hoe cope with this amount people consider where i came from .

i tell you some thing weird
there was on mark one mark on the wall now where i come we buy paint and brush it over our selves . but in the city they paid painter £20 to briush the paint mark now do you see the differnce

 

[Tiina63]

Hi unlucky in life, I think that although a lot of people in general might not understand our situations, a lot of people on this site do, because they are lonely and hurting themselves. I agree that, unless someone has been abused, they proably won't be able to relate to our experiences, but so many people here have been abused, bullied and put down, so can understand us. It can be impossible to recover alone when the wounds are too deep, though, which is why I think you need a therapist who can help you to untangle your feelings and thoughts and try to help you develop self esteem. It is a hard process, though, because you will be reliving emotionally a lot of painful stuff and will be -if you are like me- wanting to find someone to cling to to make you feel better and to push aside the bad feelings.
But the alternative is to stay where you are emotionally which is no solution.
Also, your geographical location is unhelpful for you. I live in a town, so there are more chances to meet people and build a social life. This is another reason why moving might be good for you.

 

[kaetic]

i think for the likes of you and me we are unlucky in life people don't understand because there never been there .have the experience we had all they do think know when they know nothing . its like telling pilot how fly plane when they even sat in plane let alone fly it just like here .
we both come absuse places .they can't understadn that .the past effect you future people have runined mine like those guys up there all city guys with every thing i live isolated countryside town with no body we have one nightclub in entire place one sport shop in entire place i have travel 40 miles to buy clothes and shoes city folk don't have to do that i don't think even know .i went live in city its was another world to me with there own i have never seen so many people i didn;;t know hoe cope with this amount people consider where i came from .

i tell you some thing weird
there was on mark one mark on the wall now where i come we buy paint and brush it over our selves . but in the city they paid painter £20 to briush the paint mark now do you see the differnce
[/quote]


I think that is a wonderful idea, getting a job as a painter in the city. It's true people will probably pay you a lot more in the city than where you are now. I know it's a hard move, not being accustomed to so many people. But that is really brave and great step forward. Good Luck to you I know you'll make a brilliant painter. If you decide that's not for you, maybe you have some other ideas you'd like to share.

 

[unlucky in life]

i think for the likes of you and me we are unlucky in life people don't understand because there never been there .have the experience we had all they do think know when they know nothing . its like telling pilot how fly plane when they even sat in plane let alone fly it just like here .
we both come absuse places .they can't understadn that .the past effect you future people have runined mine like those guys up there all city guys with every thing i live isolated countryside town with no body we have one nightclub in entire place one sport shop in entire place i have travel 40 miles to buy clothes and shoes city folk don't have to do that i don't think even know .i went live in city its was another world to me with there own i have never seen so many people i didn;;t know hoe cope with this amount people consider where i came from .

i tell you some thing weird
there was on mark one mark on the wall now where i come we buy paint and brush it over our selves . but in the city they paid painter £20 to briush the paint mark now do you see the differnce

I think that is a wonderful idea, getting a job as a painter in the city. It's true people will probably pay you a lot more in the city than where you are now. I know it's a hard move, not being accustomed to so many people. But that is really brave and great step forward. Good Luck to you I know you'll make a brilliant painter. If you decide that's not for you, maybe you have some other ideas you'd like to share.
[/quote]
i am not becoming a painter its point i making people don't people from differnt place .i can't explain its just i have been to 20 counsellors up and down the country none had clue to help me . i am just can't be help i have through too much hurt person i knew delete me from facebook at 3 o clock in the morning who was prick. i just can't be help ok i just. i come to find people who might be like me .but none are irish here and come country lifestyle . just tell you how bad it is for me its only getting worse

 

[kaetic]

Oh, I'm really sorry. I guess I misunderstood. I think I understand now. You like computers better than painting? The social media is a really good way to advertise. So if you were going to at some point become a painter I think Facebook is a great idea. Probably not at 3am though. Maybe he was tired and grouchy. Most business hours are 9am-5pm. Although you could probably charge extra if they wanted you to paint after 5pm or on weekends. But you're right there are too many painters in the city, and since you have those counselors in the country to see you probably don't want to move too far. I think it's really innovative that you want to bring that profession to the country. I wish you best of luck in starting your new business. I think it will be very good for you to keep busy in such a productive way.