Questions for the Women

[lonelypanda]

Hey thanks...you sound pretty awesome yourself! You're speaking my language. My old toys from childhood make up the bulk of my collection, but I've added a few new things and plan to add some more. My main toy focus right now would be Transformers Beast Wars figures...next year marks 20 years since Beast Wars was on and I want to collect the show characters before they get too pricey. Plus the new ones they came out with are so detailed, I can't resist

For Halo, do you mean the Megabloks sets? I've seen those before and they look pretty cool. I read an article recently about Megabloks vs Legos and they say that they're both pretty much even now, and interchangeable. LEGO pieces have more versatility but Megabloks has more detail and more unique pieces, like all the Halo weapons and stuff.

And the AT-AT looks sweet too, so many little LEGO people and even a speeder bike. My brothers and I have the first LEGO Millennium Falcon from way back in 2000, but it's fallen into disrepair so I have to put it back together again. I'm guessing the one you want is the collector one though...I've seen that one go for $7-$10K online, it's insane! You could get a real-life car for that, and in some cases a nice one too. But yeah...I want to build up all our old LEGOs again someday. I too have a problem with space and I wish I could have a toy room as well.

What's a beany boo? Is that like beanie babies? We have some of those too, and I'm keeping those as well. They fall under my "miscellaneous creatures", could be real-life animals or made-up ones like dragons.

Anyway. Always nice to meet a fellow collector

Ahhh beast wars, me and my sister were obsessed. I didnt know they had new ones, is beast wars still on TV ? Is it like ninja turtles how nickelodeon has the new ones for this generation of kidlets? I don't really like those ones though, im all about the old cartoons, although I have pj's that are the nickelodeon tmnt. I bought them in the kids section, size L for boys and it fit me haha

I don't want the collector one, well if I was a millionaire I wouldn't be opposed to owning one. I just mean the one thats like 200 bucks is alot of money to me. It's hard for me to justify big spends recently since I've started hard saving. The halo sets are Megabloks, thats the only megabloks ill buy, i prefer lego, I'm pretty brand loyal. I grew up with lego and duplos, do they even still make duplos? You know whats weird is halo has always been on platforms I don't use. I bought an Xbox just for halo even though ive always preferred PS over Xbox. I still have my old Xbox too, wish I had my super Nintendo I'm getting off topic sorry haha my mind just jumps from one thing to the next. The beany boos are like the new generation of beany babies. They have big sparkly eyes, me and my little one both collect them.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi SkaFish,
The Enchanted Forest coloring book I believe was specifically drawn for adults. There are no Disney princesses or smiling teddy bears in there, it's more adult-oriented. The pages are artfully drawn and the book is made of high-quality, thick paper. I have colored pencils and fine-tip markers, I'm not sure crayons would work very well on some of the drawings. I bought one for myself and since I knew my daughter would also want to color in it, I got her one as well so I could have one all to myself
I went to a major-chain bookstore today and there was a huge display near the front dedicated to adult coloring books. So I'm guessing it's trendy now - who knew?

-Teresa

 

[kamya]

Hi SkaFish,
The Enchanted Forest coloring book I believe was specifically drawn for adults. There are no Disney princesses or smiling teddy bears in there, it's more adult-oriented. The pages are artfully drawn and the book is made of high-quality, thick paper. I have colored pencils and fine-tip markers, I'm not sure crayons would work very well on some of the drawings. I bought one for myself and since I knew my daughter would also want to color in it, I got her one as well so I could have one all to myself
I went to a major-chain bookstore today and there was a huge display near the front dedicated to adult coloring books. So I'm guessing it's trendy now - who knew?

-Teresa

It is becoming a trend. Even at Walmart I found whole displays of adult coloring books. And they all look really amazing. I'm tempted to get one called animorphia.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Ahhh beast wars, me and my sister were obsessed. I didnt know they had new ones, is beast wars still on TV ? Is it like ninja turtles how nickelodeon has the new ones for this generation of kidlets? I don't really like those ones though, im all about the old cartoons, although I have pj's that are the nickelodeon tmnt. I bought them in the kids section, size L for boys and it fit me haha

Oh no way, you were into it too! They don't have new Beast Wars shows, though they do have Transformers shows - but it's probably like you said, for this generation of kids. I too am all about the old Transformers. No, they don't have a new Beast Wars show but they do have updated figures with more correct sizes and looks.

And just like you and the Turtles, I have a couple Transformers shirts too! I'm still a kid at heart.

I don't want the collector one, well if I was a millionaire I wouldn't be opposed to owning one. I just mean the one thats like 200 bucks is alot of money to me. It's hard for me to justify big spends recently since I've started hard saving. The halo sets are Megabloks, thats the only megabloks ill buy, i prefer lego, I'm pretty brand loyal. I grew up with lego and duplos, do they even still make duplos? You know whats weird is halo has always been on platforms I don't use. I bought an Xbox just for halo even though ive always preferred PS over Xbox. I still have my old Xbox too, wish I had my super Nintendo I'm getting off topic sorry haha my mind just jumps from one thing to the next. The beany boos are like the new generation of beany babies. They have big sparkly eyes, me and my little one both collect them.

Yeah that would be a lot of money for me as well. But they just keep making more and more detailed updates....I can't say it won't be tempting some day. I figure people spend money on way worse things than toys.

We were pretty loyal to LEGO as well, but my brothers had some neat Megabloks sets around a dragon theme. The dragons are pretty huge, and their wings flap and everything, so it's pretty cool if you ask me.

---

Hi SkaFish,
The Enchanted Forest coloring book I believe was specifically drawn for adults. There are no Disney princesses or smiling teddy bears in there, it's more adult-oriented. The pages are artfully drawn and the book is made of high-quality, thick paper. I have colored pencils and fine-tip markers, I'm not sure crayons would work very well on some of the drawings. I bought one for myself and since I knew my daughter would also want to color in it, I got her one as well so I could have one all to myself
I went to a major-chain bookstore today and there was a huge display near the front dedicated to adult coloring books. So I'm guessing it's trendy now - who knew?

-Teresa

Those books sound really neat, I might have to check that out some day. I have to say I like the sound of the fantasy theme - especially the owl, fox, and dragon pictures.

 

[Solivagant]

I grew up with lego and duplos, do they even still make duplos?

I loved Duplos!

I have to say I like the sound of the fantasy theme - especially the owl, fox, and dragon pictures.

Three of my faves!

You don't, whoever asked for the date should pay, otherwise that's just rude.

Agree and for me, that goes whether it's a date or a movie with a friend.

You invite, expect to pay. It's good manners.

Hmm, I wasn't aware this was etiquette. The only time I was out to dinner with someone outside of family, I was expected to pay my own way. I talked to someone else about it later who said it was rude of the person who invited me not to pay, but I thought she was overreacting. I guess I don't get out much.

This question of splitting the bill seems to come up fairly often on the forum. To Xpendable (or others who have brought this up): Why so focused on this aspect of the date? Is the money really so important?

I don't have much but I enjoy giving, so it seems a little strange to me. On a date I think I'd be a lot more focused on learning about the other person than who's going to pay for our activity.

 

[ardour]

You invite, expect to pay. It's good manners.

Hmm, I wasn't aware this was etiquette.

Neither was I. Maybe it's a culture thing. If someone invited me out I would still expect to pay my own way.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wouldn't have any first dates. That's my solution.

Can you or someone in here tell me exactly what a first date is? I can't seem to recall right now.

By the way, first dates with me I pay.

I've never been on a date really. I'm probably not the one to teach about it.

 

[lonelypanda]

Oh no way, you were into it too! They don't have new Beast Wars shows, though they do have Transformers shows - but it's probably like you said, for this generation of kids. I too am all about the old Transformers. No, they don't have a new Beast Wars show but they do have updated figures with more correct sizes

And just like you and the Turtles, I have a couple Transformers shirts too! I'm still a kid at heart.


Yeah that would be a lot of money for me as well. But they just keep making more and more detailed updates....I can't say it won't be tempting some day. I figure people spend money on way worse things than toys.

We were pretty loyal to LEGO as well, but my brothers had some neat Megabloks sets around a dragon theme. The dragons are pretty huge, and their wings flap and everything, so it's pretty cool if you ask me.

I'm a kid at heart too, that's the best way to live.

I've never seen anything beast wars in toys sections, maybe I'm not looking hard enough. I'm always in the toy section of every dept store, or are you getting them elsewhere? Or maybe it's cuz I'm in canada... hmmmm


For christmas I've already bought my daughter 3 large lego sets. She loves lego too, but I love building them. It's therapeutic to me, I like doing things that keep my mind busy.

I used to spend my money on dumb honeysuckle that was way worse, like as embarassing as this is I used to spend 600 on hair extensions and dye my hair blonde and get my nails done until I decided it's a huge waste of money. Now I have my natural hair, and its long because I let it grow and stopped damaging it with hair dye. I don't have to pay someone to glue someone elses hair in my head an make it long, I grew that honeysuckle out of my own head. Haha i paint my own nails now and now all that money I used to waste on dumb honeysuckle goes straight into savings or towards things that bring me a different kind of happiness, like toys haha It makes me mad thinking of the money I've wasted on stupid honeysuckle, live and learn I guess.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'm a kid at heart too, that's the best way to live.

I've never seen anything beast wars in toys sections, maybe I'm not looking hard enough. I'm always in the toy section of every dept store, or are you getting them elsewhere? Or maybe it's cuz I'm in canada... hmmmm


For christmas I've already bought my daughter 3 large lego sets. She loves lego too, but I love building them. It's therapeutic to me, I like doing things that keep my mind busy.

I used to spend my money on dumb honeysuckle that was way worse, like as embarassing as this is I used to spend 600 on hair extensions and dye my hair blonde and get my nails done until I decided it's a huge waste of money. Now I have my natural hair, and its long because I let it grow and stopped damaging it with hair dye. I don't have to pay someone to glue someone elses hair in my head an make it long, I grew that honeysuckle out of my own head. Haha i paint my own nails now and now all that money I used to waste on dumb honeysuckle goes straight into savings or towards things that bring me a different kind of happiness, like toys haha It makes me mad thinking of the money I've wasted on stupid honeysuckle, live and learn I guess.

Hmm, they should be around whether you are in the US or Canada. They released 3 Beast Wars figures in the Generations toyline.

Fun fact, I think Beast Wars was actually produced by a Canadian studio.

What were the 3 big LEGO sets you got for your daughter, by the way? I'm curious.

---

Question for the Women:

How would you feel if the guy you are in a relationship with, talks to other women he knows online?

I realized that while most of my offline friends are men, most of the friends I've made online have been women. I would like to get into a relationship someday, but I don't want to have to drop my online female friends. I care about them and their well-being and want to know how they are doing. Even if I have not been the best at it this year, I want to stay in touch.

What are your thoughts? Is there any way you would be all right with it?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Question for the Women:

How would you feel if the guy you are in a relationship with, talks to other women he knows online?

I realized that while most of my offline friends are men, most of the friends I've made online have been women. I would like to get into a relationship someday, but I don't want to have to drop my online female friends. I care about them and their well-being and want to know how they are doing. Even if I have not been the best at it this year, I want to stay in touch.

What are your thoughts? Is there any way you would be all right with it?

That's a tricky one, because you can get a million opinions to this question, but it's really going to fall down to how jealous or paranoid the girl you are dating is.
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as you aren't running off to talk to her ALL the time, ignoring me to talk to her, running everything by her first, quoting what she says or what she does incessantly, etc....get what I'm saying?

 

[TheSkaFish]

That's a tricky one, because you can get a million opinions to this question, but it's really going to fall down to how jealous or paranoid the girl you are dating is.
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as you aren't running off to talk to her ALL the time, ignoring me to talk to her, running everything by her first, quoting what she says or what she does incessantly, etc....get what I'm saying?

Yeah, I knew even as I was asking this that it would be tough. It's not really a one-size-fits-all question, but I just thought I'd ask to get a sampling of opinions.

I don't think I would talk to them daily, as I don't even talk to my offline friends daily. I think I would just like to keep in touch with them every now and then, perhaps check in with them a bit each week or so. I just want them to know I haven't forgotten them, still enjoy talking to them and think they're cool, and care about how they are doing in life.

I don't really do that stuff of talking to any one particular person all the time, ignoring people, or any of the rest of that as it is. I get what you're saying. No, this would just be keeping in touch. I just wouldn't want to lose them.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Question for the Women:

How would you feel if the guy you are in a relationship with, talks to other women he knows online?

I realized that while most of my offline friends are men, most of the friends I've made online have been women. I would like to get into a relationship someday, but I don't want to have to drop my online female friends. I care about them and their well-being and want to know how they are doing. Even if I have not been the best at it this year, I want to stay in touch.

What are your thoughts? Is there any way you would be all right with it?

I'm alright with it. As long as there's no flirting, which I know there's not, it's okay. I talk to guys and guy friends all the time. There's no flirting on my behalf, so there's never any question.

 

[lonelypanda]

Hmm, they should be around whether you are in the US or Canada. They released 3 Beast Wars figures in the Generations toyline.

Fun fact, I think Beast Wars was actually produced by a Canadian studio.

What were the 3 big LEGO sets you got for your daughter, by the way? I'm curious.

---

Question for the Women:

How would you feel if the guy you are in a relationship with, talks to other women he knows online?

I realized that while most of my offline friends are men, most of the friends I've made online have been women. I would like to get into a relationship someday, but I don't want to have to drop my online female friends. I care about them and their well-being and want to know how they are doing. Even if I have not been the best at it this year, I want to stay in touch.

What are your thoughts? Is there any way you would be all right with it?

---

It's now 4 lego sets haha

Imma answer your other question too, I think it's fine as long as your girl comes first. I think if you're in a relationship those online relationships will become less important. Not saying you'd drop them altogether but I know so many people who get in relationships and lose touch, it just happens because you start living in the real world and have less time for the interwebs. Everyone's different though.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Question for the Women:

How would you feel if the guy you are in a relationship with, talks to other women he knows online?

I realized that while most of my offline friends are men, most of the friends I've made online have been women. I would like to get into a relationship someday, but I don't want to have to drop my online female friends. I care about them and their well-being and want to know how they are doing. Even if I have not been the best at it this year, I want to stay in touch.

What are your thoughts? Is there any way you would be all right with it?

That's a tricky one, because you can get a million opinions to this question, but it's really going to fall down to how jealous or paranoid the girl you are dating is.
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as you aren't running off to talk to her ALL the time, ignoring me to talk to her, running everything by her first, quoting what she says or what she does incessantly, etc....get what I'm saying?

I'd echo Callie's opinion here, pretty much.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'm alright with it. As long as there's no flirting, which I know there's not, it's okay. I talk to guys and guy friends all the time. There's no flirting on my behalf, so there's never any question.

That's good that you are comfortable and secure in the situation. You say you talk to guy friends all the time - how do you make sure to make time for it though? That's another thing I wondered about. Working, hobbies, and relationships take up a lot of time, how do you make sure to still make time for your online friends? Do you just make sure to talk to them here and there, or set aside a specific amount of time per week? What do you think works best to maintain online connections when you're in a relationship?

---

It's now 4 lego sets haha

Haha wow...looks like your daughter is a regular LEGO maniac

Imma answer your other question too, I think it's fine as long as your girl comes first. I think if you're in a relationship those online relationships will become less important. Not saying you'd drop them altogether but I know so many people who get in relationships and lose touch, it just happens because you start living in the real world and have less time for the interwebs. Everyone's different though.

I don't know. I mean, I care about these people I've met online too. I enjoy their company, and they are no less real to me than my offline friends.

I don't think it would become a problem for me, because like I said, I don't even talk to my offline friends every day. But I'd hate to have to give up my online friends because I do care about them and want to keep them around.

---

I'd echo Callie's opinion here, pretty much.

That's good then. Glad to see so many responses saying that it wouldn't necessarily be a problem, and is very possible.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm alright with it. As long as there's no flirting, which I know there's not, it's okay. I talk to guys and guy friends all the time. There's no flirting on my behalf, so there's never any question.

That's good that you are comfortable and secure in the situation. You say you talk to guy friends all the time - how do you make sure to make time for it though? That's another thing I wondered about. Working, hobbies, and relationships take up a lot of time, how do you make sure to still make time for your online friends? Do you just make sure to talk to them here and there, or set aside a specific amount of time per week? What do you think works best to maintain online connections when you're in a relationship?

Usually, when I'm talking to my dude friends, my guy's in the conversation as well. Nowdays, because I'll be cooking or cleaning or doing my own thing, I don't join the calls as much as I used to. But I do know that other females (female friends of one of our friends) join, especially when they play CoD. I don't mind them, in fact I like talking to them myself. And I actually appreciate when the girlfriends or wives of my guy friends join in. I think it's nice when everyone gets along and gets to know each other.

In general, I guess it really depends on how someone wants to slot their time to people.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Usually, when I'm talking to my dude friends, my guy's in the conversation as well. Nowdays, because I'll be cooking or cleaning or doing my own thing, I don't join the calls as much as I used to. But I do know that other females (female friends of one of our friends) join, especially when they play CoD. I don't mind them, in fact I like talking to them myself. And I actually appreciate when the girlfriends or wives of my guy friends join in. I think it's nice when everyone gets along and gets to know each other.

In general, I guess it really depends on how someone wants to slot their time to people.

It sounds like all of the friends you're referring to are mutual friends of your boyfriend, so that probably makes things more smooth. In my case, if I were hypothetically in a relationship, these online friends would not be mutual friends of whatever girl I am seeing. They're just people I know.

Would your answer change if the female friends I'm talking about are not also mutual friends?

 

[VanillaCreme]

It sounds like all of the friends you're referring to are mutual friends of your boyfriend, so that probably makes things more smooth. In my case, if I were hypothetically in a relationship, these online friends would not be mutual friends of whatever girl I am seeing. They're just people I know.

Would your answer change if the female friends I'm talking about are not also mutual friends?

No, it wouldn't change. My answer is still the same: As long as there's no flirting, I'm okay with it. He does talk to females without me, but I know nothing is going on. Just like, I do talk to several guys that are not friends with him, and I know there's nothing funny going on, so it's fine.

I see this situation come up with friends, and I just don't get why their girlfriends don't want them to hang out with friends. I know that they should spend time together and all that nice stuff, but all the time? Give each other a break. Talk to other friends. I can't imagine spending time with my guy 24-7. I would hate it.

Or the girlfriends want the friends to give up gaming (which is how we all met, and what we do), and I don't get that either. Surely they knew that gaming was a good part of their life. I would never ask my guy to give up gaming. And I wouldn't give up gaming for anyone either.

I think it's fine that whenever you have a girlfriend that you have female friends. Perhaps introduce your girl to them. Make sure that your girl knows that she's still number one to you, regardless of the female friends being important to you as well. Because I think a lot of it comes from trying to control, "Oh, if I stop them from talking to so-and-so, they won't cheat or catch feelings for anyone else," and I don't think that's the right attitude to have. Having that trust has to be there, and if it's not in the first place, then it's a problem even without the friends.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I've got a couple questions.

The other day I was reading an article in which someone said, they believed that for men who want to attract women, you have to be a smart-ass in order to create attraction. I define a smart-ass as someone who is cocky, cynical, sarcastic, hostile, disrespectful, and rude, who likes to mock things, put things down, and be rebellious and antagonistic towards anything and everything. When I thought about what I'd observed, this made sense. Now, most of my friends are in relationships or have been in relationships at some point, and they are not smart-asses - but also, they experienced significant failures trying to get a girlfriend or had to wait a long time before anyone was interested in them. None of my friends had girlfriends when most guys started dating.

When I think about all the people I have ever come across, it's definitely been true that the nicer, friendlier guys tend to have a harder time getting a girlfriend whereas the smart-asses always had and still have an easy time getting someone, and if they don't have a girlfriend, it's because they want to be a player or because they don't feel like having a girlfriend. But if they changed their minds, they could get one easily.

Me, on the other hand, have always been described as nice, sweet, warm, cheerful, "sunny", and friendly - all traits that seem to be considered feminine, unmanly, and unattractive to women. I've heard it said many times that these traits are a romantic buzzkill, and snuff out any form of sexual attraction. I've been told that I'm too good, too "shiny", which women think of as being a wuss. Obviously I don't want to be thought of as a wuss but what am I supposed to do, start acting meaner? Start knowingly being a worse person? Being nice, sweet, friendly and so on is all I know how to be. It makes sense to me. When I care about someone in any capacity, I want to be nice to them. I am nice in general, I want to be happy, I don't like to mock and attack things for no reason. I feel good when I promote the things I like, and this goes for people too. I've never been the kind of guy that mocks a girl to show that he likes her, that's never seemed natural to me. It's the golden rule, treat others the way you want them to treat you. It's me casting my vote for what I want the world to be like. I have never been a smart-ass, and not only that, but I strongly dislike that kind of person.

I've also never been very rebellious - there are only a few things that I am interested in that would fall under that category. Besides, being rebellious would probably have gotten me disowned and cost me all my friends. It never seemed worth it. It never even seemed fun in and of itself. I've never felt any need to rebel before. I was never rich and never really had luxury, but always comfortable and always had more to lose by acting that way than I had to gain.

The other thing is, I've never been blatantly sexual either. I've just never felt comfortable acting that way, and I just don't want to because I think it's trashy and I want to be respectable in my own way. But at the same time, regardless of how friendly I am or my interests or anything else, I'm still a 29 year old straight man with all of the desires you might imagine someone like me to have. I'm not asexual and I'm not a little boy. This is why it makes me mad when people say that niceness is a sexual buzzkill. I'm nice, not dense. There's a difference.

Now, I'm not asking if you have to be a "bad boy" again. A smart-ass is like the watered-down, more socially acceptable version of that who isn't necessarily a criminal or a druggie but still has an antagonistic, clashing personality. But does a guy have to be at least somewhat of a smart-ass in order for you to feel attraction?

Can a woman be excited by a guy who isn't a smart-ass?

Also, slightly different question - does a guy have to be a risk-taker in order to be attractive?

I've also noticed that risk-takers get a lot of attention. Again this could be people who commit crimes and do dangerous drugs, but also extreme sports, motorcycling, stuff like that. I'm not necessarily opposed to the latter as I am to the former, but at the same time, I don't feel a particularly strong calling to do those things and they tend to cost a lot of money to get into anyway.

 

[ardour]

Skafish, obviously not a woman here but:

1) Do you have a job? Seem to remember you saying you were unemployed.

2) Ever consider asking this on a forum with a wider range of people? For example dating site forums or 'guys ask girls' etc. Some of the responses to these sort of questions are surprisingly insightful, believe it or not.