What are you thinking right now?

[NoxApex(N/A)]

When I lived in India the cow always had right of way if she stopped we all stopped. So this morning I'm driving down the country lane that leads to the village, it's about ten feet wide with grass verges and hedges either side, and there's a cow sat smack bang in the middle of the lane. I stopped got out of the car did a few stretches and caught up with some emails while I waited for the cow to move.

20 minutes later I'm admiring the view, Glastonbury Tor is in the distance with the sun rising behind it, it's breathtakingly beautiful. A car comes tearing down the lane, going in the opposite direction, see's the cow and comes to a screeching stop. The driver, a thirtysomething in an ill fitting suit, jumps out and starts shouting at the cow to move. The cow ignores him and decides she'd rather munch the grass on the verge. This annoys the driver and he starts swearing at the top of his voice while trying to lift the cow to her feet.

Having failed to shift the cow by physical and verbal force he turns to me and shouts "don't just f*ck*ing stand there! help me!". My reply "it's just a cow man, she'll move when she's ready" tips him over the edge and he screams, the cow gives him a look of bemusement and bewilderment, she's had enough of this, gets to her feet and wanders off down the lane waving her tail. The driver, now a bright red sweating dishevelled mess, throws some choice expletives my way gets back in his car and the whole big ball of fury and rage tears off towards the motorway.

I finish taking in the view, help my self to a few blackberries off the hedge and head for the village for coffee and croissants.

This reminds me of the Bull of Heaven story from ancient Proto-Indo-European myths, which all in one way or another point to Taurus. And well, Taurus don't give no sh!ts. It's a cow, chill bro. Stop having a cow over a cow. That kind of a thing is just natural to wherever you live. Down here in Florida we have alligators and snakes which pose such kinds of problems, and up in Alaska they've got Moose, and uuhh, given that a Moose is like the size of a small bus, typically it's ill-advised to challenge something like that.

Cow's got weight to them. They're also very important to both animal husbandry and the ecosystem. Whatever the rush he was in is, I'm sure whenever he gets where he's going that "there was a cow in the road" is a pretty understandable reason for tardiness. All he's gotta do is take a picture of it for proof. I mean, you're not gonna move a cow. That's a pretty funny thought though. Reminds me of when one of the college wrestlers that used to work for me got bold out of curiosity and tried to forcibly push the forklift out of the way. Bruh, it weighs like 6K - 10K lbs, not happening.

 

[ringwood]

When I lived in India the cow always had right of way if she stopped we all stopped. So this morning I'm driving down the country lane that leads to the village, it's about ten feet wide with grass verges and hedges either side, and there's a cow sat smack bang in the middle of the lane. I stopped got out of the car did a few stretches and caught up with some emails while I waited for the cow to move.

20 minutes later I'm admiring the view, Glastonbury Tor is in the distance with the sun rising behind it, it's breathtakingly beautiful. A car comes tearing down the lane, going in the opposite direction, see's the cow and comes to a screeching stop. The driver, a thirtysomething in an ill fitting suit, jumps out and starts shouting at the cow to move. The cow ignores him and decides she'd rather munch the grass on the verge. This annoys the driver and he starts swearing at the top of his voice while trying to lift the cow to her feet.

Having failed to shift the cow by physical and verbal force he turns to me and shouts "don't just f*ck*ing stand there! help me!". My reply "it's just a cow man, she'll move when she's ready" tips him over the edge and he screams, the cow gives him a look of bemusement and bewilderment, she's had enough of this, gets to her feet and wanders off down the lane waving her tail. The driver, now a bright red sweating dishevelled mess, throws some choice expletives my way gets back in his car and the whole big ball of fury and rage tears off towards the motorway.

I finish taking in the view, help my self to a few blackberries off the hedge and head for the village for coffee and croissants.

Man, did I ever enjoy reading this. ******* awesome! Made my morning.

 

[Unsigned]

When I lived in India the cow always had right of way if she stopped we all stopped.

I was in New Delhi on business in 2005.
The company driver took us everywhere.
And yes, there were cows and even buffaloes in the streets.
I asked our driver what would happen if you hit a cow with the car.
He said..."no, no, will not hit, very easy to stop".
I said "but what if it is an accident and you didn't see the cow".
Him: "no, no, no, always see cow, then stop. Easy not to hit".

He wouldn't even discuss the possibility of hitting a cow...

 

[user 150037]

I came on here to moan...

Are friends who cant just settle on one plan worth the frustration?

 

[okidoke]

My wife made a dinner date tonight for us, my mate and his wife. My wife and she aren't close, just acquaintances, but my wife was just trying to be nice and give us something to do with other people. So, I should be keen and looking forward to such an outing, but I just can't help feeling like I just want it to be over already. I haven't spoken with my mate since our brief discussion recently, and I've never really connected will with his wife. If I put on a mask of happy pretense, I'm being fake. If I'm displaying how I actually feel, then I'll come across as a miserable buttwipe. I don't even know how to act anymore.

Are friends who cant just settle on one plan worth the frustration?

Can you elaborate?

 

[isthatso]

My wife made a dinner date tonight for us, my mate and his wife. My wife and she aren't close, just acquaintances, but my wife was just trying to be nice and give us something to do with other people. So, I should be keen and looking forward to such an outing, but I just can't help feeling like I just want it to be over already. I haven't spoken with my mate since our brief discussion recently, and I've never really connected will with his wife. If I put on a mask of happy pretense, I'm being fake. If I'm displaying how I actually feel, then I'll come across as a miserable buttwipe. I don't even know how to act anymore.


Can you elaborate?

I would make up an excuse not to go.
Better your wife and her meet separately. If she is keen.
Just my 2 cents.

 

[okidoke]

I would make up an excuse not to go.
Better your wife and her meet separately. If she is keen.
Just my 2 cents.

Nah, I won't do that. I can't ruin a planned outing like that. I'll be okay with it. I've got plenty of experience at suffering through situations. It'll probably turn out nicer than I expect. I'm probably being anxious for nothing. My wife and her wouldn't meet separately anyway. Thx for your 2 cents.

 

[isthatso]

Nah, I won't do that. I can't ruin a planned outing like that. I'll be okay with it. I've got plenty of experience at suffering through situations. It'll probably turn out nicer than I expect. I'm probably being anxious for nothing. My wife and her wouldn't meet separately anyway. Thx for your 2 cents.

Just an extra 2 and a half cents which is probably nothing to do with your issue...
I attended a Christian Bible study group last night. (Desperate to solve my lack of social life problem)
One guy just dominated the whole group, showing his expert knowledge. The others just sat there letting him dominate. I tried to speak up but this guy was actually using intimidation to control us.
Swear I won't go back. Despite the others being nice people.
Woe is me.

 

[ardour]

Not to flex in some immature, egotistical way, but since going to the gym and dressing better a few years ago I've noticed people saying hi to me, and in general being nice and acknowledging me. Women seem to look sometimes. Sometimes guys as well. (Are these gay men? Honestly I can't tell if it's that or they're just being friendly.) This is very strange because I'm not accustomed to being acknowledged in a positive way.

It's all too late though, the 'hardwiring' that formed during adolescence doesn't allow me to be relaxed and friendly with strangers. I'm too old for relationships, or developing a social circle from scratch.

 

[isthatso]

Not to flex in some immature, egotistical way, but since going to the gym and dressing better a few years ago I've noticed people saying hi to me, and in general being nice and acknowledging me. Women seem to look sometimes. Sometimes guys as well. (Are these gay men? Honestly I can't tell if it's that or they're just being friendly.) This is very strange because I'm not accustomed to being acknowledged in a positive way.

It's all too late though, the 'hardwiring' that formed during adolescence doesn't allow me to be relaxed and friendly with strangers. I'm too old for relationships, or developing a social circle from scratch.

I lost 27 kg in 6 months two years ago. Got stronger, worked out. Got disciplined in what I read. Set goals and achieved many. And I was noticeably more energetic in conversations. People notice energy.

But put back half of that weight since then. Hard to maintain motivation. But I really want to get back into that motivation mode. Because my thinking becomes more constructive. And age is partly an excuse . I don't want to use age as an excuse. But that doesn't mean I want to visit night clubs again.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Not to flex in some immature, egotistical way, but since going to the gym and dressing better a few years ago I've noticed people saying hi to me, and in general being nice and acknowledging me. Women seem to look sometimes. Sometimes guys as well. (Are these gay men? Honestly I can't tell if it's that or they're just being friendly.) This is very strange because I'm not accustomed to being acknowledged in a positive way.

I don't think it's a flex, or that those guys are necessarily gay.
I think they just might be people noticing that you're doing good work.
I know I feel better about myself when I exercise and dress neater, so maybe it gives off that energy outwards, and it could be doing the same for you, too.

 

[okidoke]

..... Hard to maintain motivation. But I really want to get back into that motivation mode. .......

That's the thing for me. One has to have a reason to be motivated and I can no longer see any reasons. The reality is I will never have the woman or relationship that I want, or another job, or the money to live a lavish lifestyle, so what can possibly motivate me to do any more than I am now, which is just enough exercise to keep me from crying from sheer boredom. And that is actually a real thing btw, being bored to tears - I've done it.

 

[isthatso]

The reality is I will never have the woman or relationship that I want

So your marriage is not working?

 

[isthatso]

That's the thing for me. One has to have a reason to be motivated and I can no longer see any reasons. The reality is I will never have the woman or relationship that I want, or another job, or the money to live a lavish lifestyle, so what can possibly motivate me to do any more than I am now, which is just enough exercise to keep me from crying from sheer boredom. And that is actually a real thing btw, being bored to tears - I've done it.

I get depressed but sounds like you've got clinical depression. Which must be bloody awful.

 

[okidoke]

So your marriage is not working?

no. it hasn't for a very long time. i think it will come to a conclusion once my youngest has left home. we're amicable, but we're just too different.

 

[isthatso]

no. it hasn't for a very long time. i think it will come to a conclusion once my youngest has left home. we're amicable, but we're just too different.

So that contributes to the double date problem you mentioned yesterday .
I was fortunate my wife didn't walk out on me. I was an unreliable job keeper. Changed frequently with periods of unemployment. We hung in there and I'm glad we did as I was able to assist her when cancer took it's toll at the end of her life.

 

[okidoke]

So that contributes to the double date problem you mentioned yesterday .

to some degree yes. we are friends of sorts. we do things together at times, and even have a week away together in november on the coast, but we don't have much to say to each other apart from the topic of our kids and elderly mothers. we don't share any interests. there was always sexual disparity.

the dinner date turned out okay. it didn't go too long. enough to have everyone have a little chat about various things.

 

[isthatso]

but we don't have much to say to each other apart from the topic of our kids and elderly mothers. we don't share any interests. there was always sexual disparity.

I can't really answer you well unless I fully disclose the problems that were in my marriage. And I don't want to do that, out of respect for my deceased wife.
Let me challenge you indirectly,hopefully in a nice way.
1. There is no couple who have a perfect sex life
2. Say you meet another woman soon. Maybe the sex is good at first, the honeymoon period. After that? And the new woman in your life may gradually show her weak points, which makes you feel maybe your first wife wasn't too bad.
3. Different interests is common in a marriage. Can be healthy sometimes.

Having said all that, you may be due to experience single life for a while. Can you manage on your own? Are finances an issue? Your mental health requires support, surely?
I hope you eventually find a suitable partner. We all need someone. I need someone I can have daily chats with at least.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Sorry @Unsigned my response is

Don't take this the wrong way, but what you want is for your husband to raise your son to be an all around capable and accomplished man.
I am not trying to insult the single mothers here. I know that sometimes it is unavoidable and I am sure some of you have done good jobs.
But IMO, and in my experience, lots can go wrong and often does when the female (single or not) takes the lead in raising a boy. That's a father's job. His most important job, in fact.

I agree, I have no desire to lead anything at all. My husband will lead the family as the lord intended. As a unit, I will raise my son to be a perfect man, just like my father was, but I will not have the ultimate lead it’s important to note that, I respect you bringing that up.

My ex is simply not a man so he fails, less than a year of me being with a real man and my daughter has gotten so much better when I was single I fed into all the games so I have blame too, but after meeting Rob… everything is just in place now… amazing.

 

[okidoke]

I can't really answer you well unless I fully disclose the problems that were in my marriage. And I don't want to do that, out of respect for my deceased wife.
Let me challenge you indirectly,hopefully in a nice way.
1. There is no couple who have a perfect sex life
2. Say you meet another woman soon. Maybe the sex is good at first, the honeymoon period. After that? And the new woman in your life may gradually show her weak points, which makes you feel maybe your first wife wasn't too bad.
3. Different interests is common in a marriage. Can be healthy sometimes.

Having said all that, you may be due to experience single life for a while. Can you manage on your own? Are finances an issue? Your mental health requires support, surely?
I hope you eventually find a suitable partner. We all need someone. I need someone I can have daily chats with at least.

i know you mean well, but i've discussed all this much deeper with others. i'm not looking for a solution, but i appreciate your input. to briefly answer you though 1) i know that, but no sex at all or a massive sexual disparity is not healthy 2) obviously finding someone you match better with is important 3) different "extra" interests can be healthy for sure, but not having anything in common is pointless, you may as well have separate lives, be separate people.

I can manage on my own sure. Financially though it's precarious. Selling the house and splitting the balance after paying off the bank will leave me in an awful situation. I buy a lottery ticket on the off chance. You're lucky you have daily chats with people.