Suggestions on how to be a lonely person by ALL

[Naleena]

This thread is to open our eyes to the process that leads to becoming a lonely person. It is sad and painful. I hope others continue to post, as it opens peoples eyes to the suffering also. Let's be mindful that we all hurt in some way and be good to each other. Encourage each other and forgive each other when we aren't at our best. This is the only place a lot of people have to just be themselfs. I thank each of you who have had the courage to post in this thread. You have brought light and understanding to the journey of the lonely. What a good book title,eh? Love you guys.

 

[ladyforsaken]

This thread is to open our eyes to the process that leads to becoming a lonely person. It is sad and painful. I hope others continue to post, as it opens peoples eyes to the suffering also. Let's be mindful that we all hurt in some way and be good to each other. Encourage each other and forgive each other when we aren't at our best. This is the only place a lot of people have to just be themselfs. I thank each of you who have had the courage to post in this thread. You have brought light and understanding to the journey of the lonely. What a good book title,eh? Love you guys.

+1
Nal, you are just so sweet.

 

[xaero]

How to become lonely? Simple: See the world for what it really is and refuse to conform to this realization.

 

[BlossomedInShadows]

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

No kidding. That's a horrible road to walk down. I know I've definitely done some of the above...

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Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

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The feeling a person does not belong in this world.

That is such a sad place....especially when its for reasons you can't help.
Its like the end of the loneliness road, you come to this.

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end up being the "strange one" on the block, say, the only white kid in a black neighborhood or vice versa

Is it being different or that makes us lonely or being told there is something wrong with being different? Or is it because being different makes one feel that they can't be understood?

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I just wrote something on another thread about being different.... I think its a combination of all of that ^^ Being different makes us feel like we are misunderstood and cannot connect with people = LONELY. Being either shunned or picked on from a young age for being different, as children and adult both do = LONELY and mostly society says different people are weird people should be avoided.

My take on what makes people lonely? Self-esteem. For whatever reason a person can a blow to their self esteem, from there its easy to spiral into thinking your worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, weird (take your pick) and self talk yourself into thinking no-one wants to know you, so you give up trying and settle for lonliness over putting yourself out there and possibly having your self -esteem shattered even more. I guess you could call it a form of self-preservation.

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

The path to loneliness is different for everyone I suppose. For me, it was my pregnant wife dying in a car accident that I still blame myself for. Its odd, last time I told someone that, it took a lot more words and effort, and that was only a week ago. I wonder if that's a sign that its getting easier.

I let all of those negative things I listed happen faster than you might think. Bitterness, self pity and anger are truly dangerous.

Locke, so sorry to hear that (hugs)

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I agree, self-esteem is a huge part of it, at least from my experience. I was paralyzingly shy in high school and had next to no friends, even acquaintances, and it was all because I expected people to bully me.

 

[Oldyoung]

Keep a certain distance to people you're around in daily life. You must make sure they won't discover what a boring life you lead. Never mention or ask about hobbies, plans or past life.

Believe that you're not worth anybody's time. That way you won't inconvenience anyone.

Be picky about who you want to hang with, and be part of the problem yourself.

Never challenge your comfort zone, while watching it shrink gradually. Don't go outside unless you have to.


BTW, I like this topic a lot. Identifying the problem is the best start at finding a solution.

 

[MTrip]

Embrace the solitude and not give a hoot about anyone or anything else. Some people do enjoy being lonely. Sometimes I think I'm one.

+1. It's the only way to roll. In this case, though, the word isn't "lonely"...it is "solitary".