I don't understand. Where did I go so wrong?

[VanillaCreme]

People gives hugs just to give a hug, expecting nothing in return. People talk to others expecting nothing in return.

I expect a cake from you. Or one of those chocolate avocado tarts.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Dude its all attitude. Women find self confidence the most attractive thing on the planet. The guys at the convention with chicks have self confidence. The dont give a crap what others think of them and what they do. They do their thing and make their own way. If you see something you like go after it! Thats another form of self-confidence. TheRealCallie is correct. Stand tall..look people in the eye. Smile and say Hi to any female you see. Ask them out. Be prepared for rejection. Screw it..go to the next and the next. Eventually ....do it enough times she will say YES. Never be afraid of being told no. I mention to a buddy..theres a beautiful girl..im asking her out..hes says WHAT ARENT YOU AFRAID SHE WILL SAY NO! Hell no im not afraid of her saying no. I say ok take care and go to the next one. Ive been told no a gazillion times and will be told no another gazillion. But eventually...the right on will say yes.

 

[Menorahman]

If you are good looking, women will want you. If you aren't, they won't. That's really all there is to it, so if you haven't been successful with women, odds are you never will unless you lower your standards by a lot.

Some things aren't meant to be, and if you actually think about it rationally you will realize that this is a blessing in disguise.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

If you are good looking, women will want you. If you aren't, they won't. That's really all there is to it, so if you haven't been successful with women, odds are you never will unless you lower your standards by a lot.

Some things aren't meant to be, and if you actually think about it rationally you will realize that this is a blessing in disguise.

This is not quite true. Looks are important but not everything. Thats why you see guys that look like apes with good looking ladies. You can improve you looks only so far. Realize what you can change..and change it if you think you need to. Attitude is MUCH more important. self confidence is much more important than looks.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you are good looking, women will want you. If you aren't, they won't. That's really all there is to it, so if you haven't been successful with women, odds are you never will unless you lower your standards by a lot.

Some things aren't meant to be, and if you actually think about it rationally you will realize that this is a blessing in disguise.

This is not quite true. Looks are important but not everything. Thats why you see guys that look like apes with good looking ladies. You can improve you looks only so far. Realize what you can change..and change it if you think you need to. Attitude is MUCH more important. self confidence is much more important than looks.

Gotta agree with Forsaken Knight here. Looks are NOT everything. I've dated quite a few guys who most wouldn't say are good looking. Attraction is subjective to each individual, what is good looking to one may not be good looking to another.
Sometimes, good looks come with arrogance, as well. Sorry, but no, I'd rather have a kind less good looking guy than a good looking arrogant guy any day of the week.

 

[Menorahman]

If you are good looking, women will want you. If you aren't, they won't. That's really all there is to it, so if you haven't been successful with women, odds are you never will unless you lower your standards by a lot.

Some things aren't meant to be, and if you actually think about it rationally you will realize that this is a blessing in disguise.

This is not quite true. Looks are important but not everything. Thats why you see guys that look like apes with good looking ladies. You can improve you looks only so far. Realize what you can change..and change it if you think you need to. Attitude is MUCH more important. self confidence is much more important than looks.

You are deluding yourself. Looks are the most important factor in attraction, end of story. The whole confidence myth was spread around to sell PUA to guys like you.

 

[bd1974]

Menorahman is correct. It's all about attractiveness. If you are ugly, it doesn't matter how much confidence you have. Sometimes people get this wrong because attractive people ARE confident. So some women will lie and say it's the confidence that drew them in because it makes them look shallow otherwise. But make no mistake, women are very shallow.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I can't imagine being attracted to someone who tells me how I feel.

 

[kamya]

Menorahman is correct. It's all about attractiveness. If you are ugly, it doesn't matter how much confidence you have. Sometimes people get this wrong because attractive people ARE confident. So some women will lie and say it's the confidence that drew them in because it makes them look shallow otherwise. But make no mistake, women are very shallow.

Shh dun blame da wimmin. Its always the same. I think its a script women are taught in school. I present every rejection ever...

Its not that you are ugly. Theres just no chemistry mhmm. Didnt "click". Dont ask why. It makes me uncomfortable and i dont wanna hurt your feelings with the truth or look shallow so ill say i dont know. There's definitely nothing wrong with you or anything. Oh wait thisll help, its not you its me! You're a great guy! Besides im not ready for a relationship now anyways so i dont feel that way towards anyone. Its not just you.

I dont know what else to say so lemme hit you with a "You'll find someone some day." Help? Nah i didnt actually believe that. I just wanted to be nice.

Oh heres some help. Be confident! Be yourself! You look fiiiine its not that dun worry.

Btw you arent enititled to a relationship. Theres more to life than finding a relationship. I dont see the big deal. Even though i can get one at a moments notice and i have no idea what its like to live as an undesirable man.

(Some time later)
Oh hey look at this cute guy im crushing on/seeing.

... Nah, im not bitter.nope. not me.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I can't imagine being attracted to someone who tells me how I feel.

Well then, CLEARLY they aren't good looking, but no one good looking would ever even think about telling you how you feel. Also, good looking people are never ******** or abusive. They are perfect in EVERY way and we should bow down to them. How dare you think otherwise, Amy. :club:

 

[VanillaCreme]

I personally don't care how attractive someone is, or if he's confident or not even. If someone's a *******, I most likely wouldn't give a guy the time of day. Confidence doesn't mean *******. And being considered attractive doesn't mean much of anything either. To me, it's how you treat people, whether you're confident or not, attractive or not.

 

[Paraiyar]

This probably won't change anyone's mind but I'll say it anyway. I've always struggled with girls and felt shy around them. At some point during my trip overseas I decided I'd act confident around them and I really felt a change in their attitude towards me. I think if I could build that level of confidence up then life would be better.

This actually happened to my best friend. He used to be shy and never had much happen with girls until he joined the army. It made him really confident and now he does superwell with them. So it does make a huge difference in my opinion.

 

[bd1974]

The problem is, this is who I am. People say "just be confident" like you can just flip a switch. I've lived 41 years this way and I really don't think I'm that a bad of a person. Why can't women just accept men for who they are?

 

[kamya]

Because they dont have to. They might if you can provide some other resources that they cant get easily from somewhere else. But there are usually better options. They wont accept you for who you are if they arent interested in the first place. Even then the stereotype is they will still try to change you into someone else even once in a relationship.

There's a quote by some dood somewhere at some point in time that goes.

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."

**** if i know whether this **** is legit or not. Gimme a few lifetimes and ill let you know.

 

[Skid Row 89]

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed."

That quote is golden

 

[Paraiyar]

Why can't women just accept men for who they are?

A lot of physically unattractive women probably ask themselves the same question about men.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Why can't women just accept men for who they are?

A lot of physically unattractive women probably ask themselves the same question about men.

A lot of physically attractive women ask themselves that question too.

 

[Paraiyar]

Also bd1974, if it helps, I've started doing strength training over the last 4-5 months and I've found that it is starting to boost my confidence, not just due to the change in my appearance but because of the physiological affecta, i.e endorphines being pumped. Maybe this is what you need?

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

This probably won't change anyone's mind but I'll say it anyway. I've always struggled with girls and felt shy around them. At some point during my trip overseas I decided I'd act confident around them and I really felt a change in their attitude towards me. I think if I could build that level of confidence up then life would be better.

This actually happened to my best friend. He used to be shy and never had much happen with girls until he joined the army. It made him really confident and now he does superwell with them. So it does make a huge difference in my opinion.

yep seen it over and over.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Also bd1974, if it helps, I've started doing strength training over the last 4-5 months and I've found that it is starting to boost my confidence, not just due to the change in my appearance but because of the physiological affecta, i.e endorphines being pumped. Maybe this is what you need?

It increases endorphin's testosterone HGH and a host of other hormones. You lonely fellows out there seeking a lady just give it a shot..what do you have to loose but some fat?