What are you thinking right now?

[VanillaCreme]

They may be fine about it now, but don't you ever forget that they showed their asses when it went down. I know I won't forget it, and you best believe that. Because it's amazing to me how some people seem to think it's okay people showed the most horrific side of themselves, but once something good happens, it's okay. It's not okay. They still showed off in every worst way, and you should remember that the next time something bad happens again.

 

[9006]

The pressure's off, but how long will it last this time??

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's September...holy honeysuckle, where has the year gone?

 

[Alma lost her spoon]

How hard it is to see someone I looked up to during my childhood(my primary school headmaster) as he is now. Someone whom I admired for being noble of character, a real gentleman, reduced to a mere shadow of his former self, shuffling around confused with no real sense of purpose. Occassional brief moments of lucidity break through...I told him once during one of these such moments that I remember him from that time before, I think he remembered me for a fleeting second & then was off again to wander away to wherever that place is that people go....is that true loneliness I wonder.

I visit the home he lives in once a month(I was there again today) to teach the residents. I can't help wishing that such a lovely, kind hearted & intelligent soul could have something better.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Did hell just freeze over?

 

[Peaches]

http://daddytypes.com/archive/punk_is_dad_peteski_rickyadam.jpg

 

[ladyforsaken]

Why is it that I'm always given options in life where it only ends up hurting the people I care about? Why can't I have something without causing others hurt, just for once? This is so frustrating and I'm so tired of it. Why can't you just give me one simple thing in life to enjoy with without having to choose one over the other and causing more hurt?

^ Ditto.

 

[johnny196775]

Nice try.

 

[Drama]

when will this insanity end.

 

[Triple Bogey]

it is so depressing for me when I see myself, either a reflection in a window or a mirror.
It's not so much that I am ugly, it's the expressions on my face. The miserable expression and my miserable body language.
God knows what people think !
I am not a miserable person that's the thing, far from it.
And I have a god awful voice, so miserable, dead pan.
Been a struggle just functioning in society, getting a job etc. Everything has been a struggle. People saying stuff 'smile' , all those comments. Insults.
I think I have such a strong personality that I have managed to get by and have the life I have.

 

[TheSkaFish]

it is so depressing for me when I see myself, either a reflection in a window or a mirror.
It's not so much that I am ugly, it's the expressions on my face. The miserable expression and my miserable body language.
God knows what people think !
I am not a miserable person that's the thing, far from it.
And I have a god awful voice, so miserable, dead pan.
Been a struggle just functioning in society, getting a job etc. Everything has been a struggle. People saying stuff 'smile' , all those comments. Insults.
I think I have such a strong personality that I have managed to get by and have the life I have.

I definitely empathize with how everything is a struggle to function in society. You're expected to be okay with devoting the majority of your existence to doing one thing for the rest of your life. To me that's insane. I don't know how people are okay with that. It's hard for me because I have all sorts of interests and I'm not sure which I should pursue, and now it's harder because I can't go back to school anymore. I have to just find a way with what I have, and I have a degree in something I don't even like. So yea, I get you there.

But some other things, I think you can control more easily. For example, your voice. People do change their voice. It may be related to your body language. Have you ever noticed how it's hard to sing when you aren't sitting up perfectly straight? Maybe it's not true for everyone but it is for me, I think it's because you're not using your maximum lung capacity and the airflow is kind of restricted because your throat isn't straight. So that could be your voice issue.

Body language is also easily changeable. I've been working on mine for a little while now. It's hard at first, but I have to remind myself to stand up straight, shoulders back, and hold my head up high. Eventually it will become habit and it feels much better once I am doing it. I've heard it said that "others treat us the way we tell them to", and one of the ways we communicate this is body language. Perhaps if you carried yourself differently, people would react to you differently. I'll keep trying it and see what happens. Can't hurt so you might as well try it too.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wonder when my kids will be returning......

 

[Triple Bogey]

it is so depressing for me when I see myself, either a reflection in a window or a mirror.
It's not so much that I am ugly, it's the expressions on my face. The miserable expression and my miserable body language.
God knows what people think !
I am not a miserable person that's the thing, far from it.
And I have a god awful voice, so miserable, dead pan.
Been a struggle just functioning in society, getting a job etc. Everything has been a struggle. People saying stuff 'smile' , all those comments. Insults.
I think I have such a strong personality that I have managed to get by and have the life I have.

I definitely empathize with how everything is a struggle to function in society. You're expected to be okay with devoting the majority of your existence to doing one thing for the rest of your life. To me that's insane. I don't know how people are okay with that. It's hard for me because I have all sorts of interests and I'm not sure which I should pursue, and now it's harder because I can't go back to school anymore. I have to just find a way with what I have, and I have a degree in something I don't even like. So yea, I get you there.

But some other things, I think you can control more easily. For example, your voice. People do change their voice. It may be related to your body language. Have you ever noticed how it's hard to sing when you aren't sitting up perfectly straight? Maybe it's not true for everyone but it is for me, I think it's because you're not using your maximum lung capacity and the airflow is kind of restricted because your throat isn't straight. So that could be your voice issue.

Body language is also easily changeable. I've been working on mine for a little while now. It's hard at first, but I have to remind myself to stand up straight, shoulders back, and hold my head up high. Eventually it will become habit and it feels much better once I am doing it. I've heard it said that "others treat us the way we tell them to", and one of the ways we communicate this is body language. Perhaps if you carried yourself differently, people would react to you differently. I'll keep trying it and see what happens. Can't hurt so you might as well try it too.

To my own ears my voice sounds okay.
It's when I hear a recording of it I think 'god is that me ?'

My first job in retail 20 years ago. After a month the manager took me one side and said I had a 'very deadpan voice'

I feel at work I have to be this zany comedian just to get by coming up with endless jokes and one liners so people don't notice what I look like and sound like.

I have a unusual body shape too. Looks bloody silly, I can't even describe it.

I know people think I am talking crap or been too hard on myself but none of you have seen me or heard me. I see other people with miserable / sad looking faces or bored sounding voices and I think they have a hard time in life.

 

[johnny196775]

i like this phrase

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love
You make

 

[constant stranger]

Been a long time since I posted on A.L.L. so I'll check in what I'm thinking, which is that 3 total strangers have volunteered that I look sad.....2 cashiers and a character in a robot costume who was rolling around the State Fair. I wonder how many people thought I looked sad but didn't tell me what they thought?

Actually, they're not far off the mark. I'm not in crisis but I gave up on happiness decades ago, figuring I could just keep on keepin' on, coping and functioning in a monotonous gray zone, content but not trying for joy so I wouldn't get disappointed when I didn't make it to joy.

That may have been a mistake. I'll be making the transition from middle age to old age in this decade and I'm figuring since I botched up childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and my prime working years, I should make a real effort to do a good job with what I've got left. However, the past keeps coming into my mind. I can't change what's already been, but the shadow of years of grim gloominess feels pinned to me.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Ah lurnt me a knew wurd taday....

opporchancity

....me luves the whey ma vocabularily groes.

 

[Alana]

I wonder what everyone has been up to. Hi!

 

[Outcast]

Two free cases of beer a month from work? Hmm... What shall I do with these.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Two free cases of beer a month from work? Hmm... What shall I do with these.

What kind ?

 

[Ymir]

Which kind of sacrifice do I have to make to emotionally function like a regular person?