Friends or Lovers?

[Lost Drifter]

Imagine if you had a choice to have friends or a lover (girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse) which would you choose and why? Although both is an ideal scenario, its not an option, so just pick one.

I’d go with friends. I’ve had girlfriends in the past and while being single means that I miss certain activities, I’d much rather tackle the massive problem of learning to love myself before loving someone else. People tend to put all hope on their partners, as if having someone will suddenly make their lives a million times better, this is true to an extent but its all too easy to get carried away with imaginary solutions. However I think having friends would allow me to explore who I am through coping with different situations, having people to react to or having others relate to myself.

That itself may be another imaginary solution but as Anaïs Nin once wrote:

"each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born"

And I believe that somewhere, on one of those worlds, lies the real me and I so desperately want to shake him by the hand and meet him.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Lover for me. It'd make me feel about a million times better about myself and my outlook on life and I'm dying to understand what it feels like to have someone who cares about you that much.

Plus any lover of mine is going to be my best friend too, so...

But it's still tough to vote on. If you just mean "lover" as in "someone I make love to only", I'd vote friends, because I don't think that's the same thing.

 

[Polar]

People tend to put all hope on their partners, as if having someone will suddenly make their lives a million times better, this is true to an extent but its all too easy to get carried away with imaginary solutions.

Spot on. Friends is a much healthier form of relationship.
When talking love there's a fine line between loving someone and needing someone. It gets confused all too often. Codependency is srs business! I've learned to go without love most of my life, I cannot imagine having done the same without friends instead.

 

[Badjedidude]

Lovers.

 

[user15010]

People tend to put all hope on their partners, as if having someone will suddenly make their lives a million times better, this is true to an extent but its all too easy to get carried away with imaginary solutions.

Spot on. Friends is a much healthier form of relationship.
When talking love there's a fine line between loving someone and needing someone. It gets confused all too often. Codependency is srs business! I've learned to go without love most of my life, I cannot imagine having done the same without friends instead.

I agree with both of you. Friendship can easily outlive other forms of relationships between people, seems to be less complicated and less constraining regarding mutual commitments.

 

[freedom]

i'd rather have lovers. at least with them i'll always know the outcome. they come over, we make love, they leave, who's next?

with friends it's just so much more difficult. you never know what's going to happen.

great question by the way.

 

[Fragile]

Friends are (or at least could be) forever. While love usually turns rather ugly if it goes out of line.

 

[Okiedokes]

If I had to really make a decision between one or the other, I'd say friends because one person alone (lover) and no friends, is not enough.
You can get lonely in a relationship.. even a healthy one, if you don't have others to talk to.

 

[Chasm]

voted friends bcuz the way i understand the word lover is just that
sex
no replacement 4 long lasting friendships

 

[gelnn]

anything is fine... just dun confuse sex and love... they are separate things...