NO!!!!! It's a trap just waiting for you to take the bate! Ha! HA!
Questions for the Women
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MrLonely86
Well-known member
The thing is , I was watching movie and guy and girl sit in bathtub , and she asks him which is the first word he can think of when he sees her, and he tells straight away: " Beautiful. ". And she is like: " See , no , no one ever tells me I'm smart. Or funny or interesting. ".
Abstamyous
Well-known member
But she asked for the first thing when he sees her. I would take it the same way if I was asked this question.
I was thinking of a compliment I received that really meant a lot to me. It was simple "You don't panic and I love it!" It was an acknowledgement of what I consider to be one of my strengths. Those compliments are always nice to hear.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Okay ladies, humour little ole CenotaphGirl....
You have cooked a meal for a guy you like, he is enjoying it..... However, he keeps asking "did you really make this?" and "is this from the shop" and "oh did you make the gravy yourself"... At first it felt like a compliment but it's starting to feel a little patronising? What would you do in this situation? Would you try to kindly swiftly change topics? Would it bother you? Would you drown it out with another glass of vin blanc?
You have cooked a meal for a guy you like, he is enjoying it..... However, he keeps asking "did you really make this?" and "is this from the shop" and "oh did you make the gravy yourself"... At first it felt like a compliment but it's starting to feel a little patronising? What would you do in this situation? Would you try to kindly swiftly change topics? Would it bother you? Would you drown it out with another glass of vin blanc?
SecondStarTotheRight
Semi-Eccentric Recluse
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I think he'd have about ten seconds to leave my house. 
If I'm cooking for him, I invited him. I must have known him well enough for that, and if he surprised me by asking if my homemade cioppino was from the shop, he'd better be kidding. Come to think of it, he'd better be wittier than that if he's going to joke about the food.
If I'm cooking for him, I invited him. I must have known him well enough for that, and if he surprised me by asking if my homemade cioppino was from the shop, he'd better be kidding. Come to think of it, he'd better be wittier than that if he's going to joke about the food.user 148069
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You never ever give away the recipe for the secret sauce ever! Say "If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you." 
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Man here...but, I just wanted to say that if a woman were to make a meal for me, I would appreciate it anyway, regardless of if she made it herself or if it came from the shop.
Making it herself would feel a little more flattering of course, but even if it came from the shop, I'm sure it would still be delicious and still be a nice gesture. The most important thing to me, food-wise, is to be full. Then flavor. And if you can do that while making it healthy, that's even better.
Also, I'd appreciate not having to make a meal, and having a little bit of extra time freed up to put towards anything else.
PS - I just looked up "cioppino" and I have to say, that looks dee-lish.
Making it herself would feel a little more flattering of course, but even if it came from the shop, I'm sure it would still be delicious and still be a nice gesture. The most important thing to me, food-wise, is to be full. Then flavor. And if you can do that while making it healthy, that's even better.
Also, I'd appreciate not having to make a meal, and having a little bit of extra time freed up to put towards anything else.
PS - I just looked up "cioppino" and I have to say, that looks dee-lish.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
I would give him the step by step instructions on how to make it. He'd eventually get it lol
SecondStarTotheRight
Semi-Eccentric Recluse
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Oh, it is. Best served with fresh homemade Italian bread to dip in the sauce.
MrLonely86
Well-known member
I have another question - why is it soo hard to open up to love partner without feeling of shame guilt? Or to put it better - if I open up to a girl - why response always needs to be - " Go see psychologist " - and it is also considered turn off? Any girl here loves when guy opens up to her about their deepest emotions and feelings , even secrets? Tnx.
Abstamyous
Well-known member
I think a lot of us have spent a good majority of our lives believing our feelings and issues are wrong. If someone responds to you that way, it's because they don't understand that they can just listen rather than have all of the answers. People want things that seem wrong to be fixed. Personally, if I approach someone with who I am, it's because I just want them to hear my thoughts. I don't want them to fix my life for me.
One thing I've learned to say, is that I can't fix your issues, but I will listen. I can't imagine having a successful relationship (where I'm not completely blinded) without knowing someone on the deepest level. It may take time to get there, but it would be one of my ultimate goals with a potential partner.
I will also add that I would support the growth and healing of the individual, so there could be a situation where I would recommend professional help. But not in the manner of "I don't want to listen to this" or that I would be turned off by it.
Now, when thinking about what I like a man to be on a date, I have to think about a story of a couple, that was in the TV, because it seemed very unusual. She had kind of a normal life and he was homeless. He asked her out on a date as being in this situation and she said yes. He now isn't homeless anymore and has a job and they are very happy with each other. Everyone in the show was like, how unbelieveable, to date a homeless, but she said it was real love on first sight. Love is a mystery and you can't only measure it in a way, that is superficial. I mean, it's capitalistic thinking, that only someone with a job proofs he is worth it. I loved, how she said she had no doubts from the beginning. It was a lovely story and that makes me think about a preach at church, where my pastor said love just happens at places we don't expect it to be and maybe even don't want it to happen. It tells, that we humans are not as wise as we are, we still don't know why it happens and when. Maybe it's just this chance of love ppl need. Real Love is still mysterious and a miracle.
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CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Yikes I do not like a man that opens up about his emotions and feelings, as crappy as it sounds, I find it very... feminine... feminine is a turn off to me personally, I can't even hide it. I can't even pretend I don't mind it. It's like how some men would feel if I starting acting and dressing like a man... might put them completely off. I consider a man being emotional like him wearing my dresses and putting on my makeup... you look pretty but... it's not for me.
MrLonely86
Well-known member
My female best friend is very guy-ish for a girl, and I love it.
Both of us have like, characteristics of both genders in terms of behaviour.But it feels like, strange to talk to your best friend about feelings cause you have girlfriend in the same time. It is like , weird dynamics.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Honestly, I admire this, I wish I could be different, I just cant. The more I try the more it feels like a lie. Even recently this happened in my personal life, a man I have been crying over, suicidal over... showed me a shred of emotion and I honestly.. I dont know how to feel about it. I just feel so disappointed, in both of us.My female best friend is very guy-ish for a girl, and I love it.
MrLonely86
Well-known member
I cried twice in front of my EX GF. She didn't deserved my tears.
Also , I think you like , get behavior by being surrounded by other people. You get their behavior in yours. I guess since I was around girls my whole life, I did get tiny bit behavior from them.
I never liked being surrounded by alpha male loud class clown sport gym type of guys. Not my cup of tea.
Also , I think you like , get behavior by being surrounded by other people. You get their behavior in yours. I guess since I was around girls my whole life, I did get tiny bit behavior from them.
I never liked being surrounded by alpha male loud class clown sport gym type of guys. Not my cup of tea.
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TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Yeah, I think it could be that way. Also, I think there are natural ways we're predisposed to be, where if you try to act another way, it just feels "wrong". Maybe it can be changed if you try hard enough, but I don't know if it's worth it.
Me neither. That personality has always rubbed me the wrong way. People like that aren't friendly for the sake of it, and only want to talk to others who they deem "useful" to them, something I've always disliked, like, "who are you to judge my worth, just cause I'm different than you?" They always seemed to have a lot of nerve, acting like their way isn't just one way to be, but the way. I don't get the appeal, or the point of it. It seems like a never-ending game of trying to impress other people who don't really care about you in the first place and won't really care about you even if you do manage to impress them, because they'll just drop you once someone else impresses them more, or is more "useful" to them. And it always seemed dishonest because it's all about acting like you have no feelings, but almost everyone has feelings so I thought, why lie about it, when we all know that we all have feelings so we all know that this tough-guy act is phony. It seems so limiting too - like if you choose to be that kind of person, it feels like you have to be that kind of person ALL the time, you can never "break character".
I think that...maybe in the past, people needed to be tough to survive a tough world. But since then, in modern countries at least, we've tamed the world and made life better, so that we don't need to be as tough anymore. And that was the whole point of taming the world, to improve quality of life and give us more freedom to live how we see fit, instead of feeling like we're constantly at war with the world, and having that setting be dictated to us by life.
It always made me scratch my head thinking, who would choose to be the old way anymore, the way that seemed so miserable and unpleasant to me, when you could just let yourself not worry about it instead.
Lately I've actually been not that bothered by it anymore though as I think that I never should have let it get to me in the first place. I always knew that I never had to be everyone's buddy, that was OK. We're all different. I guess what had me confused so long was how the people themselves, and culture in general, says that that personality is "right", and how "right" or "wrong" you are depends how close you are to that personality. I probably wouldn't have been as bothered if it was presented to me as just another personality type, and not as "right" or "superior".
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ringwood
Well-known member
Funny how people are so different! As the old adage goes, "There's someone for everyone. . . " This would be a turn-on for me - everything you've described.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
I think its awful when people feel trapped and forced to like what they dont like, or be who they are not... I love variety, differences, different opinions. I appreciate the rainbow
sparkyn98
Nerd Mom Boss
Ouch!! As a mom of 3 boys ranging in age from 30 - 19, I am a HUGE advocate of male mental awareness.
Now, does this mean that they SHARE with their SO if they're not comfortable? That would be a different topic.
But, to hear you say that sharing feelings is a feminine thing truly hurts my heart. THIS is the stigmatism why men don't seek mental help. And trust me, some of them truly need it.
My current guy is going through a lot of stuff with his parents and I've shared a couple self help books relating to his issues with them. We discuss several of his issues and he's recently started seeing a therapist. He doesn't walk around with a tissue in his pocket or anything.
I can understand why it doesn't seem "manly" to a young lady like you, but to an old dog like me who is tired of seeing people drown their trauma in alcohol and bitterness.... I'd rather my man be a little more in touch with his feelings.
*Just my humble old lady opinion....
