I once beat a russian assassin in a game of beer pong. Unfortunately, all of the witnesses committed suicide within the next three months. Of course he left me alive just so he could have the satisfaction of hearing people call me crazy when I tell this story.
So I have this cousin, Clive, Mila's brother, who fathered a child with Natalie Portman but since she's got this fiancè the ballet guy Clive won't be the legal father. I think he'll sue.
I once was best friends with a nine legged unicorn. We committed a spree of robberies in Rio before the Federales and Drug Cartels came after us. We got locked in a terrible firefight, and he shot me so they would think I was dead. He escaped and I had to crawl back to New York. He now works for the FBI and is hunting down every single member of that cartel that we got in the shootout with. That gunshot is also why I have a permanent severe limp and a slight hunchback.
It can't be cause I am a vampire called vixen and I prefer the blood of shy virgin males. Thats why I'm on ALL. ThatOneDude might just be my next victim. yummy