My extensive rant on women, relationships, dating, PUA, and society

[SophiaGrace]

Such talk is bull

Nice argument you got there.

 

[Jeff]

Such talk is bull and is only rationalization to make yourself feel better.

Nice argument you got there.

Thanks.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ive been asked out by plenty of women.
And Ive rejected women that came after me or chased me.

An Im an asian dude. Sometimes living in bogotry country. Or at the very least
Im . 000001% of the population.

The women that ask me out or my taste of women are all beautiful cucasion women or EYES Candie...which other men chases after and want.

At some level these women have very high self esteem or confidence becuase theyre going againt the grain of traditions and whatever the **** esle peer presure or societys presure..

These women knows what they want and they go after it...Luckie for me Im a guy that they want. Sometimes its just for ***...striaght up women had apprpoched me and told me thats all they want is to have *** with me..No strings..while others wants to build a relationship.

At the sametime being as assertive as these women are. Getting want they want..sometimes it gets cross into controlling.
But its something that comes with the territory or theres two sides of the same coin..

---

At the sametime...Being or having been asked out by plenty of beautiful women...I guess that would make me some what picky when I go out and ask other women..It boosts my EGO or confident...its all how I percieve it.

These experinces makes a huge difference becuase my mind and body
processed it or went through a sort of learning curve. Its not mistery or therory to me...

Women that I rejected propably thinks Im a stuck up prick. a duchie bag, shallow or whatever ther **** becuase Ill only go after my taste of women...
It might sound mean..but dudes I cant get drunk enough to bang an ugly mean fat *****. Im not that hard up.
So why waste her time or use her if Im not going to get turn on or love her.

---

****...its realitively the samething if someone trying to force me to eat something that totally discuss me
Then try to convience me eating
bitter food is good for me....

Well ****...theres sweet tasting food thats good for me too.

---

At the sametime theres plenty of women or people in general thats going to hate me or simply dont want anything to do with me....Yeah biggotry. Racism or whatever the ****. Total rejections..

Welll...Thats cool too. If I discuss these people..why waste their time or my time trying to convience that they need or ought to accpet me or love me...becuase of whatever the **** high moral grounds.

The world and life can be a hateful
fucken place and unfair. It is what it is...At the sametime I dont have to lose myself or drown in it.

---

As unfair as ther mother fucken ***** can be to me...most of the time more often than not.

Evidently The fucken ***** didnt singled me out to be unfair too..

Self pity gets me no fucken where

 

[Lonesome Crow]

BURST THE FUCKEN BUBBLE.

 

[Badjedidude]

POP THE FUCKEN CHURRY.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its still funnie was **** dudes...
Still to this day.
Theres like too Hawt babes...boith blondes. Drop dead gorgeous super model type. One in her 20s. The other one in her 30s..The prettiest two babes out of the pack Both of these women are very nice to me and make themselve available to me. I"M over 40...
Thats my experince.. Thats the pattern in my life.

 

[Limlim]

EATING THE PORK CHOP!

 

[Badjedidude]

CHOP THE PORK BUBBLE!!!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

There's an interesting and important distinction to make on some of the comments here previously. I think when guys say they like women to "pursue" them, what they actually mean is they like women to respond clearly to their advances.

I once had a girl who was very keen on me, but at the time I really wasn't ready for a relationship and I felt pressured and uncomfortable when she was active in showing an interest. As a result I turned her down, and we remained good friends.

I think it's because as guys we're "trained" to expect women to reject us, but we don't expect to have to reject women, so it makes us feel weird as it's an unusual role reversal.

On the other hand, I respect a girl a lot if she lets me know what's going on with her quickly. If she's not interested - fine, but it helps enormously if that's communicated promptly.

There's not much more frustrating than my current situation, a lady who seems really interested but is impossible to read with accepable certainty.

So I think that's what we usually mean with the whole pursuing thing. Much of the time girls actually coming onto us takes us out of a comfort zone; though of course, it's not always bad, sometimes it's very refreshing! Really, we just like girls to be easy to interpret.

 

[Pheenix]

I think when guys say they like women to "pursue" them, what they actually mean is they like women to respond clearly to their advances.

I don't, at least personally, agree.

 

[nerdygirl]

Jeff, I'm not known for making sweeping generalizations or for saying random crap as I go along. I'm not here to say that I'm a mind reader or to make excuses for anybody.

If you really need specific stories, I can tell you that I was friends with both- "Joe" and "Mandy", and I knew they were both very interested in each other. Our circle of friends were urging "Joe" to ask "Mandy" out, and "Mandy" approached "Joe" first. He suddenly lost interest. I've known more than one "Joe" and "Mandy".

Further, I've also been friends with "Mike", who was almost obsessed with "Tina", but too shy to approach her... and when "Tina" ended up approaching him, he rejected her, and later told us she was pushy for asking him out. There have been more than one "Mike" and "Tina", too.

It happens. Men and women both ask people out and get rejected, and some of the men who reject women do it because they don't like it when girls initiate. I don't know why you find that impossible to fathom, but yes. It happens. I'm not saying it happens every time, but it happens.

 

[Jeff]

If you really need specific stories, I can tell you that I was friends with both- "Joe" and "Mandy", and I knew they were both very interested in each other. Our circle of friends were urging "Joe" to ask "Mandy" out, and "Mandy" approached "Joe" first. He suddenly lost interest. I've known more than one "Joe" and "Mandy".

If a guy and a girl really like each other, neither would care much if they were asked. The main goal is to take it to the next level.

The guy you describe maybe wasn't as interested in her as she was in him or he had some other issues to deal with.

I've never heard of guys suddenly losing interest in a girl because she asks him out. Girls say it happens but I've never heard it from guys. It sounds like some crap girls use to encourage guys to ask more often so the girls don't have to do any work themselves.

Every time I've seen this issue come up about girls asking guys out, most guys always say they'd love it. This happens all over the internet and in real life. But then most girls say it's a bad idea and bust out their book of excuses.. for example "guys like the chase," "us girls might look too easy," "guys hate it," "i'm insecure," "he might think I'm ugly" and other BS excuses to get out of taking the risk of rejection.

The only guys I've known that were totally against girls asking guys out were PUA type guys. Those guys feel like a girl asking them out is a loss of control. They would rather have all women just sit back and wait to be approached. Then they'd compete for the prettiest ones and leave the leftovers for someone else. And that is purely a control thing. These guys don't want to have to deal with the ugly girls at all.

For the girls, that might work if you're considered "pretty" amongst all the other girls, but if you're the "leftovers," well then you're just out of luck.

You want to do it that way, that's fine. If that's the case, don't complain that you can't find the right guy, don't complain that guys are scared to approach, don't complain that guys don't approach right, don't complain that you have it just as hard as guys.

When you leave your destiny in other peoples hands, you waive your right to complain when the outcome isn't in your favor.

Further, I've also been friends with "Mike", who was almost obsessed with "Tina", but too shy to approach her... and when "Tina" ended up approaching him, he rejected her, and later told us she was pushy for asking him out. There have been more than one "Mike" and "Tina", too.

That doesn't even make any sense. The guy sounds like fool and he's only hurting himself. Once again, he probably has his own issues to deal with.

 

[Equinox]

I've come to realize that Jeff and I aren't even speaking the same language. I actually do give up on a debate when my "opponent" keeps making up his own meaning about words and terms. (No, "bad boy" has nothing to do with looks, it's a term used to descripe attitude and behaviour.) Also, lowering oneself to arguments like "such talk is bull" and making assumptions about how others do things, why they do it and how they feel, tells me that I'm above continuing this parody of a debate, and thus making this my last post here. (Besides, whenever I or someone else counters one of OP/Jeff's arguments, they just find something new (and more pointless) to argue about, instead of just owning up that "fine, you're right about that" and moving on. I'm sure that if this continues, sooner or later someone will end up with "But does YOUR grandmother have purple hair?" as an argument.)

Furthermore, this dance has already been danced over and over again. We're repeated our arguments so many times I've lost count, and I for one think it's getting flat out ridiculous. For the last two pages I can't even see what's actually being discussed anymore; it's certainly not whether or not "all girls are conspiring against men", as the OP startet out with. Now it seems to be pointless opinions about "who makes the most effort and how and why and whatever". It's reached a point where it goes something like this: X)"Women are mean because of this and that!" Y)"Maybe, but men also do this and that." X)"Yes, but women does this and that too!" Y)"Uhm, yeah, we've sort of already covered that." and so on. From this I think we safely can conclude that:

1. All women are NOT evil, shallow temptresses that only go after "bad boys" and always can get what they want.
2. Whichever arguments one makes about women and dating, also applies for men.
3. There are exceptions in both "camps". There ARE shallow women out there who have it easy, just like there are shallow men who have it easy.
4. The main difference doesn't lie with "men vs women" but with "pretty/handsome vs normal".
5a. No one, no matter gender, can expect to sit at home and just wait for someone to knock on their door. Man or woman, some effort must be made to find the right partner.
5b. Still, some people (men and women) do just that. Most, however, don't.
6. There is a physical, mental and chemical difference between men and women. One of the (many) aspects of life this is reflected upon, is dating. Most men DO prefer to be the "pursuer", and most women DO prefer to be the "pursuee". One can blame "social codes" as much as one like; this is biology.
7. Looks does matter, to men and women alike. However, people have different likings, and that's why saying things like "women/men only go for the handsome/pretty guys/girls" isn't accurate, because what's considered "handsome/pretty" can vary greatly from one woman/man to the next.
8. The most probable reason why there are more single, desperate men than women (if that is the case), is that a lot of women won't "lower their standards", so to speak. "Lowering standards", however, is usually about more than superficial things like looks and money. It usually comes down to "how well do I click with this person, and am I willing to give it a try even if I don't really feel the connection?".
9. Most women who are unhappy about being single, is more upset about not having found The Right Person™, than they are about not having any random person at all.
10. It may be unfair that men are more "desperate" than women (if that is the case), and thus are willing to "do" more to find one, but a lot of things in life isn't fair. It's pointless and stupid to become aggressive and rude towards the entire female gender just because a man feel he has the "right" to score a date.

To sum up, before I take my leave: Nothing is "rigged". Dating is not a "battle of the genders". It all comes down to individual attraction and chemistry. One either feel something, or one doesn't. Some people are willing to be with just about anybody simply to avoid being alone, and that's fine - however, these people can't expect the same from everyone else. If you've approached a lot of women/men, and every single one of them has turned you down, it's probably wiser to take a look at yourself and your own issues, instead of blaming everyone else. Being bitter and frustrated explaines such behaviour and bashing, but it doesn't excuse it. Having a partner is not a "right"; you wither find someone who's compatible to you, or you don't. The attraction must me mutual. You can't "blame" the other person if they don't feel the same way.

Good night, enjoy your continued bickering and insults, and pip-pip.

P.S. I'm just making an observation ... "Firebird" stopped posting on September 7th. "Jeff" showed up on September 8th. They've both pretty much just posted on these "women are horrible" rants, and seem to use pretty much the same pointless and incoherent "arguments". Coincidence? I suppose it's possible.

 

[Badjedidude]

1. All women are NOT evil, shallow temptresses that only go after "bad boys" and always can get what they want.
2. Whichever arguments one makes about women and dating, also applies for men.
3. There are exceptions in both "camps". There ARE shallow women out there who have it easy, just like there are shallow men who have it easy.
4. The main difference doesn't lie with "men vs women" but with "pretty/handsome vs normal".
5a. No one, no matter gender, can expect to sit at home and just wait for someone to knock on their door. Man or woman, some effort must be made to find the right partner.
5b. Still, some people (men and women) do just that. Most, however, don't.
6. There is a physical, mental and chemical difference between men and women. One of the (many) aspects of life this is reflected upon, is dating. Most men DO prefer to be the "pursuer", and most women DO prefer to be the "pursuee". One can blame "social codes" as much as one like; this is biology.
7. Looks does matter, to men and women alike. However, people have different likings, and that's why saying things like "women/men only go for the handsome/pretty guys/girls" isn't accurate, because what's considered "handsome/pretty" can vary greatly from one woman/man to the next.
8. The most probable reason why there are more single, desperate men than women (if that is the case), is that a lot of women won't "lower their standards", so to speak. "Lowering standards", however, is usually about more than superficial things like looks and money. It usually comes down to "how well do I click with this person, and am I willing to give it a try even if I don't really feel the connection?".
9. Most women who are unhappy about being single, is more upset about not having found The Right Person™, than they are about not having any random person at all.
10. It may be unfair that men are more "desperate" than women (if that is the case), and thus are willing to "do" more to find one, but a lot of things in life isn't fair. It's pointless and stupid to become aggressive and rude towards the entire female gender just because a man feel he has the "right" to score a date.

Damn, woman.

Why aren't you writing self-help books?

This is good stuff.

Very well said.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Such talk is bull

Nice argument you got there.

Thanks.

 

[Jeff]

Such talk is bull

Nice argument you got there.

Thanks.

Yeah, you couldn't bash me if you quoted the whole sentence so you had to only take part of it out of context.

Not exactly that bright are you? Can't refute any of my points so you resort to bashing. How mature.

---

I've come to realize that Jeff and I aren't even speaking the same language. I actually do give up on a debate when my "opponent" keeps making up his own meaning about words and terms. (No, "bad boy" has nothing to do with looks, it's a term used to descripe attitude and behaviour.)

Girls and guys both go off of looks to some extent. I've never heard anyone say that their BF/GF was ugly unless they were only with them to use them.

So to say it has nothing to do with looks is a flat out lie.

1. All women are NOT evil, shallow temptresses that only go after "bad boys" and always can get what they want.

Enough are though that it has become a stereotype.

2. Whichever arguments one makes about women and dating, also applies for men.
3. There are exceptions in both "camps". There ARE shallow women out there who have it easy, just like there are shallow men who have it easy.
..


5a. No one, no matter gender, can expect to sit at home and just wait for someone to knock on their door. Man or woman, some effort must be made to find the right partner.
5b. Still, some people (men and women) do just that. Most, however, don't.

I agree with all that.

4. The main difference doesn't lie with "men vs women" but with "pretty/handsome vs normal".
..
6. There is a physical, mental and chemical difference between men and women. One of the (many) aspects of life this is reflected upon, is dating. Most men DO prefer to be the "pursuer", and most women DO prefer to be the "pursuee". One can blame "social codes" as much as one like; this is biology.

That is double-speak. It's either men vs. women, or it's not. In number 4 you said it isn't, in number 6 you imply it is because of gender differences.

And I'm sure it's nice to fall back on the excuse of "it's biology" when it favors your gender.

7. Looks does matter, to men and women alike. However, people have different likings, and that's why saying things like "women/men only go for the handsome/pretty guys/girls" isn't accurate, because what's considered "handsome/pretty" can vary greatly from one woman/man to the next.

There isn't much variation between different men or different women as to what's found attractive in the opposite ***. Studies prove that certain people that have certain physical qualities are most in demand.

The problem here is that people are pickier these days about looks. And that is forcing many people like me and others in this thread to get shut out. So generally speaking, those sayings are true.. besides the "only go for" part, because there are exceptions to the rule.

8. The most probable reason why there are more single, desperate men than women (if that is the case), is that a lot of women won't "lower their standards", so to speak. "Lowering standards", however, is usually about more than superficial things like looks and money. It usually comes down to "how well do I click with this person, and am I willing to give it a try even if I don't really feel the connection?".

Nope, most of these "standards" women have are superficial. If they weren't, you wouldn't hear about guys and girls getting rejected all over the place because of their looks. You're just trying to make women sound less superficial than they actually are.

Many women have a sort of "princess mentality." They are raised feeling entitled to get the cutest nicest guy to come and sweep them off their feet and put them on a pedestal. Real life doesn't work that way. The sooner women realize this, the better.

9. Most women who are unhappy about being single, is more upset about not having found The Right Person™, than they are about not having any random person at all.

As a man, I've always been upset about not getting ONE PERSON, never mind THE RIGHT PERSON. So I'd say I'd agree with you on this too. Women have it easier than men for sure.

10. It may be unfair that men are more "desperate" than women (if that is the case), and thus are willing to "do" more to find one, but a lot of things in life isn't fair. It's pointless and stupid to become aggressive and rude towards the entire female gender just because a man feel he has the "right" to score a date.

Wait a minute, earlier you said it's not "men vs. women." Now you're pretty much saying it is (because women have the advantage), and that life's not fair. Which is it?

But I agree that no man (or woman) has a "right" to score a date.

To sum up, before I take my leave: Nothing is "rigged". Dating is not a "battle of the genders". It all comes down to individual attraction and chemistry.

Females definitely have an advantage over males. Doesn't make it easy for them but the playing field isn't level at all.

And about attraction and chemistry, what do people like me do when NOBODY is attracted and there is chemistry with NO ONE? Are we all supposed to jump off bridges?

 

[firebird85]

I'm sorry I read some of the posts here - this thread is one big clusterfuck and the OP is probably sitting back giggling to himself/herself. I know what thread I won't be clicking on again...

Teresa

Maybe I have a life beyond the computer? I'm glad that more guys are speaking about this issue though. It's a serious problem.

[video=youtube]

 

[A Desolate Soul]

 

[firebird85]

I've come to realize that Jeff and I aren't even speaking the same language. I actually do give up on a debate when my "opponent" keeps making up his own meaning about words and terms. (No, "bad boy" has nothing to do with looks, it's a term used to descripe attitude and behaviour.) Also, lowering oneself to arguments like "such talk is bull" and making assumptions about how others do things, why they do it and how they feel, tells me that I'm above continuing this parody of a debate, and thus making this my last post here. (Besides, whenever I or someone else counters one of OP/Jeff's arguments, they just find something new (and more pointless) to argue about, instead of just owning up that "fine, you're right about that" and moving on. I'm sure that if this continues, sooner or later someone will end up with "But does YOUR grandmother have purple hair?" as an argument.)

Furthermore, this dance has already been danced over and over again. We're repeated our arguments so many times I've lost count, and I for one think it's getting flat out ridiculous. For the last two pages I can't even see what's actually being discussed anymore; it's certainly not whether or not "all girls are conspiring against men", as the OP startet out with. Now it seems to be pointless opinions about "who makes the most effort and how and why and whatever". It's reached a point where it goes something like this: X)"Women are mean because of this and that!" Y)"Maybe, but men also do this and that." X)"Yes, but women does this and that too!" Y)"Uhm, yeah, we've sort of already covered that." and so on. From this I think we safely can conclude that:

1. All women are NOT evil, shallow temptresses that only go after "bad boys" and always can get what they want.
2. Whichever arguments one makes about women and dating, also applies for men.
3. There are exceptions in both "camps". There ARE shallow women out there who have it easy, just like there are shallow men who have it easy.
4. The main difference doesn't lie with "men vs women" but with "pretty/handsome vs normal".
5a. No one, no matter gender, can expect to sit at home and just wait for someone to knock on their door. Man or woman, some effort must be made to find the right partner.
5b. Still, some people (men and women) do just that. Most, however, don't.
6. There is a physical, mental and chemical difference between men and women. One of the (many) aspects of life this is reflected upon, is dating. Most men DO prefer to be the "pursuer", and most women DO prefer to be the "pursuee". One can blame "social codes" as much as one like; this is biology.
7. Looks does matter, to men and women alike. However, people have different likings, and that's why saying things like "women/men only go for the handsome/pretty guys/girls" isn't accurate, because what's considered "handsome/pretty" can vary greatly from one woman/man to the next.
8. The most probable reason why there are more single, desperate men than women (if that is the case), is that a lot of women won't "lower their standards", so to speak. "Lowering standards", however, is usually about more than superficial things like looks and money. It usually comes down to "how well do I click with this person, and am I willing to give it a try even if I don't really feel the connection?".
9. Most women who are unhappy about being single, is more upset about not having found The Right Person™, than they are about not having any random person at all.
10. It may be unfair that men are more "desperate" than women (if that is the case), and thus are willing to "do" more to find one, but a lot of things in life isn't fair. It's pointless and stupid to become aggressive and rude towards the entire female gender just because a man feel he has the "right" to score a date.

To sum up, before I take my leave: Nothing is "rigged". Dating is not a "battle of the genders". It all comes down to individual attraction and chemistry. One either feel something, or one doesn't. Some people are willing to be with just about anybody simply to avoid being alone, and that's fine - however, these people can't expect the same from everyone else. If you've approached a lot of women/men, and every single one of them has turned you down, it's probably wiser to take a look at yourself and your own issues, instead of blaming everyone else. Being bitter and frustrated explaines such behaviour and bashing, but it doesn't excuse it. Having a partner is not a "right"; you wither find someone who's compatible to you, or you don't. The attraction must me mutual. You can't "blame" the other person if they don't feel the same way.

Good night, enjoy your continued bickering and insults, and pip-pip.

P.S. I'm just making an observation ... "Firebird" stopped posting on September 7th. "Jeff" showed up on September 8th. They've both pretty much just posted on these "women are horrible" rants, and seem to use pretty much the same pointless and incoherent "arguments". Coincidence? I suppose it's possible.

You can deny the fact that women have the advantage in the system we are living under today but you know it I know everyone knows it's true. Like I said, instinctively. Of course being a female you're going to try and dismiss us guys who are willing to challenge the unfair status quo but that's because you've been conditioned to. Your power structure is going to end. Because a system like this can't survive. You can't have a dating system where women have all the power. No way.

---

Oh, hello! Questions! Loving it!

If she's entitled to be bitter, why is the OP not entitled to be bitter?

He IS entitled to be bitter, and I don't believe I've said otherwise. He is NOT, however, entitled to bash women, accusing them of conspiring against men, of being shallow, and basically generalizing all women in a 100% negative way. He has not met every woman on our planet, and I actually doubt he's even met 1% of them, so his accusations are highly exaggerated and flat out WRONG. As we have all told him countless times.

I just asked her in my previous post about all that stuff and she ignored it. Probably because she doesn't do those things.

Or, you know, because she's answered that question already, elsewhere, and don't feel that justifying herself to you is worth her time. I can completely relate to that.

I agree with OP in the sense that I believe women have it easier than men in the dating scene. I didn't say they have it easy, just easier than men, there is a difference.

I will partly agree to this. I believe that PRETTY women have it easier than men. Us more normal ones, though, not so much. Also, what the OP is saying, is that women have it EASY, and that we're deliberately rejecting men who aren't "bad boys" because that's the ONLY type of guy any girl would want, because we're all soooo shallow. Being a girl, I know better. He's just saying this because he needs an excuse as to why he's single, and he doesn't want to face the fact that the problem lies with HIM, not the entire female gender.

They don't have any right to complain about not having a BF or not finding the right guy when they don't approach and ask guys out themselves. What do you expect when you rely on guys to ask you out? You have to deal with what's presented to you. And if nobody approaches you or the wrong guys approach you, and you don't try to get someone yourself, then you deserve to have no one. That's the consequence of being lazy.

I will agree to this, too. But, this also goes for the men. It's not a gender issue, it's a people issue. The OP, however, is trying to place all blame on the women.

Honestly, this thread wasn't exactly a fair debate.. most of it was bashing. You expect me to base my point of view on some dumb forum bashing?

Again, I partly agree. Most of it has turned to bashing, but you know what? The OP pretty much set the standard when he started bashing women in general to begin with. Besides, when he clearly refused to listen to the more rational and to-the-point answers people gave him first, and just continued his bashing, ignoring everyone's replies, what is one to do? I didn't accuse him of trolling just to be mean; I did it because I seriously thought that's what he was doing, based on his posts. Nothing he wrote made sense, none of it even implied that he'd actually read our answers, and his continued bashing was just insulting. I suppose the easiest thing to do would be to just ignore him, but I have a short temper when it comes to lies. If the OP wishes to keep believing his lies (which, by the way, will in no way make things better for him), then fine. Spreading his lies and hostility, however, is not fine. That's what set me off.

Example: I say "Jeff, you are a shallow, mean jerk who just want to abuse women". You reply "No, I'm not. That's not true". I continue to say that you are, basically claiming to know you better than you know yourself. By doing so, I would be disrespectful, narrow minded and rude. Would you be okay with that? Or would you feel just a little bit offended?

Nope, sorry. Your apologist tactics have already been debunked. Pretty women only have the advantage? No, all do. Even 300lbs. girls who hang on dating sites and get 50 responses a day.

The female gender is responsible for all the millions of guys out there who are dateless.

 

[Limlim]

... pip-pip?