If a guy has been called ugly by several women....

[Forgottendanfan]

and been called attractive maybe once or twice by women online....is it a pretty safe bet the guy is almost objectively considered ugly?

Asking for a friend (yes, me).

 

[ardour]

Most guys are considered ugly, or at least they are rated as such.

When I was younger - admittedly I dressed very badly and wore a hat everywhere - I was called gross a few times. I once heard a girl saying I was so ugly she wanted to kill me.

 

[user 115627]

It's your environment and your personal experience, so it's obviously not meaningless but objectively? If this was a study it would get binned for the small sample size.That aside, if the right person finds you subjectively attractive even if others rate you low, it shouldn't matter even if your past set a precedent to be cynical about future experiences. Of course talk is still cheap and if nothing follows from that either, it might as well be a lie, even if well-intentioned.

 

[MissBehave]

Why label yourself as either. 
Work on yourself and do what you can to have a body that's healthy and strong. 
I've always liked the Serenity Prayer. 

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

In the end you will always be seen as ugly or beautiful, just depends on who's looking.

 

[mgill]

never listen to what people say and instead observe what they actually do. attractiveness is a very transparent quality-if women are attracted to a man they will very clearly let it be know and the same is true if they are not attracted to him. failure with women is not about being ugly per say (although this is often the case) but just not being attractive (or tall) enough will very often mean a total lack of success in the modern dating market. currently, dating & relationships for even average men has proven to be extremely difficult at best. you may be very fortunate & find a one in a million unicorn but the odds are greatly against it and time is certainly not on your side.

please know that you are not alone and that there are many, many men in the same unenviable position, myself included of course. there is an excellent video series which examines the issues of female/male attraction in depth and which i think you may find highly enlightening. the facts discussed very likely will not make you feel any better about things but they will help you understand why things are like they are. in case you are interested, here is the first video and i would recommend watching them all if possible.

[youtube]6oz-tOcwlVs[/youtube]

 

[TheRealCallie]

These threads always annoy me.
Everyone is attractive to someone, whether for their looks or their personality. And YES people CAN be attracted to your personality when you aren't the hottest guy out there.
On the other hand, everyone is ugly to someone, whether for their looks or their personality. So yes, some people will find you "ugly" and some people will find you "attractive."
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And everyone beholds differently.

 

[Abstamyous]

I'm really sorry that this has been your experience, along with the experience of others. It feels very much like a "beat someone when they are down" kind of unnecessary act.

There's not much more that I can add. I don't think you should judge yourself based on others not finding you attractive. I know that sounds like ********, given what you have been through in your young life. I think life has removed a lot of truly ugly people out of your way.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Callie, if my thread annoyed you, there was no need for you to comment on it. It's really THAT simple. It seems to me, you have a problem with lonely males, and for someone who's obviously been through issues with loneliness yourself (by virtue of you being a member of this forum), I find it rather odd you don't show a little more understanding and respect. After all, we're all human beings here, going through our own ****.

 

[Lacrecia]

Pls. I'm no human. Let's not generalise.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Callie, if my thread annoyed you, there was no need for you to comment on it. It's really THAT simple. It seems to me, you have a problem with lonely males, and for someone who's obviously been through issues with loneliness yourself (by virtue of you being a member of this forum), I find it rather odd you don't show a little more understanding and respect. After all, we're all human beings here, going through our own ****.

And I find it odd that essentially the same post gets made over and over again and the people tell you the same thing over and over again, yet you don't believe us because women are horrible evil creatures out to make men's lives hell....at least those who aren't in the "top 20%" in attractiveness.

 

[ringwood]

Well, let's talk about the difference between objective and subjective first . . .

Anything objective sticks to the facts, but anything subjective has feelings. Objective and subjective are opposites. Objective: It is raining. Subjective: I love the rain!

So - you've been called ugly by several women and called attractive by one or two women online. All those opinions are purely based on feelings - subjective. As Callie pointed out, whether or not one is considered attractive is in the eye of the beholder. You might be considered the most gorgeous, drop-dead, handsome guy in the universe by almost everyone, but guaranteed someone out there will find you ugly. Same goes for being considered 'ugly'. 

I bet there's plenty of examples you can think of (honestly) where a person who's considered ugly by most, you consider attractive. . . and vice versa. Let's see, off the top of my head: Rowan Atkinson - many think he's completely unattractive; I would jump him in a second. Angelina Jolie - widely considered off-the-charts gorgeous, I think she's nasty and bony-looking. See? All subjective, all based on MY personal feelings. 

So - in answer to your question: is it a pretty safe bet the guy is objectively considered ugly? No. . . because all the opinions you've gotten are subjective and you can't objectively state as a fact that you are ugly, solely based on someone's subjective opinion of you. 

Got it?

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Callie, if my thread annoyed you, there was no need for you to comment on it. It's really THAT simple. It seems to me, you have a problem with lonely males, and for someone who's obviously been through issues with loneliness yourself (by virtue of you being a member of this forum), I find it rather odd you don't show a little more understanding and respect. After all, we're all human beings here, going through our own ****.

And I find it odd that essentially the same post gets made over and over again and the people tell you the same thing over and over again, yet you don't believe us because women are horrible evil creatures out to make men's lives hell....at least those who aren't in the "top 20%" in attractiveness.

Callie, you're quoting the words of others, not me. When have I ever said women are horrible, evil crestures? When have I ever talked about "top 20% attractiveness"? I think you're mistaking me for someone else.

Are you trying to suggest that all lonely, frustrated men are the same?

 

[user 115627]

And I find it odd that essentially the same post gets made over and over again and the people tell you the same thing over and over again, yet you don't believe us because women are horrible evil creatures out to make men's lives hell....at least those who aren't in the "top 20%" in attractiveness.

That's not true...obviously women are out to make men's lives hell regardless of attractiveness. *cough*

 

[SirPanda]

When I was maybe single digit age, around 7-9, can't remember specifically, but the Only time I ever got called ugly directly to me was by an obvious ugly girl. So it was clear why she wanted to make herself feel better to call someone else ugly. Because sadly she truly was. Both literally and figuratively. Pizza faced severely and even if she wasn't pizza faced it, her face was meh. So I get why she just randomly said that to me. Which is why I literally laughed it off. Even at that young age I knew why. And it stuck in my brain even after all these years. So just remember why someone calls you ugly and feels the need to actually say it out loud. They're the truly ugly one.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

It doesn't really count it you were 7-9 years old, as that's just kids being kids. I've been called ugly several times as an adult.

 

[Abstamyous]

It doesn't really count it you were 7-9 years old, as that's just kids being kids. I've been called ugly several times as an adult.

I think the overall point still holds true. A decent person isn't going to go out of their way to tell you that you are ugly, just because you aren't who they are attracted to. Anytime someone devalues you because you are not what they are looking for, is a reflection on them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Are you trying to suggest that all lonely, frustrated men are the same?

Nice try, but I never said that.

And I find it odd that essentially the same post gets made over and over again and the people tell you the same thing over and over again, yet you don't believe us because women are horrible evil creatures out to make men's lives hell....at least those who aren't in the "top 20%" in attractiveness.

That's not true...obviously women are out to make men's lives hell regardless of attractiveness. *cough*

Touche.  But in our defense, we also make other women's lives hell too.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

"Nice try, but I never said that"

Just as I never said any of the things you quoted me on.

 

[Zak]

"Nice try, but I never said that"

Just as I never said any of the things you quoted me on.

Hey. I thought that you were trying to get a date from this forum or something? Sorry, wasn't that you? I may have messed up my memory if it wasn't. So my point is, if you are trying to get a date, and then go around with negativity like "i am not dating material" (in short that's what you are on about right?), how is that going to work? I don't know. Will that work as reverse psychology?

I mean, from experience, if I go to a girl and say "hey, you give the vibe of a nice person. Im new here and trying to make some friends. wanna grab a coffee together? No romance, just a friendly coffee." I know this is probably cringy. But that's how I talk. I rarely get turned down.

Or

"Hey, Im Duke Landwalker. You look beautiful. Sorry, normally women just ignore me. Also, I think I am not a dating material because I think I am below average. It took some courage to talk to you. Do you mind going on a date with me?"

From my personal experience, women won't go for a date with the person in the second scenario. It is like asking a pity date. For all I know, they won't even go with the person who said the first part. But I think that one has a better chance to atleast grab a coffee together. This is subjective, meaning it is my experience and my perception. Like someone else pointed out. You need not listen to me. I'm just pointing out something that I thought of.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

"Nice try, but I never said that"

Just as I never said any of the things you quoted me on.

Hey. I thought that you were trying to get a date from this forum or something? Sorry, wasn't that you? I may have messed up my memory if it wasn't. So my point is, if you are trying to get a date, and then go around with negativity like "i am not dating material" (in short that's what you are on about right?), how is that going to work? I don't know. Will that work as reverse psychology?

I mean, from experience, if I go to a girl and say "hey, you give the vibe of a nice person. Im new here and trying to make some friends. wanna grab a coffee together? No romance, just a friendly coffee." I know this is probably cringy. But that's how I talk. I rarely get turned down.

Or

"Hey, Im Duke Landwalker. You look beautiful. Sorry, normally women just ignore me. Also, I think I am not a dating material because I think I am below average. It took some courage to talk to you. Do you mind going on a date with me?"

From my personal experience, women won't go for a date with the person in the second scenario. It is like asking a pity date. For all I know, they won't even go with the person who said the first part. But I think that one has a better chance to atleast grab a coffee together. This is subjective, meaning it is my experience and my perception. Like someone else pointed out. You need not listen to me. I'm just pointing out something that I thought of.

I don't think I'm ugly or unattractive. I'm just stating what others have said.