Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
zibafu
Well-known member
filmed a trick skateboarding today, on a new board, with new bearings in the wheels and new axels, in new shoes.
yet I didnt suck
fyi any skater will tell you, typically in new shoes they suck for a while, but I didnt w00t
Ofc Youtube is taking ages to process the video clip ffs
yet I didnt suck
fyi any skater will tell you, typically in new shoes they suck for a while, but I didnt w00t
Ofc Youtube is taking ages to process the video clip ffs
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
last day off work tomorrow. Enjoyed the last 10 days. Weather has been crap but I have done everything I wanted to do !
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
mslonely said:
Well, I just really feel that I should be doing better in life. Sometimes it gets to me, how far behind I am. But after all, beating myself up doesn't make me any better so you're right, I should try to be a little kinder to myself.
It was really nice of you to say that, MsLonely
PenDragon
Well-known member
BeyondShy said:
Yes, you do.
user 115627
It's all so tiresome.
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Huh, a crowded bus ride with about 30 russian-speaking kids and their educators was not on my list of predictable events today.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
I've never ever, ever, ever met someone who cares about their own household as little as you do. Yes, I could make it lovely, but I refuse to break my back caring about something that's not even mine when it's yours and you don't give a ****.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I hate waking up feeling like this. My own fault, I suppose.
L
lonelyfairy
Guest
Bittersweet... Lovely, but with some pain.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Well, things just keep going from bad to worse. I was hit with the very unwelcome surprise today to find out that my computer is going to be moved upstairs where I will have no privacy whatsoever. It will be completely ******* miserable. It's going to be like my last job, where someone was constantly breathing down my neck, where I was constantly nagged and annoyed all day until I wanted to explode.
Those of you who don't like me on here, you got your wish. I will not be able to be on here, or much of anywhere else anymore until who knows when.
Those of you who I do talk to and are friends with, I guess we will have to go on hiatus for a while when that ******** starts. I don't like having private conversations with someone constantly peering over my shoulder.
I'm just really frustrated because being down here, while far from perfect, at least gave me a place to have a little peace. A little room to, you know, NOT be miserable 24/7. To look up things sometimes that made me feel a little less like crap. Now I won't even have that.
I just wish I had some kind of ability that I could use to feel confident that I could get somewhere in life. But I don't. I feel like whatever I have just isn't good enough, not for a respectable job, not for a talent or passion and therefore not good enough to be interesting, not for a girlfriend, nothing. I wish I could overcome this feeling but I have no reason to believe things could possibly work out for me. I look at my future, and I can only see things turning out one way - with me being frustrated, miserable, and bored, working some ****** job and coming home angry, tired, irritable, broken and beaten. Never getting to be interesting or good at anything I care about or doing anything meaningful, just a life of watching the clock and wishing I could be someone else. Consumed by frustration and despair, only getting temporary relief through alcohol and video games but never able to get more out of life than that. I wish there was another way but I don't see how there could be.
Those of you who don't like me on here, you got your wish. I will not be able to be on here, or much of anywhere else anymore until who knows when.
Those of you who I do talk to and are friends with, I guess we will have to go on hiatus for a while when that ******** starts. I don't like having private conversations with someone constantly peering over my shoulder.
I'm just really frustrated because being down here, while far from perfect, at least gave me a place to have a little peace. A little room to, you know, NOT be miserable 24/7. To look up things sometimes that made me feel a little less like crap. Now I won't even have that.
I just wish I had some kind of ability that I could use to feel confident that I could get somewhere in life. But I don't. I feel like whatever I have just isn't good enough, not for a respectable job, not for a talent or passion and therefore not good enough to be interesting, not for a girlfriend, nothing. I wish I could overcome this feeling but I have no reason to believe things could possibly work out for me. I look at my future, and I can only see things turning out one way - with me being frustrated, miserable, and bored, working some ****** job and coming home angry, tired, irritable, broken and beaten. Never getting to be interesting or good at anything I care about or doing anything meaningful, just a life of watching the clock and wishing I could be someone else. Consumed by frustration and despair, only getting temporary relief through alcohol and video games but never able to get more out of life than that. I wish there was another way but I don't see how there could be.
lifestream
Well-known member
I'm sorry, SkaFish. I know how it feels to be boxed in like that. Maybe this happening now is the harbinger of some good changes in your life?
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
lifestream said:
Thank you. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I haven't had a perfect track record. I should have had a job years ago, I should have tried to get good at things years ago. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just complaining a lot and not doing enough. But it comes back to that feeling I described, the feeling of even if I did try harder, it wouldn't do any good because of a insufficient natural ability, or fundamental incompetence.
I've never felt any kind of power or natural ability inside, no feeling of "this is mine, I've got this" that successful people seem to have naturally. Instead, I've always been able to see easily all the reasons why something won't work. I've always HATED, with a passion, the idea that I need to just accept that I'm a loser. But I've never felt like I had it in me to be a winner, either. And I feel like there is all kinds of evidence of this all over the place. All the jobs I've had, for instance, have been completely dull and paid terribly. I couldn't help but feel this was evidence of my loserdom. If I was able to make it, I'd say, I'd be doing something else. Also the fact that we have always been kinda hurting financially. It's hard to feel optimistic when all you ever hear is people complaining about the bills all the time. It feels like getting out from under this is just insurmountable.
I wish I knew where I fit in. I think back to high school and some of the people who were around me. There was one guy who always knew he wanted to be a lawyer, another who always knew he wanted to be in business, and another who always knew he wanted to be a naval aviator. Life was just a simple matter of following tried-and-true paths for them. But my way was clear as mud. It's never been that easy for me to just want to do one thing over and over for the rest of my life. I also feel that in addition to having no true vocational interests, I also feel like a lot of paths are dead ends and I worry about finding myself on them.
And it doesn't help that I had a terrible shouting match with my mother this morning. I feel bad for it. I don't like getting my parents stressed out and I worry about my dog because he is always here in the house during our arguments and he doesn't understand, I'm afraid that I am just getting everyone stressed out and ruining their health and my own, though I don't worry about myself as much because I feel that I am more able to bounce back. I feel like even if I got a job today, there is nothing I can do to make right years of arguments like this. Like my family relationships are permanently ruined.
I just wish I could do the last 10 years of my life over again.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
BeyondShy said:
you do, go out there and get the life you want !
Tealeaf
Well-known member
I like how people quite literally filter everything through pre-existing beliefs.
Research finds that sitting indoors away from sunlight all the time and eye strain can make you near-sighted? Reading too much totally makes you near-sighted guys this is why I needed glasses! Wow! The old wives' tales are true!
Yes, because you sat inside in darkness/artificial light all day and strained your eyes or because you have the genetics for vision problems. Not because you "read too much".
Research finds that sitting indoors away from sunlight all the time and eye strain can make you near-sighted? Reading too much totally makes you near-sighted guys this is why I needed glasses! Wow! The old wives' tales are true!
Yes, because you sat inside in darkness/artificial light all day and strained your eyes or because you have the genetics for vision problems. Not because you "read too much".
Ska, I will say, i'm very saddened to hear about your computer being moved to a rather public area and I am even more saddened by your passiveness.
I'm not much of an optimist myself but I am always so hurt to see people close to giving up.
Yes, you should've, but you didn't. Try to focus on what you should do today.
Maybe, maybe you aren't doing enough Ska.
You'll never know until you try, and even if you fail, atleast you tried. Try harder, ignore that feeling, it won't do you any good.
Are you talking about insufficient natural ability, no natural talent? I'm not going to entertain this one, you know why.
The only reason why you've accepted this is because you've made up your mind that you are infact a loser. You are who you say you are Ska, what you say is really what is going to happen- for the reason that everytime you try to do something new, you do it with the mindset of "I won't suceed", you already have the outcome in your mind, you don't do it with a 100% positive mentality.
You can't change where you come from, that is you family's financial condition, but you can change where you're going. That was their journey, it's time you create yours.
Don't give pessimism a chance, you need to keep your head high, all the time, and on that one day that you're exhausted in all ways possible, allow yourself to be, the next day, get back on your feet.
A negative mind bears a negative outcome, remember this.
Another thing to remember: "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got".
You didn't know what you wanted to do and they did, that's not a train smash. Figure it out now, like I always say, it's never too late.
Don't beat yourself up about that, i'm sure and hopeful that they understand, and if they don't, I hope one day they'll see that you are just as stressed out as they are.
I think you're too passive around, i'm only assuming. Maybe you could try being optomistic even when things aren't going well. I tell people this all the time, when you tell yourself that you're good enough, that you still can better your life, that you're creative, that you're talented, you're prosperous, yoy're able to do whatever you put your mind to, then you certainly will. Or, atleast, even when things don't go as you say, you will be slightly a bit at peace, knowing that you're trying your atmost best and hoping for the best possible outcome.
IT IS POSSIBLE.
I know you can, Ska. I know you will. Who knows how close your breakthrough is? Don't give up, you'd hurt more if you did. I wish you nothing but the atmost best. You will survive this, you'll be rewarded for such endurance, don't be discouraged for too long.
I'll give you a challange that i've given myself,
From today, or maybe tomorrow, give yourself only one day to cry, complain, regret, be sad about something, and do that as much as you can on that one day BUT, don't ever cry, complain or be sad about it UNTIL you've done sonething about it.
I did say it was a challange! All the best.
Be kind to yourself and take care.
(hugs)
I'm not much of an optimist myself but I am always so hurt to see people close to giving up.
TheSkaFish said:
Yes, you should've, but you didn't. Try to focus on what you should do today.
Maybe, maybe you aren't doing enough Ska.
You'll never know until you try, and even if you fail, atleast you tried. Try harder, ignore that feeling, it won't do you any good.
Are you talking about insufficient natural ability, no natural talent? I'm not going to entertain this one, you know why.
TheSkaFish said:
The only reason why you've accepted this is because you've made up your mind that you are infact a loser. You are who you say you are Ska, what you say is really what is going to happen- for the reason that everytime you try to do something new, you do it with the mindset of "I won't suceed", you already have the outcome in your mind, you don't do it with a 100% positive mentality.
You can't change where you come from, that is you family's financial condition, but you can change where you're going. That was their journey, it's time you create yours.
Don't give pessimism a chance, you need to keep your head high, all the time, and on that one day that you're exhausted in all ways possible, allow yourself to be, the next day, get back on your feet.
A negative mind bears a negative outcome, remember this.
Another thing to remember: "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got".
TheSkaFish said:
You didn't know what you wanted to do and they did, that's not a train smash. Figure it out now, like I always say, it's never too late.
TheSkaFish said:
Don't beat yourself up about that, i'm sure and hopeful that they understand, and if they don't, I hope one day they'll see that you are just as stressed out as they are.
I think you're too passive around, i'm only assuming. Maybe you could try being optomistic even when things aren't going well. I tell people this all the time, when you tell yourself that you're good enough, that you still can better your life, that you're creative, that you're talented, you're prosperous, yoy're able to do whatever you put your mind to, then you certainly will. Or, atleast, even when things don't go as you say, you will be slightly a bit at peace, knowing that you're trying your atmost best and hoping for the best possible outcome.
How about you make the next 10 years of your life the best ever?TheSkaFish said:
IT IS POSSIBLE.
I know you can, Ska. I know you will. Who knows how close your breakthrough is? Don't give up, you'd hurt more if you did. I wish you nothing but the atmost best. You will survive this, you'll be rewarded for such endurance, don't be discouraged for too long.
I'll give you a challange that i've given myself,
From today, or maybe tomorrow, give yourself only one day to cry, complain, regret, be sad about something, and do that as much as you can on that one day BUT, don't ever cry, complain or be sad about it UNTIL you've done sonething about it.
I did say it was a challange! All the best.
Be kind to yourself and take care.
(hugs)
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
That's nice he liked what I made. But no. I'm not making more just for him. I'm not his mother. She can bring stuff over for him that he likes. In fact, she does, and he ends up wanting everything I make. That makes me sound like such a witch, but I really don't want to be bothered. There's a reason why I don't have kids of my own, and it's because I don't want to take care of anyone like that.
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