Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

We could turn this around and ask whether it matters to you and whether a blue collar tradesman would be good enough.

Not to get all trite with the evo psych, but they'll be a different answer because our 'strategy' for finding a partner is different. Higher education (used) to indicate social status and a professional occupation, and social status is important for men, at least as much as earning potential.

You know, I think maybe where I become a little confused is the "good enough" terminology. Just because a working class man who earns what I consider to be the price of one handbag a month or even 2 months wouldn't be suitable for me and my desired lifestyle doesn't mean he is not "good enough". It means we aren't compatible. To be honest, my older sister dates men like that, she pretends she's poor to keep them, she has to, they almost have heart attacks when she goes shopping, they do not like it. She has to live a completely different lifestyle to make it work. She complains sometimes that she wishes she could just wake up one day with plane tickets on her pillow and told she has 30 mins to pack... but alas..

I also really agree, the reflection of degrees has deffo changed and social status is important, I think in my opinion, it's important "for" men but important "to" women (on a majority scale not every one in existence).

 

[ardour]

Hmm do you believe... in complimentary dating? Like, your short comings could be her strengths and vice versa?

Complimenting individual personality types, sure.

 

[ardour]

You know, I think maybe where I become a little confused is the "good enough" terminology. Just because a working class man who earns what I consider to be the price of one handbag a month or even 2 months wouldn't be suitable for me and my desired lifestyle doesn't mean he is not "good enough". It means we aren't compatible. To be honest, my older sister dates men like that, she pretends she's poor to keep them, she has to, they almost have heart attacks when she goes shopping, they do not like it. She has to live a completely different lifestyle to make it work. She complains sometimes that she wishes she could just wake up one day with plane tickets on her pillow and told she has 30 mins to pack... but alas..

You have got to be joking with this. Let's just say you're being serious, what is it that makes you compatible with a high flyer? Clearly not emotional support since you're averse to giving that. Raising his kids? He can do that with any woman who wants kids. You've undersold yourself, not just the men you're dismissing.

I don't know what to say. Wowsies..

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You have got to be joking with this. Let's just say you're being serious, what is it that makes you compatible with a high flyer? Clearly not emotional support since you're averse to giving that. Raising his kids? He can do that with any woman (who wants kids). You've undersold yourself, not just the men you're dismissing.

I don't know what to say. Wowsies..

Truthfully, it's all I've ever known, I don't really know anything else. What house would we live in, mine? If I decided to go 50/50 could he afford to split bills with me? Could he afford 50% of my lifestyle? If I spend on handbags what he earns. I am not dismissing men, Im dismissing the idea that I can live the lifestyle I want with a man who cant afford it.

Edit: I do want to make it clear though, as sometimes I can be triggering without meaning to. I think men who have minimum income or even no income are "good enough" for anyone. I just think there are desires they cannot fulfil as their financial backing will not allow it. On here, I only rant about my bad points, but I do have some good ones lol im not all bad, I do not struggle to attract the type of man I want, so I am a woman of value to them.

I will ask my fella why he wants me and not some other woman and see what he says lol He will probably say because I am insane and won't let him be with any other women Jokes aside, I just wanna make it clear im not trying to upset anyone, I've even started disclaimers despite hating them to hopefully reduce the offence I cause.

 

[Colster]

Okay Okay I wonder what men have to say to this one... Just your personal perspectives, no need to try and answer for the whole species lol.

My research has led me to a bit of a grey area, since a young age, I have always stereotyped men to be attracted to "idiots" I can hear the girls pretending to be dumb in class to impress the guys as I type this. This leads me to my next question fellas! How do you feel about women with degrees? I have been looking deeper into this area of the dating world. Are women in education adding value in your opinion? Or truthfully do you have a preference for air heads?

I'm all for an intelligent woman, even better if she has her own opinions and a sense of humour. That sounds like a dating tag line, but true nonetheless. That aside, why date dumb, what do you talk about, what common interests do you share. Lust only ever lasts so far.

 

[ardour]

Truthfully, it's all I've ever known, I don't really know anything else. What house would we live in, mine? If I decided to go 50/50 could he afford to split bills with me? Could he afford 50% of my lifestyle? If I spend on handbags what he earns. I am not dismissing men, Im dismissing the idea that I can live the lifestyle I want with a man who cant afford it.

Edit: I do want to make it clear though, as sometimes I can be triggering without meaning to. I think men who have minimum income or even no income are "good enough" for anyone. I just think there are desires they cannot fulfil as their financial backing will not allow it. On here, I only rant about my bad points, but I do have some good ones lol im not all bad, I do not struggle to attract the type of man I want, so I am a woman of value to them.

I will ask my fella why he wants me and not some other woman and see what he says lol He will probably say because I am insane and won't let him be with any other women Jokes aside, I just wanna make it clear im not trying to upset anyone, I've even started disclaimers despite hating them to hopefully reduce the offence I cause.

Too bad Silvio Berlusconi already found himself a new wife. You just missed out there. Te he... no offence.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'm all for an intelligent woman, even better if she has her own opinions and a sense of humour. That sounds like a dating tag line, but true nonetheless. That aside, why date dumb, what do you talk about, what common interests do you share. Just only ever lasts so far.

Oooh I like!!

Too bad Silvio Berlusconi already found himself a new wife. You just missed out there. Te he... no offence.

Lool I dont even know who he is so none taken.

 

[sparkyn98]

We could turn this around and ask whether it matters to you and whether a blue collar tradesman would be good enough.

Not to get all trite with the evo psych, but they'll be a different answer because our 'strategy' for finding a partner is different. Higher education (used) to indicate social status and a professional occupation, and social status is important for men, at least as much as earning potential.

I've dated plenty blue collar workers. My husband and I met in the AF. He was a jet engine mechanic. We weren't rich for years, by any means, except in family. LOL
Now.... give me a grease monkey who also reads and likes to play music loudly while doing house chores and I'd marry him over and over! LOLolol

 

[user 139760]

You know, I think maybe where I become a little confused is the "good enough" terminology. Just because a working class man who earns what I consider to be the price of one handbag a month or even 2 months wouldn't be suitable for me and my desired lifestyle doesn't mean he is not "good enough". It means we aren't compatible. To be honest, my older sister dates men like that, she pretends she's poor to keep them, she has to, they almost have heart attacks when she goes shopping, they do not like it. She has to live a completely different lifestyle to make it work. She complains sometimes that she wishes she could just wake up one day with plane tickets on her pillow and told she has 30 mins to pack... but alas..

I also really agree, the reflection of degrees has deffo changed and social status is important, I think in my opinion, it's important "for" men but important "to" women (on a majority scale not every one in existence).

That begs another question, however. ; is your lifestyle good?
Of course it's stereotypical in many ways, however the "high rolling" lifestyle has, for obvious reasons, been associated with the development of negative traits. Vanity, vainness,egotism, selfishness, a slew of others, often times oblivious to those who develop them. To demonstrate, I used to date a rather psychotic, gorgeous girl who'd throw me fits and say "I'm a girl that needs 200 dollars worth of makeup every week if you want to keep me". Arrogant, artificial, vain, petty. Well, 20 years latter, she's about 100 pounds heavier, doesnt look like a model anymore, has a daughter, is as broke as an old Ford...and is happier than ever.

Maybe reflect on the importance of social status some more. Somewhere along the way, say in three decades, you might realise you didn't think it through enough. Maybe that 400 quib handbag is nice, but maybe you'll realise you don't need it, or want it, someday, and that the person allowing you to have the money for it isn't all you wanted as a travelling companion. Food for thought.

As for intelligence vs stupidity, it is irrelevant, except to those who make it matter. But, most people wouldnt recognise intelligence if it sat down in front of them and explained how to think. My father is an extremely intelligent man. My mother is a stereotypical "dumb blonde". They've been married 43 years.
It's only an issue if someone feels it should be one.

 

[user 139760]

I have a question for the men, specifically for British men. Actually, it's not really a question, but I feel it should be asked and left here for posterity, because it feels obligatory, something that SHOULD be asked and never really answered, but viewed by all and remembered fondly...


....are you The Doctor?

 

[Colster]

Who.

 

[user 135671]

I'm from the South of England, you have to be a bloody Northerner or Scottish to play the Doctor

 

[Colster]

Trying to imagine Danny Dyer busting through the Tardis, and screaming "You slag".

 

[user 135671]

" I'll tell you what, pal, you talk to me like that again and you're gonna get a dry slap. "

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That begs another question, however. ; is your lifestyle good?
Of course it's stereotypical in many ways, however the "high rolling" lifestyle has, for obvious reasons, been associated with the development of negative traits. Vanity, vainness,egotism, selfishness, a slew of others, often times oblivious to those who develop them. To demonstrate, I used to date a rather psychotic, gorgeous girl who'd throw me fits and say "I'm a girl that needs 200 dollars worth of makeup every week if you want to keep me". Arrogant, artificial, vain, petty. Well, 20 years latter, she's about 100 pounds heavier, doesnt look like a model anymore, has a daughter, is as broke as an old Ford...and is happier than ever.

Maybe reflect on the importance of social status some more. Somewhere along the way, say in three decades, you might realise you didn't think it through enough. Maybe that 400 quib handbag is nice, but maybe you'll realise you don't need it, or want it, someday, and that the person allowing you to have the money for it isn't all you wanted as a travelling companion. Food for thought.

As for intelligence vs stupidity, it is irrelevant, except to those who make it matter. But, most people wouldnt recognise intelligence if it sat down in front of them and explained how to think. My father is an extremely intelligent man. My mother is a stereotypical "dumb blonde". They've been married 43 years.
It's only an issue if someone feels it should be one.

Hmm, I'm very lucky that I have always remained grounded in my lifestyle. I appreciate what I have and who I want to be. I know some women like the ones you speak of, in fact a large part of my social group and my mother's is like that. Truthfully, some people in certain social standings can be jerks, however, I know stuck up arrogant people from all backgrounds lol.

I'd never be happier heavier, happier as a mother though! Deffo my dream, hope im a woman that can snap back... or... my husband will have to pay big bucks to repair the damage lol jokes aside.

My social status is not the most important thing to me, for me, it's important for my children, I want them to live the same lifestyle I do... I cant really hope for anything else.

Lol I love that, my parents were exactly the same! I'm bloody stupid myself but, I deffo hope that doesn't affect my desirability by much lol.

 

[Colster]

Hmm, I'm very lucky that I have always remained grounded in my lifestyle. I appreciate what I have and who I want to be. I know some women like the ones you speak of, in fact a large part of my social group and my mother's is like that. Truthfully, some people in certain social standings can be jerks, however, I know stuck up arrogant people from all backgrounds lol.

I'd never be happier heavier, happier as a mother though! Deffo my dream, hope im a woman that can snap back... or... my husband will have to pay big bucks to repair the damage lol jokes aside.

My social status is not the most important thing to me, for me, it's important for my children, I want them to live the same lifestyle I do... I cant really hope for anything else.

Lol I love that, my parents were exactly the same! I'm bloody stupid myself but, I deffo hope that doesn't affect my desirability by much lol.

Humm...

All I ever cared about was my kid was educated and well mannered. Money or status, never came into it. Love is too precious thing to hold off for a cliché or a man of a certain status.

I do apologise for having mentioning this before, but I see so many of the ladies in my neighbourhood, the 4x4's, but also the single ladies without children. Many if them are seeking this cliché character. Anyone within close proximity is almost fought over.

Surely happiness comes first. A safe loving home must be preferential to possessions. Just as, what's the point in young handsome partner, if you have nothing you can share or discuss.

I had high hopes for my daughter. Technically, she has the intelligence to become a fine doctor. Sadly, her disabilities make her insular and distant, so that dream is over. As a father, I hope she marries well, if that's her desire. But, if she came home with the bin man, and she is happy, then so be it.

Money and material things, they aren't important when looking back upon a well lived life. Love and laughter, try buying those.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Humm...

All I ever cared about was my kid was educated and well mannered. Money or status, never came into it. Love is too precious thing to hold off for a cliché or a man of a certain status.

I do apologise for having mentioning this before, but I see so many of the ladies in my neighbourhood, the 4x4's, but also the single ladies without children. Many if them are seeking this cliché character. Anyone within close proximity is almost fought over.

Surely happiness comes first. A safe loving home must be preferential to possessions. Just as, what's the point in young handsome partner, if you have nothing you can share or discuss.

I had high hopes for my daughter. Technically, she has the intelligence to become a fine doctor. Sadly, her disabilities make her insular and distant, so that dream is over. As a father, I hope she marries well, if that's her desire. But, if she came home with the bin man, and she is happy, then so be it.

Money and material things, they aren't important when looking back upon a well lived life. Love and laughter, try buying those.

I can tell you are a caring and very proud father. I really admire that.

I hope when I have my children I can offer them everything I have and more. Most important thing I hope to offer them though...is a mothers love as I lacked that as a child, and even now to be fair. That's why being present in my fellas daughters life has always taken a priority despite what everyone else said to me about it.

Awh thats sweet, it's so nice you are way more approving than my father ever was, I have a whole list of, do not even look at ... let alone bring home

 

[user 139760]

Humm...

All I ever cared about was my kid was educated and well mannered. Money or status, never came into it. Love is too precious thing to hold off for a cliché or a man of a certain status.

I do apologise for having mentioning this before, but I see so many of the ladies in my neighbourhood, the 4x4's, but also the single ladies without children. Many if them are seeking this cliché character. Anyone within close proximity is almost fought over.

Surely happiness comes first. A safe loving home must be preferential to possessions. Just as, what's the point in young handsome partner, if you have nothing you can share or discuss.

I had high hopes for my daughter. Technically, she has the intelligence to become a fine doctor. Sadly, her disabilities make her insular and distant, so that dream is over. As a father, I hope she marries well, if that's her desire. But, if she came home with the bin man, and she is happy, then so be it.

Money and material things, they aren't important when looking back upon a well lived life. Love and laughter, try buying those.

Garbage men are really well paid in Quebec. I don't know about the Isles, but she could do worse lol.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Garbage men are really well paid in Quebec. I don't know about the Isles, but she could do worse lol.

Sorry, are you implying... that the "less" a man earns... the "worse" he is?

okay okay I won't... im sorry.. I'll be quiet lol. Only playing

 

[user 139760]

Sorry, are you implying... that the "less" a man earns... the "worse" he is?

okay okay I won't... im sorry.. I'll be quiet lol. Only playing

Well, actually Colster implied it, in the bin man comment, I was actually implying foreign bin men werent a bad choice. That being said, feel free to encourage your kids to come back with the localtown drunk if you wish.
I personally don't care who or what my daughters date, except one rule; if I see bruises or marks appear, either on them or their partners, if they don't end it, I WILL. The rest is their business.