No,people can't help how they feel,if they told me how they felt and I told them that I saw them as just a friend and I never saw them in that way and they still pushed for more that would be different.
Questions for the Women
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kamya
Well-known member
Gonna continue with the same line of questions. How would you feel if he cut contact afterwards? Just for his own good. Not to be mean or anything.
Would some even prefer it be that way?
Would some even prefer it be that way?
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
kamya said:
That'd be fine with me. Do what you feel like you have to do. I'd feel a bit sad for losing a friend, especially if we were really close as friends. But I'd never want him in a situation - talking to me, being around me, whatever else - if he just wasn't comfortable. And it is preventable by just not being around.
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Veruca
Guest
kamya said:
What VanillaCreme said. Id be sad to lose a close friend but id rather he be happy. Its bad enough to have your feelings unreciprocated but aometimes it can be worse to face the person repeatedly after that.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
I would be crushed, and hope that maybe in the future we could be friends again. But I would want him happy above all.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
LiLeila said:
I believe in them. Most of my friendships are with males. I feel communication and personal boundaries are important in all friendships, maybe more so in this case.
Also note, I do a lot of friendly flirting :club:
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
LiLeila said:
Yes, very much so. I know many people would think otherwise, and I've actually heard people say that male-female friendships only exist because they couldn't find a way to be together. But I don't believe in that. At all. I have quite a few guy friends that I would never, ever take to any other level. Been friends for years, and that's how it's going to stay. I know they've never looked at me in any other type of way, and I appreciate that. Flirting does not occur during any time.
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Veruca
Guest
I have quite a number of guy friends. Most are not single and its all very platonic. No flirting.
As for single friends, its been complicated. I only had one good single guy friend who remained a platonic friend. As for the rest, most of the time one party or both of us end up developing feelings for each other. But we usually choose to not do anything about it because we know we arent compatible. Sometimes we continue being friends, other times we split.
But I do believe in male-female friendship. You never know where its going to head but its great to have guy friends. Guys can be awesome (when they're not being gross
)
As for single friends, its been complicated. I only had one good single guy friend who remained a platonic friend. As for the rest, most of the time one party or both of us end up developing feelings for each other. But we usually choose to not do anything about it because we know we arent compatible. Sometimes we continue being friends, other times we split.
But I do believe in male-female friendship. You never know where its going to head but its great to have guy friends. Guys can be awesome (when they're not being gross
)
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Veruca
Guest
I have quite a number of guy friends. Most are not single and its all very platonic. No flirting.
As for single friends, its been complicated. I only had one good single guy friend who remained a platonic friend. As for the rest, most of the time one party or both of us end up developing feelings for each other. But we usually choose to not do anything about it because we know we arent compatible. Sometimes we continue being friends, other times we split.
But I do believe in male-female friendship. You never know where its going to head but its great to have guy friends. Guys are awesome (when they're not being gross)
As for single friends, its been complicated. I only had one good single guy friend who remained a platonic friend. As for the rest, most of the time one party or both of us end up developing feelings for each other. But we usually choose to not do anything about it because we know we arent compatible. Sometimes we continue being friends, other times we split.
But I do believe in male-female friendship. You never know where its going to head but its great to have guy friends. Guys are awesome (when they're not being gross
)I always hang out with guys, I don't get women world at all. I have a men mind I think. But everytime there was some issues not only on my side. If I'd be a single I'd probably not care but it's so uncomfortable when I am in a realationship. These aren't big things maybe but still I find it bad and it makes me sad becouse I like them. Hard to find an example but you know, something like coquetry, perverted jokes, trying to look cute... I realized that I am giving men the "signs" - unconsciously. I don't know, maybe I making up this and it's normal behavior. I always believe in any kind of friendship but today... I don't :c
So what is the difference to you?AmytheTemperamental said:
That may be the key I think.Veruca said:
Gross is nice xdVeruca said:
mintymint
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I was reading this little article the other day. The title is a bit misleading; it's more about the disparity between how men and women view opposite sex friendships. Just some food for thought.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
LiLeila said:
Yes I believe in such a friendship. A few of my closest friends are males, some single, some not, and they're all platonic.
Edit: Also to mention, some of these close friends have lasted me more than a year's worth of friendship too.
mintymint said:
That's interesting, thanks for sharing that. Now I wonder how the responses will be like if this question was posed in the Questions for the Men thread.
Nice to hear that you have boys friends and it's working. Once I had a friend for almost 4 years and I was sure this is platonic and then, one day... puff. Another time it was something like 2-3 years and it also starting be strange. I thought these were just a meetings but probably he thought that we're dating. And so on...
Pretty obvious but true, I don't thinking about that much. Thanks.mintymint said:
I think I should checkladyforsaken said:
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
LiLeila said:
That is strange, indeed. I guess it's inevitable for people to develop feelings over time, even if there were none at first. I don't know, emotions and feelings are rather tricky things. Fortunately, I can manage to have it under control for the time being.
The only thing I would hope for is not to lose any good friendships because of such feelings cos I've had that happen once and, it's sad to lose a really good friend over something you barely have much control over such. Though I do realise how much things can change after someone confesses.
kamya
Well-known member
For women if you were to suddenly offer sex or a relationship one day would they take it? Would you still consider it platonic knowing that?
For guys. If your platonic friends offered these things would you take them up on it? Are you being delusional when you call them platonic friends?
I posted on both threads since this was asked in both.
For guys. If your platonic friends offered these things would you take them up on it? Are you being delusional when you call them platonic friends?
I posted on both threads since this was asked in both.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I have guys friends.
I've always been more comfortable with guys than girls, because let's face it girls are...mostly....whiny drama filled *******. lol
That said, I do flirt, always have, with both men AND women, but I always make sure they know it's just who I am, that it doesn't mean I'm interested or want more. I don't think I've ever had any real problem in that department, though.
I've always been more comfortable with guys than girls, because let's face it girls are...mostly....whiny drama filled *******. lol
That said, I do flirt, always have, with both men AND women, but I always make sure they know it's just who I am, that it doesn't mean I'm interested or want more. I don't think I've ever had any real problem in that department, though.
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AmytheTemperamental
Guest
TheRealCallie said:
^This describes my "friendly flirting" perfectly.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
kamya said:
You mean if we were offered sex or relationship just for one day?
For someone like me, I think it would be hard because I've learned about myself, that if I cross over that boundary and get intimate with someone or close enough that's relationship-like close... I might get attached and that's not good. I wouldn't risk it.
At the same time, I really feel like I want to save all my intimacies and stuff for the special one. Say if I ever feel again in this area, and I find someone... I don't want to look back and feel badly because intimacy to me is supposed to be for that someone special. Otherwise, it kinda loses its meaning.
I may have thought differently when I was younger but as I get older, I am more firm and set on what I want and what I don't want.
It's also different if it's used in humour with friends... cos I would only do this with people I know who can take it and who knows where we each stand with each other despite any sexual jokes thrown about whatsoever.
