Questions for the Women

[CenotaphGirl]

Very few of the things you listed can't be changed. It's like with anyone, male or female, they have to have a reason to want to change those things. No one is going to change anything unless they finally realize they need to, unless they want to. In addition to that, some of the things you listed, even if they are "doing" the things, it doesn't mean they necessarily want to actually change, they may just be going through the motions because they think they should. Like seeking help for mental illness. You can see a therapist all you want, but if you aren't open for it to actually work, it won't do a damn thing to help.
Personally, very few of the things you listed would make me disregard a guy and say they are not dating material.

And this is proof that women do not all want the same thing from a perspective partner, despite many thinking we do

 

[ringwood]

Very few of the things you listed can't be changed. It's like with anyone, male or female, they have to have a reason to want to change those things. No one is going to change anything unless they finally realize they need to, unless they want to. In addition to that, some of the things you listed, even if they are "doing" the things, it doesn't mean they necessarily want to actually change, they may just be going through the motions because they think they should. Like seeking help for mental illness. You can see a therapist all you want, but if you aren't open for it to actually work, it won't do a damn thing to help.
Personally, very few of the things you listed would make me disregard a guy and say they are not dating material.

I'm totally with Callie on this one and was just in the process of sitting down to write similar sentiments when I saw her post.

@CenotaphGirl - There's nothing on your list that would make me stop in my tracks and run screaming for the hills. Maybe that's an age thing? Maybe dating has changed drastically since I was in my 20's/early 30's. Maybe you run in a different crowd than I did growing up and so expect different things from men? Beats the **** outta me, but yeah - definitely nothing on this list would be a deal-breaker. In fact, the crying thing - I LOVE a man who can cry. It tells me he's in touch with his feelings, is deep and emotional and that's a big turn-on in my books.

 

[Sunless Sky]

And this is proof that women do not all want the same thing from a perspective partner, despite many thinking we do

The most important thing is the connection two people share. The chemistry that goes on between them in every conversation. Everything else gets colored by that. Looks, behaviour, living situation. All might be overlooked, notice I said might, for them.

 

[Finished]

What do you do when you made sure you aren't doing anything on the above list and even have some pretty awesome qualities to boot, yet you never seem to be anybody's type? When asked why through others they just say, I don't know, there's just something I don't like about him. Is it this? no. Is it that? no. What is it then? They don't know. It's like some kind of stank only single dating women can smell. It's a different smell for each woman. But, it's still stank. This is a common experience many unfortunate guys have. They never find out what that something is and have to pick something out and blame that. It's usually something they cannot change such as physical attributes. They may be right or they may be wrong. But, it seems many women pick up on it. Ska knows what I'm talking about. He seems like a great guy. But, there's just something about him. What is it? It would be great if you all could help him figure it out.

 

[ardour]

What do you do when you made sure you aren't doing anything on the above list and even have some pretty awesome qualities to boot, yet you never seem to be anybody's type?

Realize that you're broken and that it's your place to die alone in a flat somewhere, after which your body will decompose for months before its found. This is the way nature intended it, men are the natural protectors, broken males are useless for this and need to shut up and work away quietly in the background.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

What do you do when you made sure you aren't doing anything on the above list and even have some pretty awesome qualities to boot, yet you never seem to be anybody's type? When asked why through others they just say, I don't know, there's just something I don't like about him. Is it this? no. Is it that? no. What is it then? They don't know. It's like some kind of stank only single dating women can smell. It's a different smell for each woman. But, it's still stank. This is a common experience many unfortunate guys have. They never find out what that something is and have to pick something out and blame that. It's usually something they cannot change such as physical attributes. They may be right or they may be wrong. But, it seems many women pick up on it. Ska knows what I'm talking about. He seems like a great guy. But, there's just something about him. What is it? It would be great if you all could help him figure it out.

Honestly, I dont know, if im honest... I was scared to show my list just in case I really hurt someones feelings, so maybe thats the issue, no women will say because if you say... you are some type of "bitch"? You risk hurting someones feelings, the list was gonna be wayyy longer I said oh no Cen, dont be mean, dont be a troll. I have never censored myself before, ever, until joining here, but I have met some lovely people and truth is hurting anyone with my opinion on this forum is not a goal of mine.

I mean I honestly, deleted, went back, added context, deleted again, and you can tell there's a slight resistance to sharing opinions as I can see people are saying, "oh no.. your list.. not everything", well then what? What on there do you agree with and what is so unreasonable? You want a man that lives with his parents, cant drive, is obese, cant stop crying and has no income? Like truly? If yes, then thats amazing, but be honest.

This is something the incel community has bashed women for, saying they want one thing but truly want another. Also, women kinda bash other women for have standards and sticking to them. (Not implying that anyone was doing that here just something I picked up from Youtube University and life). The only woman who wants me to have higher standards than I do, is my mum lol

I read the list to my brother, and he was like "omg I tick like 8 boxes on that bloody list" lol But he said he'd never have a issue with a woman for any of the following, so I said oh? what about a woman is a no then, and he said if she's too clingy and couldn't think of anything else... this showed a difference, I thought wow, that it?!?! No wonder guys are saying its so much easier for women in the dating world.

 

[user 148069]

What do you do when you made sure you aren't doing anything on the above list and even have some pretty awesome qualities to boot, yet you never seem to be anybody's type? When asked why through others they just say, I don't know, there's just something I don't like about him. Is it this? no. Is it that? no. What is it then? They don't know. It's like some kind of stank only single dating women can smell. It's a different smell for each woman. But, it's still stank.

Difficult to tell unless I meet said guy in person. It's a gut feeling. I know having an intuition gets made fun of but it is what it is.

edit: wish i could give more input on this but being an observer of this forum for many years, i'm not going to waste my time and energy sharing anything dating or relationship related. No one cares what I have to say anyway and some people and I repeat some, have a dead set idea on how the game is forever rigged against them. It's as if they are so unique in their struggles that no one else out there is struggling. It's all ME,ME,ME,ME!

It's not that I don't empathize with their struggles. I do. It's just some folks have been here for years and still have the same myopic, narrow ideas about women and dating. Hate me if you wish but it's something I need to say after so many damn years here. I'm done!

 

[ardour]

Difficult to tell unless I meet said guy in person. It's a gut feeling. I know having an intuition gets made fun of but it is what it is.

edit: wish i could give more input on this but being an observer of this forum for many years, i'm not going to waste my time and energy sharing anything dating or relationship related. No one cares what I have to say anyway and some people and I repeat some, have a dead set idea on how the game is forever rigged against them. It's as if they are so unique in their struggles that no one else out there is struggling. It's all ME,ME,ME,ME!

It's not that I don't empathize with their struggles. I do. It's just some folks have been here for years and still have the same myopic, narrow ideas about women and dating. Hate me if you wish but it's something I need to say after so many damn years here. I'm done!

You confirm those ideas and prove his point by emphasizing intuition though. What is a man supposed to do if there just seems to be something off about him in some vague ill-defined way?

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

Difficult to tell unless I meet said guy in person. It's a gut feeling. I know having an intuition gets made fun of but it is what it is.

edit: wish i could give more input on this but being an observer of this forum for many years, i'm not going to waste my time and energy sharing anything dating or relationship related. No one cares what I have to say anyway and some people and I repeat some, have a dead set idea on how the game is forever rigged against them. It's as if they are so unique in their struggles that no one else out there is struggling. It's all ME,ME,ME,ME!

It's not that I don't empathize with their struggles. I do. It's just some folks have been here for years and still have the same myopic, narrow ideas about women and dating. Hate me if you wish but it's something I need to say after so many damn years here. I'm done!

(I care what you say, hope you're not gone.)

Oh, the broken record of the entitled that can't stop their own ego party long enough to face the mirror to see what causes their own pathetic misery.
Reminds me of that early line in The Social Network. F- Zuck too, while we're in context.

“You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an *******.”


Entitled, temper-tantrum tossing, poor little egos.

Plenty of men here that aren't like that at all.
Ignore the ones that blame, whine, bitch, and think women and the world owe them a good time because they're too weak and self-pitying to do the work of soul searching, humility, maybe doing something for someone else to make them more appealing in the heart and soul. They can't even figure out why they're lonely and depressed. Puppets.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Difficult to tell unless I meet said guy in person. It's a gut feeling. I know having an intuition gets made fun of but it is what it is.

edit: wish i could give more input on this but being an observer of this forum for many years, i'm not going to waste my time and energy sharing anything dating or relationship related. No one cares what I have to say anyway and some people and I repeat some, have a dead set idea on how the game is forever rigged against them. It's as if they are so unique in their struggles that no one else out there is struggling. It's all ME,ME,ME,ME!

It's not that I don't empathize with their struggles. I do. It's just some folks have been here for years and still have the same myopic, narrow ideas about women and dating. Hate me if you wish but it's something I need to say after so many damn years here. I'm done!

I care what you say. I read all of it and agree with most of it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

But yeah, going off what orange cat said, maybe you have a "don't approach me" vibe going on....yes yes, I used that word again, get over it.... Could be a million things. Maybe you should just ask someone. If that's not an option you are willing to do, dig deep and look at yourself from another perspective and try to figure out what it is that might be the cause.

 

[Finished]

......It's all ME,ME,ME,ME!.......

Don't you mean it's all Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow?

 

[Finished]

But yeah, going off what orange cat said, maybe you have a "don't approach me" vibe going on....yes yes, I used that word again, get over it.... Could be a million things. Maybe you should just ask someone. If that's not an option you are willing to do, dig deep and look at yourself from another perspective and try to figure out what it is that might be the cause.

I've asked a lot of people and asked others to ask other people for me to get a more honest response. However, maybe it's the clothes that I wear:

 

[michael2]

So my opinion about self improvement is this... now dont kill me as it's just an opinion. If a man is not falling into any of the categories below, then sure, he should ignore all advice to self improve for dating as he's probably got something unfixable wrong with him... But these are the areas that make a man particularly undesirable in mine and most of the girls I know (age range is 19-31) opinions...

1. Still living at home with parents / can't drive
2. Obesity / Overweight / hates exercise / won't eat healthy portioned meals
3. Personal hygiene could use a more consistent routine
4. Not seeking help for mental health issues
5. Porn addictions (usually can tell as they get very graphic what you are trying to have a little flirt)
6. Poor income (expects me to provide for him)
7. Dating gurus!!! crappy advice.... (this ones mine lol)
8. Wants someone to date them out of pity...
9. Denies any genuine interest as "too good to be true"
10. Creepy... Thinks the same approach works for every guy, it wont.
11. Can't speak to girls he finds attractive
12. Thinks every girl "gives it up" on the first date
13. Jealous and over protective (a little jealousy can be attractive but not too much)
14. Wants to re live high school teen days at 30+ (there is no time machine... I want a "man" if I go with older).
15. Cries a lot... (now this is toxic, but I'm being honest, I don't want a man that cries more than I do)

Now this is just my and all my friends opinions, I could say things a little more controversial but I will skip them out as I don't wanna seem like I'm trolling or to hurt anyones feelings. The list is what can be changed, I didn't put anything that cannot be changed (I don't think)...

What men want from a woman:

a good friend.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

What men want from a woman:

a good friend.

How romantic!

 

[Finished]

What men want from a woman:

a good friend.

Exactly. But, WITH benefits.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Exactly. But, WITH benefits.

Pretty much!

 

[MrLonely86]

I have question , if you want to give a girl a compliment which is not related to her look , what would you say or in which way? Basically which phrase and words to say in order to convince girl you see her beauty inside also. Tnx.

 

[Abstamyous]

I have question , if you want to give a girl a compliment which is not related to her look , what would you say or in which way? Basically which phrase and words to say in order to convince girl you see her beauty inside also. Tnx.

Say it how you mean it.

 

[Finished]

I have question , if you want to give a girl a compliment which is not related to her look , what would you say or in which way? Basically which phrase and words to say in order to convince girl you see her beauty inside also. Tnx.

OMG! That's dangerous territory! If you compliment something other then their looks they'll think you are saying that they are not pretty. If you compliment how they look then they'll think you are saying they are stupid. It's a no win situation. Ha! ha!

Sure, most will say thank you or smile. But, inside they start to plot against you for being so extremely cruel towards them. Soon you'll find your car's tires are flat, you have gum on the bottom of your shoes, or your coffee just sort of disappeared or tastes odd. It's best to compliment something other then them. For instances, you can compliment their shoes, their purse, their car, house, etc, etc, etc. However, clothes and hair can be a touchy subject.

Just hand them other your money, take the blame for everything, and appoligize ALOT. Then you'll be okay.