I can't turn off my transness. It's not like saying "I identify as a gamer" or something. It's visible, everywhere I go. It's like telling a person of color "have you thought about not being black?" It's not invisible. It's not something I can hide. It's not some ephemeral quirk of personality that I can decide to ignore one day when it's convenient.
I know your intentions for posting were good, but this is something we hear from people who have never had their core self constantly devaluated and denied. "Lmao just stop being trans like, come on."
It defines every interaction that I have. I wish I could turn off my transness. The "ME I need to be" is a woman. I can't turn that off. It's not a self-assessment like intelligence or well-spokenness, and it's certainly not an "imperfection."
The rest of your post, like, I'm not sure what you're getting at. Are you comparing me to a palm oil farm?
No where did I say anything about, "turning off your trans-ness," or your likening it to, "stop being black." Those are your words not mine. Your interpretation of my words, is yours, you get to own that; but, I get to own the meaning of my words, because I wrote them. They are mine, and that is my ME, even if you happen misunderstand and/or disagree with them.
Who is this, "we," you speak of? Who is this, "we," that knows what it is to be, "devalued and denied," in ways others don't? Do you speak for all Trans people right now? I think not. I think you can only speak from your own experience.
Is it necessary or even possible for your, 'identity,' to define every interaction? Again, I made no mention of, 'turning anything off;' those are your words, your interpretation of my words. Our, 'identity,' as I stated before, is not something real or tangible. It is a construct. It is composed of many different things. There are people who identify as Raiders football fans. There are people who identify as white and superior. There are people who identify as depressed and lonely. It's composed of likes, dislikes, feelings, thoughts, habits, behvaiors, hopes, dreams, and all sorts of things; up to, and including, being black or being Trans. And I certainly didn't spend one whole hour of my time, responding to your current distress, to call a particular aspect of your identity an imperfection (as if to insult you). Again, that is your (mis)interpretation of my words; an unfortunate interpretation. However, yes, you are imperfect, along with myself, and everyone else here. That's a compliment. We share that commonality in our identity, from my position. We share that aspect as a commonality. We are imperfect, in an imperfect world.
So, did you just devalue my entire response to you? Did you misinterpret my words, misstate what I said, and turn my words into something they weren't? Did you see fit to see insult, where there was philosophical Truth in our shared imperfection in an imperfect world? How much of your interpretation was absolutely dependent on your identity, if any of it was at all?
I think, in my view, my position, it would be a hellish world, if our, 'identities,' defined every aspect of our lives and every interaction we had; most especially considering, the great fight, is all about not having to live like that. Isn't that what, 'we,' are all fighting for? To be equal. To be free to pursue our dreams and happiness. To be loved, honored, valued, respected, and all that fun stuff; or at least, be treated fairly. To be treated kindly. To be human?
We define ourselves by our suffering, yet there are times, when the very definitions we make up for ourselves, are what continue the cycle. By your interpretation of my words, that means I said, 'stop being trans for a while.' By my definition, it means, why not focus on the aspect of your identity that likes a certain food. Focus on the gamer aspect of your identity, if you are also a gamer. Focus on the aspect of your identity that likes certain sports or sports stars. Focus on the aspect of your identity that likes certain philosophies, or cultures, or what have you.
Or, as I was trying to say, perhaps zoom out a bit from your identity all together. Step back from your, 'core-self.' What is it? Is it tangible? Is it real the way an apple is? Can you hold it in your hands? Can you shape it? What color is it? Where does it go when you die? Does it exist at all? Or is it, just like all the other ideas, simply an idea, a construct? Is it something that can be taken a bit more lightly, or is it something that is necessary to be heavy and weigh you down?
It would be incredibly insulting of me to say things in the way you interpreted me as saying them; but, to interpret my words in that way would also require the assumption of me to be less intelligent, less well spoken, less well-thought-out, less knowledgeable, and less experienced than I know (my self) to be.
I can't paint a much more clearer picture of what I am saying. At the very beginning I said, "step back from your identity (a bit), stop defending yourself so much." And in reply, you (appear to me) to have dug your heels in to your identity even more, and proceeded to defend yourself from attacks of perceived waves of ignorance.
If you still find me in ignorance, then I guess we are forced to live and die by characteristics such as the color of our skin. I can only hope, that, even though that last statement may sometimes be a factual truth of the reality, it is to our greatest hope and strength, that we can still choose not to let such things define us, ultimately, as people. Isn't that the hope and the dream?
I (may) not know your particular brand of suffering; and if that is so, what consolation could I possibly offer any way? Suffering, is very personal; but, it's still suffering... Whether a trans toe, or a black toe, or white toe gets stubbed, it still hurts. So how does your identity make your toe hurt so different, from any other toe? If your toe hurts the same as mine, then your conjecture that your identity effects (every) aspect of your interactions, is incorrect. The Truth, is that it may affect many, many aspects of your interactions, but not all.
Clearly your pain comes from a place more connected to a very important aspect of your identity; and I simply think and have shared, that perhaps there is something there worth examining, that may give you some respite, where that pain is concerned...
But, that's easy to say; and, my words are open to interpretation, if I choose to share them...
