What are you thinking right now?

[TheSkaFish]

Ska, I will say, i'm very saddened to hear about your computer being moved to a rather public area and I am even more saddened by your passiveness.
I'm not much of an optimist myself but I am always so hurt to see people close to giving up.

Hi Mslonely, yeah, I guess I'll have one more week to stay down here so I'm going to try to make it count. I like to have my own private space because I don't like being watched 24/7....I like to have my own personal space to think and not be stressed out all day. I guess I can try to go on ALL and my other sites at night but I wouldn't like having to explain myself like I know I would have to if someone saw me going on a site like this. They'd ask me why I'm on a site called "A Lonely Life" and why I'm on a site at all when I'm supposed to be job searching. But I can't do that all day and I need some kind of release for the feelings I have.

Yes, you should've, but you didn't. Try to focus on what you should do today.
Maybe, maybe you aren't doing enough Ska.
You'll never know until you try, and even if you fail, atleast you tried. Try harder, ignore that feeling, it won't do you any good.
Are you talking about insufficient natural ability, no natural talent? I'm not going to entertain this one, you know why.

That's one thing I do, I get hung up on the past a lot. Or worry about the future until I go in circles. So much so that I often miss out on today. Either way it wastes time and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy - I don't do the things I want and have to do because I worry all day - then it doesn't get done, then I worry some more, and round and round we go.

I have beaten some bad habits over the years though, so I guess I just have to try to apply the same mindset and ignore these feelings when next they come up (which is guaranteed to be soon, unfortunately).

And yes, I know why you won't entertain the idea that I have no natural talent. I shouldn't be entertaining it either, it just creeps in when I get down like I was that day.

The only reason why you've accepted this is because you've made up your mind that you are infact a loser. You are who you say you are Ska, what you say is really what is going to happen- for the reason that everytime you try to do something new, you do it with the mindset of "I won't suceed", you already have the outcome in your mind, you don't do it with a 100% positive mentality.

You can't change where you come from, that is you family's financial condition, but you can change where you're going. That was their journey, it's time you create yours.
Don't give pessimism a chance, you need to keep your head high, all the time, and on that one day that you're exhausted in all ways possible, allow yourself to be, the next day, get back on your feet.

A negative mind bears a negative outcome, remember this.
Another thing to remember: "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got".

I've been that way pretty much all my life, going into things feeling like I'm just going to fail. It's something I definitely need to work on. I need to change more to I am who I say. I wonder if it really was that simple all this time...I've always told myself I wasn't good enough. Maybe that's why things have always felt hard for me. Maybe subconsciously I've always held back, so that I would know I would fail.

I will admit that whatever I've been doing hasn't worked, so it certainly wouldn't hurt to really try a more positive attitude and see what happens.

Don't beat yourself up about that, i'm sure and hopeful that they understand, and if they don't, I hope one day they'll see that you are just as stressed out as they are.
I think you're too passive around, i'm only assuming. Maybe you could try being optomistic even when things aren't going well. I tell people this all the time, when you tell yourself that you're good enough, that you still can better your life, that you're creative, that you're talented, you're prosperous, yoy're able to do whatever you put your mind to, then you certainly will. Or, atleast, even when things don't go as you say, you will be slightly a bit at peace, knowing that you're trying your atmost best and hoping for the best possible outcome.

Eh, I know, I just worry that I'm giving them stress-related diseases. And also about my dog, because they pick up feelings that humans have. Being optimistic when things aren't going well, that has always been a weak point of mine. But who knows, maybe if I start telling myself I'm good enough, I can start to change things from the inside out.

How about you make the next 10 years of your life the best ever?
IT IS POSSIBLE.

I know you can, Ska. I know you will. Who knows how close your breakthrough is? Don't give up, you'd hurt more if you did. I wish you nothing but the atmost best. You will survive this, you'll be rewarded for such endurance, don't be discouraged for too long.

I'll give you a challange that i've given myself,
From today, or maybe tomorrow, give yourself only one day to cry, complain, regret, be sad about something, and do that as much as you can on that one day BUT, don't ever cry, complain or be sad about it UNTIL you've done sonething about it.
I did say it was a challange! All the best.

Be kind to yourself and take care.
(hugs)

Well, the problem with the next 10 years is that some of those who are very dear to me are already very old and we've had a few close calls as it is. That's one reason why I wish I was accomplished already and why I want to be happy soon, so I can share it before it's too late. I guess it's all the more reason not to waste another moment.

I kind of took your challenge, by the way, and took today as my day to let myself feel bad but I'm looking forward to feeling better tomorrow morning.

Anyway. Thank you for your words of encouragement, Mslonely. And thank you always for caring.

(hugs) for you too.

 

[Aisha]

Even if through sheer exhaustion sleep does happen- nightmares throughout and sleep paralysis on waking. Can't win.

 

[Solivagant]

^ I relate all too well.


I can't resist a word search.

 

[lonelyfairy]

People really have too much useless stuff. Now I'm even more interested about becoming minimalist.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I know I'm very behind with PMs. I'll get to them as soon as I can.

On another thought...
Some days are hard, other days are harder.
Easy days come by when I'm in denial. I can't afford to be in denial for too much, though.

 

[PenDragon]

♪♫♪♫ So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl ♪♫♪♫

 

[HoodedMonk]

I"m this close to losing it.

Orly you got 25k and now you only have 6 grand?

It's only been a month.

There's something wrong with this picture.

 

[Shio]

I'm think about how people who actually had a love one die are actually pretty lucky. It's better having someone you care about die than not having that person to lose.

 

[9006]

Some people are stupid an so full of ****.

 

[Aisha]

Nothing ever comes easy. Nothing you want ever comes easy.

Fireworks were okay. Pity we couldn't have stayed up at the restaurant.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Sigh... I just want to go a shower, eat food, change my clothes and fall asleep under soft blanket. What a crazy day. Tomorrow will be even more crazier. Pleeease, nooo. x__x

 

[Peaches]

If I don't have the right mattress, in a matter of days I become a dangerous mental patient

 

[ladyforsaken]

I need this day to be over. I don't want to wait for when I sit there and talk about my health issues to a sister I was never close with from the beginning. I don't want to have to explain myself when I really don't have to but I will end up doing so out of respect and duty. I just want to be alone for the weekend, I've had enough mingling with family/relatives this past week alone.

I'm think about how people who actually had a love one die are actually pretty lucky. It's better having someone you care about die than not having that person to lose.

Yes, it would've been a privilege to have had someone, but the pain and loss you feel from losing that person is beyond what you can imagine if you've never experienced something like that before. Sometimes it might be too hard for some people to deal with that it just tears them apart for the rest of the life. I guess I just wanted to add that... I do see your perspective on this and while I used to think that having loved and lost is better than not at all, right now I feel like that statement would hold true if that person is totally worth it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I"m this close to losing it.

Orly you got 25k and now you only have 6 grand?

It's only been a month.

There's something wrong with this picture.

Oh man. I strongly dislike money problems. They have a way of making a person feel this kind of powerless anger.

I hear you.

((hugs))

 

[ladyforsaken]

Oh man. I strongly dislike money problems. They have a way of making a person feel this kind of powerless anger.

Tell me about it. I am in more debt while I'm sick than I ever have been when I wasn't. It's freaking ridiculous.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Tell me about it. I am in more debt while I'm sick than I ever have been when I wasn't. It's freaking ridiculous.

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[BeyondShy]

As soon as you start to say to yourself that you have a little faith in people they turn it around and treat you like you were never there and I fall for it all the time.

 

[Nely Lo]

I won't go there anymore, it'll be better, I feel insane and it hurts, my mind tricked me.

 

[Wayfarer]

am I going to mess this up too?

---

yup lol

 

[VanillaCreme]

Did it not make sense to you that those should have been for dinner? And seriously, we did have a can of sauerkraut - a big can - but just like the cans of evaporated milk... It's magically gone. I just don't get it.