I thought the question had to do with looks. Because generally, most people will be shocked to see a fat person with a beautiful person. But rarely is someone going to be shocked that a fat person is dating someone who is kind and has a good personality. I think more often, a fat person is going to have to lower their standards looks wise instead of personality wise.
Are fat people allowed to have standards?
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I thought the question had to do with looks. Because generally, most people will be shocked to see a fat person with a beautiful person. But rarely is someone going to be shocked that a fat person is dating someone who is kind and has a good personality. I think more often, a fat person is going to have to lower their standards looks wise instead of personality wise.
I always thought Jennifer Lawrence was already skinny, lol.
Claudia1794
Well-known member
I thought maybe she was talking about Jennifer Hudson because she lost all that weight. One of the first movies I saw Jennifer Lawrence in, at most she looked fleshy, far from fat but not as skinny as she is now. The other one, I have no idea who that is. Don't even know why I felt the need to reply to that...anywho
Meghan Trainor is a one hit wonder. She had a song called "All About That Bass" (I think that's the title) where she championed being thick and having a phat booty, lol. You might have heard it. It was pretty popular.
user 135067
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If attraction is merely physical wouldn't it suggest a short term or failed relationship?
I'm no great shakes. My best days are behind me. A lady moved in next door with her new hubby. Now, I have a type, and she did not fit it at all, but I knew instantly she affected me.
She was really friendly and attentive to me. But it wasn't until she gave me a really big lingering hug for no real reason that I realized I'd affected her too. I'm kind of dumb that way. I really need an obvious signal. That was so obvious that her husband stormed off.
Later I saw her sitting alone on a rock in the yard. I guess there'd been words.
I've kept myself at a distance. She seems to have too. She always has a massive smile for me, but we don't talk.
I've always believed there was more to a relationship than what's outside. I have never understood the influence, but it can be there. I've felt it several times. At least four. Some stronger than others. I'd really like to experience a relationship with one of the strongest ones. It would be nice to know if it was real or imagined. It's also sad that I might have left the best ones get away.
I'm no great shakes. My best days are behind me. A lady moved in next door with her new hubby. Now, I have a type, and she did not fit it at all, but I knew instantly she affected me.
She was really friendly and attentive to me. But it wasn't until she gave me a really big lingering hug for no real reason that I realized I'd affected her too. I'm kind of dumb that way. I really need an obvious signal. That was so obvious that her husband stormed off.
Later I saw her sitting alone on a rock in the yard. I guess there'd been words.
I've kept myself at a distance. She seems to have too. She always has a massive smile for me, but we don't talk.
I've always believed there was more to a relationship than what's outside. I have never understood the influence, but it can be there. I've felt it several times. At least four. Some stronger than others. I'd really like to experience a relationship with one of the strongest ones. It would be nice to know if it was real or imagined. It's also sad that I might have left the best ones get away.
Claudia1794
Well-known member
Yep...it was one that you hate but you know the words because its over played and stupid.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
That was one of those songs that I consciously tried to avoid for a while.
I was doing well too, but eventually, it found me.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I did mean Jennifer Hudson, but Lawrence also applies. She wasn't fat, but yes, she also slimmed down to the "Hollywood" expectations.
Morena 9 25am Sunday 6 nov Hard to know what a bbw or bbm thinks about this if your really pretty and really overweight does that make you ugly if have model like body but not so pretty does that make you pretty so my thought on bbw or bbm go about expectations come down to how lonely they are if lonely they may go for gold if they end up with bronze it will be still like gold if there not lonely they will wait for the gold
That final sentence "why should weight have anything to do with it?" exactly what has weight got to do with it? It's just shallowness to judge by outward appearances. Those who use such criteria, how successful are they in maintaining long term happy relationships? I had a similar conversation with a cousin once years ago. He was questioning how did that bloke manage to be with that lass. I told him, you'd be surprised how depth of character and personality can go a long way.
DeadDreamsWhispering
Well-known member
If I was in a relationship with a girl and I became overweight I'd feel like I was disrespecting her by not trying enough to give her the best experience in the relationship I could. I'm not an overweight guy so why should I feel obligated to consider an overweight girl? I think I'd struggle to even be able to be sexually intimate with a girl I wasnt physically attracted to, I just think it would be a struggle.
Honestly what you're saying is like me saying a girl is shallow for not wanting to date a guy with no income and no plan for the future .
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Late to this party as well, but I'll just throw my two cents in as a fat girl myself. Sharing the last recent experience with a guy that I have absolutely no interest in, a part of me fully believes that he said anything to me because he thought I would "just go with it" and if he knew me better than what he does, he would have known to not even try. I find it oddly funny that some people just assume that bigger people or people that are not considered conventionally attractive should just take whatever anyone throws at us. I would never think, regardless of what I look like, that anyone would automatically be into me. I find it strange when people think they can pull anyone.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Rightttt dusting off my fingertips for this one....
Is not dating someone with no income shallow? **** lol On a serious note, if your partner became sick for example, and unable to lose weight, would you leave? Just... wondering....
This is the issue I had with it, the "they should be lucky to be with me" mindset... I wondered how on earth is that even rational. But there are many aspects to it... even where the feeder phenomenon comes from, "fattening" their women up so they can settle their abandonment anxiety. Thing is, just as there are people who think that they cant pull anyone, there are people who think that they can pull anyone. Some people, have never had an issue attracting whoever they particularly want, so it gives a false sense that "everyone" wants them.
Interesting, never looked at it this way but I am sure it the same for us all now that I think about that perspective.
I've seen this, I saw this overweight guy hmm average in looks in my honest opinion with a beautiful woman, a lot of the men I was with was angry, kept saying howwwwwwwww did he get herrrr I cant even look at herrrr, was very strange to see because these are the same guys that would harp on about personality.
Is not dating someone with no income shallow? **** lol On a serious note, if your partner became sick for example, and unable to lose weight, would you leave? Just... wondering....
This is the issue I had with it, the "they should be lucky to be with me" mindset... I wondered how on earth is that even rational. But there are many aspects to it... even where the feeder phenomenon comes from, "fattening" their women up so they can settle their abandonment anxiety. Thing is, just as there are people who think that they cant pull anyone, there are people who think that they can pull anyone. Some people, have never had an issue attracting whoever they particularly want, so it gives a false sense that "everyone" wants them.
Each to their own, everyone's got their own views and expectations. As long as no one get's emotionally hurt, then whatever makes them happy. Maybe instead of using the word, "shallow" perhaps I could've used the phrase, "narrow or focused selection criteria" or something like that anyway lol.
Dotblonde67
Active member
My last partner was a 6ft 5 420lbs male and I've never had a relationship like it. I think that was because as a whole person, he exuded so much and was, in my eyes, quite breathtakingly beautiful! He has smooth skin, striking blue eyes and a killer smile.
I'm still in live with him and always will be, but he has Aspergers and is going through therapy for childhood abuse and he just wasn't ready for a relationship. I never judge men on looks alone, my only worry relating to obesity is the person's health as that is paramount.
I'm still in live with him and always will be, but he has Aspergers and is going through therapy for childhood abuse and he just wasn't ready for a relationship. I never judge men on looks alone, my only worry relating to obesity is the person's health as that is paramount.
user 188717
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Forget social banter, and assumptions. Bottom-line, this boils down to caring what people think the conventional way vs. living as yourself without wounds. Being and appearing cool vs. living as a happy cucumber. All patched up or stuffing it down.
Polar opposites behave very similar. Always. That's the ultimate irony of the world. One whom is a quote on quote, health nut, more times than not stuffs down their emotions instead of food. And happy nut, vice versa. Morbidly Obese.
Every single relationship should be approached with an open mind otherwise it is not a relationship. It is co-dependency, ironically. Contrary to the "popular" belief that the exact opposite is more true. Loving traits are flourished, not muscular and diet. To each their own.
You attract naïve when you are. You attract the mature when you are, mature. Narrow is so narrow it has to convince and remind itself that it is not "stupid" and accepted. Seen, shown, it's existence. So much so, it doesn't have an authentic one of their own.
Standards shall and never will be, standards. It's an oxymoron that falls upon itself. It will be avoidance of love, on the soul level. Not everyone is ready for love past looks. It is what it is.
Enter with baggage, without, baggage. Haha. Fat Love proverb perhaps?
Be careful not to replace your self-worth with the wrong abundance. Your mirror and body can only do so much, all the same. "Lighter" people.
Polar opposites behave very similar. Always. That's the ultimate irony of the world. One whom is a quote on quote, health nut, more times than not stuffs down their emotions instead of food. And happy nut, vice versa. Morbidly Obese.
Every single relationship should be approached with an open mind otherwise it is not a relationship. It is co-dependency, ironically. Contrary to the "popular" belief that the exact opposite is more true. Loving traits are flourished, not muscular and diet. To each their own.
You attract naïve when you are. You attract the mature when you are, mature. Narrow is so narrow it has to convince and remind itself that it is not "stupid" and accepted. Seen, shown, it's existence. So much so, it doesn't have an authentic one of their own.
Standards shall and never will be, standards. It's an oxymoron that falls upon itself. It will be avoidance of love, on the soul level. Not everyone is ready for love past looks. It is what it is.
Enter with baggage, without, baggage. Haha. Fat Love proverb perhaps?
Be careful not to replace your self-worth with the wrong abundance. Your mirror and body can only do so much, all the same. "Lighter" people.
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DeadDreamsWhispering
Well-known member
Really? Naive people are more likely to attract predators because who do predators target the most?
ardour
Well known loser
It’s an unpopular and maybe even considered hateful view now I guess, but people should do their best to maintain the appearance they had when they first met their partner as a matter of consideration, a least for as long as possible. If someone fell for an overweight person all well and good, but dating someone who was initially in good shape who then decides to balloon to the point where they are barely recognizable, and acts like their SO shouldn't care, that shows disdain for what the other person can comfortably tolerate.
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CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
But what if they fell sick ? Like there was a legitimate reason? Thisss is what I wanna know
ardour
Well known loser
I said as long as possible.But what if they fell sick ? Like there was a legitimate reason? Thisss is what I wanna know
How much of the time is illness the issue, really.
Whether it's women who who gain a lot of weight immediately after settling down, or guys refusing to maintain basic grooming and fitness, it's the same "Give me what I want, and f*ck your needs mentality." Same mentality from extreme incels for that matter. As if the opposite sex were barely sentient and had no right to preferences.
However whiney and angry I might be I've never expected women to find me attractive let alone called them bigots if they found me repulsive, which most probably do. Most people aren't "pure" in terms of what they require to be sexual with another person, nor do they control that.
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