Do you believe in friendships between men and women?

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TheRealCallie said:
I'm sorry, did you really just call me rude after the crap that spewed out of your mouth (or rather fingers)?   :D



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My one and only true friend is a woman. She is also gay. So for the purposes of this question, does that make her more in the "man side" of the equation or the "woman side"? Shrugs.

Looking back at my life, most of the women I was "friends" with, I really wasn't. I was there for them, I would listen to them or help them out, whatever, but it was never reciprocated. My first wife was the extremely jealous type and I couldn't have any female friends. Even if I tried, she would drive them off. The lady who is my true friend now, I used to supervise her, but my wife (2nd wife) accused her of having an affair with me (no such thing... as I said, she is gay.) So they gave her to a different supervisor. After that there was no conflict of interest, so we would meet for dinner once a week to talk about life and things going on.
 
I just dropped a so called friend that was a woman. I got tired of her stupid ****. She gets what she deserves after this point. I don't care anymore. She's too stupid to see what was in front of her.
 
Yes, my closest friend is a guy I wouldn't go out with him and he wouldn't go out with me although to be fair we're very alike in a lot of ways and lack of interest in any relationship is one of them so it might be different in some cases
 
VanillaCreme said:
I do. I don't believe in the notion that men and ladies can't be actual, true friends. I watched this video about it before, and the girl in the video said that she thought the only reason why men and women were friends was because they couldn't figure out a way to be together. I don't believe in that. I think the notion itself is ridiculous. I don't see how being male or female determines friendship. I've had male friends for years now and nothing, not a thing, has ever come up on either end. So it's definitely possible.

It's a weird one. I'm a girl and my best and oldest friends are both boys, so it's definitely possible. But coming a woman's perspective I understand what you mean, I've always warmed to boys faster and easier than girls, trust issues I think, but there has been so many times where I've had to confront the guys who I wanted to be friends with and tell them I don't want anything more. Sometimes they are OK with it, and unfortunately other times they got the wrong impression from me because they have a mindset like yours "men and women can't be friends they can only have sexual relationships" and they called me a **** tease just because I was being nice to them. I've always found it so weird that boys and girls have that mindset, and still today don't understand it. We are all human. We all have deep experiences in our life and share the meaningful pain of bereavment (the deepest and strangest feeling in my opinion), and we are all capable of respecting each other. The boundaries you think are there are only what you have constructed in your mind, they are malleable. 

I suggest you try to befriend a girl, hey you can even pm me if you want to ::)

B


roy1986 said:
I mean real friendship, not the hang out with the gang kind of friendship.

My therapist told me that I should try a different approach and agree to befriend with a woman, but I've never believed you can
develop a decent relationship with the opposite ***, as a man, I don't see myself able to get so close to a woman without
falling for her. 

I have never understood men who agree to this, I mean you sit there listen to what kind of dicks the guys around her are 
and you are like her damn free therapist, who would want such a thing.
Maybe I'm exaggerating, what's your point of you on the matter?

It's a weird one. I'm a girl and my best and oldest friends are both boys, so it's definitely possible. But coming a woman's perspective I understand what you mean, I've always warmed to boys faster and easier than girls, trust issues I think, but there has been so many times where I've had to confront the guys who I wanted to be friends with and tell them I don't want anything more. Sometimes they are OK with it, and unfortunately other times they got the wrong impression from me because they have a mindset like yours "men and women can't be friends they can only have sexual relationships" and they called me a **** tease just because I was being nice to them. I've always found it so weird that boys and girls have that mindset, and still today don't understand it. We are all human. We all have deep experiences in our life and share the meaningful pain of bereavment (the deepest and strangest feeling in my opinion), and we are all capable of respecting each other. The boundaries you think are there are only what you have constructed in your mind, they are malleable. 

I suggest you try to befriend a girl, hey you can even pm me if you want to :
smile.gif


B
 
Brennabean said:
VanillaCreme said:
I do. I don't believe in the notion that men and ladies can't be actual, true friends. I watched this video about it before, and the girl in the video said that she thought the only reason why men and women were friends was because they couldn't figure out a way to be together. I don't believe in that. I think the notion itself is ridiculous. I don't see how being male or female determines friendship. I've had male friends for years now and nothing, not a thing, has ever come up on either end. So it's definitely possible.

It's a weird one. I'm a girl and my best and oldest friends are both boys, so it's definitely possible. But coming a woman's perspective I understand what you mean, I've always warmed to boys faster and easier than girls, trust issues I think, but there has been so many times where I've had to confront the guys who I wanted to be friends with and tell them I don't want anything more. Sometimes they are OK with it, and unfortunately other times they got the wrong impression from me because they have a mindset like yours "men and women can't be friends they can only have sexual relationships" and they called me a **** tease just because I was being nice to them. I've always found it so weird that boys and girls have that mindset, and still today don't understand it. We are all human. We all have deep experiences in our life and share the meaningful pain of bereavment (the deepest and strangest feeling in my opinion), and we are all capable of respecting each other. The boundaries you think are there are only what you have constructed in your mind, they are malleable. 

I suggest you try to befriend a girl, hey you can even pm me if you want to ::)

B

I'm not sure if this response was actually for my post on this, since you posted the same thing very largely on another post, but that's not my mindset.
 
If both are looking for a friend, they can find one in each other no matter the gender, if one of them is looking for more and not honest about what this person actually want's out of the relationship, it's doomed to fail I'd say, the friendship part at least.
 
MisterLonely said:
If both are looking for a friend, they can find one in each other no matter the gender, if one of them is looking for more and not honest about what this person actually want's out of the relationship, it's doomed to fail I'd say, the friendship part at least.

Not honest and/or expecting out of the relationship to be more, it's doomed. The folks that go into something wanting to be friends because they think it'll turn into something more will probably be disappointed if or when it doesn't.
 
VanillaCreme said:
MisterLonely said:
If both are looking for a friend, they can find one in each other no matter the gender, if one of them is looking for more and not honest about what this person actually want's out of the relationship, it's doomed to fail I'd say, the friendship part at least.

Not honest and/or expecting out of the relationship to be more, it's doomed. The folks that go into something wanting to be friends because they think it'll turn into something more will probably be disappointed if or when it doesn't.

That's why I say at least the friendship will be doomed, because it could happen that it does blossom into something more.
 
For ****'s sake. We are grown ups. I have male friends and I have female friends. What on Earth is the big deal?
 
VanillaCreme said:
Brennabean said:
VanillaCreme said:
I do. I don't believe in the notion that men and ladies can't be actual, true friends. I watched this video about it before, and the girl in the video said that she thought the only reason why men and women were friends was because they couldn't figure out a way to be together. I don't believe in that. I think the notion itself is ridiculous. I don't see how being male or female determines friendship. I've had male friends for years now and nothing, not a thing, has ever come up on either end. So it's definitely possible.

It's a weird one. I'm a girl and my best and oldest friends are both boys, so it's definitely possible. But coming a woman's perspective I understand what you mean, I've always warmed to boys faster and easier than girls, trust issues I think, but there has been so many times where I've had to confront the guys who I wanted to be friends with and tell them I don't want anything more. Sometimes they are OK with it, and unfortunately other times they got the wrong impression from me because they have a mindset like yours "men and women can't be friends they can only have sexual relationships" and they called me a **** tease just because I was being nice to them. I've always found it so weird that boys and girls have that mindset, and still today don't understand it. We are all human. We all have deep experiences in our life and share the meaningful pain of bereavment (the deepest and strangest feeling in my opinion), and we are all capable of respecting each other. The boundaries you think are there are only what you have constructed in your mind, they are malleable. 

I suggest you try to befriend a girl, hey you can even pm me if you want to ::)

B

I'm not sure if this response was actually for my post on this, since you posted the same thing very largely on another post, but that's not my mindset.

Haha yeah I must have pressed reply on the wrong box oopsie happy Christmas
 

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