Need advice on overcoming fear of being the center of attention

[Confusedbro]

So here's the story.

My teacher gave me a question and i must stand up to answer it. So i suddenly in fear of my friends laughing at me, my answer is wrong and such. My mind goes blank and i don't know what to do. My hands shakes so hard, my voice sounds different, and my eyes are covered by tears, but not until i cry. My friends know that my eyes covered in tears and i'm so embarrased even though i'm a boy but i finally can answered it because of some good friends i'm really glad that not all human are an assh*le
So can anyone give advice to me to not shake my hands and overcome the fear of getting in the center of attention? I'm seriously need help. I don't want to be like that anymore it hurts... TIA

 

[Tiina63]

I'm not sure how you can overcome it, but you are the rule rather than the exception in feeling this way during your teens. (I still feel like this now, but most people do overcome it.) It sounds as though you have some nice friends who are looking out for you though, which is a plus. For most people it is a question of time, waiting to get a bit older and less self conscious.

 

[Case]

So can anyone give advice to me to not shake my hands and overcome the fear of getting in the center of attention? I'm seriously need help. I don't want to be like that anymore it hurts... TIA

First of all, this is normal. Everyone, at one point or another, hates public speaking. So, you can relax yourself about that. Second, understand that it's all in your head. It's a fear that can be overcome. Third, this will take some practice. This feeling you have will not go away immediately. You need to re-train your brain to relax under these circumstances.

I remember when I was a kid, the teacher would go around the room and ask each kid a question. It was like the fuse on a stick of dynamite for me. It was torturous as the questions got closer and closer to me, until the teacher finally came to me, and I was now a bubbling mass of nerves.

The thing is, relaxation is the key. You need to relax your mind and treat it like the easiest thing to do. Once you can attain this state of relaxation, you will get to the point where you might be itchy to be asked a question instead of fearing it.

I found the following wiki-how segment on how to overcome stage-fright, which is essentially what you are experiencing. You just have to modify this because it focuses on people speaking or performing in front of an audience. But I do think that the exercises can help you.

http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Stage-Fright

 

[Confusedbro]

Thanks for the advice guys! I'll try it

 

[Mistborn10]

I always been like that and it is not fun. I avoided it as much as possible. In the later and more advanced stages of college I had no choice to do it or I wasn't going to graduate. Exposure is terrifying but I did see an improvement as I had to do it more often. The one thing which is good and you seem to have seen that people are very sympathetic towards it. I have always gotten support from people even strangers.

 

[Pike Creek]

I was like that in high school too, very nervous to speak in public. I hated it, but you have to do it. I just made sure not to make eye contact with anyone, that helped. I kept my hands folded together either in front of me or behind my back, that way it wasn't so obvious.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Oh god I hated having to get up in front of the class...you're giving me terrible high school flashbacks, lol. I have never been able to get over that, not to this day so all the advice I will give you is, Good Luck

 

[tog1990]

Talking infront of a video camera helps? You don't have to show it to anyone, but yourself.

 

[Badjedidude]

It's OK to feel embarrassed or anxious.

I can't tell you how to get rid of it, but... I will tell you that countless entertainers, singers, speakers, etc... have mentioned in interviews that when they were younger, they were extremely anxious and nervous about being onstage or public speaking.

You're not alone in feeling this way. I think most people would agree that standing up, being noticed, and public speaking are all pretty nerve-wracking.

 

[stork_error]

Ask yourself the whats the worst that can happen and then ask yourself so what?

The worst that can happen is that you cant answer, and people laugh at you because they see you're shaking and about to cry.

And…

Do you care now about things that happened in kindergarten? No, and in 2-3 years you wont care about the things happening now. So knowing that time fades everything. Let them laugh, who cares, let them laugh their ***** off, who cares, let them see you shake, who cares.

They are not going to laugh you out of a job, or out of a car purchase, or laugh your friends away, or laugh your health away, or laugh you dead, or laugh your family to abandon you.

Focus on the things that matter, not the things that don't. A bunch of kids laughing is nothing more than kids laughing. Let them.

And further more, who the hell are they? Are they super important people that matter? People that can and will help you succeed in life? Nope, they are just dopes, and in 10 years, they wont even remember your name.

So what if they laugh? You dont die, they dont kill you, you dont get expelled, your parents dont punish you, you dont loose your sanity.

They just laugh… thats all… a laugh, let them laugh, laugh away. Next time you get up there, remember that they are so not important and the very experience, will soon be forgotten and one day, other important life stuff, that matters… is going to be way more important.

They laugh… so what, They laugh.
Who are they? Nobody important.

Best of luck

 

[gabriel20]

I had to do jury service last year,was dreading it for weeks before. I'm 54 and that was the first time I have ever had to stand up and speak in public. I don't like crowds and am nervous with strangers and absolutely hated the thought of doing it. But got through it by focusing on one spot right in front of me on the opposite wall and blanked out everyone and everything else. I survived , but hated it.

 

[Mr Seal The Albatros]

No shame in being nervous. I remember when I was in grade school and I literally dove underneath the teacher's desk!

What I tried doing was giving it a shot. Something small, like answering a question. Having people at your back, so they can cover for you if you need them helps. Got it right? Well congrats! No? Well, you tried at least and you can try again later. You (hopefully) got a bit of confidence in that you at least gave it a shot. Now give it a few other tries in the same way, and remember to use the confidence you have. Small steps.

Also, I think Stork's right on the money. What if they laugh at you? You still have your friends with you and I doubt they will leave you for missing one question. You can still try again.

Good luck!

 

[MargStone]

same here, I also hate being the center of attention.