Morality of Cheating

[TheSolitaryMan]

I think a key issue here that hasn't been addressed is that different people provide different relationships, and are attractive for different reasons. This is another reason I think it's immoral to flirt with someone who's romantically engaged with another.

Take Girl A and Girl B.

Girl A is my current partner. I'm very happy with her, she's really pretty, sweet, caring, physically attractive - just pretty much perfect.

Girl B arrives. She is beautiful in a different way physically, engages with my sense of humour easily and has a feisty, confident personality.

Both Girl A and Girl B are highly attractive to me for different reasons. I'm perfectly happy with Girl A, but Girl B begins flirting with me.

Now, even though I'm perfectly happy with A, B provides something altogether different. I think this is where it becomes really unfair on the person in a relationship, because they're being put in a situation they should never really be in that's putting strain on their resolve to stay true to their partner.

This is why I think the argument that "if they flirt back they're not that happy in their relationship so it's okay" is erroneous. Someone may be very, very happy but simply allured by something different.

I'm not saying that person has no responsiblity - I firmly believe that I'd never be tempted to cheat, but other individuals who don't have that kind of self-control may be tempted to do something they really regret later.

If you're the one instigating that kind of emotional stress through your actions, I'd say you're mostly the one to blame.

 

[Equinox]

If my metaphor is wrong, then why do people say "I/he/she am/is married to my/his/her job"? Such a metaphor could not be valid or used. Yet it describes the kind of commitment someone has to their job.

Well ... I frequently say "I am married to my Xbox" ... And if I weren't happy with it, I wouldn't mind looking for something else (like a PS3, perhaps) before getting rid of it. That doesn't mean I would do the same with a relatinship.

Besides, many things can be an emotional experience; that doesn't automatically make it a relationship, either. I recently did lose my job, and I did feel betrayed, but not in a romantic way. It's not the same thing at all. It simply isn't.

But sure, you're entitled to think differently. I just feel sorry for your girlfriend the day you start dating other women and justify it by telling her "don't take it personal; it's just like a job".

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@TheSolitaryMan: Hmmm I am pretty sure the topic of innocent flirting was covered a while back. Having some kind of uncontrollable attraction to another is part of the human condition. Flirting is also something humans naturally do. I have innocently flirted with plenty of women, not knowing it till it is pointed out. It can stay innocent and sweet and fun. However, there are plenty of turning points when it stops being innocent and fun.

I can modify my statement to say that a person isn't satisfied with their current relationship. If you are tempted to pursue a new mate, then you cannot be 100% satisfied with your current relationship. Hell you cannot even be 50% satisfied. For there to be enough of a hole for you to consider cheating says to me you are in a relationship for the title. People who are truly satisfied in the relationships they are in don't second guess them. Yes they may feel the attraction but they can easily quiet it.

Though I do get what you are saying. The single person is in the wrong because he or she has little to lose. While the taken person has to determine if they are willing to take a gamble.



@Equinox: Disappointment is disappointment. Humans all know what that feeling is. It is only until we affix an adjective to it that we make it unique in anyway. Even then there are plenty of people who cannot affix unique conditions to negative emotions. Feeling sad is feeling sad. You can feel sad from losing a mate or losing a game. Just as you can feel happy from kissing another or playing a video game.

Well as I stand right now I have no interest in having a girlfriend. Plus if she does not ask for the title then I am not giving it to her. Even if she does ask for a title right now I would refuse her. That is a condition of my current goals. I cannot have a girlfriend till I am confident that having a mate is an optional thing for me. So until then I won't be doing any cheating

 

[IgnoredOne]

@Equinox: Ah yes much better was that so hard?

As for my metaphor, I will say I am willing to agree to disagree on it. Because having a job can be an emotional experience. Plenty of people can get emotionally attached to their job. Hence why workaholics tend to be happy without a mate. It is why people who love their jobs feel betrayed when they lose their job. Similar to how people feel betrayed when their mate leaves them. If my metaphor is wrong, then why do people say "I/he/she am/is married to my/his/her job"? Such a metaphor could not be valid or used. Yet it describes the kind of commitment someone has to their job.

Some people are, indeed, very dedicated to their job and it could be equated with a relationship. This is not usually normal, however, and a figure of speech does not make it so. Most people who are 'married to their job' do not gain the same degree of security, emotional support or understanding from their job. Workaholics, indeed, are considered by some to be unhealthy.

Your metaphor is essentially wrong; but more effectively wrong because it does not seem to model reality well enough for it to be useful. But I think you'll have to learn that for yourself eventually.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lmao....

girl A is stack...

Girl B is like spicy...

what you do is get girl A plus B togerther and have a feista

Itll be like having cake and eating her too.

2 chicks in 1 round

Cheating wouldnt be an issue.

Keep a openmind ..unlimited ideas, dude.lol

---

I met this chick just the other day..
We have something in commons...

So she invited me to attend one of those SA meeting. Imagine that. .lmao

So were both sharing why we both do what we gatta do....why we gatta **** like rabbits 24/7 to escape the pains of guilt, shame, abused..etc.
Sex release natural endorpahe to the brain. Being in Love with love dose the samething. Its like a major rush and high. Worst than drugs and is very addictive.

Then a fucken dude that never been on a date or had a GF started talking...
I was lke errr WTF????
Wrong meeting dude. Lmao

yes..yes that hope of meeting a hot chick thatll take him home to **** the living **** out of him...
U gatta give him credit for that.lol

---

So this one lady started sharing how she felt remose for not making peace with her husband before he died...After his death...she totally just went at it with whomever to ecaspe her remose.

That made me felt like ****..cuase I had lots of remose after Jenni's death.

Then my friend started talking about all her pains. Life on lifes terms..No matter how good she tired...life is unfiar.

Shes feeling like ****...
Im feeling like crap...
We're like **** this ****...
.
We both got the **** out and left everybody in the fucken meeting to have an orgy.lmao

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Cheatiing becomes an endless cycle that feeds on itself.....

The more you cheat...the more you feel like crap..The more you feel like crap.
The more you wanna **** **** ****..

The more society judges and comdem cheaters with guilt and shame.
The more cheaters cheat and **** ****.

Addiction is also know for denial and justifications.. Addictions also feeds on guilt and shame...

Most addicts are overwhelm with the sense of impending doom or going to hell becuase of the guilt and shame

---

Workaholics , over eater, shopaholics vedio games junkies basically go thrugh the samething...

To eascape negative feeings or numb out

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@IgnoredOne: So you are saying that people who have a significant other of some kind have, security, emotional support, and understanding? Regardless each term you threw out is a relative term. Security is a good example. To be secure is to be safe. If a person feels safe in their job they have security. A person can get emotional support from a job as well. In the end, all that is needed is support through difficult times. I would argue that a rewarding job is just as good as a significant other. Work can be a good place to receive positive reinforcement. You can take pride in what you do and raise your self-esteem. You can get understanding from anything. All understanding requires is something not reacting to any thing you do that might seem odd.

We like to believe that these things can only come from certain situations. However, they can come from anything, if you want too. I have received plenty of the three things you listed from my job.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Everyone feel insecurities at one time or another. Having a relationship with your work
is like having a relationship with a fucken blow up doll. A substitution of sort.
Kind da like having a relationship with GOD...
Work or god is all fine and dandie...but I personally like skin to skin.

Everyone have there own reasons to get into a relationship.
Poeple that cheat have thier own reasons. The thrill of the hunt, the exitment of doing something wrong. The dramma...etc..etc

We're driven by our body chemicles or our emotions than we like to admit.

 

[Equinox]

Your metaphor is essentially wrong; but more effectively wrong because it does not seem to model reality well enough for it to be useful. But I think you'll have to learn that for yourself eventually.

I think this pretty much sums it up. I'm gonna keep quoting this for as long as it takes.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

MODEL...Reality??

This would the fucken Nail...
The thing of it is...everyone have different perceptions of life ( reality)
Everyone process life or informations
differently...this is ture reaity.

How many of you are SUPER MODELS?
How many times and times again...
even on Looks/apperence level people get all wacked or have selfesteem level
becuase they dont look like that model...

morals, values are MODELS ideas of whomever the **** thinks a perfect
soceity should be like...its not reality.
Its just an idea or concept.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, this depends on each persons own perception of what they deem to be right or wrong. Like you said here

My personal beliefs are that as long as I am single I am not wrong for trying to woo any mate, regardless of her martial status

I completely disagree with you. To me it doesn't matter if you are single, if you woo a person who is in a relationship (even worse married) then you too are in the wrong. Think about it this way, you are that other person in a relationship, your mate is being woo'd by another person, how would that make you feel? To me if you are involved with a person that you care about, and are considering a relationship with a title does not matter. You don't start wooing another person, it's just inconsiderate of the other persons feelings that are involved.

I agree, Sci-Fi. It doesn't matter if one person is single. Both parties are wrong for it. There is no morality in cheating, and if someone's poor excuse is, "Hey, I'm single. It's not my fault," then I think they're pathetic. Perhaps if they found their own relationship and stopped trying to butt into another relationship, they'd realize that.

 

[blackhole]

it's wrong to break things

especially other people's things

lol, i've said this before in this thread,

just wanted to say it again

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

There is no morality in cheating. Only vain justification.

---

it's wrong to break things

especially other people's things

lol, i've said this before in this thread,

just wanted to say it again

Well said, plain and simple.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@blackhole: The question is when is something actually broken? Does holding something together with tape make it any less broken?

@Equinox: So.... if we go off of what is a model of reality. Those who are rich and famous are overall better than you or I? After all, they have more money and more power than you or I. So they should be allowed to treat the commoners like garbage right? This is a common model we see throughout history. Those who are in the ruling class or in a highly visible class. Often times treat people who are in the lower classes like worthless cogs. So therefore they are not wrong? After all, they have earned it in some respect. Whether they built themselves up from the ground or had to inherit said duties from the previous generation. They have the power and influence therefore they are better and should be treated as such?

Oh I also thought of another question. If marriage are purely emotional things. Why is there such a concept as a divorce battle? Why do people fight over possessions from something that was purely an emotional experience. Even better why is there such a thing as alimony? What about credit scores? Your personal credit score is affected by your chosen mates. Explain to me gold diggers and sugar babies. Regardless of how you view those kinds of relationships, they are still relationships. Who is to say that there is no love in them? If a relationship is a purely emotional thing, then why do all these kinds of issues exist? After all, following your model of reality. Relationships are purely emotional. Materials such as money and possessions should not be a part of them right?

You seem to have some insight into the universal truths of existence please fill me in. Then again I am pretty sure you have given up on this thread.

 

[blackhole]

a friend of mine (we'll call him vern...well..because his name WAS vern) was stabbed to death about three years ago while ******* another man's wife.

was vern wrong?

does it matter?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@blackhole: Not the question I asked.

 

[blackhole]

who are we to judge what is or isn't beautiful? maybe some day a taped together vase will be a cherished antique.

follow?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it's wrong to break things

especially other people's things

lol, i've said this before in this thread,

just wanted to say it again

what if a person just likes to break things..especailly
other people's things ?

Its not nice but I've read about life being unfair and all that
good ****.

So to keep the universal truth of life is unfair to everyone.
And life didnt single out anyone with it's unfairness.
Someone has to do the job of breaking other people's ****. Lmao

Did is brust your fucken bubble?
Thats like the same as breaking your ****...NO? lol

Its like. I lost my job becuase of no fualt of my own. The economy went bad...
Why? because jobs got exported over sea for cheaper labor.
Well...**** me. Thats like breaking my ****...my lively hood.
Its totally cheating to fucken system. But who gives a ****.
Life is unfair....
Then it cause stress and strains in the family...mother fucken end arnt meeting.
Couples fight and argue..sometime deviorce. Sometimes cheat.
Sometimes they lose everything not by fualts of thier own.

Everyone has a breaking piont. ******* your ex boss wife
or some stupid *** rich cats doing the ****** up unfair bussiness is just keeping thing in balance?LOL
Becareful when you break my ****...I guess. Pay back is a mother fucken *****?

 

[Badjedidude]

what if a person just likes to break things..especailly
other people's things ?

What if a person likes to **** other people's children.

Are you implying that this is OK? Just because it would be unfait to stop the person from raping babies?

That's kinda dumb.

Someone has to ******* STOP people who enjoy breaking things.

And I don't give a **** if that's unfair to them or not. They can eat my ****.

 

[blackhole]

what if a person just likes to break things..especailly
other people's things ?

What if a person likes to **** other people's children.

Are you implying that this is OK? Just because it would be unfait to stop the person from raping babies?

That's kinda dumb.

Someone has to ******* STOP people who enjoy breaking things.

And I don't give a **** if that's unfair to them or not. They can eat my ****.

Agreed