The woman you lose your v-card to is going to be permanently burned into the back of your brain (at least by name, if nothing else) for the rest of your damn life. Do you want that person to be an escort??
Make it
mean something to you, man...even if you have to start off with: "I was young, dumb, and in love..." that's better than: "I took a high risk and went with an escort."
Not all dudes with big dicks are awesome in bed, either.
Okay yeah, they can ****, and they can **** for a while.
But a lot of the damn time, they don't really typically know how to touch a woman,
and can kind of think that just because they have a big **** that they're doing everything right.
What I mean is, there's a difference between aggressive ***, and emotionally meaningful ***.
Part of the confusion and grey area we get as men comes out from the general consensus we get from women which is that they kind of need a bit of both but at different times and for different reasons. At least, that's what I've experienced in my personal life and with women I've talked to about *** and been with sexually.
I'm actually really not that sexually active and probably have a lower libido, BUT, *** is no longer a topic I have troubles or insecurities discussing, either.
You've also got the factor that (and this is the kicker
different people are going to be into different things sexually, okay?? You can be a great sexual partner and totally never know it or never get recognition for it as a man simply just because you're having *** with a woman that has different kinks and fetishes than you do.
I
can be sexually aggressive, but I typically prefer not to. It requires so much goddamned effort that it's nearly not even worth it for me. I actually have to be slightly (though not too much) inebriated in order to be able to be comfortable enough to take on that kind of a responsibility.
I honestly killed my performance anxiety issues and insecurities about size as a man (I'm between 5 and 6 inches) through group *** in my early 20's when I was drinking a lot and becoming a bit experimental. I found that to be an ironic experience, because I initially thought I'd hate it but, there's a primal aspect to it that under the right state can be very relaxing....though I suppose that's probably true of every sexual experience as well.
That's also half of how I developed an interest into BDSM, though I've...never really been able to totally find my place in the BDSM world...I'm not really cliche Dominant enough to call myself a "Dom" outside of
having to default on something to give some sort of a direction or definition, but I'm also sure as ******* Hell not into being submissive or a slave, either.
I honestly prefer intimate ***. It means more to me. It's easy for people to be naked: as in, without clothes...but it's much, MUCH harder for people to be truly naked: That is, completely bearing their soul to another individual.
I've done monogamous and poly relationships both with girls I initially settled for but quickly fell head over heels for, and with girls that I was only predominately sexually attracted to but found that for some reason I actually enjoyed their company despite some personality differences. I try to be humbled by life and not look at the negative side of things despite my natural incentive to do so because I am inherently a pessimist.
I rationally settle for being single these days despite my desire to actually want to be with someone. I had to learn how to be independent because co-dependency proved to be a factor of variables that I could not manage, so since I can manage myself as an adult I chose to just take that on instead, figuring that at least if "I" **** things up for myself, at least I can correct me, and better me. That's very specifically a self thing with me though...I have a...complicated, painful life, to say the least...anyway:
The other factor you're going to have to deal with is:
Unfortunately, the world is full of an epic shitload of totally shallow people: Men and Women alike.
"**** 'em..." don't listen to them.
It's easy to be shallow, simple, and stupid: Don't listen to or subscribe to that crap, because that's part of what's wrong with the world we live in.
Just_Be_You.
That's it man.
And if you land on the right girl, that likes you for you? Well, then that's the dream we all dream for as men, right?
As for ***?
Okay, so say you land on the right girl that likes you for you, but you don't have any sexual chemistry.
That can happen. It's actually not that uncommon. Chances are it amounts to a difference in perception. You two would both be incorrectly perceiving each other, rather than seeing each other as how the two of you actually are. THAT, is a very difficult and rather painful experience.
So what if you land on no girl at all, and how can you change that?
Have you ever considered that you might be "looking" in all the wrong places, and that your "types" aren't actually properly acclimated to you??
It's easy to be attracted to someone. Any ************ can be attracted, man or woman...
It's HARDER and MORE DIFFICULT however, to actually narrow down your attractions...
You've gotta separate what you want from what you need, and that can and will usually be quite difficult, perhaps at some times the most difficult decision making process that you will ever face. HOWEVER, all you have to do is be able to pull this specific thing off (separating your wants from your needs)
and that will entirely change how you live your life and think about things. (Hint: If you want to actually be happy in the long term: sacrifice the short term, and go with the needs. If you don't care about your future and you're more interested in what's in front of you right now, follow what you want).
I could blow this up way more than what I'm already unfortunately doing but I'm going to resign from it to spare everyone my plethora. Anyway, this is just the general outlook I have about the world of *** and dynamics from a standpoint of when I had no experience versus to how I understand things currently.
