Is there any point in trying to date if you are ugly?

[WildernessWildChild]

It's hard not feel this way when you've been told multiple times, in essence, that you are too ugly for someone to date.

I've been told this before too, and I never let it stop me. People can think I'm ugly, they can think I'm pretty, I don't care. I'm still going to do what I want. I have been told I'm pretty before as well, which is lovely to hear, although I don't believe in it myself. And I could care less if I'm ugly. Go look at someone else if you don't like my face.

I've got no idea what you look like but I do know you're pretty inspiring. +1

 

[Mike510]

Being attractive or unattractive is not a sure thing. What one person thinks can be totally different from the next. You just need to find a person who will find you attractive and I am sure there have been people in your life who have found you attractive but they are to shy or don't know how to approach you.

 

[perfanoff]

I'm pretty sure that some features are simply unattractive for virtually 100% of people like yellow or broken teeth, acne, posture etc.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm pretty sure that some features are simply unattractive for virtually 100% of people like yellow or broken teeth, acne, posture etc.

Perfs makes a legitimate point here. *nods in approval*

 

[Mike510]

Acne isn't really something I would say is unattractive. Most the kids I went to high school with had a lot of it and that didn't stop them from getting a date.

 

[defenestrate]

I'm pretty sure that some features are simply unattractive for virtually 100% of people like yellow or broken teeth, acne, posture etc.

Incidentally I know three different men who have one of the following:\

The man with broken teeth is extremely popular in clubs and has no problem making friends.

The man with deep cystic acne is the lead sales representative for a certain business/nameless location who is happily married to his wife and interactions with the public each day while connecting with strangers.

The man with poor posture works in a hospice and is also married.

Maybe these features do not make dating hopeless?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Im not sure that Perf meant it made dating impossible. I think he just meant that a large portion of the population might share similar dislikes?

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm pretty sure that some features are simply unattractive for virtually 100% of people like yellow or broken teeth, acne, posture etc.

Perfs makes a legitimate point here. *nods in approval*

I actually disagree with this, although I understand the point being made. A lot of people look past these issues over time, if not right away.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'm pretty sure that some features are simply unattractive for virtually 100% of people like yellow or broken teeth, acne, posture etc.

Perfs makes a legitimate point here. *nods in approval*

I actually disagree with this, although I understand the point being made. A lot of people look past these issues over time, if not right away.

Oh I dont think anyone is saying that people wont/dont look past things - not at all. Im just saying that a good majority of people woould have similar dislikes.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I'm pretty sure that some features are simply unattractive for virtually 100% of people like yellow or broken teeth, acne, posture etc.

Just like I said in another post.....

 

[defenestrate]

It isn't meant as a cause for argument. Just an idea that some people value other things differently. I know it doesn't change any of the awful things you've been told LonelyInAlt. It's hurtful being torn down like that.

 

[Evil_Genius]

I look like the back end of a bus, and I am able to pull (less so recently due to relationships) with alarming and almost tedious regularity. The trick is to be able to talk. Is it scary, yes. does it get easier yes, but not totally. Sometimes you need to think like a predator. Know your prey, move in and just talk. Confidence is more important than looks and in the early days your confidence is gonna take a mauling. You just need to learn not to put all your hopes in one basket.

 

[perfanoff]

Nono I also agree that people can look past these issues. But I am dead certain that it is harder for people who have such and such unattractive quality to date, compared to those who don't.

This shouldn't discourage them at all from looking for AND finding someone though.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Nono I also agree that people can look past these issues. But I am dead certain that it is harder for people who have such and such unattractive quality to date, compared to those who don't.

This shouldn't discourage them at all from looking for AND finding someone though.

Maybe it shouldn't, but people can only take so much. constant rejection and derogatory comments. Eventually, it becomes less painful to be alone than it is to handle the rejection.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've never thought of posture as being bad.

Glasses, though, I've often felt has hindered me. If it were possible for me to get contacts, I'd probably have a dating opportunity.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What's wrong with glasses? Lots of people like glasses.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Nothing's wrong with them, but the amount of people who are attracted to people with glasses is limited. As opposed to contacts.

I've been told by at least 12 different girls that I suddenly become attractive, if I take off my glasses. The one time I tried contacts (and it was limited, because I have dry eye syndrome and can't see worth a damn with them in), and I went to a college bookstore, the same girl who had run my books a couple of times when I paid for them, and pretended that I didn't exist, flirted with me. The only difference I could see was that my glasses were gone, because I was the same person otherwise.

 

[Edward W]

Glasses are sexy. Fact.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Maybe on some people.

Either that, or I don't have the right type of glasses?

 

[Susana]

I guess so.

I actually don't care about my looks when it comes to making friends. That's one area that doesn't matter...it doesn't matter what you look like, if you are a good person, you're my friend, and I'd hope it would be vice versa.

The issue I have is with dating and women. Not female friends. Most of my friends are female, but they either think of me as the gay brother, or the asexual friend. None of them see me as a sexual being.

Nobody is unattractive .. attractiveness comes from within yourself. Just show your true self, and your heart will attract someone who deserves you. Don't stress too much about it and just concentrate on YOU and the rest will fall into place ;-)