Why Don't You Just Have One

[EveWasFramed]

Posts like these tend to always make me feel like ****. I've seen several references to single mothers and divorced women. We aren't freaks who are incapable of having a relationship you know.

 

[Bones]

Posts like these tend to always make me feel like ****. I've seen several references to single mothers and divorced women. We aren't freaks who are incapable of having a relationship you know.

---

Believe it or not, it is not exactly easy being a single father (without the mother being around for the past 15 years or so) and the expectations from work, interpersonal relationships, and what not.

It has been arduous and I completely understand where you are coming from.

 

[Stormrider]

Posts like these tend to always make me feel like ****. I've seen several references to single mothers and divorced women. We aren't freaks who are incapable of having a relationship you know.

Don't worry not everyone thinks like that, a friend of mine has a happy relationship for several years now with a woman that already had 2 daughters from a previous marriage. And he takes care of them like they're his own kids.

I wouldn't mind dating a single mother either, but if i'd meet someone that doesn't want more kids then it could be a problem, because i'd like to have a kid of my own one day too.

There are always complications when people meet, kids, no kids, social or financial differences,... if dating was math, then it would be easier I guess 1single+1single=happy couple It just doesn't work like that

 

[The Good Citizen]

I'd probably prefer to meet someone who has had children as I have my 2 and don't think I want another.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Don't get me wrong - that's a personal decision for everyone. I don't "fault" anyone for choosing not to be with someone who has has children.
I do understand why some people feel that way, but it STILL makes me feel like crap.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Posts like these tend to always make me feel like ****. I've seen several references to single mothers and divorced women. We aren't freaks who are incapable of having a relationship you know.

Eve, I am sorry. I didn't mean that I wouldn't date a single mother, or divorced woman; just that it wasn't my preference.

One of my best friends, that I have had a crush on for years, is both divorced and has two children. If we ever got together, I would love her kids as my own...but would want more.

That's all I'm saying. I probably should have phrased it differently.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Posts like these tend to always make me feel like ****. I've seen several references to single mothers and divorced women. We aren't freaks who are incapable of having a relationship you know.

---

Believe it or not, it is not exactly easy being a single father (without the mother being around for the past 15 years or so) and the expectations from work, interpersonal relationships, and what not.

It has been arduous and I completely understand where you are coming from.

---

Thanks for the hug, Bones. (((((hugs)))))

 

[EveWasFramed]

Posts like these tend to always make me feel like ****. I've seen several references to single mothers and divorced women. We aren't freaks who are incapable of having a relationship you know.

Eve, I am sorry. I didn't mean that I wouldn't date a single mother, or divorced woman; just that it wasn't my preference.

One of my best friends, that I have had a crush on for years, is both divorced and has two children. If we ever got together, I would love her kids as my own...but would want more.

That's all I'm saying. I probably should have phrased it differently.

No no...you're fine. As I said a few minutes ago, I dont fault anyone for having a preference. I wasn't offended at all.

 

[BlueArtist]

Well how about
1.) It requires there to be someone out there to date.
2.) Some of us are actively looking.
3.) You can't just buy a date in the store.
4.) Women don't date.
5.) I'm too old.
6.) They didn't teach how to date back when I was in school.

ok, I'm too tired this morning to be creative. But it's just plain ******** to tell people if you want a date then just go out and get one when it clearly doesn't work that way.

I'm with blackdot on most of his statements.

I'm turning 37 this year, my first and last time I had a girlfriend was when I was 18. After that it just went downhill. Don't get me wrong, it isn't the lack of trying. I go on dates once in a while when I meet someone that I'm relatively attracted too. Problem is I live in a fairly small town, most woman are married, engage, already in a relationship, too young or too old.

Even though I work at a university the woman here are far too young (19 -20 year difference) and also I really do not have the energy to go party all night of which they all seem to do.

I had my fill of parties in my 20s and at this stage I rarely even drink so pubs, of which the town have quite a few, is not my scene anymore.

My friends have set me up with every one of their single friends and guess what I never hear from them after the first date, now they have run out of single friends to introduce me to. I've tried online dating and in the 3 years I only met 3 women through it, and that didn't last very long either. I almost never get a response from woman that I try to engage in conversation through online dating, and more than 50% of them I will not contact due to the fact that they make it very clear they are looking for prince charming that have loads of money.

The older I get the more difficult it becomes to find someone that could be a potential life partner.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I worry that will be me someday, Blue.

I have been on a handful of dates, but never have had a girlfriend. And I'm 29.

I could potentially go after the girls at my college. But last time I chased a 19 year old, it led to disaster. I was known as "the creepy old guy." And now I'm facing the big 3-0, which is making me feel like the world is ending.

I never would have suspected that my life would have turned out this way. I always figured I would be married, with kids, by now. I haven't even had a first kiss!

 

[The Good Citizen]

Nah 30 is a good age, you are your own person, I'd hate to be 18 again, seems so much more compliated than when I was younger!

 

[blackdot]

But the plus side of being 18 is that it means I still would be living at home and I wouldn't have to be making my own decisions.

 

[The Good Citizen]

But the plus side of being 18 is that it means I still would be living at home and I wouldn't have to be making my own decisions.

Yeah but I would be lisening to The Smiths and feeling mserable because I'd never kissed a girl again. Although yeah, a bit of home cooking wouldn't go a miss.!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Hey, I am 29, I listen to The Smiths, and I have never kissed a girl either.

I would trade that for being 18, and starting with a clean slate, again!

 

[The Good Citizen]

Ah Morrissey used to slay with his words! Well after I kissed a girl life just got much more complicated, 3 years later I was a dad and still at uni!

I always think if I could go back and know what I do now... but I'd probably just be me all over again.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I would trade anything for your life, man. Just saying.

 

[The Good Citizen]

Oh I'm lucky, I got two fantastic boys and I have shared care of them which is more than most separated dads get, I wouldn't swap them or do anything different. I still need someone in my life eventually though. But yeah they are a god send to me.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I wish I had something like that in my life.

The closest thing I have is a connection to my sis's kids. And they might not even come around anymore, thanks to the misbehavior of one of the children.

 

[Stormrider]

Hey, I am 29, I listen to The Smiths, and I have never kissed a girl either.

I would trade that for being 18, and starting with a clean slate, again!

Same here, i'm not saying life is over at 30 or anything, but I do feel like I've lost 10 years.

I have a few good friends that I see once in a week, but other than that i'm always alone, and when i drag myself to go out I just don't can't seem to meet new people to create new friends or even a relationship, I sometimes talk for a few minutes with someone, but that's all. Most people I know got a lasting relationship by going out with friends from friends or even by meeting someone at work, I guess you need some luck with it too.
By staying home I wouldn't give luck a chance so that's why I still force myself to go out alone even for a while

There are moments i feel fine, but sitting alone almost every evening always brings me down after a while. But I still hope things will be better in the future.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

It is kind of funny how this thread revived as well.