Questions for the Women

[Bluey]

We should skype sometime. You will hear shy and giggly.

I have a real problem with Skype
Like I just sit on camera and really have nothing to say.
Am a bit like that on the phone too.
If I do call anyone its like:
"ye in ye?"
They say "ye"
and am like "ok see ye inabit"
End call lol

So with me not talking and you giggling that would be one wired Skype.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I don't do cam. And neither will you :club:

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

And other members from here can tell you that I am perfectly fine talking to myself

 

[ardour]

I can't speak for what would work with everyone, but I suppose it would just involve being friendly, relaxed and communicative with the majority of people. Personally, like Serephina, I have social anxiety which makes it a little more difficult for me to not come across as cold, especially in person. Online or off, it never gets easier for me to initiate conversations with people whether I know them or not, so I usually don't try. Men in particular. It is sort of a safety mechanism, I guess, like you mentioned.

The question wasn't all that clear. Regarding "safety mechanism" - that could be fear of unwanted attention (literally a fear for your safety), or a fear of rejection.

 

[Paraiyar]

I can't speak for what would work with everyone, but I suppose it would just involve being friendly, relaxed and communicative with the majority of people. Personally, like Serephina, I have social anxiety which makes it a little more difficult for me to not come across as cold, especially in person. Online or off, it never gets easier for me to initiate conversations with people whether I know them or not, so I usually don't try. Men in particular. It is sort of a safety mechanism, I guess, like you mentioned.

The question wasn't all that clear. Regarding "safety mechanism" - that could be fear of unwanted attention (literally a fear for your safety), or a fear of rejection.

Yeah, I meant it more in relation to the fact that women probably feel like they have to be more wary in general for safety. But shyness could come into as well. I'm basically trying to determine that when women act cold to me, if it's something to do with me or just how they often react to guys in general.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm basically trying to determine that when women act cold to me, if it's something to do with me or just how they often react to guys in general.

That's something you'd have to ask the actual people. But, if they're being cold towards you for whatever reason, it could be awkward or hard to do.

 

[Aisha]

The question wasn't all that clear. Regarding "safety mechanism" - that could be fear of unwanted attention (literally a fear for your safety), or a fear of rejection.

Yeah, I meant it more in relation to the fact that women probably feel like they have to be more wary in general for safety. But shyness could come into as well. I'm basically trying to determine that when women act cold to me, if it's something to do with me or just how they often react to guys in general.

I did understand that aspect of the question, and I'm sorry I didn't address it, I just didn't want to initiate some sort of men vs. women issue to which so many such topics seem to get reduced. I don't think I completely skirted it; shyness and anxiety do often have a basis of fear and panic, irrational though it may be.
Yes, I do think occasionally women feel they have to be more wary but that is a learnt lesson, whether because they are told by others to be conscious of their safety or from personal experience. I know a significant number of women, myself included, who have been harassed or worse and it can make a difference, slight or otherwise, on your level of caution with strangers.
It could also be, as you say ardour, a fear of rejection, since that's quite a universal feeling when approaching someone new. And at the other end, when being approached by someone new outside of certain settings, sometimes one does question motives and intent. But that's probably just my own paranoia. There will definitely be other reasons but whatever they maybe, I doubt most women would act that way some of the time, let alone all the time. As I said earlier, friendly, open and communicative seems to work with most people.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

Why do women think I'm not worth dating just because I'm tall and skinny? :/

 

[Paraiyar]

Why do women think I'm not worth dating just because I'm tall and skinny? :/

I'm not a women but most girls seem to like height in men...

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Have women actually said they wouldn't date you for that reason? If so, then I shall get to :club: them

 

[Xpendable]

People have preferences. That's all.

 

[Serephina]

Why do women think I'm not worth dating just because I'm tall and skinny? :/

I think it's personal preference,some people do go for a particular type,it's quite shallow though.
I've never really thought about it because i'm 5ft1 so most men are taller than me.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

Have women actually said they wouldn't date you for that reason? If so, then I shall get to :club: them

One or two of them said I was pretty skinny right out of the gate.

 

[Bluey]

Better to be tall and skinny then Short and skinny.

I've never really thought about it because i'm 5ft1 so most men are taller than me.

Yep, even me. I am only 5.4 but taller then you

 

[Aisha]

Have women actually said they wouldn't date you for that reason?

One or two of them said I was pretty skinny right out of the gate.

But have they said they wouldn't date you because of that? We're all some shape or other. A lot of people do feel they have the right to comment on the appearance of other people, and usually it's an observation and they don't mean any harm. Occasionally it can hit right on the nerve though, exactly where people are most insecure and hurt because of that.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

Have women actually said they wouldn't date you for that reason?

One or two of them said I was pretty skinny right out of the gate.

But have they said they wouldn't date you because of that? We're all some shape or other. A lot of people do feel they have the right to comment on the appearance of other people, and usually it's an observation and they don't mean any harm. Occasionally it can hit right on the nerve though, exactly where people are most insecure and hurt because of that.

One of them did.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Have women actually said they wouldn't date you for that reason?

One or two of them said I was pretty skinny right out of the gate.

But have they said they wouldn't date you because of that? We're all some shape or other. A lot of people do feel they have the right to comment on the appearance of other people, and usually it's an observation and they don't mean any harm. Occasionally it can hit right on the nerve though, exactly where people are most insecure and hurt because of that.

One of them did.

That's her choice. Don't take it personal. You just happen to be what she doesn't prefer is all. We all have the right to have some preferences. I personally don't mind tall and skinny. So obviously there are many who don't mind, or would actually prefer tall and skinny. Concentrating on why someone doesn't like something is pointless. You can't change their mind, nor pick for them. If she was mean about it, then you probably wouldn't want to deal with the attitude anyway.

 

[Paraiyar]

If a guy you didn't know smiled at you in the street would you be creeped out?

 

[EveWasFramed]

If a guy you didn't know smiled at you in the street would you be creeped out?

Nope. I'd smile back and be happy about it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Why do women think I'm not worth dating just because I'm tall and skinny? :/

It's just a preference. Everyone has them. Try not to take it personally.