HellsLittleAngel
Well-known member
I don't believe anyone's an incel on earth. I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky. But, don't forget, you're choosing to be an incel.
What the hell is a incel?I don't believe anyone's an incel on earth. I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky. But, don't forget, you're choosing to be an incel.
I know, all these new words just aren't working out for me, it's claiming that it's a member of a community who feels they're never attractive enough sexually, or something of that nature. Ridiculous. Some people think that's the end of the world.What the hell is a incel?
Well I'm not one thenI know, all these new words just aren't working out for me, it's claiming that it's a member of a community who feels they're never attractive enough sexually, or something of that nature. Ridiculous. Some people think that's the end of the world.
I know, and as a woman, even though it's a question for a man, I'm not one of them either.Well I'm not one then![]()
I have often wondered what Donald trump's real name is. He must be doing something right, also Putin. You could make a fantasy fiction novel from those names. Put in a trump load of old Donald about it even. PresidentiallyYou know, I've been thinking about this... in a way you did get your slice of the American Dream, not the one that is advertised to innocent fools, but the only American Dream that there really is, which is making pools of money and being able to buy anything (or almost anything) that money can buy. That's what America really is about, after all: making money. Trump is like the embodiment of this. He is the American man par excellence. Everybody is just so concerned with making money and feeding their souls into the cogwheels of the system there's barely any time for anything else. This is why I say that a fairer and more egalitarian society is not just the solution to the people's economic grievances, but to a whole plethora of problems.
Which leads us to the problem of the conservative-reactionary utopia of establishing some kind of fascistoid, possibly militaresque dictatorship and enforcing traditional morals and behaviour onto the people. That just doesn't work. I know it doesn't because we've had this in the 80s and it didn't work, it just generated resented people and once the regime was weakened, in this case due to the inevitable global economic crisis that sooner or later strikes a highly globalized world, the resented people came out to the streets and demanded the end of the regime. In the end, the regime really ended. And how is this utopia even supposed to come about, in the first place? A bunch of sexually frustrated men will take up arms, do a coup and force all the women to be married and stay at home, lose their voting rights etc.? That's not how history works. The cogwheels of history only move foward, they might seem to be moving backwards at some points in time, but the fact is that they only move foward.
When thinking about social problems and their solutions, we should take all of this into consideration. Otherwise it's just LARPing.
There's picky and then there is reasonable.I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky.
Reasonable seems to change as you get older. 25 year-olds can date whoever they want on the basis of attraction and we just accept that's normal and healthy for them. Past 40 though, it's like you're expected to somehow have evolved beyond that, as if you and your potential partner were like two genderless beings relating on a purely intellectual/emotional level.There's picky and then there is reasonable.
Would you want to pair off with a Rosie O'Donnell lookalike?
Imagine you got to your forties without one iota of experience, only to find that now your socially acceptable dating pool consists of men who look like Tim Taylor from Home Improvement. (Except probably in far worse physical shape, divorced and with a ton of relationship baggage stretching back decades.) Then people called you picky, creepy, or delusional for not finding this appealing.There's picky and then there's so picky only 100 people in the world would meet your expectations......
See, I'm kind of calling bs on this because unless you were living under a rock, you can't say you don't have experience. Okay, fine, you maybe not have actual psychical experience with a girl, but you know how it's done. You've seen it done, you've possibly done it yourself with tools. So no, I'm sorry, you DO have experience with sex. Just solo sex. So while okay fine, you're a virgin, you're not exactly clueless.Imagine you got to your forties without one iota of experience, only to find that now your socially acceptable dating pool consists of men who look like Tim Taylor from Home Improvement. (Except probably in far worse physical shape, divorced and with a ton of relationship baggage stretching back decades.) Then people called you picky, creepy, or delusional for not finding this appealing.
Don't be disingenuous. Relevant relationship experience, not just existing in society as time passes.See, I'm kind of calling bs on this because unless you were living under a rock, you can't say you don't have experience. Okay, fine, you maybe not have actual psychical experience with a girl, but you know how it's done. You've seen it done, you've possibly done it yourself with tools. So no, I'm sorry, you DO have experience with sex. Just solo sex. So while okay fine, you're a virgin, you're not exactly clueless.
Good for you. I can't find Jill Taylor appealing no matter how great of a person she may be. So either you're a better person, have the benefit of experience, or maybe men and women are different. Whatever. Can't change it.I don't think Tim Taylor is all that unappealing. Sure, there are better looking guys out there, but I'm sorry, looks don't make the man for me, their actions, personality and words do. A guy doesn't have to be remarkably fit or experienced or good looking for me to find him attractive.
It's not about wild oats, casual hookups, or any of that. Nobody imagines their first partner being a middle aged person. It's so outside of normal it requires no explanation.I'd say a lot of your problem is that you refuse to stop living in the past. You are so hell bent on living your 20's that you can't focus or see anything else. Yeah, fine you had some **** in that part of your life and you didn't get to go sow your wild oats. That's also not the end all be all of life. You didn't miss much. Although, I could be wrong, I was in an abusive marriage for my 20's. But, I was having sex, so it's all good, right? Who cares that I missed out, I got sex! It's all a matter of perspective and yours, no offense, kind of sucks.
Most people out there suck. Let's just get that out of the way. If you figure out what your ideal mate is and then narrow that down to someone you could actually reasonably be happy with, then narrow that down to people that exist in the few places you spend most of your life... it's tough gettin' out there unless you're social with hobbies.
The best advice I give younger guys and would give younger me is to stop caring what people think about you. Be the best and cleanest version of yourself that you can manage and live a life that makes you happy. Put yourself out there to date people that you're attracted to. And above all else: consider the date a two-way interviewing process in which they need to also impress you. Don't go into it thinking that they're so far above you and you're having to impress them. If they're the one you will live comfortably with, the natural comfort and chemistry should be there.
And if that fails, buy a really fuzzy sock and call it a day.
I don't believe anyone's an incel on earth. I feel there's someone for everyone, and like Callie said, people are just picky. But, don't forget, you're choosing to be an incel.
I'd say a lot of your problem is that you refuse to stop living in the past. You are so hell bent on living your 20's that you can't focus or see anything else. Yeah, fine you had some **** in that part of your life and you didn't get to go sow your wild oats. That's also not the end all be all of life. You didn't miss much. Although, I could be wrong, I was in an abusive marriage for my 20's. But, I was having sex, so it's all good, right? Who cares that I missed out, I got sex! It's all a matter of perspective and yours, no offense, kind of sucks.
I could be thinking of someone else here, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't you either been on dates or have been asked out? That's experience. Just because you go on a date doesn't mean you're getting married or even rolling in the hay. It just two people getting to know each other better for a few hours.Don't be disingenuous. Relevant relationship experience, not just existing in society as time passes.
Good for you. I can't find Jill Taylor appealing no matter how great of a person she may be. So either you're a better person, have the benefit of experience, or maybe men and women are different. Whatever. Can't change it.
It's not about wild oats, casual hookups, or any of that. Nobody imagines their first partner being a middle aged person. It's so outside of normal it requires no explanation.
If your entire focus was always having kids, then bypassing all the earlier adult stuff might be okay. But with most people, having a family is at the end stage of a whole string of other younger adult experiences.I would say this part applies to me. I just want those wild years in my 20s that everyone else got; you meet someone, date for a while, go on weekends away with no issues, go to the beach at 10PM on a Wednesday just because you feel like it, you break up and you start again. I want that, I have no desire to go from zero to 2.5 kids and a mortgage..
One friend of a friend in her mid 40s and almost certainly an alcoholic, tried to force drinks down me for hours then get me to stay the night at hers. One date with a woman in her early thirties. As soon as I stupidly mentioned not having had a serious relationship before, she started looking at me like I was something she stepped in and that was that.I could be thinking of someone else here, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't you either been on dates or have been asked out? That's experience. Just because you go on a date doesn't mean you're getting married or even rolling in the hay. It just two people getting to know each other better for a few hours.
I know that look.she started looking at me like I was something she stepped in
If your entire focus was always having kids, then bypassing all the earlier adult stuff might be okay. But with most people, having a family is at the end stage of a whole string of other younger adult experiences.