Why Don't You Just Have One

[stalinorgel]

I think (speaking for the males here--well, no, myself), females are so incredibly intimidating. So beautiful, yet so distant. If one approaches them for anything resembling love or a relationship very bad things can happen. Souls are crushed. The ego becomes damned to the pits of self-hate.

Women are truly just too beautiful (even so-called ugly ones) to be approachable--too beautiful and soft and lovable for their own good. Their power is overwhelming over the male of the species, as we are generally not very attractive and can be a bit bumbling before the awe of the female's charm of essentially omnipotent lovableness. It's a shame.

I (and i think many men would agree with me) truly wish I was born a homosexual. No worries about approaching semi-goddesses whose beauty one is in awe of.. approaching these beings of such softness, quaintness, and such kawaii-ness (yes, I used the term, I know of no other describe it).. Being a homosexual would make things so much easier.. you're just dealing with dudes who are just like you... and you love eachother.. and uh, have ***. God I wish I was gay.

I know, i know.. Women are human beings just like us males, but in a sense they're not.

 

[Badjedidude]

I (and i think many men would agree with me) truly wish I was born a homosexual. No worries about approaching semi-goddesses whose beauty one is in awe of.. approaching these beings of such softness, quaintness, and such kawaii-ness (yes, I used the term, I know of no other describe it).. Being a homosexual would make things so much easier.. you're just dealing with dudes who are just like you... and you love eachother.. and uh, have ***. God I wish I was gay.

Uhhh no. lol I do not wish that at all. Sorry!

BTW you CAN turn gay if you want to. Just... throwin' it out there. lol

I think (speaking for the males here--well, no, myself), females are so incredibly intimidating. So beautiful, yet so distant. If one approaches them for anything resembling love or a relationship very bad things can happen. Souls are crushed. The ego becomes damned to the pits of self-hate.

Women are truly just too beautiful (even so-called ugly ones) to be approachable--too beautiful and soft and lovable for their own good. Their power is overwhelming over the male of the species, as we are generally not very attractive and can be a bit bumbling before the awe of the female's charm of essentially omnipotent lovableness. It's a shame.

Yer puttin' the ***** on a pedestal, man.

Seriously. I love women and I think they're the most beautiful thing on this planet, but that doesn't make me afraid to go near them or in awe of their greatness or something. Because being a MAN is also ******* awesome. In all of the ways that women are completely amazing, so are men in their own ways.

You're speaking like women are some sort of fragile, crystalline entity that may not DARE be approached.... and that's seriously a sort of ****** up way to view women. It takes their humanity away from them; it denies them their right to **** up and make mistakes and cause trouble like the rest of us. Because they do.

Don't insult women by making them more than they are, man.

 

[stalinorgel]

BTW you CAN turn gay if you want to. Just... throwin' it out there. lol

really? i am seriously interested in knowing how. it was to my knowledge that homosexuality was an inborn condition that has to do with hormonal balance in the womb. i've actually tried becoming gay, by, uh, doing my thang to gay ****ography and such, but it never worked.. i'm simply not attracted to guys.. i know this probably sounds bizarre, but yes, i do actually crave intimate love that much to stoop to such a depth..

Yer puttin' the ***** on a pedestal, man.

Seriously. I love women and I think they're the most beautiful thing on this planet, but that doesn't make me afraid to go near them or in awe of their greatness or something. Because being a MAN is also ******* awesome. In all of the ways that women are completely amazing, so are men in their own ways.

You're speaking like women are some sort of fragile, crystalline entity that may not DARE be approached.... and that's seriously a sort of ****** up way to view women. It takes their humanity away from them; it denies them their right to **** up and make mistakes and cause trouble like the rest of us. Because they do.

Don't insult women by making them more than they are, man.

I was expecting this response, and in essence, you're right. It's not so much as putting their ****** on a pedestal, but there is nothing like the love of a woman.. holding her.. kissing her.. loving her and being loved.. heck, i don't even really desire *** with a woman... just holding her and making out would be so awesome for me.

I had a relationship when i was 17, it was my first and last, and let me say, even so much as having her sit on my lap and make out with me was better than ANY drug i've ever done, including the 90mgs of oxycodone and 4mg of xanax im on now. Better than any heroin i've ever had.. it was incredible. God i desire that once again.. i'd give up all my drug use for the love of a woman.

I'm really not sure I was insulting them by praising them in the manner that i did, but it is something akin to it, but in a positive way. I dunno man, I dunno.

 

[Dessa]

Stalinorgel, your comment reminds me of this quote from a tv show called Psych.

"You treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a Greek Goddess, then a person again." -Sean

Women love to be adored, sometimes. Most of the time we just want to be your equal.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@stalinorgel: Well I cannot share your sentiment about wanting to be a homosexual.

I can relate to women being intimidating though. One female I see everyday at the gym in particular. I am still working on getting over it. Which is hard since several guys are always flirting with her.

Anyway, I agree with Badjedidude, you are putting the ***** on the pedestal. Stop that friend, you are only holding yourself back.

 

[Badjedidude]

really? i am seriously interested in knowing how. it was to my knowledge that homosexuality was an inborn condition that has to do with hormonal balance in the womb. i've actually tried becoming gay, by, uh, doing my thang to gay ****ography and such, but it never worked.. i'm simply not attracted to guys.. i know this probably sounds bizarre, but yes, i do actually crave intimate love that much to stoop to such a depth..

Personally, I believe that homosexuality is not ONLY inborn. It can be learned or taught as well. Just depends on your environment and upbringing, as well as what events transpire in your life, as well as your genes.

 

[Stormrider]

Just do it, go out and have an relationship, simple as that.
Tell that to the people who are handicapped and are sitting in a wheelchair,
people that have skin diseases and are embarrassed of their own body,
people that have only had negative reactions from everyone their whole life,
This list can go on and on, if it was just an issue of going out there, it wouldn't be such a big problem would it ?

 

[Ak5]

Whew a year old thread.

My thoughts: I agree/disagree with AFrozenSoul. If you want a significant other you have to work for it and dedicate yourself. Easier said than done, but it is the only way. Whining all day does nothing, getting out there and facing your fears does work.

 

[Aube]

A few posts on this thread introduce the notion of finding a boyfriend/girlfriend as if you're looking for a job or a house. Just go out with your best CV and there you go! Like others said, it's not that simple. You can go out as much as you want and still not find anybody to be with in a relationship. If you get on the Big Plan to Get a Boyfriend/Girlfriend and a few years later, you're still single, what are you supposed to do? You can whine or you can accept that you are single and decide to lead a good life anyway and be happy.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, does anybody have any items at the girlfriend store? I want to shop for a good looking one!










Oh wait...you actually have to TALK to girls?

*facepalm*

That will never work.

 

[Aube]

Yeah, does anybody have any items at the girlfriend store? I want to shop for a good looking one!







Oh wait...you actually have to TALK to girls?

*facepalm*

That will never work.

And don't forget the all-important checklist!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, does anybody have any items at the girlfriend store? I want to shop for a good looking one!







Oh wait...you actually have to TALK to girls?

*facepalm*

That will never work.

And don't forget the all-important checklist!

*facepalm*

Forgot that, too! For many people, it's a mile long!

/end sarcasm

But seriously, I don't see it as impossible for anybody to not get into a relationship. I just was poking fun a bit...but I have been in situations where it could have progressed, so maybe it'll happen again.

And if not, I'll just hit people with my cane when I'm 90 years old, and a cranky old virgin!

 

[blackdot]

So to all of you out there who are depressed because you have never been in a relationship.  I have to ask, why don't you go out and find one? 

Well how about
1.) It requires there to be someone out there to date.
2.) Some of us are actively looking.
3.) You can't just buy a date in the store.
4.) Women don't date.
5.) I'm too old.
6.) They didn't teach how to date back when I was in school.

ok, I'm too tired this morning to be creative. But it's just plain ******** to tell people if you want a date then just go out and get one when it clearly doesn't work that way.

 

[The Good Citizen]

So to all of you out there who are depressed because you have never been in a relationship. I have to ask, why don't you go out and find one?

Well how about
1.) It requires there to be someone out there to date.
2.) Some of us are actively looking.
3.) You can't just buy a date in the store.
4.) Women don't date.
5.) I'm too old.
6.) They didn't teach how to date back when I was in school.

ok, I'm too tired this morning to be creative. But it's just plain ******** to tell people if you want a date then just go out and get one when it clearly doesn't work that way.

Blackdot, can I be honest, you puzzle me a little at times as more than most you seem a really sound, intelligent and not bad looking bloke (if that's you in your avatar). You really shouldn't be in your situation when I read what you write.

I think to go all Top Gun on you, you need a wing man. Sack on line dating off and get out there a bit more. I'm rubbish at chatting girls up but to be honest I don't try to, I just chat to them (not sure how it happens I just ask them a few questions and listen and try and relate) and I can do that all evening I'm quite good at talking and listening. I get the feelign you would be really good at that too, just sat nattering away to someone. I just think you need some company when out, male or female who would give you a kick at the right time and say 'you know you should ask her out'. You seem a little defeatest or lacking belief in yourself!

So no, I'm not having..

1.) It requires there to be someone out there to date.
4.) Women don't date.
5.) I'm too old.

You know these are not true, you're better than that!

Sorry I'm feeling quite militant this afternoon

 

[blackdot]

well at my ages, most women are either married or have been married before so the options are very limited.

I have no problems talking to someone if they will talk to me. When i meet someone from online dating sites, I can sit with them and easily talk for 3 straight hours. unfortunately I have found out from them that they also don't like going on dates with guys who will talk to them that much.

but talking to random women I don't know at all, heck no. ain't happening. not until they talk to me first and they tell me some things about themselves so I know what we might have in common.

At the Super Bowl party last night, there was a really cute female who I kept having a hard time talking to. Not like it would have matter anyways since she is way too young for me but still.
But I did get to hear a lot of women complaining about guys. All these women complaining about all the guys they have dated multiple months. I'm like, "dating actually happens for people?" I just kept quiet. One of them already knew I have it impossible at trying to find people to date. Luckily this year I didn't have to walk outside crying.

and yes, that is me in the photo. well, at least it's my head. The rest of my skinny self doesn't show up. *laughs*

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I know what you mean by either married or have been married before.

I want to start with no kids, but most women my age already have them. So I am left to dating single mothers, or being alone.

 

[The Good Citizen]

well at my ages, most women are either married or have been married before so the options are very limited.

I have no problems talking to someone if they will talk to me. When i meet someone from online dating sites, I can sit with them and easily talk for 3 straight hours. unfortunately I have found out from them that they also don't like going on dates with guys who will talk to them that much.

but talking to random women I don't know at all, heck no. ain't happening. not until they talk to me first and they tell me some things about themselves so I know what we might have in common.

At the Super Bowl party last night, there was a really cute female who I kept having a hard time talking to. Not like it would have matter anyways since she is way too young for me but still.
But I did get to hear a lot of women complaining about guys. All these women complaining about all the guys they have dated multiple months. I'm like, "dating actually happens for people?" I just kept quiet. One of them already knew I have it impossible at trying to find people to date. Luckily this year I didn't have to walk outside crying.

and yes, that is me in the photo. well, at least it's my head. The rest of my skinny self doesn't show up. *laughs*

Well I'm 35 and have 2 kids I'm guessing you're not too far off my age?To be honest women do seem to vanish after the age of about 24 for about 15 years, when I'm out I chat to quiet a few girls who are 23 and never seem to meet anyone older, until they reapear as 40+ year old man eater divorcee's! I've had a couple of failed relationships with girls about 10 years younger than me in the last few years and I'm determined not to go down that route again, they had potential and could have workd but I want something a bit more conventional now. So age can be tricky I guess but its never impossible.

I normally meet people through people, female friends who have friends you know... "this is matt he has kids, this is so an so she has a kid too" or something lame like that. I just try to be chatty, I'll talk to anyone regardless of age or ***, I just try and get to know as many people as I can when I'm out, it does help. If someone is hard to talk to I guess I don't have much in common with them.

Talking is good, I can't believe every girl you meet says they find it a problem that you are too easy to talk to!? I get told its a good thing, it is isn't it? its obvious, don't let one looney tell you otherwise.

I'm skinny too but a bad break up recently cost me a few Kilograms and I can put that back on, thats fixable plus I'm boyish looking so 30 somethings assume I'm too young for them! Which is annoying ha!. I know its a cliche but just believe in yourself, confidence (not arrogance) is the one virtue I want my 2 boys to have. I would say I am at best quietly cofident now and when I've lacked it at times in my life everything just seemed to pass me by.

 

[blackdot]

I'm 38. I seem to attract women about 10 years younger than me. The same women that don't want to date a guy that is more than 3 year older than themselves. I hate looking younger than I am.

 

[WishingWell]

Why don't I just go out an have one? A relationship that is? Well, not being able to drive, not being within walking distance of any transportation, and in a town where there aren't even cabs--how do I get to a place. And, if I got to "the place", what should that place be to meet someone? A bar? No! I've been down that road already. You can't very well flirt when you are at doctors' offices, and at 54, men that are available, often don't want to be in a relationship--they just want to have ***, and so the choices are very scarce. I tried internet dating, but after 19 men, a few of whom I dated more than once, nothing worked out whether it be on his side or mine. YOU JUST CAN GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE THAT EASILY. And, also, at this point in my life, I am sure as heck not going to settle for just anyone. If I am going to have to be unhappy or unfulfilled by a man, I would rather be without one.

 

[Tiina63]

I have started looking seriously once more. For the last few months I have spent a lot of time on this site and similar ones, and now I am trying to cut down the time I spend here in order to spend more time on dating sites, writing to possible matches etc.

---

Why don't I just go out an have one? A relationship that is? Well, not being able to drive, not being within walking distance of any transportation, and in a town where there aren't even cabs--how do I get to a place. And, if I got to "the place", what should that place be to meet someone? A bar? No! I've been down that road already. You can't very well flirt when you are at doctors' offices, and at 54, men that are available, often don't want to be in a relationship--they just want to have ***, and so the choices are very scarce. I tried internet dating, but after 19 men, a few of whom I dated more than once, nothing worked out whether it be on his side or mine. YOU JUST CAN GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE THAT EASILY. And, also, at this point in my life, I am sure as heck not going to settle for just anyone. If I am going to have to be unhappy or unfulfilled by a man, I would rather be without one.

I am 54 as well, and it is a relief to 'meet' someone my own age here who is looking for someone and can understand the additional difficulties which getting older can bring. I agree, that net dating can be hard, because however good an email axchange is, meeting is the only way to really know if you feel drawn to someone. It is so annoying when, on paper, you have a lot in common and then find that for whatever reason you don't gell in real life. And, as you say, so many men are looking only for ***. A lot of men of our age are on the lookout for women much younger too, or they have several divorces behind them. One divorce is OK, but more than this makes you wary.