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Sorry, I meant to write more. My last response was highlighting the contradiction.

As for you last questions, who knows? Life is what you make it. Do something about it.
I guess it is kind of a contradiction but I mean that I put so much into a marriage and tried to provide a nice life for my wife to find as far as my marriage goes it was basically a waste of over 20 years. The ONLY good thing that came from it was my son.
 
I guess it is kind of a contradiction but I mean that I put so much into a marriage and tried to provide a nice life for my wife to find as far as my marriage goes it was basically a waste of over 20 years. The ONLY good thing that came from it was my son.
P.K. - There is a really good book called "Anyway" by Kent M. Keith (If you haven't heard of it). (interesting story about it too, involving improper attribution). Anyway, heh. Take it easy (I don't have much to add, just glanced at your post).
 
I guess it is kind of a contradiction but I mean that I put so much into a marriage and tried to provide a nice life for my wife to find as far as my marriage goes it was basically a waste of over 20 years. The ONLY good thing that came from it was my son.
Well, that might be all that was supposed to be. Who knows? I've got a similar situation, been together for 30 years, got three great daughters, but my marriage has been over for years. I'm financially stuck in it, and that's a massive barrier for trying to get another relationship started. Just have to make the most of it. Sometimes our lives are just a sacrifice it seems. And, it's not a waste if you've learned something from it and can use that to better your life.
 
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I’m setting here kind of scared and so lonely. I’m thinking about how I wasted so many years with someone who didn’t love me. As a man I gave everything I had to for my family and now I realize that it was all for nothing. My son is the best thing to come out of this. However I’m now seeing what so many people saw years ago. They saw that she didn’t care at all for me and just wanted someone to pay the bills and support the family. Now she’s become extremely nasty, abusive and very manipulative. I can’t take anymore. I just want to leave and find a better life. Perhaps with someone who truly wants to enjoy a life together. I’m at that point of wondering is there any true love and happiness out there? Is it too much to ask for?

As okidoke said, you have your son, so not all of this was a waste. Besides your son, what is stopping you from walking away? This clearly is not a good thing for you.
 
It was so very frustrating to wake up just as the “action” was about to take place.

Later - which set a precedent for the whole rest of the day
 
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I found a boardgame group, but I'm scared to go :( I'm even scared to ask, what language do they speak or maybe I don't need to speak a lot while playing. I'm also not sure if older people can visit, I mean nobody forbid them, but if there are only young ones there then it's uncomfortable. And what if I don't get the rules(or not get fast enough) :rolleyes:
I'm scared(and lazy) to look for a new job.

And after all I can somehow make some connections, even friends, but... online, and I can't do it irl. Maybe it is smth in my looks or maybe it's not... And right now I was supposed to be sleeping not whining or thinking.
 
I found a boardgame group, but I'm scared to go :( I'm even scared to ask, what language do they speak or maybe I don't need to speak a lot while playing. I'm also not sure if older people can visit, I mean nobody forbid them, but if there are only young ones there then it's uncomfortable. And what if I don't get the rules(or not get fast enough) :rolleyes:
I'm scared(and lazy) to look for a new job.

And after all I can somehow make some connections, even friends, but... online, and I can't do it irl. Maybe it is smth in my looks or maybe it's not... And right now I was supposed to be sleeping not whining or thinking.

Hey there. Haven't seen you around here in a while.

Just wanted to say, glad you are doing OK! At least, in other ways besides the board game and job situations.
 
I found a boardgame group, but I'm scared to go :( I'm even scared to ask, what language do they speak or maybe I don't need to speak a lot while playing. I'm also not sure if older people can visit, I mean nobody forbid them, but if there are only young ones there then it's uncomfortable. And what if I don't get the rules(or not get fast enough) :rolleyes:
I'm scared(and lazy) to look for a new job.

And after all I can somehow make some connections, even friends, but... online, and I can't do it irl. Maybe it is smth in my looks or maybe it's not... And right now I was supposed to be sleeping not whining or thinking.
What are you scared of? Ask yourself? You’ll probably be wrong. Just go check it out, and if it doesn’t suit you for whatever reason, you won’t be any worse off. At least you can say you faced a fear, and it’s experience for tackling something else. Go, go check it out.
 
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I found a boardgame group, but I'm scared to go ...

I can understand your discomfort, but are you going to kick yourself more, if you go and decide it just isn't for you or if you don't go and just decide to not take the chance to check it out?
 
Hey there. Haven't seen you around here in a while.

Just wanted to say, glad you are doing OK! At least, in other ways besides the board game and job situations.
I was here, just reading.
Thank you.

What are you scared of? Ask yourself? You’ll probably be wrong. Just go check it out, and if it doesn’t suit you for whatever reason, you won’t be any worse off. At least you can say you faced a fear, and it’s experience for tackling something else. Go, go check it out.
I'm afraid not to understand people and/or to upset them. It's not cool to play with someone who can't play good, but probably if they had someone good to play with, they wouldn't come to a group. Thank you. I wrote to them, omg!
 

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