Is there any point in trying to date if you are ugly?

[Rosebolt]

Yes, and that is why there are so many single and lonely people out there.

This is where things go wrong. The cure to loneliness is linked to one's relationship status here. This is understandable, but it is a choice you make. If you make the choice to depend on a relationship to cure your loneliness, then you will feel this way forever until you find a girl that fulfills your desires.

However if you look at other aspects of life, for example, music, in your(/our) case, and try to let different aspects be the key into curing your loneliness, then your option will dramatically increase.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

What's ugly to one person isn't exactly ugly to another.

In a perfect society that may be correct. However, the media has completely warped society's perception of beauty. While there are exceptions, there are generally accepted attributes in appearance that the media has brainwashed us into seeing as unattractive...

Height (or lack of)
Being over/underweight
Asymmetrical features

 

[drr26]

I hate the word ugly (mainly coz it's the word I use to describe myself)

I think really the world has 'pretty' people 'airbrushed' into the telly, the papers, the mags, the web, everywhere. You never see anybody who ain't pretty

In the real world everybody does not look that pretty, but delusion kicks in and people who are not as good looking get nowhere, when they would be the better person to be with. Looks seem to be very inportant nowadays. Proove me wrong people!

 

[WildernessWildChild]

 

[perfanoff]

A lot of people who have complexes have the reason for acting in a specific way disappear; e.g. I know a person whose family was very poor when he was younger, he currently has a very well-paid and stable job, substantial savings, but still lives on a dime.

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A pretty good hairstyle for a balding guy.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hey!! I know that cop! lol

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Hey!! I know that cop! lol

Anything I need to know about your past Eve....?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Hey!! I know that cop! lol

Anything I need to know about your past Eve....?

Too late for questions now, WWC.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You are worth it. You deserve to be loved.

That is all.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Fred Dryer as Sgt. Rick Hunter

 

[VanillaCreme]

If someone likes you... genuinely likes you... I don't think looks really play a part in that. You either like someone or you don't, and because of so much online interaction now days, we often learn how people are before even seeing them.

 

[Rosebolt]

Yes, there is a point in dating if you are "ugly."

No, there is no point in dating if your self esteem is that bad.

 

[flaneur]

I very vaguely recall seeing your pic posted on this site, Muse, possibly two of them. The one I remember more vividly is the one with long hair. If you want my advice I think you should cut it. It's not that I'm averse to long hair (I've had it myself) but some of us dudes just look better with short hair. In your case it looked like something coarse that was run through a straightener, an almost fake look. That probably sounds terrible, but I'm trying to help you, and the year-old memory could be a bit off (it might not even have been you, and I might be totally embarrassing myself right now). In fact, you should explore every possibility: contacts, facial hair, etc. Keep changing up your look and getting feedback until you have one that works. I think that everyone can look good if they just do the right things with their face, but the only issue is that others are too afraid to tell them what to change.

Secondly, since you're like me and you're into women who like good music, I know something you can try. When you're in a public place - coffee shop, bus/train stop, somewhere with people - blare your earphones so that the music is audible to those near you. This gives women a reason to look at you. More importantly, it makes you stand out from everyone else - makes you seem more interesting - and attracts the attention of whoever might be into similar music. It gives them something to be attracted to before they even speak to you, so it serves the same function as looks. I'm no Tom Cruise, but I've even had a cute blonde-type with very little in common hit on me out of the blue when I was doing this. Try it out, who knows, and go out as much as possible. Anyway, this is the only stuff I can add at this hour that hasn't been already said.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I know something you can try. When you're in a public place - coffee shop, bus/train stop, somewhere with people - blare your earphones so that the music is audible to those near you. This gives women a reason to look at you. More importantly, it makes you stand out from everyone else - makes you seem more interesting - and attracts the attention of whoever might be into similar music.

The reason a lot of people would look at you when blaring music are not doing it for positive reasons...

• What an idiot. He's gong to be hard of hearing later.
• Who does he think he is, disturbing my personal space with his music?
• Does he REALLY think that's cool?

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

Ive sat back with friends & they've said how attracted they are to a certain girl & Ive thort wow Ive never even looked at her that way, we all have differnt prefrences sometimes what we find attractive isnt the same to others, people are differnt in what they are looking for in a relationship aswell, I like to think of a loving & meaningful relationship as a house, a house built with its foundations in shallow sand will more often than not crumble at the first storm, wheres a relationship with its foundations built on rock will endure storm after storm, some are people are very shallow, focused purely on one aspect of a person merely looking skin deep, 9 times out of ten these types tend to go from relationship to relationship never finding anything that last's because the foundations of the house were set in sand, while others who tend to look at a wider perspective tend to have longer & more meaningful relationships cos the foundations were set in stone, one thing I know is true personality is nine tenths of the law, most women are very self conscious so if you can make someone feel beauitful about them selves, cared for, totaly adored, appreciated and loved they tend to see past the things ur self conscious about in urself and totaly love you for the caring person you are, so my answer to your question is yes, I'd just like to say this though, '' there's no point in dating if your heart is ugly!''

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oh one more thing some people wont even give a guy/girl a chance for a date at first glance cos they are only looking at a single aspect, those type are the house built in sand type so dont even fret, keep searching cos theres plenty of the set in rock types who will give you a chance to show youre heart just be ready when that happens good luck!

 

[VanillaCreme]

I've just completely read this thread, and this stood out to me.

What's ugly to one person isn't exactly ugly to another.

In a perfect society that may be correct. However, the media has completely warped society's perception of beauty. While there are exceptions, there are generally accepted attributes in appearance that the media has brainwashed us into seeing as unattractive...

Height (or lack of)
Being over/underweight
Asymmetrical features

That was the point of Legato's post, or what I assume it was. The point was that not everyone thinks the same, regardless of what common society puts into most people's brains. Believe it or not, there are some people who really could give two squirts less a care about the generalization of society's beauty.

For example, and I've actually seen people say this on these forums: Brad Pitt and George Clooney may be attractive fellows. They may be the apple in a lot of people's eyes. But not every female wants a Brad Pitt or a George Clooney. I know for me, they aren't the definition of being attractive. And it has nothing to do with them, really... I know I just wouldn't look their way.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I've just completely read this thread, and this stood out to me.

What's ugly to one person isn't exactly ugly to another.

In a perfect society that may be correct. However, the media has completely warped society's perception of beauty. While there are exceptions, there are generally accepted attributes in appearance that the media has brainwashed us into seeing as unattractive...

Height (or lack of)
Being over/underweight
Asymmetrical features

That was the point of Legato's post, or what I assume it was. The point was that not everyone thinks the same, regardless of what common society puts into most people's brains. Believe it or not, there are some people who really could give two squirts less a care about the generalization of society's beauty.

There absolutely are people like that, but they are a miniscule percentage of the general populous based on my experience.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

There absolutely are people like that, but they are a miniscule percentage of the general populous based on my experience.

Telling yourself things like that is where you get into trouble.

 

[VanillaCreme]

There absolutely are people like that, but they are a miniscule percentage of the general populous based on my experience.

Telling yourself things like that is where you get into trouble.

Indeed. Because experience is ever-going.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think people's tastes evolve as they get older, too.