Questions for the Women
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A
AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Wouldn't it just be better to accept that the person doesn't want you, and that if someone doesn't want you, it's probably better to not waste your time? Would you want to be chased by someone you clearly didn't want to be with?
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Xpendable said:
Not really. There is no balme in most situations like that. Yeah, people can be rude about it, but it's their right to decide whether they want to know someone or not. Regardless of the reason, even if it's petty, shallow reasons, they are not required to want to know you and the rejected is not entitled for everyone to get to know them.
But alas, you seem to be contradicting yourself again.
kamya
Well-known member
Yeah! What they all said.
ardour
Well known loser
Xpendable's comment seemed like it was primarily about whether it's right to always blame the rejected, or whether that's an excuse to take a shot at an easy target.
You can still judge someone as petty without implying they owe you.
You can still judge someone as petty without implying they owe you.
P
Paraiyar
Guest
It shouldn't be a matter of blaming anyone. Though in some situations people may need to think if certain social mannerisms are impeding them from getting what they want and if so, whether that isn't worth changing.
Okay, so I went out to a restaurant tonight with two of my male friends. We stepped through the front door and on the table to our left were three young women (I'd say early 20s.) I didn't notice them at first, but for some reason all three of them were staring at us. The first time I clapped eyes on them they had their eyes fixed on us, especially me. I tried smiling, but none of them reciprocated and eventually they turned around and started talking amongst themselves.
I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now, so I wasn't too interested either way. But they were attractive women. My best friend and I were sitting in a position where we were pretty much facing them. One of the girls was facing us and the other two had their backs to us. My other friend had his back to them, but he wasn't too interested anyway. Our tables were maybe 15 to 20 feet away from eachother.
My friend sitting next to me was going crazy because he really liked one in particular and wouldn't stop talking about her and thinking up ways to chat to her. As we sat there, was served food and ate, one of the girls who had her back to us was constantly turning around and looking directly at me. She was doing this so often and obviously that even my friend sitting next to me noticed and was encouraging me to talk to her so he could talk to the other one. But I'm too shy for all that anyway. I did try smiling once or twice, but she just looked away with a straight face. My friend then had the bright idea of buying them beers (they were drinking beers) and putting it on our bill. So he asked the waiter to ask the girls if they wanted 3 more beers... which they declined without even looking over. After that happened, the girl who was turning around and looking at me every now and again started doing it even more. She was the only one looking over at this point, the other two girls clearly weren't acknowledging us at this point.
Then our bills came. Theirs first and then we asked for our bills. My friend, sitting next to me, got a bit desperate at this point and told me to write my number down on the back of an old receipt and he was going to give it to a waitress to give to the girl who was constantly looking at me. That way, if she calls me, I can maybe get with her and tell her that my best friend likes her friend.
So, I did it, even though I wasn't that interested. She was attractive, but not really my type and I'm not in the right place for another relationship.
I wrote my number down, my friend passed it to the waitress, pointed the right woman out and she handed it to her.
The woman reacted in quite a funny way to me. You could clearly tell she was acting and was very shy. She wouldn't look over and she acted a bit like it was a slight annoyance to her. First she showed it to her friend (the one my friend liked) and then folded it and kept it in her hand as they left their table and walked directly past us to the door. She didn't look our way for a second.
This was all about 2 hours ago. It happened just before 11pm and it's now 1:15am. She hasn't called or text.
Why... would she be constantly looking like that if they didn't like me?
(Sorry for the long story bro, but somebody please interpret this for me? I don't get it. I'm not that bothered, it's just weird. I think I've included all the main details)
I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now, so I wasn't too interested either way. But they were attractive women. My best friend and I were sitting in a position where we were pretty much facing them. One of the girls was facing us and the other two had their backs to us. My other friend had his back to them, but he wasn't too interested anyway. Our tables were maybe 15 to 20 feet away from eachother.
My friend sitting next to me was going crazy because he really liked one in particular and wouldn't stop talking about her and thinking up ways to chat to her. As we sat there, was served food and ate, one of the girls who had her back to us was constantly turning around and looking directly at me. She was doing this so often and obviously that even my friend sitting next to me noticed and was encouraging me to talk to her so he could talk to the other one. But I'm too shy for all that anyway. I did try smiling once or twice, but she just looked away with a straight face. My friend then had the bright idea of buying them beers (they were drinking beers) and putting it on our bill. So he asked the waiter to ask the girls if they wanted 3 more beers... which they declined without even looking over. After that happened, the girl who was turning around and looking at me every now and again started doing it even more. She was the only one looking over at this point, the other two girls clearly weren't acknowledging us at this point.
Then our bills came. Theirs first and then we asked for our bills. My friend, sitting next to me, got a bit desperate at this point and told me to write my number down on the back of an old receipt and he was going to give it to a waitress to give to the girl who was constantly looking at me. That way, if she calls me, I can maybe get with her and tell her that my best friend likes her friend.
So, I did it, even though I wasn't that interested. She was attractive, but not really my type and I'm not in the right place for another relationship.
I wrote my number down, my friend passed it to the waitress, pointed the right woman out and she handed it to her.
The woman reacted in quite a funny way to me. You could clearly tell she was acting and was very shy. She wouldn't look over and she acted a bit like it was a slight annoyance to her. First she showed it to her friend (the one my friend liked) and then folded it and kept it in her hand as they left their table and walked directly past us to the door. She didn't look our way for a second.
This was all about 2 hours ago. It happened just before 11pm and it's now 1:15am. She hasn't called or text.
Why... would she be constantly looking like that if they didn't like me?
(Sorry for the long story bro, but somebody please interpret this for me? I don't get it. I'm not that bothered, it's just weird. I think I've included all the main details)
Zook,this is really ambiguous,there will be people with different opinions but i'm going to try and break this down and give my interpretation.
You said this happened 2 hours ago. There are a number of reasons why she probably hasn't called,just some of them
(1) they might have gone somewhere else after the meal and she was with her friends so just didn't get time to call you.
(2) she doesn't want to come across as being too keen,I mean it had only been two hours,also it was quite late. If this is the case she might give it a couple of days before calling.
(3) she just wasn't interested,she didn't smile back at you when you did smile at her,and from how you described her body language hadn't given you any signals that she was,even if she was shy. There a number of reasons why she might have been looking at you,from the sounds of it your friend did keep talking about them and they might have been getting pretty annoyed. If they were getting annoyed could've also explained why they might have declined the beers. Either that or they hadn't for whatever reason realised that you were going to buy them and just thought there had been a mix up with the order.
(4) she might have just taken it as bravado,guys having a bit of a laugh and didn't take it seriously,which could also explain the slight annoyance that you described. If you look at it from another angle,these three women have come out for a meal (this might have been the first time they had managed to get together for a while),and all the way through their meal,these guys are constantly chatting about them,and trying to get their attention.
You said this happened 2 hours ago. There are a number of reasons why she probably hasn't called,just some of them
(1) they might have gone somewhere else after the meal and she was with her friends so just didn't get time to call you.
(2) she doesn't want to come across as being too keen,I mean it had only been two hours,also it was quite late. If this is the case she might give it a couple of days before calling.
(3) she just wasn't interested,she didn't smile back at you when you did smile at her,and from how you described her body language hadn't given you any signals that she was,even if she was shy. There a number of reasons why she might have been looking at you,from the sounds of it your friend did keep talking about them and they might have been getting pretty annoyed. If they were getting annoyed could've also explained why they might have declined the beers. Either that or they hadn't for whatever reason realised that you were going to buy them and just thought there had been a mix up with the order.
(4) she might have just taken it as bravado,guys having a bit of a laugh and didn't take it seriously,which could also explain the slight annoyance that you described. If you look at it from another angle,these three women have come out for a meal (this might have been the first time they had managed to get together for a while),and all the way through their meal,these guys are constantly chatting about them,and trying to get their attention.
I don't own a house, or a car. Don't have a fulltime job and luckily will have a career in 4 years. I Barely own money and will be in debt for the next 20 years.
Would you take me for who I am as a person?
Would you take me for who I am as a person?
A
AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Xpendable said:
I could and have lived with that type of arrangement. It's the attitude that throws me off
A
AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Xpendable said:AmytheTemperamental said:Xpendable said:
I could and have lived with that type of arrangement. It's the attitude that throws me off
You don't really know me.
I know that I wouldn't define you on your financial status. That was the question right?
AmytheTemperamental said:
I feel it could mean nothing when you're young and don't have concerns in life. But at my age I'm sure women hardly will take that risk. When you're pushing 30, you're working and stablishing you're life. Can sustain yourself and are independent financialy. All I have to offer is my companionship, my care and love. I feel I could go 1000 extra miles to achieve a good relationship and not take anything for granted. I couldn't have expensive or even regular dates, make trips or give any type of gift. I couldn't even afford to live with that person in the same place with what I made; not without being a freeloader. I'm a very caring person and I won't do anything to hurt someone. If there's someone who's willing to live under a bridge with me, I would like to know where tpo find them.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
Sure. But like Amy said, it's your attitude. No, we may not know you in full, but what you've shown here... It would definitely make me look the other way, regardless of anything else. I'm with someone who owns his own car and it's not done a bit of good. So that doesn't mean a thing to a lot of us. If it depended on his car, I'd like him a whole lot more than I do now.
What I've shown here is barely a miniscule partof myself. Because the way I see it, you both have been less than appealing in any aspects. Unable to show empathy and too self-rightious to ever admit another point of view beside your own. You're unreflexive, judgemental and stubborn to the end. You say "my attitude" but we all know is because I have the nerve to disagree and challenge the constant group thinking shown here. Would you consider fair if I judged you only by what I see on this forum?
My initial question should be asked in another way. Sorry to make it about myself, it should have been made in regards to a hypotetical man.
So is nice you would look the other way because your attitude is terrible foe me. I know this for a few post in an anonymous forum.
My initial question should be asked in another way. Sorry to make it about myself, it should have been made in regards to a hypotetical man.
So is nice you would look the other way because your attitude is terrible foe me. I know this for a few post in an anonymous forum.
Xpendable said:
Whoa, no. They made no personal attacks against you. That is inappropriate, you've been here long enough to know better. You are also wrong on that, I've seen both show great empathy towards others and show non judgement. People have their own beliefs and in some aspects hold true to them, that does not make them self righteous and judgemental. Enjoy you vacation.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
Yes, because everything I say on the forum is what I'd say in person. I'm no different in my opinions whether you're reading something I've typed or actually hearing something I'm saying. You'd be able to hear that my tone of voice isn't as harsh as it comes across when I've typed something, is about the only difference between the two.
Xpendable said:
And I'll answer this, an opinion from one woman on that for a hypothetical man:
Yes, I'd take him for what he was. Because that's what I have done. And again, someone having a nasty attitude is what's off-putting. Not what they have or don't have. There are women who care about material things and what a guy can give her monetary-wise. But there are a lot of us who don't care.
Of course, there are people who don't believe in that, no matter what they're told. So I guess it's for naught when someone just doesn't want to hear it.
