I'm tired of being single

[Rainbows]

^It is not because someone rejects you that you are undesirable - it means there is no chemistry. Don't tell yourself otherwise - everyone is desirable in some people their eyes, you just have to find the right person..

 

[bender22]

ardour, I doubt these women are rejecting you as a person. Unless they're close friends they probably don't know enough about you to reject you as a person anyway. More likely they are just rejecting the way you express your interest. And like HGwells said, rejection does does mean you are undesirable. Everyone who puts them self out there gets rejected, regardless of their looks, wealth, personality...

 

[African_weasel]

It seems like a person who doesn't date somebody just because of they have money or the car that person drive is extremely few and far between

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Ok, here is one thing I really hate about being single. The lack of support system. I just had an excruciatingly painful migraine late at night. How wonderful it would be to be able to say "Honey, would you please do me a favor? Will you drive to the store and get me some medicine?" There is no honey to ask and I don't feel well enough to walk to the store with my migraine and I don't want to put myself in a vulnerable state of woman walking alone at night with a migraine. Yes, I know I'm an adult but I don't think so, don't feel well anyway. So I just had to suffer for a few hours. hold my head on the couch and shed a few tears. Oh well, at least I'll be fine tomorrow. And I'll have to take my Mom's advice which is to buy headache medicine in the day time when I don't have a headache to be prepared. Single people have to be prepared to rescue themselves. There is no knight in shining armor to save you if you're sick.

Sorry, just a rant.

 

[Ymir]

Ok, here is one thing I really hate about being single. The lack of support system. I just had an excruciatingly painful migraine late at night. How wonderful it would be to be able to say "Honey, would you please do me a favor? Will you drive to the store and get me some medicine?" There is no honey to ask and I don't feel well enough to walk to the store with my migraine and I don't want to put myself in a vulnerable state of woman walking alone at night with a migraine. Yes, I know I'm an adult but I don't think so, don't feel well anyway. So I just had to suffer for a few hours. hold my head on the couch and shed a few tears. Oh well, at least I'll be fine tomorrow. And I'll have to take my Mom's advice which is to buy headache medicine in the day time when I don't have a headache to be prepared. Single people have to be prepared to rescue themselves. There is no knight in shining armor to save you if you're sick.

Sorry, just a rant.

This so true, though. I have no desire to be in a comitted relationship (even though I might or might not wish for one when I'm third wheeling for friends haha) and I'll be moving out my house soon enough and I wonder who's going to take care of me during an emergency, as I tend to have those a lot.

I also wonder who's going to take care of me when I get older if I really don't change my mind about being in a comitted relationship. My parents like to think I'm 100% independent but they do more for me than they can possibly imagine.

I'll just get an arranged marriage and live happily ever after with a convenient husband.

 

[Case]

Ok, here is one thing I really hate about being single. The lack of support system. I just had an excruciatingly painful migraine late at night. How wonderful it would be to be able to say "Honey, would you please do me a favor? Will you drive to the store and get me some medicine?" There is no honey to ask and I don't feel well enough to walk to the store with my migraine and I don't want to put myself in a vulnerable state of woman walking alone at night with a migraine. Yes, I know I'm an adult but I don't think so, don't feel well anyway. So I just had to suffer for a few hours. hold my head on the couch and shed a few tears. Oh well, at least I'll be fine tomorrow. And I'll have to take my Mom's advice which is to buy headache medicine in the day time when I don't have a headache to be prepared. Single people have to be prepared to rescue themselves. There is no knight in shining armor to save you if you're sick.

Sorry, just a rant.

This so true, though. I have no desire to be in a comitted relationship (even though I might or might not wish for one when I'm third wheeling for friends haha) and I'll be moving out my house soon enough and I wonder who's going to take care of me during an emergency, as I tend to have those a lot.

I also wonder who's going to take care of me when I get older if I really don't change my mind about being in a comitted relationship. My parents like to think I'm 100% independent but they do more for me than they can possibly imagine.

I'll just get an arranged marriage and live happily ever after with a convenient husband.

First of all, I live this life that both of you mentioned, so I can fully relate.

But I would like to add that I have a fear lately that is very primal, and it's that I will die and no one will know. My siblings don't call me because... reasons, my parents are deceased, I can go a month sometimes without anyone contacting me, and it petrifies me that I will have a heart attack or a stroke and no one will care to check up on me. Recently, Robin Williams died by his own hand, and he was found the same day because his assistant came and no one answered his door. If I die suddenly, no one will be coming around to check on me. I have no assistants who would be knocking on my door, or friends who call just to say "Hi." This actually makes me very sad.

It's not enough to get me to start dating again, but it still bothers me.

 

[LonelySutton]

I'll just get an arranged marriage and live happily ever after with a convenient husband.

I have said this before but I think most people have that. They just like don't admit it. It seems obvious to me that people find someone they can stand and then.. love fades but they are going to stay with each other. Just fyi, I was reading a report of Robin Williams and he and his wife had different bedrooms.

But for me it is hard to find anyone lately... settling or not. I don't know where all the single guys are. I swear they are all in one room in Nebraska with an internet connection.

On the lack of support system.. I have said it before and I will say it again... there is no guarantee that you support system will be there when you need them. So, it is great if hubbie is there to get you your meds but sometimes hubbie might not be home... or when you get old.. he could get sick before you.

 

[Ymir]

I'll just get an arranged marriage and live happily ever after with a convenient husband.

I have said this before but I think most people have that. They just like don't admit it. It seems obvious to me that people find someone they can stand and then.. love fades but they are going to stay with each other. Just fyi, I was reading a report of Robin Williams and he and his wife had different bedrooms.

But for me it is hard to find anyone lately... settling or not. I don't know where all the single guys are. I swear they are all in one room in Nebraska with an internet connection.

On the lack of support system.. I have said it before and I will say it again... there is no guarantee that you support system will be there when you need them. So, it is great if hubbie is there to get you your meds but sometimes hubbie might not be home... or when you get old.. he could get sick before you.

The more I think about it, the more I see the logic in it. My parents were lucky and they can be really in love and be close at the same time, but not everyone gets to do that.

When I was younger I thought I'd marry a guy who would ardently love me or whatever, but as I grew up I realized that the people I had strong feelings towards (be it friends or crushes) usually didn't stick around for long, because I couldn't stand being close to them. My closest friendship right now is with a girl that I seriously don't have this strong feeling of friendship towards BUT she is there for me and I am there for her and we can be close without me wanting to snap her neck so basically, we're good.

So that's what I'm looking forward in a marriage. I'm not settling as much as I am recognizing that people that can make sparks fly aren't the best people to spend the rest of my life with. Because they can make sparks fly and sparks often lead to fire.

As for your last point, that is why I am looking for a healthy suitor, because I'm sure sick for both me and my hypothetical husband.

 

[LonelySutton]

The more I think about it, the more I see the logic in it. My parents were lucky and they can be really in love and be close at the same time, but not everyone gets to do that.

If I ever have a chance to do it, I would like to start a dating site for people who aren't looking for the love of their life... just someone they can stand who they will grow to love. There are dating sites for everything (including asexuals) but not this.

Sometimes I figure i can just use a regular site but too often, these sites are full of people who really just want sex or some massive "luv" which usually fades. I was thinking of a title of "long term match" or something.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I'll just get an arranged marriage and live happily ever after with a convenient husband.

I have said this before but I think most people have that. They just like don't admit it. It seems obvious to me that people find someone they can stand and then.. love fades but they are going to stay with each other. Just fyi, I was reading a report of Robin Williams and he and his wife had different bedrooms.

But for me it is hard to find anyone lately... settling or not. I don't know where all the single guys are. I swear they are all in one room in Nebraska with an internet connection.

On the lack of support system.. I have said it before and I will say it again... there is no guarantee that you support system will be there when you need them. So, it is great if hubbie is there to get you your meds but sometimes hubbie might not be home... or when you get old.. he could get sick before you.

If he gets sick before me then it's my job to take care of him. That is why marriage is supposed to be a support system for both individuals.

If hubbie isn't home when I have my massive headache at least when he does get home I can tell him about it. I may not get my meds but a little comfort would be nice. Support system. I know there are no guarantees in life, no guarantees of long-term love, marriage without divorce. I'm just saying one of the greatest benefits of being part of a couple is a support system.

Ymir, that's why I'm single. I don't want a convenient husband I'm not in love with.

 

[Ymir]

Eh, you are not alone in this.

But I am more of a pragmatic person and I know I might not be able to be really in love with someone (spare me the usual "but you are so young and you might change your mind" speech pls) so if I'm to wait for that, I might as well die single...

That's basically what I'm planning to do either way

 

[Alonewith2cats]

Ok, here is one thing I really hate about being single. The lack of support system. I just had an excruciatingly painful migraine late at night. How wonderful it would be to be able to say "Honey, would you please do me a favor? Will you drive to the store and get me some medicine?" There is no honey to ask and I don't feel well enough to walk to the store with my migraine and I don't want to put myself in a vulnerable state of woman walking alone at night with a migraine. Yes, I know I'm an adult but I don't think so, don't feel well anyway. So I just had to suffer for a few hours. hold my head on the couch and shed a few tears. Oh well, at least I'll be fine tomorrow. And I'll have to take my Mom's advice which is to buy headache medicine in the day time when I don't have a headache to be prepared. Single people have to be prepared to rescue themselves. There is no knight in shining armor to save you if you're sick.

Sorry, just a rant.

This so true, though. I have no desire to be in a comitted relationship (even though I might or might not wish for one when I'm third wheeling for friends haha) and I'll be moving out my house soon enough and I wonder who's going to take care of me during an emergency, as I tend to have those a lot.

I also wonder who's going to take care of me when I get older if I really don't change my mind about being in a comitted relationship. My parents like to think I'm 100% independent but they do more for me than they can possibly imagine.

I'll just get an arranged marriage and live happily ever after with a convenient husband.

First of all, I live this life that both of you mentioned, so I can fully relate.

But I would like to add that I have a fear lately that is very primal, and it's that I will die and no one will know. My siblings don't call me because... reasons, my parents are deceased, I can go a month sometimes without anyone contacting me, and it petrifies me that I will have a heart attack or a stroke and no one will care to check up on me. Recently, Robin Williams died by his own hand, and he was found the same day because his assistant came and no one answered his door. If I die suddenly, no one will be coming around to check on me. I have no assistants who would be knocking on my door, or friends who call just to say "Hi." This actually makes me very sad.

It's not enough to get me to start dating again, but it still bothers me.

Yes, this is sad. I watched a documentary called "Dreams of a Life" about the Joyce Vincent story. This woman died alone in her flat, she was 38 years old and noone knew for 2 years because it wasn't until 2 years later that her skeleton was found in her home with the TV still running. After 2 years authorities came to repossess her home because of unpaid rent. I know this is unbelievable but it's a true story. This is why it's so important to check on people you know who you haven't seen for heard from in a while. Because you never know. I think this is the moral of this story.

I have to count my blessings. My Dad does call me every few days. Still, I would not call my 71 year old father in the middle of the night and ask him to drive to the store to get me headache medicine. He goes to bed early anyway. But I will wake up my husband sleeping right next to me if the pain is as bad as it was last night.

 

[LonelySutton]

Yes, this is sad. I watched a documentary called "Dreams of a Life" about the Joyce Vincent story. This woman died alone in her flat, she was 38 years old and noone knew for 2 years because it wasn't until 2 years later that her skeleton was found in her home with the TV still running.

While sad, this is one of the few things that does not scare me. If I am dead, I swear, I just do not care what happens to my body.

But, I do see what you are both saying. It is scary to consider such a thing... even when I am eating dinner, if something goes down the wrong way you have that thought... is this it? I worry that if I get in a car accident no one will know / come to the hospital. I got no one. My parents are dead. My brother probably wouldn't visit me if I was dying. I do think it is scary that so many people are so isolated.. and, at the same time, everyone seems to wish more interaction.

 

[Alonewith2cats]

I forgot to include the fact that wrapped christmas presents were found next to her skeleton. It's not so much what happened to her body that matters. It's the fact that no one new she was dead for two years in her flat in a city with a lot of people. You would think someone would notice she hasn't been seen in a while, a neighbor perhaps. And could her death have been prevented if she wasn't so isolated?

 

[Case]

While sad, this is one of the few things that does not scare me. If I am dead, I swear, I just do not care what happens to my body.

But, I do see what you are both saying. It is scary to consider such a thing... even when I am eating dinner, if something goes down the wrong way you have that thought... is this it? I worry that if I get in a car accident no one will know / come to the hospital. I got no one. My parents are dead. My brother probably wouldn't visit me if I was dying. I do think it is scary that so many people are so isolated.. and, at the same time, everyone seems to wish more interaction.

I have heard of such stories. This fear I have is more about the fear of being considered a sad and lonely person. While I am here, these traits do not define who I am. But it is part of that woman's legacy to always be remembered as "that woman no one cared about for two years."

I'm not religious, so to me, death is scary because it's not a pathway, a transition, or a next journey. It's my switch turned off, the battery dying, the car running out of gas, etc. My mind and its memories blinking out of existence forever.

So, intellectually, I know it won't matter how I am found because I'll be gone. But emotionally speaking, while I can still think and reason and worry, it bothers me greatly. I can't express enough how I do not want to be the local man who died without anyone caring. At this moment, I made a status update two days ago. I have sent out nor received no texts, no phone calls, etc. for all anyone knows, today couod be third day since my death. On this ALL forum, if I had died, none of you would know. I would simply stop appearing on the boards. (I wonder how many people have stopped posting here for that reason. Probably not many.)

In contrast, my Dad collapsed in front of his sister, and paramedics were at the house in six minutes. He died, but I'd prefer that to being in the news as a sad sack man with no one who cared to check on him.

Getting back on topic, it would be nice to have someone I loved, for all the usual reasons, but also to have that comfort that no matter what happened to me, someone would know, and someone would care so that I wouldn't be a news item of sadness.

 

[African_weasel]

That's scary man. Just the fact that I don't have a girlfriend has caused me to feel hopeless on top of not having a job and income making me feel much much worse. I really want to be dating before I'm 22 or else I'm going to just forget about it.

 

[African_weasel]

+BUMP+

 

[Pike Creek]

That's scary man. Just the fact that I don't have a girlfriend has caused me to feel hopeless on top of not having a job and income making me feel much much worse. I really want to be dating before I'm 22 or else I'm going to just forget about it.

I didn't read all the 8 pages, but...your title says it all. I was tired of being single too. I was alone for a long time...over a decade, I'm in my 40's now and only started dating a few years ago. But personally, I made a lot of effort to make myself a better person (I wasn't very date-able to be honest before 2 years ago!) then I went out looking for men to meet through internet dating, which worked for me. If I didn't put in the effort, I might still be alone today. The job issue is tough because lots of people pre-judge one's character if they find out the person isn't working. I know that from personal experience.

 

[Cartoon Head]

That's scary man. Just the fact that I don't have a girlfriend has caused me to feel hopeless on top of not having a job and income making me feel much much worse. I really want to be dating before I'm 22 or else I'm going to just forget about it.

I didn't read all the 8 pages, but...your title says it all. I was tired of being single too. I was alone for a long time...over a decade, I'm in my 40's now and only started dating a few years ago. But personally, I made a lot of effort to make myself a better person (I wasn't very date-able to be honest before 2 years ago!) then I went out looking for men to meet through internet dating, which worked for me. If I didn't put in the effort, I might still be alone today. The job issue is tough because lots of people pre-judge one's character if they find out the person isn't working. I know that from personal experience.

This is good advice. I suppose I'm currently in that phase of trying to better myself. Only 2 years ago, I was dumped, and returned to the UK with no job, living with my parents.

Since then I've got a job and moved out, and only really started trying to find someone. But, it's difficult. Especially as I don't do the whole pub/bar/club scene.

Internet dating is something that hasn't crossed my mind yet, perhaps sometime down the line....

 

[MermiaWow]

Especially as I don't do the whole pub/bar/club scene.

Internet dating is something that hasn't crossed my mind yet, perhaps sometime down the line....

Not to be a Debbie Downer but if you do I hope you have better luck than I. Been trying it off and on for years and it wasn't until I set up a Facebook account for my resume did I run into an ex...who still lives at home with his 17 year old son. I made the mistake of giving him another chance. He became less and less reliable but his libido stayed the same. The first time we got together way back when it lasted a little over five months..this time around four, I couldn't take giving and getting nothing back. My sister went on Match.com and met someone immediately. I always thought that if I moved my prospects would change, that someone would come around sooner or later. Turns out that I'm not hot enough for my quirkiness to be appealing to any guy and now that I'm 40 I think it's pretty much out of the question.